Define Me (2 page)

Caitlin

I was so ashamed after what Hunter did to me.  How could I just stand there?  Why did I allow him to embarrass me in front of my friends and even more shocking was Brent stepping in to defend me.  Really a guy I don't even know stands up for me when I can't even do it for myself.  I was such a fool.  

It had been weeks now and Hunter keeps telling me how sorry he was and that he loved me.  I don't know maybe I should just give him/us another chance. 

After graduation, I had agreed to go on vacation with Hunter and his family.  They were well respected in the community and my parents believed I was in good hands. 

The abuse from Hunter's side never really stopped but was always behind closed doors.  My soul was dying little by little with every harsh word, every hard shove.

I hid it well, not even Heather knew of all the abuse that went on. I loved him and I believed him when he said he loved me too.  

It was a vicious cycle of events and I just couldn’t get myself to leave.  I was not sure if it was the fear of what he would do if I left or the fact that I would be alone. 

Within the first week of the holiday, he had started his shit with me, manipulating me to get what he wanted.  On the one hand telling me how much he loved me and couldn’t be without me and then telling me that it was my fault that he did not get into the right university, his life is ruined because of me.  I was ready to pack my bags and go home but his parents already paid for the holiday and according to Hunter the only thing I could really do was to suck it up and do as I was told.

I loved him and would do anything to please him, even if it meant selling my soul to the devil and he was pure evil. 

Ups and downs, just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse and there was no going back he would say how sorry he was and that I should forgive him. He would promise not to speak to me like that again and I would believe him.

The house Hunters that parents had rented for the summer was out of this world.  A double-storey home, the bedrooms downstairs all had a patio that lead to the beach.   Ben and Hunter shared a room and Mia and I got our own rooms, Hunter's parent’s room was upstairs.  

The second week went, well without a hitch; Hunter was trying very hard to make up for the things he said and done to me. 

Every morning just before sunrise I would get up to go for a run to clear my mind and then sit on the soft cool sand watching the sun come up and allow the sound of the ocean to calm me.

I was in a good place
.  Hunter was sweet and gentle like he always was when he wanted something from me.  I was just too happy to have this side of him and blind to see what was behind all this kindness.

He decided it was time for us to seal our love. We were both virgins, or so I thought. I loved him; he was the guy I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Oh and how naive I was. 

After supper Hunter and I went for a “walk”, we made it to the rocks just out of sight of the house, he lay a blanket down for us an then pulled me into his chest. 

He told me how much he loved me, I was the only one he had ever loved and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  We kissed; it was mesmerizing, my fingers twisted in his hair.  He put his left hand on the small of my back pulling me closer, his right hand cupping my breast. 

The world around us disappeared.  Very slowly Hunter pulled my top over my head, next was my board shorts and bikini bottoms.  In the moonlight I could see the lust in his eyes that sent an instant throb between my legs; I was already wet for him. 

I ran my fingers down the front of his chest to the hem of his shirt pulling it up and over his head.  I stood on my toes reaching up to his wet lips. He placed his hands on my hips pulling me closer again. I felt his growing bulge against my stomach.  I slipped my fingers into the waistband of his shorts, pulling it down till it dropped to his ankles; stepping out of it Hunter kicked it aside.  We were both naked; he was perfect in every way, big broad shoulders, rock hard pecks and rippling abs, absolutely sinful. Very slowly Hunter moved his one hand from my hip to my stomach and down to my sex, gently probing, touching, and stroking me. He  had one finger between my folds, in and out, kissing me passionately while slowly increasing the speed.  I could feel my climax building.  I was panting, with my fingers digging into his shoulder.  Next thing I remember was him slipping two fingers into me spreading me and speeding up the tempo, before my mind could catch up with my body I climaxed.  My legs gave way, thank god Hunter was still holding onto my hips. 

“Now you are ready for me”. 

Not even fully calmed from the climax I just had,

Hunter lay down on the blanket and pulled me
into him. I was lying on my back a little scared and a little worried; were we really going to do this?  It was a big step for me as I always said I will wait until the day I was married. I loved Hunter and I would do anything to make him happy, this would make him happy.  With his hand Hunter pushed my legs wide open, he started kissing me, his wet lips on mine, claiming me, owning me, he trailed passionate kisses down my neck stopping on my breasts sucking and biting while his hand softly drew circles on my stomach before cupping my pussy.  I think Hunter realized I was nervous and did a good job of taking my mind off it.  He slipped his one finger into me again, slowly working it in and out  his thumb rubbing my clit.  My climax was building again.  I put my arm over my mouth biting down so that I did not scream. 

"Take your arm away I want to see your face in the moonlight, don't worry no one is going to hear you" 

I lifted my arm and found Hunters blue eyes right above me, hovering.

"Are you sure about this Cat?"

I could not talk, I nodded yes. Hunter gently pushed away from me reaching for something in his shorts.  I heard the rip of paper and saw him rolling a condom onto his rock-hard shaft.  Hunter again spread my legs and settled between them.  Leaning forward he placed his left hand next to my head and with his right hand he found his goal.   Very slowly he slipped into my very tight and wet pussy.  Hunter went very slowly; first just his tip, kissing me distracting me with words of how amazing my tits looked, how tight and velvety my pussy felt around him.  With every thrust moving a little deeper, I could not take his slow tempo anymore and started to move with him increasing the rhythm.  My climax was building again, one last hard thrust from Hunter, a sharp pain and then my climax.  I could feel him stiffening inside me, pulsating inside of me, his eyes closed. Slowly we came down from our climax. He pulled out of me and came to lie next to me. 

