Desires (4 page)

A few seconds went by and in the utter silence that fell
between them, she heard the faint sound of him moving toward her. She kept her
eyes downturned and shivered when she realised he was so close she could almost
feel his body heat. He’d come round to face her—she could see his feet. She
forced herself to look up at him, seeing only happy welcome in his gentle smile,
not a trace of the half-hidden disappointment, resignation, or even revulsion
she had feared she would see. He was a very good actor. Then she braced for
impact as he came toward her and landed a gentle kiss on first one cheek, then
the other. He smelled of chocolate and spices.

“It’s fantastic to meet you.”

Stacie’s mouth was bone dry as she tried to speak. “Nice
to meet you too,” she managed to croak. “Could I possibly have a glass of
water?”

“Of course.” He stepped away—Stacie felt both relief at
the cessation of his disturbing nearness, and a keen sense of loss at his
absence—and went to a small table on which stood a jug of water and two
glasses. He poured her a glass and brought it to her and the relief she felt on
his return shocked her. For heaven’s sake, he had only gone across the room.
Gathering together her courage, she made eye contact and smiled at him as she
took a sip. He smiled back. Then she started as he moved suddenly away from her
toward the bed.

“I’ll show you round the room, if you like,” he said,
not waiting for her to agree. He pointed to two large red round buttons
situated on either side of the bed. “These are panic buttons. If, by any remote
chance, you need urgent help, they will alert reception.”

Stacie couldn’t imagine under what circumstances she
would need a panic button. It wasn't like he was going to rape her. But, once
there, the thought persisted and uneasiness crept in. What might happen in here
that would necessitate the installation of panic buttons? He opened the top
drawer of a large dresser by the window.

“There is a phone in here.” He pulled it out to show
her. “You can ring zero for reception or two for the kitchen. There’s also a
menu for food and beverages if needed,” he went on, pulling them out of the
drawer to show her.

Stacie gazed around the dazzling room. The large
four-poster bed dominated. It was adorned with a deep purple duvet, shot
through with black and gold. Matching cushions were arranged on the bed, and the
canopy above was hung with purple and gold voiles. Heavier purple curtains hung
at the large window. There were two black leather tub chairs with a small table
between them, and buttery-gold wallpaper completed the look. There was no
ceiling light. Instead, the room was illuminated by several wall lights which
were dimmed to a cosy level. The aroma of vanilla permeated the room,
presumably from the bowl of pot pourri on the table.

He continued. “There are two large wardrobes if you
decide to book one of the weekend packages,” he said. Her gaze obediently
followed where he pointed, and she cast her eyes over the wardrobes, which
matched the lovely old oak of the antique dresser.

Dan moved to a door to the far right. Stacie followed
him, noticing his cute, perfectly-shaped bottom enticingly encased in the black
denim.

“The en-suite is through here and again there is a panic
button,” he said, opening the door and allowing Stacie to step in before him.

The bathroom was spacious with a large Jacuzzi and a shower
big enough to take several people.
Now
where did that thought come from?
Stacie was shocked at herself and forced
her thoughts back to a civilized level. The room was decorated with cream
patterned tiles and earth-toned stone floor tiles. Soft luxurious cream towels were
piled on a side table and candles were placed strategically around the room.

She followed him back out into the bedroom and Dan led
the way to the seating area. He sat down in one of the tub chairs and indicated
the other. “Please, take a seat.”

She sat down and turned her attention to Dan sitting
directly opposite her. She tried her best to meet his direct gaze, but his eyes
overpowered her. She gulped, and turned her head away, suddenly very, very uncertain.

“Angel told me you need to start with the basics.”

Stacie looked down at the floor in embarrassment, her
cheeks flaming.

“When was the last time you masturbated?”

“I don’t know. Maybe five years ago,” she said miserably.

“Five years?” His perfectly-shaped eyebrows flew up.
Did he wax them?

She felt such a fool, babbling in her haste to try to
explain. “My husband didn’t like me to pleasure myself. He thought women
masturbating was insulting. He wanted to do it all.”
Not that he ever managed to
. “So I never…did that…when we were
married. And since my marriage ended, I dedicated myself to my work. I work
overtime as much as possible and spend my time off doing housework or visiting
family.”

“So you hardly make any time for yourself?”

Stacie tried to look at him without blushing. The
furnace flaring in her cheeks told her she had failed. “No. It didn’t really
seem important.”

Dan thought for a few minutes. “I have a few options
here for you. Stacie, what your husband did to you was disgraceful and has left
you in shreds. You are my client and you are paying for me to help you. Think
of me more like a therapist than anything else. You will take the lead in
everything we do. I might make suggestions, but the end decision is up to you.
For now, we can either talk for a while and get to know each other a little, to
build up your trust in me, or we can get down to business straightaway. It’s
entirely up to you. I am yours to command.” He smiled and spread his hands out.

Stacie gazed at him, liking what she heard.
Therapist, hmm?
That sounded a bit
better than anything else she could think of to describe his role. She focussed
on her handbag where she had left it on the floor, wondering how much
therapy
she could afford.

“What would happen if I said let’s begin now?” she asked
in a small voice, still staring at her handbag.

“What I was thinking, and I want to run this all by you,
was that we would go back to the complete beginning. You would learn to touch
yourself, stimulating your senses and enjoying your body, not being ashamed of
it.”

