Defender (Battle Born Book 4) (14 page)

He cupped the side of her face and brushed his thumb over her lips. “You know why.”

She shook her head. “Everything has changed. I remember what they did, what they made me do. You can’t possibly—”

His mouth swopped down for a quick yet thorough kiss. “Nothing will change the way I feel about you. Nothing.”

There was only one play left, one way to push him away. It broke her heart to use it, but she had to protect him from this pain. “But it changed the way I feel about you.”

“Really?” His lips teased her face, brushing her skin without returning to her mouth. “Then why are we naked?”

She looked down and gasped. He was right. Neither of them had a stich on. She controlled the visualization, so why were they both naked? “I’m too upset to manifest clothes.”

He just chuckled then kissed her again. “Sure you are.”

“I don’t want you to…” She pushed him back, though he didn’t go very far. Strategy hadn’t worked. Maybe he’d respond to the truth. “You don’t deserve this.”

His lips thinned and his eyes flashed with an emotion she couldn’t quite name. “If I got what I
deserved
, sweetheart, I’d be dead. Horrible things were done to you, but I’ve done horrible things. So which one of us deserves better?”

For a long, silent moment, she searched his eyes, struck again by the expressiveness of his natural eye. Technology could manufacture convincing facsimiles of nature, but only the Benevolent Creator could add the spark of life. “How did it happen?”

“How did what happen?” His eyebrows scrunched up, accenting his scar.

She traced the jagged line from his forehead to the corner of his mouth. “How did you lose your eye?”

“I trusted the wrong person and got three of my team members killed. I made the medics leave the scar to celebrate the fact that I was still alive and to make damn sure I was never that foolish again.” Before she could delve deeper, he subtly shifted the topic. “How did you know? Most people can’t tell the difference.”

“I spend more time looking into your eyes than most people.” She even mustered a faint smile. “Is it just cosmetic or can you actually see with it?”

“It has some fun functions, thermo-imaging, extreme magnification and night vision, but it’s more like a detailed scanner than actual vision.” He trailed his hand down her neck and onto the upper curve of her breast. “I can detect the shift in your temperature whenever I touch you, but I have to use my natural eye to see your soft, pink nipples.”

His thumb skated across the tip of her breast and she sucked in a breath. “I need a shower.” Couldn’t he feel how dirty she was, how filthy they had left her?

“Vox will help guide us out if you need assistance.”

She shook her head. “I know the way.” She scanned into the distance and sensed their bodies entwined on a bed. “Are we in your suite or mine?”

“Yours.”

Absently running her fingers over his firm chest, she asked, “Did you undress me?”

He mirrored her caress, his fingertips grazing the upper curve of her breasts. “I’m much too possessive to share. We still have an audience.”

“Not for long.” Without waiting for his reply, she closed her eyes and focused on the light. Returning to reality was easier than manifesting the metaphysical plane. All she had to do was release her hold on the visualization and nature did the rest. After a quick sense of acceleration, her spirit collided with her physical body and she awakened with a gasp.

Raylon reacted in much the same way. He gasped and sat up, blinking repeatedly as he adjusted to the abrupt change. Immediately, he turned and reached for Chandar. She took his hand rather than letting him pull her back into his arms. They sat on top of her bedding, but the situation was still awkward with Vox and Indigo in the room.

Chandar looked at Vox and tried to sound more composed than she felt. “It worked. My abilities are restored.”

“And your memories?” Indigo studied Chandar through narrowed eyes, speculation and worry knitting her brow.

“Vox was right. It had to be this way.” She scooted off the foot of the bed, avoiding physical contact with Raylon. “I need a few hours to recuperate and then I’ll attempt to summon a vision.”

Vox accepted her decision with a nod and departed.

Indigo wasn’t so easily convinced. “Are you really okay?”

“No,” Chandar admitted with a shaky smile. “But I will be.”

“Two hours. No more.” Indigo looked at Raylon and her expression tensed even more. “Are you coming?”

“In a minute.” He waved her toward the door.

