Desire (26 page)

“Oh. Wow. I’m a little retroactively pissed off at him for that one.”

“That’s okay,” he says, but it bothers him. I shouldn’t have said that out loud. “Why did you say he loved her?”

“Because that’s what he tells her
when he texts her all the time. I tried to make myself feel better by thinking it was just to get her in bed. Maybe they’ll get back together.”

“That’s
what I’m hoping will happen. They are… compatible.”

“Good. Because we’re not and it really is over for me, Isaac. Completely.”

“I believe you.”

“But
I don’t want you to kill him,” I say sternly. “Not for his benefit. For yours. That’s going to change you, even if it’s him.”

“I
will be fucking fine, believe me.”

“Isaac. No, you won’t. And you know I’m right, I can see it on your face.”

“I could handle it, but it’s a last resort. It’s not worth the risk.”

“Isaac…”

“Drop it, Maya. This conversation has been fucked up enough as it is.”

“So will you
stay tonight?”

“Yes. Can I
please touch you now, not in some weird territorial way, just… us?”

“Yeah,” I reply, stretching my arms out. Without hesitation, he pulls me into his lap. We kiss each other everywhere. I was so afraid I’d never get to do this again.
“Is that why you’ve been gone for two days?”

“You know it is.”

He is hard as a rock and I want him so bad, but he won’t. It’s probably for the best anyway, I’m still a bit shaken up. Making out is pretty hot when it can’t go anywhere. Isaac holds me so closely, taking cuddling to a new, very aggressive level. He still wants me. I’ll always be his and he’ll always be mine, no matter what.

25

Isaac

I pretend to be asleep myself for almost a half an hour before Maya finally drifts off, her little hand loosening its grip on mine as her breathing slows. She’s so fucking cute when she’s asleep. I can’t believe I deprived myself of her presence just because I was scared to hurt her. Maybe I should give my
self a little more credit. All it did was torture her for two days and rattle me to the point that I almost fucked up and told her I had people watching her.

The nocturnal fur ball scratches at her closed bedroom door and yowls, giving me a perfect excuse to quietly get out of bed.

“Shhhh.” This cat purrs so loudly you can hear it through the entire house, it cracks me up every time. I guess I’ll just sit here in the dark on the couch. I can’t sleep, I just keep hearing what she told me, picturing it. At least AJ is good company and I sink my hand into a four inch layer of fuzz until I finally hit cat.
You are really tiny under all of this fur, aren’t you?
She meows in response like she can hear me.

That fucking prick raped her when she was
fourteen years old. He is extremely fucking lucky Maya specifically told me not to kill him, because that is exactly what I’d be plotting right now. It’s the easiest way out of this suddenly much more complicated situation. No wonder she didn’t want to tell me, she probably doesn’t want to think about it herself. There is no way he’s letting her go that easily. If he’s waited years before, he’ll keep fucking waiting. Nerdy fucking t-shirts aren’t going to do
shit
. Luke is in this for the long haul.

My options are
so limited now. The only thing I can come up with is Christina, which means I have to start answering her fucking phone calls. Maya will be devastated if she finds out I’m talking to her. I’m so glad I never fucked her when I had the chance, that would make this so much worse. I guess I shouldn’t feel like a total bastard helping her get Luke back, but it’s like I’m sending her off to her death. She’d go after him anyway, though, and better her than Maya.

But I don’t think Crissy has it in her to hold his interest outside of bed. The best advice I can give her is to hook up with one of Luke’s frenemies to make him
territorial. But who? Someone that will piss him off enough to make him jealous, but whose appeal isn’t great enough to make her hang on to him if he actually wants to keep her. Maybe Peter. Yeah, that could work, I don’t think he’s seeing anyone seriously now. She’s not quite his type, but with a few adjustments she’ll be close enough and if she comes on to him, he’ll go for it just to piss off Luke. That will get his fucking attention. Pete’s a little too soft core for her tastes, she’ll leave him for Luke in a heartbeat.

Okay. That’s a good plan of attack, I feel a little better now
even though I’m probably kidding myself. One fucking day at a time. I raise my arms over my head and stretch, inspiring Junior to leap from my lap to the top of the TV stand.
You are not supposed to be up there!
She listens about as well as her mothers, locking eyes with me as she flops on her side against a pile of books. Piper’s key ring dangles off the edge, dangerously close to shattering the peaceful silence.

