Defender (Battle Born Book 4) (18 page)

She opened her eyes as well and her phitons shimmered. “It’s not nothing, Raylon. I can feel the thrill of your discovery and it makes this feel new again.”

“I know you’re still healing, but you’re much stronger than I realized.”

She smiled, clearly pleased by the comment. “I’m so glad you understand that. Part of what attracts me to you is your strength, but you’re continually holding back with me.”

Her eyes filled with sensual invitation and her lips slowly parted. If she kept looking at him like that, she was going to find herself flat on her back with his cock buried deep inside her.

Her smile spread into a naughty grin. “I should probably warn you that I’ll be able to hear your thoughts until you learn how to shield them.”

His eyes widened. Had she heard… “I didn’t mean it literally.”

“That’s what I was talking about,” she cried. “Stop treating me like I’m going to shatter. I want to be flat on my back with you buried deep inside me. I won’t feel free until that happens.”

Barely able to resist the temptation, he pulled her into his arms. Despite her obvious enthusiasm, she wasn’t ready for rough play. He wasn’t even sure she was ready for sex. Still, he kissed her deeply and felt her arousal build. Knowing exactly what she was feeling was such a relief. He carefully tangled his fingers in the back of her hair and waited to see if that upset her. She pressed against him, eagerly returning his kiss, but uncertainty rippled through her other emotions. He released her hair and gently touched her face. The anxiety eased and he felt only simmering arousal.

“I have to work through the fear.” She whispered the words against his parted lips. “Avoiding it won’t make this go away.”

“I know, but we don’t have to work through it all at once.” He pressed a sweet, closed-lip kiss to her mouth. “We have the rest of our lives to get this right.”

She nodded, but didn’t look pleased by the outcome. “We can’t let them win. I need to know I can still enjoy sharing pleasure with someone I care about.”

He felt the tenderness she spoke of in her mind and couldn’t hold back a smile. Hearing her say she cared about him was wonderful, but feeling the emotion and knowing, without doubt, that it was true was an assurance he never expected to experience again. “I want to give that to you. More than you can imagine, but we have to take it one step at a time.”

She rolled her bottom lip out in the most adorable pout. “And if I don’t want to wait?”

“Let’s head for the finish line and see how far we get. No pressure. No guilt. But if I say stop, we stop.”

Her brows gathered into a frown as she tilted her head. “Why is that your decision?”

“Because, I’m in charge.” He leaned down and nipped her bottom lip just like he’d been itching to do all evening. “Got it?”

She returned the nip then kissed him before whispering, “Got it.”

“Good.” He opened the front seam in his uniform top and shrugged out of the garment. They’d been naked in the shower, but he really did think slow and steady was the only viable course. Leaving his pants on, he gathered the hem of her robes in both hands. “Arms up.”

She laughed. “Yes, sir.” And raised her arms.

“Oh, I like that.” He let sensual promise roughen his tone then pulled off the heavy robes and dropped them to the floor. “Will you follow all my orders so easily?”

“Give me another order and we’ll see.”

He held out his hand. “Shoes and stockings.”

Her gaze locked with his as she reached back and slipped off her shoes. She paused to tug off her stockings then tucked them down inside the shoes. “Here you go.”

“What happened to the sir?”

She met his gaze directly, mouth curved in a serene smile. “I’m not in the military, Raylon. I need a life partner, not a commander.”

He’d been in the military his entire life. Giving orders was second nature. He couldn’t change his basic personality and didn’t think that was what she wanted from him. She needed his strength, felt safe in his embrace, but she clearly craved tenderness not aggression.

Taking the shoes from her, he gentled his tone and motioned toward the semi-fitted undergarment. “Now that.” He wasn’t sure what it was called, but the silky material clearly outlined her breasts and the sweet dip of her waist before skimming over her hips.

“Then I’ll be naked.” Her lips twitched, yet he couldn’t feel any anxiety. Was she trying not to smile? “You’re not naked. That doesn’t seem fair.”

“I want you naked, angel. Don’t make me ask again.”

Still kneeling on the bed, she took the hem of her undergarment and pulled it off over her head. Her breasts spilled free, swaying as she handed him her last garment. “Now your pants?” she asked hopefully.