Indigo crossed her arms, ignoring his silent command. Instead, she returned her gaze to Chandar. “Do you want him to stay?”

Chandar nodded. “If I ask him to leave, he’ll go.” Raylon’s lips quirked and a gleam in his eyes warned that it might not be that easy. Still, Chandar wanted to be alone with him. She needed to regain control of every area of her life. If she started with the area most impacted by her captivity, the rest would be easy.

“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” Indigo persisted. “I think I’m better equipped to—”

“If she needs you, she’ll call.” Raylon swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood.

The subtle show of aggression only made Indigo dig in her heels. “It’s Chandar’s decision, not yours.”

“She told you to go already.” He took a step toward Indigo, but Chandar moved in front of him, facing her friend.

“It’s okay.” Chandar nodded toward the door as she reached back and interlaced her fingers with Raylon’s. “I’ll be fine.”

Indigo hesitated a moment longer then walked from the room.

As the door closed behind Indigo, Raylon wrapped his arms around Chandar’s waist and pulled her back into the warmth of his body. “Still want that shower, or do you need something else first?”

Chandar wasn’t sure what she needed. She felt so different, so
changed
by the restoration that she wasn’t sure how to react. She was whole again, finally. Her power was accessible and she remembered her training, the wide variety of techniques and hours of practice it had taken to master each skill.

She also remembered her past. Without lapse, her memory stretched from the present to very early childhood. However, thanks to Vox, the past two years were muted, available yet blurred as if the events had taken place decades ago rather than weeks. “A shower would be wonderful.”

Very slowly, he turned her around and tilted her head back until their gazes met. “Am I invited?”

She nervously licked her lips and his eyes shifted downward, focusing on her mouth. “I’m not sure how far I can go, but I’d love to find out.”

“You say stop, we stop, no explanation required. We can move as slowly as you need.”

“All right.” She took him by the hand and led him into the utility room. He’d seen her naked before. She’d been too traumatized the first few days to comprehend personal space. All she’d known was she was terrified and Raylon made her feel safe. Even in the visualization a few minutes ago, she hadn’t bothered with clothes. It just seemed natural for them to be naked and together.

Her tutors had claimed that organic harbingers were only genetically compatible with other organic harbingers. If that were true, why was she feeling the mating pull with Raylon? And this was no ordinary infatuation. The forces drawing her to him were stronger than anything she’d experienced before. It made her wonder what else she’d been taught that was utter rubbish.

Raylon stroked the side of her face then ran his fingers through her hair. Desire smoldered in his gaze, but flickers of uncertainty kept him distanced, his natural aggression caged. “If Indigo was right and you’re not ready, we can—”

Chandar placed her fingertips against his lips. A move she’d learned from him. “She’s not. I need this. I need you.”

His hand moved to the back of her head, fingers buried in her hair. Then he bent and covered her mouth with his, the kiss slow and tender. She returned the kiss, her hesitation quickly melting beneath the heat of their mutual desire.

Feeling her way across his chest, she located the seam in his uniform top. Then his hands were there helping her, speeding the process. But she brushed him aside, refusing to be rushed and needing to maintain control as long as he’d let her.

She peeled the top down his arms and let it drop to the floor. His mouth still moved over hers, his tongue lightly stroking. But she was more aware of her hands as they mapped his chest, arms and back. She’d seen him shirtless numerous times. Her intrusion into his life had made modesty almost impossible. But she’d never dared to touch him, really touch him, like she was doing now.

Briefly, they broke apart as they rid themselves of their footwear. He took advantage of the opportunity and pulled her multi-layer robe off over her head, then swept her back into his arms. She was down to her undergarments and he wore only his pants, but now that skin pressed against skin, he seemed in no hurry to complete the process.

They kissed and caressed each other, her touch even bolder than his. He kept one hand buried in her hair while the other moved up and down her back, pressing her against his torso. Soon they were both breathing hard and her head was pleasantly spinning. If his strong arms hadn’t held her, she wasn’t sure she’d still be on her feet.

“Shower.” She gasped as their lips momentarily parted. “It wasn’t just an excuse to get you naked. I really do want a shower.”

