Deceive (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #2) (23 page)

To offer her what comfort I could, I ran one hand along her cheekbone. Then I moved closer to her, so that my lips almost brushed against hers. I could feel the warmth of her body pressed against me.

“I know,” I murmured. “I get it. But it’s for the better, yeah?”

She nodded. “Yeah. At least, I hope so.”

I closed the space between us. Her mouth was warm and inviting as I moved my tongue inside. She moaned against me, and I felt the wetness of fresh tears fall against the hand that still cupped her face.

“You are happy though, aren’t you?” I asked as I pulled away, terrified of the answer.

“Yeah, I am. It’s just so much to deal with.”

“I know.” Jesus fucking Christ did I know. Taking in Alyssa’s obvious stress, I decided to do the one thing I absolutely didn’t want to do. “Look, it’s been a long day for everyone. I think we just need some space tonight, and I need some fresh clothes anyway. Maybe I should go back to Mum’s now.” I rested my forehead against hers.

Her arms lifted around my waist, holding me to her. “You’re probably right,” she said. Instead of letting me go though, she held me more tightly than ever.

“I can stay for a little while . . . if you’d like, that is?”

She nodded and rested her head on my shoulder. “I just really don’t want today to end.”

I smiled to myself, knowing I’d achieved my goal. She was mine again. My heart swelled with pride at being able to say that. I could never let her go again. If I were to lose her it would break me. Lifting her in my arms, I lavished soft kisses along her cheek and neck as I carried her across to her bed and laid her down gently. Even though I needed her, it was clear she needed comfort and closeness, not sex. I curled around her and pulled her against my body.

“Can you stay until I fall asleep?” Alyssa asked the darkness.

I nodded and kissed her cheek once more. “Of course.”

We lay in silence. For my part, I just enjoyed being wrapped around her, hearing her soft breaths in the near silence of the night. An hour passed before her breathing steadied, and I knew she was asleep. As I carefully extracted myself from the bed, she moaned and grumbled a little in her sleep before clutching the pillow.

“Declan.” She murmured my name on a breath. A smile crept onto her features, and I found it almost impossible to leave the room.

After watching her for a moment more, I managed to withdraw from the magic of Alyssa, leaving the room and heading down the hall. When I passed Phoebe’s room, I paused to peer inside. She was stretched out on her back, her arms raised high above her head and her lips parted in a small pout. With her eyes closed, she looked so much like Alyssa. As I watched her sleeping, I couldn’t help but remember the first time I had ever seen Alyssa sleeping. I was eight at the time.

“DECLAN, MAKE sure your room is clean. We’re having guests tonight,” Mum called out. My thoughts immediately went to my cousins who stayed over much too often for my taste. I hated when they came because Toby always smelled like pee and even after he’d gone, the house stank for a week.

“Aw, Mum, do we have to?” I whined. “I don’t like Toby and Scott.”

“Who said anything about Toby or Scott?” Mum asked, her voice full of secrets and smiles.

“Who then?” I asked, running to find her.

“I guess you’ll have to wait and see.”

She laughed when I pouted.

“Always so impatient,” she said, scuffing my hair fondly. “Curtis Dawson is rostered on tonight and Ruth has just been called in to work, so they’ve asked if I can watch Josh and Alyssa. If that’s okay with you, of course?”

My excitement burst from me. Josh and Alyssa were my best friends. Well, Alyssa was my best friend and Josh was the cool older brother I always wished I had. Racing down to my room, I made sure all my stuff was packed away. Not that Alyssa would actually sleep in my room, she’d get the guest room, but I would have to share with Josh.

For the rest of the afternoon, I couldn’t relax. Ruth and Curtis turned up just after six with pizza and my two closest friends. We all wolfed down our pizza and ran to my room to play with my Xbox and watch some movies. We stayed up until Mum finally put her foot down and shooed us all into bed.

In the middle of the night, I woke to the sound of a soft whimpering. Climbing out of bed, I stepped around the trundle where Josh was sleeping to investigate. I walked through the darkened hall until I located the sound. It was coming from beneath the guest room door—where Alyssa was sleeping.

I pushed the door open before sneaking into the room. Glancing down at the bed, I could see the ghost of her outline. Her hair was spread out on the pillow behind her. Her face was drawn into a frown and she was whimpering and kicking. Still, she looked like a sleeping angel.