“Not yet, maybe not tonight.” She started to object, but he silenced her with his mouth. Her breasts pressed against his bare chest as he drew her against him. “I’ll try not to command you, but only one of us can be in charge. Which do you want it to be?”

“You. You’re in charge.” She sounded breathless and he was glad, because he’d been panting since she walked into his suite.

“Lie down in the middle of my bed and spread your hair out across my pillows.” He wasn’t sure if it was the directive or the possessiveness woven through his words, but something made her smile and sent desire surging through her emotions.

“You can’t help it, can you?” She crawled into the middle of the bed, giving him a fabulous view of her round little ass. “You say you won’t command me, but the next words out of your mouth are a detailed command.”

“You knew who I was when you came here. Do you want me to pretend?”

“No. I want you. The real you.” She paused to unbraid her hair before lying down on her back. Then she spread her hair around her, covering the pillows and beyond. Her hair was a thing of beauty all by itself, but combined with her pearlescent skin and perfect body, she was stunning. “You’re almost too beautiful to touch.”

She licked her lips, drawing his attention to her mouth. “Emphasis on almost?”

His cock was so hard it was painful, but they had many hurdles to clear before she was ready to take him deep inside her magnificent body. He crawled onto the bed and moved so his knees rested lightly against her side. She’d left her arms raised after spreading her hair and he couldn’t ignore the inherent surrender in the pose. She might not understand the dynamic, but it was her need to let go, to be free, that drew her to such an aggressive man.

“Do you want my touch, angel? Or shall I kiss you instead?”

“Do I have to choose one or the other?”

Again, he wasn’t sure she knew what he’d been asking. He hadn’t meant a blending of mouths. He’d meant something even more erotic. Rather than shocking her with action, he clarified. “Has anyone kissed you here?” He gently cupped her breast.

“Yes.”

She said nothing more, so he slid his hand down along her torso. She looked a bit confused, so he went lower. “What about here?” He eased his hand between her thighs and her eyes rounded to comic proportions. “Apparently not.”

She sat up, looking horribly young and innocent. “Why would you want to… You really want to kiss me there?”

“Gods yes.” He pulled her toward him until they knelt facing each other. “I want to kiss you and taste you and keep right on tasting you until you come around my tongue.”

She gasped, so he kissed her, deeply. The kiss discouraged her words, but didn’t slow her agile mind. “Do you want me to kiss you like that too?”

That shocked him even move. Some men were selfish bastards and never bothered to properly arouse their female, but what sort of man refused the pleasure of his female’s mouth on his cock? “Chandar, you told me you’d had sex before. Did none of your lovers asked for the pleasure of your mouth?”

Shame and guilt dropped down over her expression and he wanted to strangle himself. “Oh, angel.” He pulled her against his chest and stroked her hair. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to take you back there.”

“It’s inevitable.” She eased back far enough to look into his eyes. “But I know it’s not the same thing. I never had sex with any of those men. They used sex to terrorize me. I understand the difference.”

He hadn’t intended to continue the conversation, but she seemed to need things spelled out.

“I thought they only—did that to demean me. It never occurred to me that lovers enjoy doing that for each other.”

Thinking about all she’d suffered filled him with rage. He wanted to find each and every vile bastard who’d hurt her. He’d make them suffer before he killed them. Yet she had already told him she didn’t want him controlled by hate. She was determined to move beyond the darkness and he refused to be an anchor binding her to the past.

He brushed her hair back from her face and kissed her tenderly. “Do you trust me?”

“You know I do.”

“Then let me show you how wonderful it can be.”

She shook her head. “I’m not ready for that. Not yet. Let’s do something less…exotic.”

He didn’t consider oral sex exotic, but he wasn’t about to argue with her. “Then let’s lie down together and touch each other.” He paused for a playful wink. “And I’ll only kiss your mouth.”

They lay on their sides, faces nearly touching. He entwined their legs and pulled her pelvis flush with his.

“This isn’t fair.” She rolled her hips, rubbing against him. “You’re not naked.”

