Desperate Chances (30 page)

“Because you’re Mitch. And she’s Gracie. And the two of you will never be able to leave each other alone,” Jordan stated as though it made perfect sense.

“She told me she didn’t want me over a year ago,” I protested.

“It was over a year ago. A lot can change in three hundred and sixty five days, dude.” Jordan looked at me like I was the world’s biggest idiot. And maybe I was.

“I’m with Sophie,” I argued weakly. That particular excuse didn’t seem like much of an excuse anymore.

“And she’s not who you want to be with,” Jordan added.

I rubbed my temples, trying to lessen the throbbing in my head. “And she’s not who I want to be with,” I agreed.

“Well, it sounds like you have a plan,” Jordan said with a grin.

“A plan? It sounds like a fucking mess to me,” I grunted.

Jordan clasped my shoulder. “Well I guess you’d better get out the mop then.”

“Y
ou. God help me, I just want you.”

I rolled over in bed, keeping my eyes resolutely closed, hugging my pillow tightly to my chest, replaying the scene with Mitch over and over in my head.

The look on his face.

The taste of his mouth.

His heart in his eyes.

“You. God help me, I just want you.”

He made me feel things. Dangerous things.

Perfect, out of control things.

I should have told him how I felt. That was the moment to lay it all out on the table.

But there was Sophie…

He had chosen to be with someone else.

After you told him there would never be a chance between you.

A chance.

Chances.

That’s all we were.

Possibilities and almosts.

It was frustrating and heartbreaking. I felt as though I were losing him all over again. Because after that amazing kiss he had driven away.

“I’m sorry.”

We were always apologizing to one another. We were always making mistakes. I was tired of regrets. They were exhausting. They didn’t change anything that had happened.

But I couldn’t help it.

Because I regretted so damn much.

“Gracie, are you up?” Vivian knocked on my bedroom door and before waiting for an answer, she poked her head in. She frowned when she saw me still in bed. “What’s up with you? Don’t you have a meeting at ten? It takes you at least an hour to properly shave and moisturize!”

I snorted. Vivian knew my grooming routine better than I did.

I finally opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. “Yeah, I’m up,” I sighed.

“I won’t be home until late tonight. Cole and I are heading over to the apartment to start moving things in. You’re welcome to come over if you want. We’ll probably order some pizza and stuff.”

I swung my legs out of the bed and grabbed my robe, putting it on. I picked up my phone and checked my messages.

Nothing.

Don’t be disappointed. What did you think would happen? He’d go to his girlfriend and break up with her for you? Just because you shared a stupid kiss?

I put the phone back on the table and pulled clothes out of my closet.

“That’s okay. I’m supposed to have dinner with my parents after work,” I told her. Ugh. Dinner with my parents. I wasn’t in the mood for their lectures and criticisms but there were certain things I needed to set straight with them. I couldn’t go through life not addressing things because they were difficult or uncomfortable.

And I couldn’t spend my life checking my phone waiting for
him
to call.

Take life by the balls, Gracie Cook!

“Well, you could come by after that. I’m sure by that point you could use some carbs and decent conversation,” Vivian laughed as I passed her on my way to the bathroom.

“Yeah, we’ll see,” I said.

Vivian bit down on her bottom lip, her eyes concerned. “Mays and Jordan said they’d come by and Garrett gets back into town today.” She hesitated before adding, “I don’t think Mitch will be there, if that’s the problem. Cole said he had stuff to do today. So if you’re worrying about a run in—”

“That’s not an issue, Viv. Not anymore.” I drew myself upright, holding my robe closed with one hand and gripping my clothes in the other.

“Okay. Well good. Just please think about coming by. I’d like to show you the place. I need to know you’re okay with all this. I don’t want you to feel as though I’m leaving you high and dry,” Vivian said.

I squeezed Vivian’s arm as I stepped into the bathroom. “You’re moving in with your boyfriend. That’s how things are supposed to go, Viv. You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be fine. I promise.” Vivian didn’t look convinced. “Okay, I’ll come by after I leave my parents. I can’t wait to see it.”

Vivian relaxed. “Great! Thank you, G!” She gave me a hug and I dropped my clothes on the floor in her exuberance. We both laughed.

“Okay, now let me get ready. I’ve got places to go and people to see,” I teased, closing the door in her face.

“Well hurry up. I need to do my hair and the light in my room is horrible!” Vivian called out.

After I was finished getting dressed, I checked my phone again.

Still nothing.

My thumb hovered over the keys and I was tempted to send him a text. But what would I say?

Did you dump your girlfriend yet?

Or how about
what the hell is your problem? How could you kiss me and drive off like that? What’s wrong with you?

I could always settle on a string of expletives to get my point across.

I sighed. This was ridiculous. I couldn’t leave things like this.

I couldn’t live life in the backseat.

I grabbed my purse. “Vivian, I’m heading out. I’ll see you later tonight,” I yelled.

“Where are you going? You haven’t even had your coffee yet! That’s suicidal!” Vivian said, poking her head out from her room.

I pulled on my coat and wrapped a scarf around my neck. “I—uh—I’ve got something to do this morning. I’ll tell you later.”

