Denial (17 page)

“Isaac…” My apprehension is audible.

“Do you have to be so fucking adorable when you’re nervous? Relax.” The hungry voice becomes soothing. I order my muscles to loosen and he hugs me, one gloved hand skidding over the skin of my belly.

He thrusts deeply, startling me, grabbing my hair forcefully and turning my head far to the side so that have to look at him. He blows me a kiss and starts pounding me again, the perfect depth and rhythm, letting my head fall forward. His fingers linger, spiraling up and down from the goose bumped skin of my neck nearly to the crown of my head. I’m lost in the sensation when his gloved finger starts circling my clit. He brings me to the brink again before leaving and I hear the sound of a bottle cap opening. His thrusting slows and his hands are gone for a moment.

I jerk as his bare finger reunites with my clit. “Shhhh. Maya, relax.” Now he’s fucking me again and I’m getting closer but I know something’s coming and it isn’t just going to be me. Something firm and slippery tickles my anus. “Is this a sensitive area for you?” I squeeze my eyes shut as heat rushes to my face but it quickly becomes surprisingly pleasurable. I groan loudly, dropping to my elbows and hiding my face in the bed. “I thought it would be. Just let go. I’ll catch you.” I relax, sinking back against his thighs. It’s such an odd sensation as he circles the opening and my clit simultaneously while pumping into me harder. Holy shit. This is incredible.

Each thrust pushes into me deeper as my breaths turn into moans while his get heavier. He seems to be enjoying this nearly as much as I am. I feel myself yielding and opening to his demands as he presses his gloved finger against me a bit more forcefully. I know he won’t going any further than the tip but I almost want him too because it feels incredible.

“You are so fucking hot,” he growls, screwing me faster. He has to stop when I start thrashing and screaming, my fingers digging into the sheets. This climax is different than any other, there’s a primal layer to it that I’ve never experienced. It’s not better than the first one he gave me but it’s something that I definitely want him to give me again.

Chest heaving, I go limp, my cheeks flushing as embarrassment rears its ugly head. I can’t believe how much I liked that. His arm slides between my breasts
. lifting me until I’m upright in his lap, straddling his legs with my back pressed against his chest, my body weight pushing him deep inside of me. His hand encircles my throat, his nose and lips dragging up my shoulder and neck until he’s breathing heat into my ear.

“Are you okay?” His voice is quaking with lust.

“Yes,” I whisper, totally limp in his grasp.

“You liked that, didn’t you?” It’s halfway between a question and a mildly arrogant observation.

“I did.” I start to shift but his arms immobilize me.

“Don’t move. I’ll fucking explode.”

“So you liked it too?”

“You have no idea.” That. Voice. He brushes my hair over my shoulder so he can kiss the back of my neck. I shudder as the hand on my throat slides upwards until his fingers are toying with my lips. “I need to kiss you again,” he whispers. I part my lips and take his fingers into my mouth.

He lets out a frustrated growl and pulls out of me. His hands are on my waist and hips, whirling me around until he’s back inside of me, but I’m straddling him face to face, his tongue forcing its way deep inside my mouth as his hands make fists in my hair. I can feel how much he wants me. It’s such a desperate, hungry kiss. And somehow, I’m on fire again. I swear he slipped something in my drink.

“I want to come in your mouth.”
Okay.
“I can’t wait to fuck your tits.”
Why do you like them so much?
“I want every part of you so fucking bad it hurts. We are going to have so much fun.” I can’t answer him because his tongue won’t let go of mine.

He’s muttering about how to use safety gestures when he fucks my mouth, but I’m so excited I can barely pay attention. All I know is that he wants me badly and I can’t wait. I’m so wet. Very, very wet and I just keep getting wetter. Too wet in fact. Isaac groans. Oh shit. This did not just happen. Did I seriously just pee on him? How mortifying. No no no no no! I want to disappear. He looks like he’s grinning as I break away from him but I know he won’t be for long. My head sinks into my hands. I know he’s nice and all but this would test anyone’s patience.

“Maya?” He tries to lift my chin but I won’t let him.

