Deep Surrendering: Episode Ten (4 page)

“Do you mind if I walk you home? Or escort you home?” Damn, he was a gentleman.

“Not at all.” I told him where I lived.

“Oh, hey, I live two blocks away. Small world, isn’t it?” It was.

Chase paid for a cab to take us back to my place first. He even got out of the cab, told the guy to wait and continued to take my books all the way to my front door.

“Man, you take chivalry seriously,” I said as we paused in my doorway. I had to admit that he was good-looking and I’d had a good time and maybe, just maybe there were a few sparks. But I couldn’t go there right now. It was far too soon for anything like this. Even if it was just a kiss.

“Well, it was so nice to meet you, and thanks for the coffee, dinner and the book carrying.” I put my key in the door and realized I didn’t have his number, so I took out my phone and turned it on so he could give it to me. I didn’t know if I’d ever use it, but just in case.

“So, yeah. I guess I’ll see you again at the library?” Should we make plans? I was really terrible at this.

“Definitely. I’m going to be spending a lot of time there now.”

“Like, tomorrow? Around five?” he asked with another little smile.

“Absolutely. I’ll see you there. Same table?”

“Same table.” He seemed like he wanted to say something else. Or do something else. But he decided against it and backed up.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow, Marisol. It was really great to meet you.”

“Ditto. And it was really great to meet you, Chase.” He nodded and then headed for the elevator.

What an interesting day it turned out to be.

I
called Chloe as soon as I could to tell her about the last twenty-four hours.

“It’s been nuts,” I told her. “From Fin being missing to randomly meeting this guy. I can’t even believe it.” I was going to leave Sapphire out of it and just tell Chloe I had a feeling something was wrong with Fin. That was what Sapphire had told me, so it wasn’t far from the truth.

“Wow, gimme all the details. I’ve had an awful day at work and I could use the distraction so I don’t commit arson and burn the spa down.”

“Okay, but then you’re going to tell me all about that.”

“Deal.”

So I gave her the abbreviated version (minus Sapphire) of the whole thing. She listened and gasped and showed surprise at all the right parts. It felt even more dramatic in the retelling than it had been living through it.

“Holy shit, Mari. You have this really intense life. Sometimes I’m jealous.” She wouldn’t be if she knew the whole story.

“I don’t even know what to think right now. My mind is still reeling. I also feel guilty.”

“Aw, why?”

“I don’t know. Like I’m betraying Fin or something. I know I’m not, but I can’t help the way I feel,” I said. I was so relieved I had her to talk to, at least about this.

“Poor, Mari. He really did a number on you, didn’t he?” Yeah, he had.

“It will just take some time to get over it. I will, but it’s not going to be easy.” I’d thought I was getting somewhere, but then I talked to him on the phone and it brought everything back up again. Now I was back at the beginning. Starting over.

“Do you need some more aquarium time? I think they’re closed now, but I can break in if you need me to.” It was very sweet that she would risk arrest to make me feel better, but I could deal.

“I can handle it. I did before and I can do it again. I’m a big girl.”

“Hell yeah you are! I know it’s late, but do you want me to come over? We can stay up and talk.” Both of us had to get up tomorrow, but I hadn’t had her over to stay the night in ages.

“Yes, come over!” I said. Having Chloe over would save me from spending the next few hours writing more Fin letters. I needed more human interaction.

“Awesome, I will be right there.” Chloe lived so close to me that if she could jump from roof to roof, she could be here in seconds.

“Bring wine,” I said. I hadn’t had the sake, but if Chlo was coming over, there had to be wine involved.

“Done,” she said and hung up. I rushed around, getting all my junk food out and ready. I also threw my clothes off and put my cutest and comfiest pajamas on. For a moment, I thought about Fin’s apartment and how much fun it would be to curl up in his bed and bring down the large video screen and have a movie marathon with Chlo. But I wasn’t going back there. Even if I had a key. That part of my life was done. Left behind so I could move on.

I was just tossing my hair into a messy bun on the top of my head when Chloe knocked on my door. I opened it and she held up two bottles of wine and grinned at me.

“You are my favorite,” I said as she danced her way in.

“Well, duh,” she said, putting down the bottles and then grabbing some wine glasses.

“I have a nice spread for us,” I said, motioning to the smorgasbord I’d put out on the coffee table.

“Excellent. I definitely need to drown my feelings in some food. Are you PMSing right now?” Since we were so close, our cycles tended to sync up.

“Yup.” She made a face at me and handed me a glass.

“So, I need way more details on this Chase fellow.” We headed to the couch and I gave her painstaking details about Chase, right down to his eyebrows and every single freckle. I mean, I’d only met the guy today and spent a few hours with him so I couldn’t give that many details, but I did my best.

“Now tell me about your day,” I said. “I’m sick of talking about me.” I finished my first glass of wine and poured another.

Chloe didn’t need much encouraging to launch into her day from hell. That got me through my second glass and by the time she finished, I was sleepy and full and feeling much better.

“Movie?” I asked.

“Yes, but only something made before the year 2000.” Chloe wasn’t a fan of many modern movies. Most of her faves were from the seventies and eighties and even earlier.

She got up and went through my collection and selected
Can’t Buy Me Love
with the absolutely dreamy Patrick Dempsey.

“He was so dorky in this,” she said, pressing play on the DVD player.