I knelt next to her bed and gently stroked her cheek. “Shh, Alyssa, I’m here.”

Her whimpering quietened and her movement stilled. I climbed onto her bed, staying above the comforter but determined to stop her nightmares.

I slept there the rest of the night and Mum found me the next morning.

I STOOD watching Phoebe for what I thought was just a few minutes, but must have been longer because I felt arms stretch around my waist, drawing me back to the present. My hands found their place over Alyssa’s hold as she rested her head on my back. “You didn’t leave?”

I shook my head. “I guess I got a bit distracted.”

After another glance in Phoebe’s room, I turned in Alyssa’s embrace. I was so overwhelmed with emotion, and there was only one way I could think of to release some of it. I captured Alyssa in my arms and pushed her back against the hallway wall, kissing her deeply. When she didn’t resist, I cupped her arse with my hand and pulled her against me. She moaned into my mouth, and I carried her back down to her room.

I spent the next hour devouring her body in every way I could, burning the taste of her lips and skin into my memory so that I could make it through Monday morning without her. After we were both satiated, I held her tightly to me and told her how I felt about her, Phoebe, and life in general. There was really only one way I could sum it up.

“Things are finally on track,” I whispered.

THE EARLY dawn light was just rising when I woke again. I leaned over and kissed Alyssa’s cheek softly.

“I’ll be back later today,” I whispered.

Obviously still fast asleep, she mumbled something incoherent in response. I wrote a quick note, letting her know I would be back later in the morning after my phone call with Dr. Henrikson. Then I crept out the door, pulling it locked behind me.

The shit-eating grin wouldn’t leave my face the whole way back to Mum’s.

When I pulled up in front of her house though, I saw a figure slumped on the doorstep. I recognised the shape at once and nearly ripped the car door off in my haste to get out.

“What the fuck are
you
doing here?” I shouted as I ran across the lawn.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: DADDY ISSUES

I COULDN’T BELIEVE my eyes. Lying prone in front of Mum’s front door, using his suitcase as a pillow, was my father—a man who’d always been proud and strong, and the man I had once looked up to. He leapt up from the position he’d been in when he heard my voice. In a series of short strides, I crossed the lawn and grabbed the front of his shirt.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I repeated in a menacing whisper as I got right up into his face.

“This is my house,” he replied, trying to draw himself up to my height and assert some level of authority. In reality, he just looked pathetic.

“Not anymore,” I hissed in reply. “Mum made it very clear to me that you are no longer welcome.”

He slunk back down again, his shoulders slumping and his head bowing. “I know.”

“All that shit you fed to me about respect. You’re fucking scum.”

He pressed his hand to his face, and if I hadn’t known he was a fucking heartless bastard, I might have thought he was crying.

“Just go, before you hurt her more.” I pointed toward his car.

“I have nowhere to go.”

“What about back to that fucking little whore that you had the nerve to call the love of your life?”

“I can’t.” His voice broke.

Not that I cared, but his statement took me by surprise. “Why not?”

“We had an argument, and she wants her privacy. I . . . gave her the apartment a little while ago, it’s in her name. She doesn’t want me to live with her.”

I didn’t know what I was more pissed about. The fact that he had given her an apartment, or the fact that he had thought he could just come begging back to Mum when he fucked it up with his whore.

“Mum doesn’t want you here either.”

He growled before turning his back on me. He kicked the door in frustration and I thought I heard a quiet yelp from inside the house.

“Really, Declan? You don’t think I realised that from the voice mail she left me? Or the fact that she changed the locks? Or maybe the fact that she drained our savings account?” His voice was full of sarcasm. Then he dropped his head. “I just need to talk to her. To work this out.” His voice was broken, despondent.

I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

If I didn’t think he would only be faithful as long as it suited him, I might have found a solution to help him, but I knew his type.

I also remembered his words at the cafe and what happened with Hayley. The look on Mum’s face and the pain in her voice when she spoke about what happened between them. Most importantly, I remembered what he’d done to Alyssa.

I took a deep breath. “I am going to give you three seconds to get the fuck out of here.”

“Declan, I need to talk to your mother.”

“One!”

“This isn’t all my fault, I just want her to listen—”

“Two!” I roared, cutting him off. I clenched and released my fists in anger.

“It’s never mattered before.”