Vivian gave me a knowing look. “Okay then, well, tell me later.”

Then I realized I was without wheels. That put a significant cramp in my Go-Gracie-you-can-do-it mood.

“Can I borrow your car? Just until I can pick mine up later this afternoon?” I asked her.

Vivian nodded. “Cole can give me a lift to work, not a problem. We can meet up after you leave work to get your car.” She tossed me her keys and I gave her a grateful smile.

“Thanks, Viv, you’re the best.”

I left quickly, before I could talk myself out of the craziness I had planned.

I drove the entire way to Garrett’s house with knots in my stomach.

What was I doing?

Why was I driving out there first thing in the morning?

I pulled my car up beside Garrett’s van and got out. I didn’t see Mitch’s car.

Shit. He wasn’t home.

I stood there, feeling like a fool for a long time.

What would I have even said if he had been there?

“Hey you. What are you doing here at nine in the morning?”

I glanced up to the porch to see Garrett in a tattered pair of jeans and a T-Shirt, a duffel bag at his feet.

“Uh, well, I’m not really sure,” I told him honestly.

Garrett unlocked the front door and pushed it open. “Well, I just got here. I just got off a two-hour flight and I hate the airport. I need to de-funk, stat. Why don’t you come in and I’ll make some coffee. You’ve got that I-haven’t-mainlined-caffeine look on your face.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, okay. Sounds good.”

Garrett dropped his bag just inside the door turned up the thermostat. “Fuck me, it’s freezing in here. Mitch has a serious aversion to turning the heat up.”

We walked into the kitchen and Garrett went straight to the coffee maker and dumped the remains of an earlier pot into the sink. It looked like Mitch
had
been home this morning.

But where had he gone so early?

“Milk and sugar right?” Garrett asked and I nodded, sitting down at the table.

“How’s Riley?” I asked after he handed me a mug of steaming coffee. Garrett sat down across from me, stretching out his legs.

“She’s great. She was called into to cover a story at four this morning. Some fire over at the government offices. So I just got up and headed to the airport. I waited around for a few hours before my flight. She’ll be down this weekend for the show.” Garrett smiled at the mention of his girlfriend.

“So you won’t have to wait too long to see her again,” I said, drinking my coffee. Garrett could make one hell of a cup of java, that’s for sure.

“It gets harder and harder to leave her,” he said softly. He looked up at me, his blue eyes tired but happy. “I’m moving up there. To Boston,” he announced and I blinked in shock.

“To Boston. You’re moving to Boston,” I repeated, not sure that I heard him correctly.

Garrett downed the rest of his coffee and nodded. “Yeah. I can’t be away from her anymore. I just can’t do it. And neither can she. She’s got a good gig with the paper. I would never ask her to move back here. There’s nothing for her in Bakersville as far as her career goes.”

“But the band—” I started to say.

“I don’t think that’s in the equation anymore,” he said, sounding a mixture of sad and relieved.

“What are you talking about?” I asked aghast. No Generation Rejects? I couldn’t imagine them not playing together. “I know you guys are worried about the label dropping you, but Mitch’s cousin was getting you guys some gigs right? You don’t need a label to still play music,” I argued.

Garrett got up and refilled his mug. “You know, the band has been the biggest part of my life for so damn long. After my parents died, it’s what kept me from losing my fucking mind. Mitch, Cole, and Jordan are more than my friends, they’re my brothers. We’ve traveled down this road together and it’s been amazing. It really has. But things change. Life heads off into another direction and you have to go with it. Generation Rejects will always be a part of my life. But Riley Walker
is
my life, G. I want to build my life with her. I want to put down roots
with
her.”

He stopped for a minute and then he smiled and it made my breath catch in my throat. At one time I had thought myself in love with Garrett. It was easy to see why when he looked like that. When he was talking about the woman he adored above everything else.

“I don’t want to spend all my time on the road, thinking about her. I want to wake up in the morning beside her and I want to go to bed at night holding her. That’s all I want. I’m a simple guy like that. Everything else will fall into place.” He sat back down again and I didn’t quite know what to say.

“What will the guys think?” I had to ask.

“They’ve got their own stuff going on. Jordan’s going to be a dad—”

“You know!” I gasped and Garrett chuckled.

“Riley told me.”

“You’re right, he won’t want to leave Maysie and the baby now. I guess it’s the end of an era.” I said.

Garrett tapped his fingers on the table in a slow, steady rhythm. Much like his personality. Slow and steady. Unhurried. “It’s time though. Don’t you think we’re all ready for a change?”

I thought about that and yeah, we all were ready. More than ready.

“What are you going to do with the house when you move to Boston?” I asked.

Garrett looked around the tiny, yet homey kitchen. A hundred memories had been made in this room. Thousands for him. It would be strange for this house to stand without him living in it.

“I’ll keep it of course. This was my parents’ house. I would never sell it. I guess I’ll see if Mitch wants to keep living here. If not, then maybe I’ll rent it out. I’ve got some time before I have to worry about all that.”

I felt a momentary panic. “Why wouldn’t Mitch want to live here? Is he planning to move as well?” My voice sounded a little shrill in my ears.