“I know, but you can still see the potential. He’s even better looking the older he gets. I can’t wait to see him as a silver fox. Hubba hubba,” I said.

“I would go straight for him, I swear,” Chloe said, which was quite a statement to the beauty that was Mr. Dempsey. Chloe wouldn’t go straight for a million dollars.

“You would suck his dick?” I asked.

Chloe squinted at him and turned her head to the side, like she was considering.

“Maybe. I’d probably have to close my eyes and pretend it was a banana or something.”

“It doesn’t really work that way,” I said. You could pretend a dick was anything you want, but at the end of the day, it was still a dick and you still had it in your mouth.

“I could give you some tips, if you want,” I said.

Chloe shuddered.

“We need to stop talking about this right now,” she said. “It’s ruining this for me.” I shut my mouth and looked at the bottle of wine. There was still a little bit left. Chloe had drunk more than me. I should probably catch up.

We talked through the rest of the movie, but not about Patrick Dempsey’s dick. We avoided any dick talk.

“So, do you think you’re going out with him again?” she said, and I knew she wasn’t talking about Patrick.

“I don’t know, Chloe. I didn’t really go out with him this time. I told him I’d just gotten out of something and he said it was no pressure. He also didn’t kiss me. He thought about it, but he didn’t. I respect that. Even if I wanted to date him, I just can’t right now. It’s too soon.” She was one to talk. She still hadn’t started dating and it had been several months since Harmony.

“Well, I think you should go out with him. He sounds perfect.” I gave her a look.

“Chlo, no one is perfect.”

“Yes, but he
could
be.” She wasn’t letting this die.

“Why are you so interested in this guy?” I asked.

She grabbed a bag of chips, stuck her hand in, pulled it out and pouted. Apparently the bag was empty.

“Because I think it would be good for you to be with someone else. I mean, if you’re going to be with someone else right now. You don’t have to. But if you did. I mean, I haven’t even met the guy, but I can tell you like him just by the way you’re talking. So it sounds like he’s a winner already. Plus, he’s going to law school. He could make mucho bucks.” If he was the right kind of lawyer, I suppose. If he went into doing pro-bono work, not so much. If he went into corporate law, oh yeah. Chase hadn’t told me what kind of law he wanted to get into. He’d seemed kind of cagey about it, so I didn’t push. I got the impression that maybe his parents were the ones who had pushed him into it. I’d asked him what his parents did and, surprise, they were lawyers.

“I don’t know if you’re going to meet him, because I don’t know how often I’m going to see him. And I don’t mean see him like date him. I mean see him like… hang out with him. Studying and so forth.” Talking about this was starting to stress me out again.

“Can we not talk about this?” I asked, rubbing my forehead. I felt a headache coming on, which was weird because I wasn’t even close to having a hangover yet. I got up to fetch some aspirin and a glass of water.

“I’m sorry, I just want you to meet a nice guy.” I did meet a nice guy. I met the nicest guy ever and things didn’t work out. Now every other nice guy would have to measure up to him. Sure, I was attracted to Chase, but it wasn’t that burning fire I felt the first time I met Fin. He didn’t make me feel like I was going to swoon over every time he looked at me. That dimple though…

No, I didn’t need to think about this right now. I had more pressing matters, like school. And my mother.

“Really, the last thing I need is another boy in my life,” I said as I sat back down on the couch. The movie was almost wrapping up to the happy conclusion. Why couldn’t life be like an 80s movie? Where was John Hughes when you needed him?

“Amen. I don’t need any and I do just fine. Pussy trumps dick.” I made a face at her.

“Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. I’m totally happy to let you have a shot.” She was totally joking. I was used to Chloe propositioning me.

“I’m good,” I said and we went back to watching the movie.

By the time it was over, I was really drowsy from the wine, but I wasn’t ready for bed yet.

“Another?” I said.

“Yup. You pick this time.” I didn’t feel like getting up, but I did. I needed to get some new movies. I’d been cycling through the same ones for ages.

I picked a classic and went with
Notting Hill
.

“Ew, Hugh Grant, really? He’s so gross,” Chloe said as the movie started with shots of Julia Roberts.

“He’s British and floppy-haired.” I had a thing for messy hair, clearly. “Just stare at Julia if you don’t like him.”

“She’s not my type,” Chloe whined. I picked up one of my accent pillows and threw it at her. She caught it and put it behind her back to prop herself up more.

“Oh for the love of God. Find someone with tits to stare at then.” Chloe pouted, but didn’t say anything else. She was just giving me a hard time, as best friends are wont to do.

Chloe and I both fell asleep on the couch, our bodies stretched out opposite one another. I woke up in the morning with one of her toes nearly up my nose and I was doing the same thing to her. I really needed to get a bigger couch if we were ever going to do this again.

“Oh my God, I am never doing that again,” Chloe moaned and then rolled over.

“What time is it?” she asked and I groped for my phone on the coffee table. It was nearly eight. Fortunately, we’d woken up with enough time to get ready. Chloe didn’t have to be into work until nine and I didn’t have class until ten.

“Coffee please,” Chloe said as I stumbled to my feet and into the kitchen.

“I’m working on it,” I snapped. I couldn’t be responsible for anything I said before I’d had my first cup. I hated talking to anyone before I’d at least brushed my teeth.

“Can I shower here?” she asked. God, she was demanding in the morning.