She inhaled deeply, trying to listen to her heart. Stacie
still felt acutely anxious about the whole experience. But she reminded herself
of the final stimulus that had made her send that email—a hysterically giggly
conversation between her work colleagues recently, sparked by a sexual survey
in some women’s magazine someone had brought in. She’d listened to them
burbling about their sexual acts both with and without their partners and she’d
realized her sexual organs had been made redundant. That was why she was here.
Yes, it was deeply embarrassing, but going to the doctor was embarrassing and
if this young man, no matter how gorgeous he was, thought he could help her,
then…

“Where would you begin?” she said, suddenly eager.

“That’s up to you. On your notes you said you liked your
breasts being touched, maybe…totally up to you…but maybe we could begin there,”
he said.

Stacie panicked. “You would see me?”

“That’s for you to decide. It would be better if I did,
but it’s your choice, Stacie,” he said.

 
Stacie’s sudden
bravado fled. “May I use the bathroom?”

“Of course.”

Not wasting a second she headed into the stunning
en-suite. She closed the door and pressed her back against it, feeling a total
wreck.

Her head filled with concerns. She was wavering, not altogether
sure of the right thing to do. Her breathing became rapid and panicky. She
pushed herself off the door and sat down on the closed toilet lid, taking deep
breaths to try to calm herself.

“Come on Stacie, sort yourself out. Yes, he’s gorgeous,
nothing like you expected, but you’re paying for the session with him. This is
a sex club. What did you expect?” she muttered to herself, keeping her voice
low. She didn’t want him to hear her talking to herself. He probably already
thought she was enough of a fruit loop.

Stacie headed over to the sink and stared at her own
petrified face in the mirror.

“Right, girl.” She glared at herself right in the eye.
“You’ve come here to get help. You either walk and be boring and alone for the
rest of your life, or you have that nice young man out there teach you.” She
gazed back at the bathroom door, with Dan the other side of it. Acid panic
splashed about in her stomach, and a lump the size of Everest rose in her
throat, but she knew what she had to do.

Stacie opened the bathroom door and stepped out. Dan still
sat in the same place. He looked at her with a question written clearly on his
face. She smiled and his face relaxed. He grinned back.

Dan watched Stacie make her way to the bed. She removed
her jacket and sat down, wearing just her too-high blouse and too-long skirt.
He stood up and walked toward her. “Are you sure?” he said.

“I am. Let’s do it.”

He pulled out the stool from under the dresser and sat
down.

“Put out your arm,” he instructed her.

Stacie gazed at him, feeling like an idiot. She did what
he asked, however, and held out her arm. “Now, lightly place your fingertips
along your arm and feel the sensitivity.” Stacie did so, drawing her
fingernails along her skin.

“How does that feel?” he said to her.

“It tickles.”

“Did you like it?”

“Yes.” She looked into his deep brown eyes.

“Good. We can begin there. I want you to lightly touch
yourself across your hips, waist, thighs, and your breasts.”

Another surge of embarrassment flooded her face. God,
she was going to have to get over this.

“Are you okay?” he said.

“It’s just weird.”

“How so?”

“Having another man look at me.”

“Don’t think of me as a man. Think of me as a professional.
I’m here to help you achieve your goal.” He paused and his eyes flicked over
her body. “You’ve nothing to be ashamed about, you know. You look great, you’ve
just got a little side-tracked in your life and forgotten about number one.”

Stacie jumped as he rose up from his chair and came
toward her, but he just sat down beside her on the bed and took her hand.

“Look, I do understand what you’re thinking, but I
really want to help you. I want you to be confident about yourself and enjoy
who you are. Don’t allow your ex to win, Stacie. You are a very attractive woman
who needs help in regaining her self-esteem, and I am more than happy to get
you back on track.”

Oh my God…how
sweet are you?

She knew he was right and her ex had wasted her life,
but she struggled to believe the words he said. Did it matter if he was lying
about her being attractive? Did it matter if he was just saying it to make her
feel better about herself? That was his job, right? And he was just doing it.

“Do you feel you can begin?” she heard him say.

Stacie glanced into his eyes, seeing them filled with concern.
For her? Or for potentially losing a client?

I can’t allow this
chance to slip away.
Her heart pounded as she gave
a tiny little nod of assent, wondering what the gorgeous Dan was going to do
with her. He smiled, a big wide happy smile and stood up. Stacie grinned back
slightly hysterically, feeling more sorry for him having to tutor her.
I hope I’m not going to be his worst client
.

“Right, let’s begin.”

He sat back down on the stool opposite her but pulled it
closer, so their knees touched.

“Close your eyes, Stacie,” he said softly.

Stacie closed her eyes tightly and awaited further
instructions.

“Place your hands on your tummy and slowly move your
hands around your body.”

She obeyed, moving her hands gradually across her stomach
and gliding them toward her waist. A crop of goosebumps spread out over her
skin under the thin short-sleeved blouse, and she shivered. She kept her
breathing steady, allowing her own touch to relax her. She slid both hands down
over her thighs and back up again.

Stacie glided her fingertips over her naked arms, the
sensation sending quivers throughout her body. Her tension trickled away, her
shoulders dropped and her breathing slowed down. Stacie felt her inner vaginal
muscles tighten of their own volition.

She began to move her hands more quickly over her body.

“No, Stacie, take it slowly and enjoy the sensation,”
she heard him say in a quiet voice.

She listened to his command, placing her hands back on
her tummy to knead the area. The lower part of her body jiggled with pleasure.
How could she be turned on just by touching her own stomach and arms?

“Where would you like to touch yourself next?”

My breasts
, was her immediate thought.
Here
it is. Can I really play with my own breasts in front of a total stranger?