Defining Moments (6 page)

He stops and turns to face her, but makes no attempt to go to her.

“Good luck with the baby, Julia. I can’t wait to see pictures of her,” he says with as much sincerity as he can muster. He gives her a small smile and climbs into his car. That’s my boy.

I glance back at her and she is smiling and rubbing her ever-expanding belly. Justin waves to her and she blows him a kiss and screams, “Love you, baby, drive safe,” before giggling like a twelve-year-old.

I need a drink.

Justin pulls away in the truck, and then I watch as my baby puts his car in drive, waves at me through the window, and pulls away from the curb. The lump in my throat is huge and I’m trying to wait until I get into the house to break down.

“See you around, Julia,” I say as I walk toward the front door to get away from her as quickly as possible.

“Hey, Ell, wanna grab some lunch?” Julia asks cheerfully.

I must be looking at her like she’s got two heads because she flinches when my eyes meet hers. It dawns on me this is the first time we’ve been alone together. This could go bad quickly.

“First of all, my name is Ellie, not Ell.” I take a breath to try to control the hammering of my heart. “Second, we are not friends, Julia. In case you forgot, you basically ruined my family, slept with my husband, and continually throw your relationship with him in my face. I have
no
desire to have any sort of relationship with you at all.” I watch her face turn red and tears form in her eyes, but I don’t care and can’t stop myself from continuing.

“I put up with you in my life because my children are my world and I am trying like hell to keep their relationship with their father going. Don’t misinterpret my intentions as wanting a relationship with you or Justin, because I don’t. If I never had to see either of you again, I’d be okay with that. But since Justin is their father and you are his whatever,” I throw my hands up, feeling myself getting angrier by the second, “I guess I’ll just have to suffer through having you around.”

I start toward the house, but only make it a few steps before I blow. Spinning around so I’m facing her, I take a few steps toward her and she backs up.

“Also, since we’re on the subject, let me give you a little advice when it comes to my boys. They are trying really hard to like you because you are their sister’s mom. But they are mine and Justin’s children. We raised them together for twenty years, and they have turned into wonderful young men because of that. You do not, in any way, shape, or form, need to try to mother them. It makes them mad. If you want to build a relationship with them, try being their friend. They have a mother and don’t want or need another one,” I snap. Julia has tears running down her face, but she doesn’t look mad. She looks devastated, like everything I just said to her is surprising.

“I’m sorry, Ellie,” she sobs out. “I know we hurt you, and I wish that I could change that, but I can’t.”

I turn to walk away but stop when I hear her say, “You can’t help who you love, Ellie. Justin and I love each other.”

I stop but don’t turn to her because I don’t want her to see the tears that are streaming down my face. “Yeah, he told me he loved me every day for twenty-one years, Julia. You see how well that turned out,” I snarl and then continue walking away from her.

THE REST OF THE
day is a blur. I do everything possible to keep busy, and it isn’t hard because I do have a lot to do. I put a deposit down on a cute little two bedroom, one bath apartment a couple of weeks ago and am actually pretty excited to move into it. There are indoor and outdoor pools, along with a full gym. It’s also on the edge of a park with fantastic hiking trails.

I have two weeks of classes left and I’ll be done with my culinary certificate, and I’ve already started sending out resumes to some of the nicer restaurants close to my new place. I’m really hoping to get a job close, considering it is on the opposite side of the city from where Justin and Julia live. I even applied for a home-cook internship in Rome, Italy just for fun.

Justin decided he’d sell the house and give me half the money from the equity in it. I tried to explain to him I didn’t want it because he was the one who paid the bills since he was the only one who worked. He got pissed and gave me a fifteen-minute lecture on how my job had been to take care of our children and our home and how I had done that for all the years we lived there. He kept telling me I deserved half of it and I was going to take it. I didn’t argue with him after that. He was right.

From what the boys told me, Julia had not been happy he wanted to sell the house. They said she whined for days about it because it was a big beautiful house, it was nearly paid off, and she wanted to live there. Justin told her there was no way he was living in that house again. I’m sure he felt the same way I did about it. Yes, the house held beautiful memories of our children growing up, but it would also be a constant reminder of what we’d lost.

I GET A TEXT FROM
Destry late that night letting me know they made it to Boise just fine and they are staying in a hotel near campus for the night. They’ll unload his stuff tomorrow morning and then Justin will head back. I tell him I love him and how proud I am of him again, and make him promise to call me tomorrow evening once he’s settled into his dorm.

I also get a text from Justin as I’m getting into bed.

Justin: It’s weird that I’m dropping him off at college, Ell. Our baby is a man.

Me: Thank you for driving his stuff there and going with him. Made me breathe a little easier.

Justin: You don’t have to thank me for that.

