Denver (34 page)

“Hattie, I need you. I know I can’t undo what I did, but we’re both getting older. Is this the way you want to spend our last years?”

Her throat tightened as she looked at him, and tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn’t give him an answer. She felt torn, for once in her life, caught in dreadful indecision.

He framed her face with large callused hands that she knew so well. “Hattie, you’re my woman. I need you,” he said hoarsely, his eyes growing red. “Even if you can’t forget or forgive me, maybe you could forgive me enough to come back. When the memories make things too difficult for you, go away for a while, but come back for part of the time. Give me a chance.” His eyes filled with tears. “I can’t live without you. I don’t want to be without you.”

She wrapped her arms around him and cried. Instantly his strong arms enfolded her, crushing her to him while he poured out his love in a husky voice. He turned her face up to his and kissed her. She tasted salty tears and didn’t know whether they were hers or his, or both, and it was wonderful to be in his arms again. Past hurts wouldn’t vanish, but she needed Javier and she knew how much she had missed him.

She leaned back to look at him and he picked her up as easily as if she were a young girl and moved down the hall to his room which was in a separate wing from the other bedrooms. He carried her to the bed and went back to light the lamp and close the door. He moved to the bed to look down at her.

“Hattie, it’s been so long. It’s like you tore out my heart and took it with you,” he said, unfastening his
shirt and pulling it over his head. His body was hard and muscular as always, and her heart pounded as he stretched out beside her to pull her into his arms. “When it gets bad and your anger returns—I know it will—you tell me.”

She nodded, feeling tears threatening again. She closed her eyes, leaning the last few inches to kiss him. Deep within her she knew that her anger would seldom return because it was such a senseless waste.

Dan moved closer to the door, his Colt ready, when he heard a bird’s whistle.

“Mary!” came a faint call from the other side of the door.

“It’s Brian,” he said over his shoulder, holstering his Colt and unbarring the door to open it while Mary disappeared behind the blankets to dress. Ta-ne-haddle entered, followed by Brian. Dan closed and barred the door behind them, then turned to hug Ta-ne-haddle while Brian crossed the room to Michael’s bedside.

“Thanks for coming,” Dan said. “I thought you might keep Michael from getting scarred. He’s still running a fever, and some of his cuts are infected. Come meet Mary.” Dan shook hands with Brian as Mary appeared and hugged her brother.

“Mary, this is Ta-ne-haddle, Luke’s friend. This is Mary O’Malley. I see you found Brian.”

“How is he, Mary?” Brian asked.

“He’s feverish and weak. Sometimes he doesn’t sleep quietly, other times he does. He’s been up with Dan’s help.”

“Let me look at him. Brian, why don’t you help me change his bandages,” Ta-ne-haddle said.

“You want to wake him?”

Ta-ne-haddle nodded. “I’ll give him something that’ll make him go back to sleep. I saw Doc Felton before we left Denver.”

“I’ll get clean rags for the bandages,” Mary said, and for the next half-hour everyone in the cabin was
occupied. Dan built up the fire and made beds ready while Mary brewed coffee and heated the stew. She knew Brian would be hungry no matter how recently he had eaten. She glanced at the men as they worked over Michael. Ta-ne-haddle had him sitting up on the side of the bed while he smoothed some kind of ointment on Michael’s wounds, and her hopes increased that he would be better soon.

Michael settled to sleep while Ta-ne-haddle and Brian ate. As they talked softly to avoid disturbing Michael, Ta-ne-haddle told Dan family news.

“When I left, Hattie planned to go home with April and Noah.”

“Oh?” Dan asked, and Mary heard the hope in his voice.

“April wrote Javier that Hattie would come home with them.”

“Do you know if Pa is going to Albuquerque?”

“No, I don’t. The young’uns are growing.” While they talked, Brian sat warming his feet at the fire and sipping brandy Dan had poured. Mary sat between Brian and Dan, all four of them in a semicircle in front of the fire. While the men talked, Dan reached over to rest his hand on the back of Mary’s chair, and within a few minutes she felt him wind a curl of her hair in his fingers. She didn’t turn around to look at him, and wondered if he was even aware of what he was doing. Once while he was talking, she studied him. She felt a yearning for him every time she looked at him, and was relieved that they would no longer be isolated. Yet, those same thoughts made her sorry too. Her thoughts were in a constant turmoil and now questions haunted her about her feelings for Silas.