A
photo of the disobedient feline’s namesake catches my eye as I gently extricate her from the unauthorized perch. Maya never talks about Ashlyn and I don’t want to push her. There’s another picture of the three of them a few inches away. They all have wet hair and there’s a large house with three decks in the background. The lake house. That’s where this all started. Hell, this could have been taken on the very day, they look around fifteen. Ashlyn even looks a bit older, but she couldn’t be. Her eyes are almost as mischievous as Piper’s, I bet they got Maya into so much trouble. Maya’s eyes look sad, her smile a little forced. It already happened. I can see it on her face.

“Isaac?” she squeaks from behind me
. My head whips around to find her standing in the doorway. “Are you leaving?”

“No,” I whisper. She sighs in relief. “Your cat was scratching the door.”

“I leave it cracked when you’re not here.” She sounds a little shaken.

“Did you have a nightmare?” She doesn’t answer, just drops her chin and looks at the floor. She did. And I wasn’t there. Just like I haven’t been there for the last two nights because I’m a
n insanely jealous asshole that can’t control his dick when his ego takes a hit. “Hey. Come here.”

I hold out my arms and meet her halfway. Making this pathetic sound that shreds me, she hides her face in my chest as her
trembling arms wrap around my ribs. She’s been so fucking strong lately, I hadn’t seen her cry for a while before tonight. But obviously she’s just keeping it inside of her. My little Rookie’s still hanging by a thread. I scoop her into my arms and carry her back to bed as she kisses the faded bite mark on my shoulder, closing the door with my foot much to AJ’s dismay.

“I don’t want to go back to sleep,” she squeaks.

“That’s alright, I’ll stay up with you.” I lean against the dozens of pillows she keeps propped up on the headboard, keeping her in my lap and covering us with her oversized comforter. There is no place I would rather be than right here. “It was a bad one, huh?” I ask. She nods against my shoulder and I kiss the top of her head. “It’s okay, he’s not going to hurt you.”

“It wasn’t about him. I dreamt that you were still mad and you didn’t want me anymore.”

I wrap my arms around her tighter. Gee, where’d she get that idea? Couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that you fucking abandoned her for almost three days. “That is never going to happen.”

“I’m really sorry, Isaac,
” she murmurs, her lips quivering against my skin.

“I know
. It’s okay,” I assure her.

There is nothing she could do that would actually make me leave her. She could fuck around on me and I would probably
just kill the guy before I tie her up, make her pay for it, and hate myself afterwards. I doubt I’d even have it in me to cheat back. And if she tried to leave me, I would totally turn into one of those creepy stalkers that girls need a restraining order against. But I don’t tell her this even though she would probably just giggle at me. I still can’t say that fucked up shit out loud.

Her body is just too warm, too soft, too close. And she wants me, her little fingers unable to help themselves as they slide under my waistband. She tells me she needs it to know
that we’re really okay, so I give it to her. I can’t fucking refuse her, all she has to do is whine a little and I don’t have a choice. But I don’t get carried away, I can’t, not when her eyes look this scared, when her arms can’t let go, when her voice shakes and she hides her face. She’s just too sweet, too needy. That possessive maniac inside me steps back so I can twist her body into mine and make her feel safe.

26

Jace

Isaac is coming over early. Great. He hasn’t seen Maya in
almost a week, so he’s bound to be in a fantastic fucking mood. I keep the video feed on for as long as I can to watch Piper get ready to go out. With me.

“You say a fucking word and you’re off the team,” I
snap.

“Okay, first of all, I basically
am
the team,” Oliver reminds me. He’s not wrong. My other guys can’t work alone yet, I don’t trust them. “And second, why the hell would I tell him? I like this job.”

How he suffers through over 100 hours a week of sheer boredom and is completely fine with it, I will never understand. Oliver leans back into his chair and starts eating popcorn. “You are going to enjoy watching me squirm, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” he replies with a laugh. “What the hell were you thinking? All she has to do is say your name and you are totally busted.”

“Dude… I don’t know.
Technically
, he said not to fuck her.”

“Try explaining tha
t to him. Because the boss is hoooome,” he taunts me.

“Hey,” Isaac says as he walks through the door, the aroma of whatever the hell fantastic food he brought
us making my mouth water.

“Hi,” I nod back, my pulse
increasing as he takes a seat, glancing at the blank monitor. Isaac actually attempts to keep it off when he’s here. He fails every single time as soon as Maya walks in the door and he hears her voice, but he feels like shit afterwards. I don’t even try. I watch Piper constantly.

“Anything weird happen?”
he asks.

“Of course not, we would have told you.”

“Did Luke call Maya again?”

“Don’t think so,” Oliver pipes in, his mouth full. “But last night it rang for a while and she didn’t answer, so maybe. I logged it.”

“Okay. I’ll ask her,” Isaac replies, flipping through the binder full of every mundane move they make that Oliver meticulously keeps.

