Demon Kissed (9 page)

What was that?
My body shivered, as I turned away from him, taking a few paces. I wrapped my arms around my torso, looking over my shoulder at him. His gaze looked anywhere, and everywhere—except at me. We rarely locked eyes. We never touched. And it was because this kind of thing happened. It felt like mind games, but I didn’t want to admit it was more than that.
 

My voice came out gravelly, “Why’d you come here, Collin?” I didn’t look at him.

“You called to me,” he said softly. “I had to come.” He turned, not knowing what to do. I bristled at his unexpected response. Something was bothering me, but I couldn’t really put my finger on it. I liked that he showed up when I needed someone, but I never knew how he did it.
Or how he found me.
Or why he wouldn’t touch me when he found me shattered. Most friends would at least offer a hug. But he didn’t. It felt intentional, like he avoided touching me at all cost. Suddenly the idea was intolerable.

Irritation surged through me. Not knowing how to answer I simply said, “I did not
call you
.”

Collin was silent for a few minutes. He seemed unsure of himself, which was strange for him. I could hear his breathing, slow and deliberate. He made a few false starts and then said, “You should go home, Ivy. Don’t come out here alone. It’s not safe.” Slowly, he turned away from me to leave.

I didn’t move. Staring blankly, tears ran down my cheeks, and a whisper fell out of my mouth, “Nothing is safe. Not anymore.”

Collin stopped and turned, looking at me. His lips parted, like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t.

I felt broken, standing before him, completely exposed. The rawness of it surged through me, making my stomach twist. My gaze avoided his eyes. The air felt thick, and the two of us stood around like we’d done something wrong, though we’d done nothing.

I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to ask,
Why
won’t you touch me?
But I heard my voice ask, “How did you find me?”

His blue eyes held my gaze intently. His lips parted, as I waited for words. But, the only thing that I could hear was his breath escaping from his body. He broke my gaze and ran his fingers though his hair, pushing it away from his face. His skin was smooth and perfect. No scar. But, the Valefar hid it, like my mark was hidden now. Shock flooded me as I realized what I was thinking.
Did I really not trust him? Is that what I think of him?
No, I was paranoid.
I could trust Collin
.

He took a step toward me, but not as close this time. He folded his arms, holding them loosely to his chest. His voice was soft, “Ivy, you called me. You call out to me. I don’t know exactly how I know where you are, but I do. It’s like your spirit calls to me and I can’t ignore it.” My gaze fixated on his mouth as he spoke, “It doesn’t matter where I am, or what I’m doing, or who I’m with… When I hear you,” he paused, “when I hear your distress…
 
I can’t ignore it. It’s like a siren song. I can’t resist it, Ivy. I have to come to you.”

His words penetrated my mind, slinking back into the dark spots that were becoming larger, and untrusting. My skin prickled, as my heart raced. I could feel his eyes on me, waiting for me to look at him again. But I didn’t know what to do. The desperate feeling of wanting to know, without a doubt, that he was normal drowned me. I didn’t know what insanity prompted me to do it, but I did. Taking a step towards him, I closed the gap between us.

Looking up into his face, I said, “Kiss me, Collin.” Vulnerability and doubt lined my thoughts. There was one way to prove it—a kiss. If he kissed me, I would know he was normal.
Just Collin.
If he didn’t, then he was something else. Fear and distrust were warring with the loyalty I felt toward him. I had to know. This was the easiest way to find out.

Collin’s face faltered. His certain stance melted, as he physically pulled back from me, hands rising, so I could see his palms. “Ivy. That’s not … a good idea.”

Fixated, I took a step toward him, watching his confident façade fade away. I could feel the
lub
-dub of my heart deep within me. This would tell me he was normal. I needed him to be Collin.
Nothing more.
Dear God, nothing more
. “You wanted me once. I know you did.”

Collin slid his foot backwards, increasing the distance between us, but his eyes didn’t leave mine. “Ivy now isn’t the best time. I couldn’t take advantage of you when you’re like this.” His foot slid back another step.

My gaze was locked on his unblinking blue eyes. My voice whispered, “Just one kiss.” I took another step toward him, closing the space between us.

He put his hands up in the universal symbol for stop. We didn’t touch. He broke my gaze and looked away. “I can’t. Ivy. I don’t feel like that. I’m sorry.” The answer to my question was staring me in the face. He wasn’t normal. I just didn’t want to admit it. Not yet.

“Collin,” I asked softly, “What
are
you?”

His blue gaze was wide, as he ran his fingers through his hair. “What does
that
mean?” He sounded offended and started to shift away.

I shook my head, “You know what I mean. You don’t touch me.
Ever.
Why not? I know you like me, but you won’t kiss me. I thought it was me, that I wouldn’t let you. All this time, I thought you were respecting my distance. But that’s not it, is it?” My heart raced in my chest. I couldn’t handle another betrayal, and not from him.
Just tell me, Collin.

Smiling his boyish grin, Collin started to say, “Ivy, that’s crazy. We’re just...”

But I didn’t let him finish. Reaching up to his neck, I threaded my fingers through his hair, pulling him to me. Collin’s body went slack in my hands, as I felt him press against me. It felt heavenly, until my hands slid, and touched his skin. An icy hot surge burst into me, traveling through my hand, and into my body like a gigantic static shock. We both jerked, breaking the contact.

Shock was painted across my face, as I looked at my shaking hand, then back at Collin.