“I’m sorry,” I peep. How did the best night of my life just turn into the worst?

“For what?” I try to crawl off of him, but his grip on my hips won’t allow it. “Maya,” he chuckles. “It’s fine, I don’t care.”

My head jerks up. The cocky look on his face evaporates and is replaced with concern. “Seriously?” Maybe this happens all the time. Oh, yuck. Maybe he’s into that sort of thing.

“Of course not. It’s hot.” Gross. I guess nobody’s as perfect as they seem.

“Sorry, I’m just not into that.”

“Obviously you are.” Oh my God, could this get any worse? “You just squirted all over my legs.”

Squirted. I’ve heard of that before. Piper apparently does it all the time, but I never have. Somehow I was picturing a lot less liquid. This was more like a flood.
And I thought it only happened when you came. “Are you sure that’s what it was?”

He laughs, dragging his finger between our thighs and bringing it to his mouth. Locking eyes with me, he tastes it, rolling his lips like he’s savoring something delicious. “Positive.”

He would know, I guess, but I’m still a bit shaken. “Okay,” I peep.

“Wait a second. Is that the first time you’ve ever done that?” I nod, dropping my chin and looking up through my eyelashes. “You’re serious?”
I nod at him sheepishly.
Don’t make this more embarrassing than it already is
. His breathing gets heavier and I feel him swell up inside of me. “Holy fuck.” He tosses me onto my back, never withdrawing, and now I’m crushed beneath him as his mouth claims mine. “Forget about that whole mouth fucking thing.” He kisses me again. “I’ll never make it now.”

“Why not?”

“Because I was the first one,” he pants. He’s holding me so tightly again.

“Isaac…” I murmur between kisses.

“I love the way you say my name.” He’s groaning and grunting, finding his release inside of me as I trace my fingers through his hair. His eyes are open the entire time, watching me watch him. He’s so gorgeous when he comes. He doesn’t give himself any time to recover before his lips are on mine. It’s snuggly again. This is almost as good as the sex, but not quite. I giggle as he rolls my body on top of his.

“Why can’t…” His tongue is in my mouth. “I..” A peck. “Stop.” Tongue again, along with a little hair pulling. “Kissing you?” He pulls me away and looks into my eyes before we’re right back where we started.

I don’t have an answer for him and even if I did, our mouths won’t separate long enough for me to give it. I can’t stop either.

We moan, fondle, and cling to each other. It’s all thrusting, giggling, and writhing. And kissing. So much kissing. Everywhere. He twists and turns me any way that he wants me. My body does whatever he asks and I love it. So many tricks. It doesn’t take him long to figure out what to say to me that makes me squirt for him and he really likes it when I do. He still wants to fuck my mouth but we can’t stop kissing long enough to get through that important safety first talk that he’s so adamant about so he just gives up and lets me do it my way. I doubt there is an official record for multiple orgasms, but if there is, I’m pretty sure we shattered it.

The sun is coming up, the soft light cutting through the darkness. Isaac finishes, I’m not sure what number we’re on for him, it’s all such a blur when I surrender to his grasp. I don’t want this to be the last time I watch him come apart in my arms.

My lips feel swollen when he kisses me. “Okay, that is it,” he laughs. I groan. “Seriously, I am tapped out, Maya. And I’ve never honestly said that before.”

“Oh, really,” I tease. He does look exhausted. “Yeah, I’m out of juice too.”

He smirks mischievously at me. “I could get you to do it again. I don’t even have to touch you.” He’s right. I kiss him, giggling in surprise as my body lifts into the air. My legs wrap around his waist as he holds me firmly in his arms. “We have completely trashed this bed
,” he says smugly. I turn my head to look at it. Right again.

“It’s a good thing we have another one,” I taunt him as he carries me into the hallway.

“To
sleep
in.” He tosses me onto the cozy bed in question. It’s so dry.