I lifted my head so he could slip his arm under my neck.  We lay side by side kissing and talking about us and the future.  I had an overwhelming feeling of love spilling from my heart. I loved this boy and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him I thought I could change him by just loving him. Laying naked in the moonlight was great but a little cold, Hunter cupped my face with his hand and kissed me one last time before we got up, dressed and headed back home. 

We were just in time to meet his parents for a” night cap”. We all went into the kitchen to help with the hot chocolate.  Annie, Hunter’s mom, gave me a strange look, “Darling did you cut yourself, there is blood on your neck?”  Oh shit, we did not even look! I quickly made my way to my room.  My underwear was covered in blood.  Hunter must have transferred the blood when he held my face kissing me.  I took a long hot shower and was getting ready for bed when I heard shouting coming from the kitchen.  I made my way towards the kitchen but was stopped dead in my tracks. 

It was Hunter and his parents.  It was obvious that they had figured out what happened between us.  Being a pastor in the church, sex before marriage was a big NO. What hurt the most were the words I heard out of Hunters mouth; “She seduced me, I didn’t want to do this, she is a whore, it is all her fault”

OMG!!! I thought it was amazing, we loved each other and we would be together for the rest of our lives.  My heart broke into a million shattering pieces, what was I going to do?  I could not phone my parents, my dad would kill me not to mention what he would do to Hunter if he had to find out.  I was between a rock and a hard place.  I locked my door and cried myself to sleep that night. Very early the next morning there was a tap on my door.  What a way to wake up on your 18th birthday, it was by far the worst day of my life!

I was reluctant to open but then I heard Mia’s little voice coming from the other side of the door.  She is Hunters baby sister, she was 5 years old.  As I opened the door she launched herself at my legs.  I bent down to face the little fire I had grown to love over the past year that we have been together.  “Why were you crying? Mommy said I must let you sleep, because you are very sad” I wiped the tears that started rolling down my face, how such a little angel could know the pain I was feeling? 

I picked her up and gave her a big tight hug; she swung her arms around my neck and was squeezing with all her might.  I carried her to my bed and she cuddled next to me.  “I love you Cat, you are my big sister, don’t be sad, I will ask Hun to chase all the baddies away”.  If only she knew the biggest baddie at that moment was Hunter.  A little later Annie knocked on the door letting herself in.  She smiled at us and told Mia that Ben was waiting outside for her to go down to the beach.  Mia looked at me as to ask if I wanted to go with them, I told her I would be there a little later. 

As Mia left the room, Annie closed and locked the door behind her and came to sit on the bed beside me.  All I could hear in my head were Hunters words of betrayal.  I was waiting for her to accuse me of the same.  I was not prepared for what happened next.  Annie took my hand in hers, holding it tight like a mother would do for her own daughter; there was love in her eyes not anger. 

“My darling Caitlin, you must know that we are aware of what happened between you and Hunter last night”.  I didn’t have a voice to answer her so I nodded.

  “It is obvious to me that you were a virgin up until last night, I sincerely hope my son was too” she said with a little frown on her face waiting for me to answer.  “Yes” I whispered.  “As you know we are strongly against sex before marriage, but realise that in this day and age it is very rare that couples wait for their wedding night.  I know you love my son, we can see it but you are very young, at 18 you have your whole life ahead of you, be careful!!"

Did she even realize that I only turned 18 that day?

"I know we can’t stop you two from having sex, but you need to make up your own minds, and all I’m asking is that you have respect for us as parents but not under my roof. Please, please use protection; you don’t want to become a mom at the age of 18”. 

I sat there, tears rolling down my face.  I loved Annie so much.  She wiped my tears way and gave me a hug, then left the room. 

Following my conversation with Annie, I realized I needed to decide what I wanted to do about this situation.  “Do I talk to Hunter about what he said and give him a chance to spin yet another bullshit story? Or do I think like a big girl for once with my head and not my silly heart?”  I got up and got dressed, took my iPod and went for a run.  Karma was trying to tell me something, Tonight I’m getting over you by Carly Rae Jepsen stared playing.   

After my run I got my towel and went for a swim, I spent the rest of the day on the beach reading and playing with Mia. 

It was obvious Hunter could read my mind and he stayed clear of me for the rest of the day.  At lunch time I headed up to the house, as I got close I heard Ben asking Hunter; “Why the hell did you bring her, if this is how you treat her?”

Ben’s words hit me to me core. 

"What? What am I doing wrong?"

"You treat her like shit! What you said to Mom and Dad last night, was bullshit! She is a good girl and God she is hot" 

"Hey! Watch yourself, she is my girlfriend, she belongs to me" 

I did not listen to the rest of the conversation, I decided that I could not stay with Hunter any longer, it was over.  I passed the kitchen and went straight to my room.  I called my mom, told her it was over between Hunter and me. I could almost hear a sigh of relief in her tone, but begged her not to tell Daddy. My mom, arranged for me to fly back home, she phoned Annie to tell her that there had been a family emergency. 

Hunter and Ben went out on the Jet Ski and weren’t there when I left.  I wrote him a note and left it on the kitchen counter.