His voice was strained, “What the hell was that?” Shaking his head, eyes wide, he continued to move away from me, “That was too much. I can’t be what you need. Ivy, I’m not that guy. I’m not.” He turned away from me, walking in long strides, disappearing beyond the doors at the back of the church and into the night.

Dread filled me as I grabbed my jacket, stuffing the painting under my other arm, and sprinted in the opposite direction. I ran toward the back of the church, and up a dim stairwell. Crashing through the first door I found, I slid into the room, and pushed the door shut behind me. Collin didn’t follow. Not this time. He was gone. And it was my fault. I hadn’t meant to run him off. I just wanted to know why he wouldn’t touch me.

What the hell is wrong with me?
Emotions bubbled into a frothy mix of humiliation and regret. Anger seared through all of it. Collin was one of the only friends I had left, and I screwed it up. Growling in frustration, I turned and hurled the painting at a pile of books. It rolled behind them and out of sight. Sliding my back down the wall, I lowered my butt to the floor, banging my head softly into the wooden shelves behind me. He didn’t want to touch me. The reality crashed into me with a deafening blow.

CHAPTER TEN

School dragged on. My life as a poser Martis proved to be under-whelming during the school day. No one hunted me there. At least, I didn’t think they did. I still wondered who the Seeker was, and how close she was to finding me, but no one stood out as an angelic stalker. My new life was weird, and I was having trouble with it. Learning how to survive, without exposing my secret, made me want to hurl. Putting aside all thoughts of the Martis and Valefar who wanted to kill me, I made it through the day. Somehow, I also managed to avoid the biggest mistake I’d made in years. Collin was conspicuously absent, which meant he cut, or he was avoiding me.
Or both.
Suck
. I didn’t know how to fix it.
 

He
ran
. Like I scared him—like he couldn’t stand the thought of touching me. It was just too messed up. Not having any idea what I would say to him, I was glad he was avoiding me. And it wasn’t like I could tell him the truth, which would sound insane.

Hey Collin, I’m acting like a nut-job because a demon slave tried to rip out my soul the other night, then my best friend attacked me. I felt utterly alone, and you were there, and… well.
It didn’t matter anyway. I couldn’t tell him.

The last bell rang at 2:26pm. Not wanting to go home yet, I slowed my exit, walking with Eric, lost in thought. We pressed through crowds of kids, heading toward my locker. Something told me that I should be cautious of Eric, but right now he was one of the only people I could talk to. It forced a friendship that was based on lies, which made my skin crawl. I hated lying, but I had no choice.

Our conversations got progressively more normal, as my life got stranger. I smiled at him, “I don’t know how you can stand having me as your lab partner. I’m gonna tank our grades.”

We shouldered our way down the hall, through crowds of scattering kids. A light box flickered overhead. Eric had a soft smile on his lips. “Nah, Ivy. It’ll be fine.” Shannon’s warning echoed in my mind, as
He’ll kill you
. I couldn’t see it. That made me either reckless—or retarded.
Probably both.

“You always think everything will be fine,” I said half laughingly. “Seriously, I mutilated our worm and the frog. If the pig wasn’t already dead, I’d feel sorry for him. As it is, I can tell it’s just a train wreck waiting to happen. I’m gonna feel like its Wilbur… or it’ll make me think of ham.” I cringed. “Well, either way, it’s got a C written all over it.”

Eric’s soft steps fell in perfect pace to mine. They matched his sweet, quiet demeanor. “I
am
serious. It’ll be fine.” He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, still smiling, amused.

“The only reason you’re the
other dumb one
,” God help me, I used air quotes for
dumb one
, “is because I suck your lab grades down. I don’t think that’s fair either,” I said looking him square in the face. “You know all this stuff. And I keep messing it up.” Our paces slowed in sync, as I neared my locker. Eric stopped, and touched my arm. Still emotionally raw from my encounter with Collin last night, I flinched. His hand withdrew. Not meaning to shake him off, I reached out for him. My fingers wrapped around his forearm gently, and he paused, looking at me. “Eric, I’m jumpy. That’s all. It’s not you. I swear. What were you going to say?”

I wasn’t interested in Eric. Not like that, but I didn’t want him to think he was gross or something. I wasn’t a touchy feely friend, but I didn’t shirk at my friends’ touch either. I guess I was somewhere in between.

He smiled, nodding, “Nothing, it’s just. Well, I’m going to the diner in a sec. You want to come?”

“Sure, just let me grab my stuff.” I didn’t want to go home yet. I’d be okay, and if Jake showed up, Eric was a good person to be with.

Eric started to say something, but his mouth faltered and snapped shut. His smile faded just as quickly. I looked up to see what caused his abrupt change. My eyes wandered across the groups of kids and landed on my locker. Collin was leaning against it, surrounded by a gaggle of girls. I groaned out loud. Eric sniggered.

Turning to Eric, I asked, “I’ll meet you over there?”

He gave me a look of condolences, and said, “Sure. See
ya
there.” His pace quickened. Eric and Collin glared at each other as he passed. I turned my attention back to my locker. Embarrassment related to last night crept over my skin, making me feel hot. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to see him, mostly, because I had made an idiot out of myself.

I said nothing, and opened my locker. Collin watched me. I tossed my bio book into the bottom, and then stood on my toes to sift through the crap at the top. My math book was up there.
Somewhere.
Not finding it, I lowered my heels to the floor.
Ugh. It must be down bottom
. The bottom of my locker looked like a ski hill made of paper, books, and the occasional
Spork
. I crouched down to sift through the pile, squatting, wishing I could leave without it.