“How’d you find Brian?”

“It wasn’t difficult,” Ta-ne-haddle said dryly. “He had started here and I caught up with him.”

“When did you get my message, Brian?”

“Henry had sent me to take a team of horses to Silver City. I just got back and got your message. I went to see Doc Felton, talked to Pa, and started out
here. Ta-ne-haddle caught up with me only about two hours out of Denver.”

“I might as well warn you,” Dan said,” we have a bit of trouble here.” He told them about the prospectors, his fingers slipping beneath Mary’s thick fall of hair and kneading her shoulder lightly. His touches were casual, yet she was intensely aware of them. His voice was deep and mellow, and she wished things were different. As swiftly as the idea had come, she rejected it. Silas would come home and marry her. And Dan was about to be engaged to one of the most beautiful women in the territory. Even if she were as free as a bird, Mary knew it wouldn’t change his feelings. She wasn’t beautiful, and she wasn’t a part of Denver society, and Mary had known Dan long enough to realize this was important to him.

The time she had known Silas seemed like something that had occurred in her girlhood, a long time ago. Dan attracted her in a manner that Silas never had, and it disturbed her, making her question her future. She wanted marriage and babies more than anything else, but she didn’t want to marry for the wrong reasons. And she realized she would never be as important to Silas as she would like to be to her husband. He wouldn’t have left her for years without a word if she were important to him.

“Seems as if Miss Shumacher might be getting a little irate about your helping my brother all this time,” Brian said, startling Mary, since that was the line of her thinking. To her surprise, Dan’s face flushed.

“I’ll have to explain to her when I get back. How do you think we’ll be able to get Michael out of here, Ta-ne-haddle?”

The subject was changed, and Mary basked in the warm firelight, happy to have Dan beside her and wanting to be closer, to have more than his hand occasionally brushing her shoulders or her back.

“Brian brought a wagon,” Ta-ne-haddle said. “It’s about half a mile from here.”

“You came the rest of the way on foot?” Dan asked,
and they nodded. “When can we move Michael home?”

“We may be able to tomorrow,” Ta-ne-haddle said. “The sooner you get out of here and back to Denver, the better off you’ll be.”

“I’m going to bed now,” Mary said, telling the men good night, and meeting Dan’s gaze, which seemed intense and questioning.

“I’m exhausted,” Brian said.

“Go sleep. I’ll listen for Michael,” Dan offered. Brian stretched out on the bed nearest Michael, and within minutes was softly snoring.

Mary slid beneath the covers and listened to the low murmur of the men’s voices, thinking constantly about Dan. Without warning, hot tears flooded her eyes and she turned over to bury her face in her pillow because she faced the fact that it wasn’t Silas she loved, it was Dan.

While Dan listened to Ta-ne-haddle talk about Luke’s boys, he thought he heard a noise from Mary’s direction. It sounded like a moan. He turned and glanced toward the dark corner where she should be sleeping.

“Just a minute,” he said to Ta-ne-haddle. “Mary? Are you all right?”

He waited, and when there was no answer, he shrugged. “She must be asleep. I thought I heard a noise. Sorry, go ahead.”

“I can talk about the little ones until the new moon rises. And to a bachelor, that’s a tiresome subject. How much trouble do you expect when we leave?” Ta-ne-haddle asked.

“I recognized one of the men here, and I think it’s only a matter of time until he recognizes me. If he knows there’s a price on my head, which I’m sure he will, he’ll want me all to himself. There are too many in camp for it to be profitable for him to share the reward money. I think he’ll come after me if he thinks I’m alone with Michael and Mary.”

“No one knows we’re here.”

“Brian can get the wagon and ride in here. We can load Michael on the wagon, and Brian and Mary can ride with him. I’ll drop behind to follow, and they’ll think I’m alone, bringing up the rear.”

Ta-ne-haddle nodded. “I think it’s best. I think we can move him tomorrow. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve been sleeping in the saddle for several nights now.” He moved to a bed while Dan put another log on the fire.

Dan stretched out to sleep on blankets on the floor. He knew he would have to be alert for the ride home. He expected trouble and was thankful to have Brian and Ta-ne-haddle along. He gazed at Mary’s corner, trying to bank a nagging sense of loss when he thought of returning to Denver.