Launching myself at him, I grabbed the cuff of his shirt and pressed him into the door. Tears of rage pricked my eyes as I allowed the emotions I felt to flow through me. I was in his face, screaming, “How dare you say that, you sick son of a bitch! Does the fact that you have a family at home not matter? How can you come home at night extolling the virtues of fucking respect when you have none yourself?”

He cowered against the screen door.

“How many were there?” I asked, my voice dropping low and dripping with venom. The hatred I felt for him rose in my throat like bile.

He shook his head and raised his hands protectively.

“How many?” I shouted. No doubt all the neighbours up and down the street could hear me, but I didn’t care. I raised my fist to force an answer, but was distracted by the wooden door behind the security screen opening just a crack. Mum’s face appeared through the mesh.

“Declan, don’t,” she whispered. Her face was streaked with tears, and it looked like she hadn’t slept all night.

“What the fuck, Mum? Are you going to defend him now?”

She shook her head, her eyes never leaving my face. “No, but I don’t want you to fight with him,” she whispered, her gaze steadfastly ignoring the shape of my father’s head in front of her.

I used my grip on his collar as leverage to twist him away. I threw him onto the grass before shoving his suitcase after him with my foot.

“Go back inside, Mum,” I ordered.

“Declan . . .,” she started with a voice laced with worry.

“Just shut the door. I’ll deal with this.”

“Please, don’t,” I heard her whisper behind me.

I turned back to look at her. “I won’t do anything stupid,” I reassured her. “I just have to get rid of him.”

She nodded and closed the door.

I walked over to where my father was lying prone on the ground. Nothing remained in him of the man I’d once admired and loved.

“Get up,” I hissed, nudging his side with my foot.

He pulled himself into a sitting position.

“Get up!” I screamed.

He scrambled to his feet.

“Now fuck off and never come back. Leave Mum alone.”

“What if she wants me back?” he challenged, even as he grabbed his suitcase and backed toward his car.

“Then I will be advising her to go see a fucking shrink.” I stalked in his footsteps, my fists clenched tightly at my side. It took everything in me to allow him to walk away unscathed.

He threw his suitcase into the back of the car before climbing into the driver seat and winding down his window. “You’ll never understand,” he spat at me.

I reached into the car and stopped him from turning the ignition. “You’re right . . . I never will. Because I couldn’t imagine ever hurting Alyssa that way.”

“You think you have it all worked out, don’t you?”

“No. But I have it worked out a damn sight better than you do,” I murmured, preparing to pull my arm from the car and let him go. I was going to be the bigger man, I wasn’t going to let violence or alcohol be my first resort anymore. For Alyssa and Phoebe, I would be the bigger man.

“That slut will take your money and leave you dry.” His voice was so soft I almost missed what he said, but it registered enough for my elbow to snap back sharply into his nose. I listened with satisfaction to the wet sounding crunch as it connected.

Although I wasn’t going to let violence rule my life, I wasn’t about to let him trash talk Alyssa that way either.

I pulled my arm back out of the car and watched as he clutched one hand to his nose.

“You’re fucking crazy,” he said as he switched on the ignition.

“Yeah,” I scoffed. “I get that shit from my father.”

“Mark my words, boy, you will regret this. I . . .” He stopped himself short, glancing at the damage I had caused in the rear-view mirror. “God, to think I was about to throw it all away . . . for you,” he muttered into the hand he held up to his nose to stem the bleeding.

I didn’t want to listen to any more of his bullshit and lies. “Just fuck off, and stay away this time.”

He scowled at me before pulling out of the drive. Unable to resist, I stuck my middle finger up at his car as it retreated into the distance.

Covering the distance back to the front door, I knocked lightly on the screen.

“Mum?” I called out. “He’s gone.”

The wooden door opened and Mum stood in front of me. She looked terrible as she unlocked the screen door. Her eyes were red-rimmed with huge black bags circling underneath them, her skin was pasty and white, and her always-perfect auburn hair was dishevelled. She handed me a key.

“I . . . I changed the locks.”

“Good.” I nodded as I gave her appearance another quick assessment. “Are you going to be all right?”

She nodded.

“How long was he there for?”

“Most of the night. I told him to leave, but he wouldn’t. He said he would stay as long as he needed to until I spoke to him again.”

My mouth twisted and I frowned at the fact that she’d let him hassle her all night. “You should have called me.”