Me: Have a safe trip back.

I put the phone down and finish getting ready for bed. Now that I know they made it okay, I’ll be able to sleep, especially with the help of the glass of wine I’m currently drinking. I prop the pillows up on the bed so I can sit and read my latest erotic novel. Since our split, I’ve rekindled my love of reading romance novels. Who knew that the fairly-tame romance novels I read as a teenager and young adult had come so far in the past twenty years I was too busy to read. Apparently, I’ve been missing out on a lot.

Just as I’m getting settled into bed with my wine and my book, my phone chimes again.

Justin: Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive me enough for us to be friends again someday?

And just as I finish reading the first text, the phone chimes again.

Justin: I miss you.

I stare at my phone for several minutes before the tears start. Do I miss him? I’m not sure if it’s him I miss or if it’s the normalcy that was our life before. I love Justin; I always have and I probably always will. Now that we are apart, I do like the newness of all the things I’m accomplishing. I like the thrill of knowing I’m trying new things and making something out of my life that is just for me, and not for him or our kids.

Me: Truthfully, I don’t know if I’ll ever get to a point where we can be friends, Justin. What I do know is that you aren’t allowed to tell me you miss me. I wasn’t enough for you, remember? YOU left. You have a fiancé and a baby on the way.

I hit send before I can change my mind. I do miss our friendship. He was my best friend. I understand he misses that. But once again, it wasn’t enough to keep him around. He needed more.

Me: From this point forward, please do not text me unless it has to do with the boys.

A few minutes later, he finally replies.

Justin: You’re right. I’m sorry. Good night, Ell.

I don’t respond.

Ben and Eli are moving into their new apartment on campus next week. With all of them out of the house, Justin will have very little reason to text me directly. That will help.

OVER THE NEXT TWO
weeks, I pack and study. Ben and Eli help as much as they can, but with the class load they are taking over the short summer semester, they’re super busy. On Thursday afternoon, I take my final test and am so thankful to be finished. The longer I don’t see or hear from Justin, the more excited I get for the new path my life is taking.

Saturday morning is show time. The twins arrive at 8 a.m. to load my stuff into their trucks and take it all to my new place. They’ve already moved into their apartment, so the house is already basically bare. Justin and I agreed to give them most of the furniture. I purchased a loveseat, a chair, and a new bed. The boys were horrified that I wasn’t putting a TV in my new place, but I’m not much of a TV watcher and don’t want the extra expense right now. I have an iPad and Netflix if I want to watch a movie. Plus, I bought all new kitchen stuff, and I wanted the good stuff, so the extra money went there.

What the boys and I don’t want, we are leaving behind. Justin told the boys he’d go through what we left, keep what he wants, and give the rest to charity. The house went on the market last week and I’m hoping it sells fast. The less connection I have to Justin, the more free I feel.

We pull up in front of the apartment complex and I instantly notice there is a little sports car parked in one of the spots marked with my apartment number. Not that I need two parking spots normally, but right now I do. Eli backs his truck into the open slot and Ben pulls his truck right in front of Eli’s since there is no other place to park.

The boys spend several minutes chatting about how “kick ass” the car is before I have to get them refocused. They make quick work of unloading Eli’s truck. When that one is finished, Eli moves his truck in front of the car and backs Ben’s truck in to start unloading it. Just as we are finishing up Ben’s truck, I hear the deepest voice ever coming from behind me.

“Hey, sweetheart, you wanna have your man move his truck from in front of my car? That’s not a parking spot.”

I turn quickly, ready to tear this guy’s head off, and stop dead in my tracks as my eyes meet his. Holy mother of God. He is breathtaking. Tall, athletic build, clean-cut dark hair, but I can’t see his eyes because he’s got on shades. He’s dressed in a suit that fits him like it was made for his body. Probably was.

I hear laughter, followed by, “Dude! I’m her kid,” Ben says as he continues to laugh hysterically.

Eli comes out of the apartment and heads our way with a curious look on his face.

“What the hell is so funny?” Eli asks while eyeing up the sports car guy. I watch as he looks back and forth between Ben and Eli, as it registers they’re twins.

“This guy just referred to me as Mom’s ‘man,’” Ben snorts, and Eli starts laughing too.

“You two shut up,” I reprimand them. Turning back toward the arrogant God who stands looking at me curiously, I remove my sunglasses, pressing them into the mop of hair knotted on top.

“I apologize the truck is parked in front of your car, but your car is parked in one of my parking spots and I needed them both today,” I say as sweetly as possible.

He takes in my appearance, which consists of yoga pants, a loose-fitting tank top, and flip-flops. My hair is up in a bun, and I’m not wearing makeup. Give me a break, I’m moving. When his eyes make it up to my face, he finally replies.