She might actually tell him. Aside from that major fuck up about being fifteen when they started dating, Maya’s pretty damn honest. And not even for a chick, just in general. When she does lie, it’s for his benefit, like telling him she doesn’t
cry after he leaves when sometimes she sobs uncontrollably for hours, or that she’s fine when he has to cancel on her because she needs to work on some assignment that she already completed.

He can’t stop looking at the screen and she isn’t even home. Piper is though
. I’m sure she’s dancing around to the song that’s playing now, she always does when she sings along, and I’m missing it. I don’t let Oliver watch. He actually does keep the camera off when we’re supposed to.

But even he wanted to listen when Maya finally fessed up
about Luke. We just had to know and Isaac doesn’t realize that we can override it when he disables audio in the living room, not that he ever fucking remembers to. That had to tear his heart out. I actually felt a little better because Maya specifically requested that he doesn’t kill the bastard, and now there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that he won’t since he can’t tell her no.

Maya opens the door and I start to count, glancing at Oliver and smirking. I think the record is an entire minute and half, but he doesn’t even make it ten seconds
this time. Piper changed clothes. Fuck! It was probably a naked dance.

“Hey, I’m going to be home late tonight, I’m going out with—” Shit. Oliver’s eyes widen and I wince. “Maya?” Her voice is filled with concern. “What’s wrong, did something happen?”

Isaac sits on the edge of his seat. Maya’s back is to the camera and we can’t see her face yet. “I’m fine,” she responds. Why does she always say that when she’s obviously not?

“Did Luke show up at school or something?”

“No, nothing like that. It’s Frank. He’s just being a major asshole since he found out that Osbourne is my thesis advisor. He’s constantly making stupid little comments and insults, he essentially fucking told me to make him a sandwich the other day. It’s like sitting in class next to a third grader.” Isaac’s eyes flare. This dude’s days are fucking numbered.

“Yeah,
I bet it is. He only messes with you because he’s still hung up on you.”

“I don’t even want to think about it, but you’re probably right. I
never
should have slept with him freshmen year, totally not worth the hassle.” If Isaac knew about that it still bothers him, because he just stopped breathing and clenched his fists.

“I thought you said he was pretty good?”

“That isn’t the point, Pipes.” Oh, how I love that nickname. “He thinks he has something on me now.”

“Don’t they always,” Piper sighs. “It’s like they get offended when you
don’t
get attached, because then they can’t blow you off. Fucking stereotypes.” Sometimes I feel like she’s talking directly to me when she says shit like that.

“I always used to come up with something clever
to shut him up, but I can’t now. I just draw a blank, so now there’s nothing stopping him. He’s such a
dick
.”

“Does he still call you Affirmative Action?”

“Yes! And that is so fucking… just… awkward for everyone and he’s such a social moron he doesn’t even see it!”

“He would never say that to a black student. What a douche. I take it
the faculty never sees any of this shit?”

“Of course not. He’s unfortunately not that stupid. I can’t believe
I let him upset me. Isaac is coming over and I don’t want to tell him, he is stressed out enough as it is.”

“Isaac’s coming over?”

“Yeah,” Maya answers, cringing. “He texted me at lunch. Please don’t be weird.”

“You were fucking sobbing for two days
after that fight. You missed school.” Dammit. If Isaac suddenly develops the ability to kill people just by looking at them, me and Oliver are fucked.

“What the fuck?
You said she went!” he shouts.

“
Technically
, she did,” Oliver explains, taking the hit. “But she came back right away. Just the second day, though.”

He’s about to chew us a new one, but Maya starts talking again. “We were fighting.”

“About what?” Piper presses her.

“None of your business. Not talking to someone for two days is pretty normal.”

“Whatever.” Piper grabs her coat and my heart starts beating faster. “Well, you’ll have the house to yourself. I have a date. Don’t wait up.”

“I thought you didn’t want a boyfriend senior year?”

“Who said anything about a boyfriend?” she laughs. “If I don’t get laid soon, I will fucking snap.”

Two months ago, I would have wondered if
this chick could be any more perfect. Now I’m more than a little disappointed. My stomach falls whenever she talks like that, it’s so weird. “I guess that’s my cue,” I say, grabbing my stuff.

“Wait a second. Shouldn’t Oliver follow her? What if she recognizes you?” Isaac makes a pretty
solid point and I don’t quite know what to say.

“Naw,” Oliver answers. “He usually g
oes. Honestly, he’s better at staying in the shadows. I’m too old, I stick out.”

Isaac looks skeptical, but he shrugs and drops it. He just wants to get the hell out of here to be with his girl. So do I.
Too bad she isn’t technically mine. Well, not yet.