I want to argue for the sake of arguing, but instead I yawn and stretch out my arms to him. He grins and climbs into bed beside me. It’s too hot to get under the covers. We’re face to face and I want to kiss him again, but I don’t have the energy to move. He must though, because he gives me one more, stroking my face and hair. I’m drifting off. I want to keep looking at him but my eyes won’t stay open. It’s just as well, because I’m sure he’s exhausted and I think the reason he’s watching me is to make sure I go first. That is becoming a pattern. I feel his lips traveling around my face as I fade away.

1
4

It’s so bright out. Probably because it’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon. Shit. There goes the morning workout, and teaching her how to make the perfect fried egg.
I could not have fucked this up more if I tried.

Maya is almost as cute when she’s sleeping as she is when she’s awake. We seriously messed up her hair. I have to stop myself from touching it. I don’t want her to wake up. Well, actually, I’d love to see her eyes pop open and her lips smile and feel her touch me again. I’d wrap my arms around her and kiss her. My lips tingle just thinking about it. Hers are all puffy and red. That is so fucking sexy. But I need a few minutes to get myself together.

I can’t believe that happened. What the fuck was I thinking? How the hell am I going to do this now? I’m won’t be able to look at her that way, and I’m sure as shit not going to be able to push her around like Luke wants me to. And there’s no way I’ll be able to… I can’t even think about it. That fucking prick. I thought I hated him before but now… Fuck! He’s such an asshole. How did she fall for his bullshit?

This is not the bathroom. I just opened the door to the playroom and I’m looking at all of the toys I’ll get to use on her. Oh, Maya, this could be fun. I think she’ll like that. And those. Oh, she’ll definitely like those. She freaked out when I tied her up and blindfolded her though. I felt like such a piece of shit. Probably because I am. But it made her angry with
Luke and I won’t let my mind wander to why. I already know. It makes me fucking sick.

Here’s the bench I’m going to tie her too. Normally I’d be looking forward to it, and I am for this one thing, oh, and that too, but the rest of it... she’s going to hate it. And she’s going to hate me. Maybe it will work out and she’ll end up hating him too, but I’ll be the one actually doing it. She won’t look at me the same way.

I’m totally getting ahead of myself. She might have looked like she cared about me last night but how could she? Maybe that’s just how normal people communicate with each other. I can’t read too much into it, because this is just going to be harder. But the way she kissed me. Touched me. Is that just part of casual sex for normal people? It probably is. I don’t give a shit if it was meaningless, I don’t care if she didn’t feel anything. I want her to touch me like that again. I want to feel that way again. I can’t wait to fuck her. Kiss her, feel her lips on mine. She seemed to like it a lot when I held her but she couldn’t have enjoyed it nearly as much as I did. But there’s no fucking way it’s going to happen again. And I better stop thinking about it before I get too pissed off.

I’m standing in the doorway watching her sleep. She doesn’t look chilly but maybe I should cover her with a sheet. I have no idea what I’m doing here.
Please don’t wake up yet
. If I don’t stop looking at her soon I’m going to start touching her again and that will only confuse her more. I don’t think that it is possible for me to be any more confused.

Maya is going to wake up soon. She’ll probably be as hungry as I am. I should have fed her more at dinner, I didn’t know we were going to be so… active afterwards. My stomach is doing this weird flip floppy thing. It was so perfect.

She was not as innocent as I thought she was, which worked out well because I completely lost it a few times. I didn’t know my body could do that. Come to think of it, I guess we didn’t miss our morning workout because I am sore all over. Shit, is she? Did I hurt her? If my dick feels like this, what the hell did I do to her? 

I need to check on her and I’m still so fucking tired, but I can’t let myself crawl back in that bed. If I did I could hold her, she could wake up in my arms. That might be what she wants. I hope it is, but it would be better if it weren’t. Because I can’t give it to her.

I can give her breakfast, though, err brunch. It’s a little too early for brinner. I don’t even know what she likes. Everybody likes bacon, right? I can’t let her eat too much of it, Luke wants her to lose five more pounds. Prick. She’s fucking perfect as it is. Hell, maybe a little too thin, cuz she was a bit fleshier in those pictures. She looked happier too. I wonder how long ago they were taken and what he’s done since then that hurt her. What a fucking asshole. I thought I hated him before.