Desperate Chances (4 page)

And we both knew I was simply avoiding an awkward situation. Even though they were all my friends and I knew they’d want me there, I felt oddly out of place. Now that I didn’t have Mitch at my side, I wasn’t so sure how I fit in.

I was the poor single gal hanging with all of her coupled up friends. I’d be the loser sitting on the couch playing Candy Crush on her phone while her buddies were gettin’ it on.

No thank you.

“Yeah, well you know how
things
go,” I replied, shrugging.

“You know, one day you’re going to have to talk to him. I hate that there’s this big giant ball of weird whenever the two of you are in the same room. It’s uncomfortable. And uncomfortable makes my skin itch. I don’t want itchy skin. So maybe you should do something about that,” Vivian suggested.

“God forbid you have itchy skin,” I deadpanned.

“Just talk to him. Get back to that annoying Mitch and Gracie place where we can all talk behind your back about how you need to bang as you look at each other wistfully while pretending you aren’t madly in love.”

Sometimes Vivian really overstepped the line. And sometimes she was so on the money it was scary.

But I’d never, in a million years, tell her that. Her ego was out of control as it was.

I shook my head. “He hates me. End of discussion.”

“He hates you like I hate my Rockin’ Rabbit vibrator,” Vivian chastised.

And everyone knew how much Vivian
loved
her Rockin’ Rabbit vibrator. They had a special thing going on.

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” I muttered.

Vivian put her phone down again and ignored it when it dinged. She must be about to say something profound if she was ignoring Cole’s dick pic.

“Gracie, I love you. I’ve seen you at your best and I’ve seen you at your worst. And I’d prefer to see either of those than this person you’ve been for the past year.”

I grimaced. “Thanks a lot. I thought I was kicking some ass,” I huffed, trying to make light of her very serious statement. But her words hurt. A lot.

“Do you define kicking ass as days consumed with working and bad TV while pining for a man that you love? Because I think you need to work on re-defining ass kicking.”

Like I said, Vivian could be
so
on the money. I wanted to hate her for it.

“I’m sober. I’m not bat-shit crazy. I think I’m doing pretty well.” I hated how small I sounded.

Vivian grabbed my hand. “Sweetheart, you’re my sista from another mista, I get you. More than you’d probably like me to. And I know you miss him. That doesn’t negate all the super awesome things you’ve done to get yourself on track. But Mitch is a huge part of your life. Even when he’s not in it.”

“He has a—”

“This isn’t about Sophie. This is about you and that hottie bassist that you used to spend every waking hour with. This about how you would watch that stupid show together and quote the dialogue.”

“Don’t hate on the Fresh Prince,” I warned.

Vivian rolled her eyes. “This about how he’d send you huge packages from the road full of stuff that made him think of you. And how you’d drag me to the grocery store with you before he was due to come home so you could make sure the cupboards were full of all his favorite food like those gross red candy things and that ice cream with monkey in the name. You two were closer than most couples and now you don’t even look at each other. It’s just sad, mi amiga.”

My chest felt tight and I tried to swallow around the large, annoying lump in my throat.

“He’s better off, Viv. Trust me.”

Vivian scowled at me. “If this is about your demons or whatever—”

“Drop it, Vivian. Please,” I interrupted her.

We stared at each other for a long few minutes, but finally she nodded and picked up her phone again.

“You’re making a big mistake by not trying to work things out with Mitch. You love him. You belong together. I know that if you don’t go for it you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Just sayin’. And that’s all I’m going to say about it. This time.”

Her threat was given with a smile, but I knew she wouldn’t let it drop.

My stomach clenched as her words bounced around in my head.

You’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.

I was already swimming in a sea of regret. And I was pretty sure I was going to drown.

“Y
ou’re back!” Vivian shrieked, throwing open the front door, letting it bounce off the wall. I watched her from the couch as she propelled herself at the person standing in the hallway.

“Viv, please, let me in before you maul me,” Maysie laughed, pushing her way into the apartment, pulling a suitcase in behind her.

I got to my feet and went to give one of my best friends a hug. “Hey you,” I grinned, wrapping my arms around her thin frame.

Maysie gave me a squeeze. “Hey back.”

Vivian frowned. “Why are you here? What’s wrong?” she demanded, her joy at seeing our friend erased by suspicion.

“Wow, thanks for the warm greeting,” Maysie muttered, sitting down on the couch. She looked tired. Her skin was pale and there were dark circles under eyes.

“You look like shit, Mays. What’s going on?” Vivian asked, sitting down beside her. I joined them and the three of us sat squished together like we had done a hundred times before. If Riley were here it would have felt like old times.

“Vivian, don’t be a dick,” I scolded.

“You are what you love,” Vivian giggled and I groaned.

Maysie laughed, but it sounded halfhearted. “Nothing’s going on. I just needed a break. Living on a bus with a bunch of guys takes a lot out of a girl. Sometimes I need a breather. Nothing to worry about, Viv, so stop freaking out.”

“Things with Jordan okay?” I asked her quietly.

Maysie smiled and it was genuine if a little on the exhausted side. “Yes. We’re fine. Don’t worry. I honestly just missed you guys and wanted to spend some time in a place that doesn’t smell like gym socks and aftershave.” We all laughed. “And things have been tense since the phone call with Pirate. I thought it would be best for the guys to have some time without the
wife
around.”