“Too bad.” He curved his fingers around the back of her neck and covered her mouth with his. She parted her lips and greeted his tongue with a swirl of hers. They touched and kissed, exploring each other as their mouths clung and slid. He tried not to think about why they were taking things so slowly, but their empathic link had its disadvantages too. He could no longer hide his thoughts or feelings from her. Anything he wasn’t willing to say, she’d hear in his mind.

It didn’t take her long to react to his anxiety. She eased back and smiled. “This won’t work if we’re both afraid.”

He chuckled. He was brutal, even ruthless at times, but no one ever accused him of being afraid. “I’m not afraid of you.”

“Yes, you are. You’re afraid of upsetting me, afraid of doing something wrong.”

It was hard for a warrior to admit, but she was right. He wanted this to be good so badly, he was afraid.

“Use our link. I won’t just grin and bear it if something frightens me. But you have to understand that reacting to this is unavoidable. I can’t stand for most men to touch me at all.” She guided his hand to her breast. “Clearly, you’re not most men.”

It was ridiculous that she was reassuring him. Every moment he spent with her revealed something new and amazing. “You’re extraordinary.” He’d known the terrified waif he’d carried off the
Relentless
was not the real Chandar. He just hadn’t realized that her true personality was so strong and dynamic.

Supporting her with one arm, he prevented her from rolling onto her back as he bent to her breast. She clutched his shoulders and flashes of uncertainty sparked through her desire. She needed to work through this fear, which meant he had to let her, had to be patient—but not afraid.

He took his time, exploring her velvety skin with his lips and fingers. Her nipple hardened and flushed, clearly anticipating his attention. Happy to oblige, he closed his lips around the needy peak. She pushed her fingers into his hair, her breaths coming faster.

With his mouth gently sucking her nipple, he focused on the emotions passing across their link. There was still a hint of hesitation, but longing built with each beat of her heart. She arched, pushing deeper into his mouth. He sucked harder, gently squeezing the fullness without releasing the sensitive tip. Gods, she was delectable, so lovely she hardly seemed real.

“More.” She gasped. “I need your touch here.” She grabbed his wrist and drew his hand down along her torso, then lower.

He continued the descent even after her fingers released him. She bent her knee and drew her leg up onto his hip. He quickly repositioned, making room between their bodies. She stared into his eyes, her lips starting to tremble.

Rather than kissing her, which was his natural instinct, he stayed back so she could see his face. “Relax, love, and tell me who’s touching you.”

A shaky smile parted her lips. “You are. My hero. My…mate?”

His heart missed a beat as she whispered the precious word. He’d been thinking of her as his mate from the moment he first saw her, but he’d never expected to hear the word pass her lips. “Yes. Oh gods yes.” Unable to halt the impulse, he rewarded her with a lingering kiss, but pulled back again before he touched her. “Your mate is touching you, only your mate.”

She tensed just a little as his fingers brushed her folds. She was hot and slick, which thrilled and surprised him. Occasional darts of fear still disrupted her excitement, but there was no denying her reaction. Chandar wanted him.

With a restless moan, she shifted her hips, making it easier for him to touch her intimately. “In me, please. I want to feel you there.”

His cock bucked against his pants, in complete agreement with her plea. But he ignored the demands of his body and concentrated on her. They had to establish a strong foundation before they moved on to mutual pleasures. Carefully parting her folds, he gently circled her clit. She tensed then groaned and her pleasure rolled across their link. “That’s right. Let it happen.” He repeated the circular motion again and again, their gazes locked and penetrating.

Her hips began to rock and her hands moved to the back of his head. “Kiss me.”

She’d said she needed to see him. Apparently, she needed this more. Her lips were parted and soft as he covered them and her tongue pushed into his mouth before he could deepen the kiss.

He heard the sweetest carnal cry, but the sound registered inside his mind rather than his ears.
Come for me, angel. Let me feel you let go.

A sharp gasp separated their lips and her body tensed. He eased two of his fingers inside her rippling core and prolonged the spasms with his thumb. She cried out again and kept right on coming as his fingers slid in and out. Her hips rocked in counterpoint to the motion of his hand. The rhythmic tightening eased and her gaze returned to his, passion bright and slightly muddled.