She shook her head. “You were with Alyssa. It’s important that you two sort through everything. I need to know that you two at least are okay before I leave.”

I grabbed her hands in my own, and my face broke into an involuntary smile. “We’re better than okay. Mum, it’s great,” I gushed. Then I continued, my voice dropping lower, “In fact . . . we told Phoebe last night.”

She looked shocked. “So soon.”

“Why wait?” I asked with a shrug. “I wouldn’t want to lie to her. I know how that bullshit feels. And I think Lys gets that.”

Mum looked away. “I’m sorry for the mistakes I’ve made, Declan. I should have tried harder to tell you about Alyssa and the twins.”

I shook my head. “Don’t. The truth is I probably wouldn’t have listened. I certainly wouldn’t have been ready to know. To be honest, I probably would have run a mile if I’d found out differently. It sucks that I’ve missed so much of Phoebe’s life, but . . .” I raked my hand through my hair. “I feel like I’m in a better place now, you know?”

She touched her finger to my chin. “I can see that, I think anyone could see how good Alyssa and Phoebe are for you.”

“What can I say?” I said as a loopy grin formed on my lips. “They’re my girls.”

Mum smiled through her obvious exhaustion.

“If he comes back, call me. Anytime. Alyssa will understand.” I patted her back gently. “Now go to bed,” I ordered softly, kissing her cheek. I turned my back to her, walking toward the kitchen to get some breakfast.

She laughed. “Look at you, Mr. Responsible.”

With a grin on my face, I shrugged and continued on my way. When she’d headed to bed, I fixed myself my favourite delicacy—vegemite toast. Holding one piece of toast in my mouth, I carried the other in my hand and went to the living room. Leaning my toast on my knee, I sat on the couch and flicked on the TV. I couldn’t get into anything that was on. Weekday morning TV held little that interested me, especially when my head was filled with thoughts of Alyssa and Phoebe.

With the mood I was in, I doubted even motorsport would’ve held my attention. Instead, I allowed the drone of the TV to fill my mind as I clutched my phone, anxiously waiting for Dr. Henrikson’s call. Once he’d called, I would shower, change, and head back to Alyssa’s arms. I trailed my hand through my hair as the time ticked by so goddamn slowly.

When my phone finally started to vibrate, I had it to my ear almost before the first ring could escape.

“Doc!” I almost shouted down the line, excitement ringing in my tone. I couldn’t wait to tell him about my weekend and everything that happened between Alyssa, Phoebe and me.

“Declan,” he greeted cautiously. “You seem particularly cheerful this morning.”

“Fuck, Doc, why wouldn’t I be? The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and I’m in love with two beautiful girls.”

“So I’m guessing you talked with Alyssa after our phone call on Friday.”

“Yeah, Doc. We talked.” I couldn’t help the double entendre that came through when I said the last word, but visions of the weekend and everything Alyssa and I had done came into my mind. I considered how much had changed between us in just a few short days. On Friday, I would have thought it would be months before we’d enjoy that kind of fun. There were still so many obstacles for us to overcome, but at least it seemed like she was on my side now. Or more specifically, that we’d formed our own side.

“Why don’t you tell me about that conversation?”

“I don’t know what to say, but we talked, we had fun, we both got some things out of our system.” I was trying to will away the erection that was building quickly as I thought about the type of things Alyssa and I got out of our system. It was highly inappropriate for me to be talking to my shrink with a raging boner, but I couldn’t help myself.

“What did you talk about?”

“About everything.”

I spent my hour on the phone giving him the clean version of the weekend, all the while the real events played over and over in my head. Halfway through the call, I moved from the comfortable confines of the couch and headed to my room to start packing a fresh bag of clothes. I threw all the ones from my night in the hotel with Eden and my weekend with Alyssa into the clothes hamper. I wasn’t sure what Alyssa would have to say about me staying at her house for a few days, but figured it couldn’t hurt to pack for it . . . just in case.

I sat on the bed just as I began to tell him about Phoebe. “We even told my daughter. Who I am, I mean.” I choked on the last part.

“How do you feel about that?”

“Honestly? I don’t think ecstatic is too strong a word. I mean, she took the news so well. She was excited about it.”

“Children are very resilient.”

I wondered what he’d meant by that, but decided to let it roll off my back. “She was happy. That’s all that mattered.”

“You’re right. So what’s next for you and Alyssa?”