At dawn, Brian slipped away only to arrive back midmorning with the wagon. Ta-ne-haddle had left before dawn and agreed to wait along the trail for Dan. Mary was self-conscious and constrained around Dan and he too was keenly aware they would part and their lives would go separate ways.

To everyone’s relief, Michael seemed better. Mary was at his side instantly when he stirred. Dan helped him outside, noticing that Michael was able to bear his own weight now and needed Dan only to steady him. He ate better and sat up in bed, listening to them talk about riding back to Denver.

He looked from Mary to Dan. “You two have taken good care of me.” His attention focused on Dan. “You must have been a damn close friend of Silas’.”

Dan felt his face flush and wondered how much Michael had heard pass between Mary and him. “He saved my life.”

“And Dan saved his,” Mary added solemnly, her face as flushed as Dan’s. Neither Michael nor Brian seemed to notice.

“There’s a Kiowa going to ride with us?” Michael asked.

“Yes,” Mary answered, “but your friends don’t know it. Michael, we had trouble with them.”

He swore and asked, “Which one? Sorghum?”

“Yes, but forget it now,” Dan said. “You’re in no shape to confront even an angry dog, much less someone like Sorghum.”

“Give me my Henry. I can still sit up and shoot.”

“And you might have to on the ride home. How good a friend is he to you?”

“Not at all, but we leave each other alone. He knows not to tangle with me, and he should know what I’ll do to him when I get well.”

“I’m not so sure they expect you to get well,” Mary said quietly.

“I’m going to,” Michael said with a stubborn thrust of his jaw that was becoming familiar to Dan. He had witnessed it in every O’Malley now.

“We’ll load the wagon,” Dan said, shouldering bundles and provisions. “Mary, you keep an eye toward the camp. I expect some of them to come soon, because they can see the wagon. Jethro will come to say good-bye.”

“Jethro is my friend,” Michael said.

Brian and Dan began to load the wagon, and in minutes Dan saw Jethro and two more men headed toward him. “Here they come.”

He introduced them to Brian, and as he watched, he suddenly had a feeling they knew Brian. He felt like these were men who had talked before, and he sensed a charged feeling between Brian and Donner. Donner avoided Brian’s eyes, shaking hands with him without once facing him directly, while Brian studied Donner with a look that should have sent the man fleeing for cover.

“You can go in and see Michael before we leave if you want,” Dan said, watching Donner.

“You fellows go ahead. I wouldn’t want to tire him. I’m going back to the camp. Wish you folks a good trip,” he said, and turned to stride away, glancing back once over his shoulder. Brian was scowling at him, and Dan’s suspicions became stronger. “You better go inside and make sure your brother doesn’t lose his temper. Jethro hasn’t caused any trouble, and it won’t do Michael any good to get worked up.”

“Yeah. I’d like to get my hands on Sorghum.”

“Now’s not the time,” Dan said firmly. “Not with Mary along and Michael hurt.”

“Yeah, I know,” Brian said with reluctance, and went inside. Donner continued to glance over his shoulder and then broke into a lope, disappearing into a cabin. Dan would stake all he had that the O’Malley boys were involved in something that was going to hurt Mary. He felt angry that she had to struggle with them.

Within a quarter of an hour they loaded the wagon. Michael was stretched on skins and blankets in the bed of the wagon, and Brian held the reins. Dan went back inside the cabin to get Mary.

“They’re waiting,” he said, pausing a few feet from her. She stood beside her bed, clothing in her hands, her hair wound in braids. He felt as if they were saying good-bye forever to something that had happened between them.

“I’m ready,” she said without moving. Her heart beat swiftly as she watched him, studying him intently, knowing she would see him less and less after this day, knowing she would return to Denver to watch him become engaged and marry Louisa Shumacher, and knowing she loved him.
I love you
, was all she could think as she looked into his eyes. His expression changed, and tension grew between them into a pull that was strong. It held them both immobile and silent.

Dan reached out slowly and stroked her cheek. “Let’s go, Mary,” he said, his voice husky.

She nodded and moved quickly past him, turning at the door to look back once and remember where she had stood in his arms and how Dan had kissed her. She glanced up to see him watching her with a stormy expression that looked as if he knew exactly what she was thinking.