He stepped back and braced his hands on his knees, panting harshly. He nodded then said, “Turn around.”

She knew why he asked, had felt him harden against her belly. “I need to see you.” Frustration sparked in his eyes, so she trusted him with the reason. “It was easier for them to control me from behind. I have to be able to see your face, to know who’s touching me.”

Anguish rolled across his features as he pulled her back into his arms. He didn’t kiss her, just pressed her against his heart. “Everyone who hurt you will pay for what they did. I won’t rest until they do.”

She pushed back and looked into his eyes. “They deserve punishment, and we’ll see that they get it, but I won’t let bitterness control me. And I don’t want that for you. We have too much to accomplish and too many people depending on us. Akim and his crew cannot be the focus of our energy.”

He framed her face with his hands and gazed deep into her eyes. “I’ll try to stay focused on the future, but you mean the world to me.”

They kissed again, a long, deep expression of emotions they weren’t yet ready to name. Then she eased back and slipped out of her undergarments. He watched her, desire heating his gaze. When he seemed content to look at her, she unfastened his pants and slipped her hands inside. His hips were lean and sleekly muscled, so she moved farther back, cupping his firm ass cheeks.

“Take off your pants,” she whispered. “I want to see
all
of you.”

His hands shook as he pushed his pants down then kicked them aside. From broad shoulders to sturdy feet, his entire body was shaped by tightly defined muscles. Brown hair lightly dusted his chest, legs, and groin. The pattern naturally drew her attention to his sex. His shaft was long and thick, unmistakably ready to claim her, but she wasn’t afraid. Regardless of his physical need, Raylon would never hurt her.

After studying his body for a long silent moment, she moved closer and raised her hands to his shoulders. “The only scar on your entire body is the one on your face. Why do you hide behind it?”

He bent and wrapped one of his arms around her thighs, sliding her up along his body until her feet no longer touched the floor. She sighed then shivered, which made him smile knowingly. “I’m a warrior.” He opened the shower door and carried her inside. “Looking frightful is an advantage. My enemies are intimidated before I ever raise a weapon.”

“You don’t look frightful to me.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his mouth.

Their mouths separated long enough to activate the shower, then she wrapped her legs around his waist and clung to him. Through this entire crisis, he’d been her rock, a shelter from the storm. He was her champion, a fierce defender, willing to lay down his life for her. Trusting him with her heart, and her body, felt natural, even preordained. Harbingers were spiritual creatures, attuned to forces beyond the physical realm. But Raylon was a battle-hardened warrior. Would he understand the significance of their attraction?

They kissed and kissed as warm water trailed down their bodies. He held her with one arm and caressed her with the other, keeping his touches light and teasing. Her breasts pressed against his chest, but he swept his thumb along the outer swell as he moved up or down her torso.

“I need to wash my hair.” She released her ankles, intending to stand, but he caught her legs and guided them back into position around his waist.

“Stay there. I’ve got you.” His voice was harsh and gravely, but tenderness warmed his expression.

She tightened her legs and her folds opened around the thickness of his shaft. She gasped and closed her eyes, her fingernails pressing into his shoulders. He was right there, so close to where he belonged, and—despite everything she felt for him—she was terrified by the possibility that he’d enter her.

“Angel, open your eyes. Look at me.”

Slowly, she raised her lids and released a shaky breath.

“I will never hurt you, never pressure you for anything.” He brushed his lips against hers. “Now, hold me tight and I’ll wash your hair.”

He filled his palm with cleansing gel from the wall dispenser and went to work on her hip-length hair. His fingers ran through the thick strands over and over then massaged her scalp until she dropped her head back with a sigh. “That feels so good.”

Slick with lather, his hand ran down the side of her neck and over her shoulder. His progress was slow, his destination obvious. He braced her hips with one arm as her hold on him relaxed, but his other hand continued to explore. He caressed her upraised arm, then slid along her side, his thumb sneaking closer to her breast with each pass.

“Touch me,” she whispered, barely resisting the urge to squirm.