Vivian had mentioned that the outcome of the phone call with Pirate Records hadn’t been very positive. The label, unhappy with diminishing album and ticket sales, had told them that unless things turned around, they would have no choice but to drop them. Now the guys felt more pressure than ever to make the last three shows on their tour successful.

“I just wish there was something more that I could do to help them. But Mitch called his cousin Josh, who is now head of marketing for another label, to see if there’s anything more they can do. Pirate isn’t giving them much to work with unfortunately so they’re feeling they have to do it for themselves.” Maysie sighed and I could see how upset she was. If Jordan was bothered by something, then Maysie was too. It’s how they operated.

Vivian got to her feet suddenly. “I need to call Cole. I can’t stand the thought of him worrying about this. He’ll need me!” she exclaimed, dashing from the room.

Maysie shook her head. “It’s hard to believe they used to have a no-strings-attached arrangement.”

I grinned, “Now they’re all pet names and baby talk. It’s nauseating.”

Maysie patted my knee. “Now we just need to find someone for you so we can all be nauseating together,” she teased. I instantly tensed and pulled away slightly.

“I’m fine on my own,” I remarked dismissively. “Who needs a guy when I’ve got Friday nights full of General Hospital marathons and Chinese takeout?”

“Damn, that sounds pretty freaking fantastic! Where do I sign up?” Maysie laughed. “But seriously, I didn’t mean to imply that you weren’t fine on your own. We’re modern women after all. We don’t need a man.”

“But you have a man, don’t forget,” I reminded her with my patented Gracie Cook everything-is-fine-here smile plastered all over my mug. I flicked my hair over my shoulder. “Besides he has to be super hot and saves puppies in his spare time for me to even bother.”

“Well of course,” Maysie agreed, patting my knee.

“Well of course what?” Vivian asked, coming out from her bedroom.

“That was a quick conversation. Did Cole even have a chance to put his hands in his pants?” I asked, tongue in cheek.

Vivian pursed her lips. “They were on their way to get something to eat. He said he’d call me later.”

“How did he seem?” I asked after she sat down on the chair opposite us.

“He seemed okay. He mentioned that Josh had called Mitch earlier and given him some advice but Cole didn’t get into specifics.”

Mitch. Ugh. Cue stomach clenching and butterflies.

“Oh. Well that’s good. Josh is a great guy,” I said lamely. Josh was Mitch’s cousin who had helped schedule Generation Rejects’ very first tour years ago. He had been working in the music industry for long enough to know the ropes.

“Let’s talk about something more upbeat,” Vivian remarked, changing the subject abruptly. “How about the wedding? Have you and Jordan finally set a date?” she asked Maysie.

Maysie ducked her head and started playing with a piece of string on the hem of her shirt. “Well it’s hard to plan a wedding when we’re on the road all the time,” she excused and Vivian and I both groaned.

“Come on! You’ve been engaged for forever! Are you going to be one of those couples who won’t get married until you have grandkids?” I asked her, nudging her knee with mine.

Maysie threw her hands up in the air. “I’m surrounded by men most of the time and Jordan is zero help! We know we want to get married this summer. Probably in August. But every time I try to talk to him about it all he says is ‘whatever you want, baby.’” We all started laughing at Maysie’s dead on imitation of her fiancé.

“What about your mom? Could she help you?” Vivian asked hesitantly. Maysie’s relationship with her parents was rocky. It was one of the things that had always connected us. We both understood what it was like to dislike your parents as much as you loved them.

“She’s happy for me, I guess. Though it’s hard to know behind that thin layer of disapproval. It’s difficult to ask for wedding planning help when I’m fending off the usual
when are you going to do something with your life
questions. Apparently running the band’s social media platforms, maintaining their website and interfacing with the marketing department of the record label isn’t good enough for her. And let’s not even bring up my dad’s feelings about my life,” Maysie huffed.

“Well, we’d love to help you. Hello! Flowers, decorations,
cake tasting!
I’m all over it,” I enthused.

Vivian was practically bouncing up and down in her chair. “Oh my god, Mays, let us help you! We’ll make it fabulous!”

Maysie face split into a large grin. “You girls are the best. What would I do without you?”

“Get married on the tour bus, and then eat pizza and drink Bud Light at your reception?” I offered.

Vivian leaned down and pulled out a stack of magazines from the side of the coffee table. “It so happens I just bought the newest bridal magazines the other day.”

Maysie and I exchanged a look, each of us raising our eyebrows in surprise. “You’ve been buying bridal magazines?” Maysie asked, not able to hide her amusement.

“Does Cole know what you do in your spare time?” I teased.

Cole Brandt and marriage seemed as incongruous as eggs and ketchup. Some things just weren’t meant to go together.

Vivian stiffened marginally and I wondered if this was a sore spot for her. “A girl can dream, right?” she said breezily. She opened up the magazine on top and flipped through the pages until she landed on a page that had been dog-eared.

“Look at this dress. I saw it and immediately thought of you,” she exclaimed, handing it to Maysie.

I scootched over and looked down at the beautiful woman in a sleeveless wedding gown. It was pretty simple. No long train or elaborate stitching. It was tasteful with a straight skirt that ran to the floor. The scooped neckline was plain but for a line of beads stitched along the edge.

“Wow, it’s amazing,” Maysie breathed, her face going all dewy.