Desperate Chances (5 page)

“That dress is perfect for a summer wedding! Oh! You should have an outdoor ceremony. Something small. Just friends and family. Maybe you could have it in the meadow behind Garrett’s. The one that borders the river!” Vivian continued.

“That sounds perfect,” Maysie smiled, running her fingers along the lines of the dress.

“So figure out what day in August you want to get hitched so we can start planning. I think everyone could use something to look forward to,” I suggested.

“Oh my god, we have to wear these bridesmaid dresses!” Vivian squealed, pulling the magazine from Maysie’s lap and turning to another page. When she pointed to a dress I made a face.

“No way, Viv. You are not going to get me in a dress with rhinestones!” I shrieked.

Vivian stuck out her tongue. “If you have your way, the bridesmaids would be wearing something boring with sleeves and a sash.”

“And if you have your way, we’ll all be wearing leopard print with our boobs falling out,” I threw back good-naturedly.

“Okay, no need to duke it out over dresses. I’ll pick something with everyone’s tastes in mind,” Maysie assured us.

We spent the next hour looking through Vivian’s secret stash of wedding magazines while Maysie made notes of what she liked and didn’t like. We called Riley and put her on speakerphone as we hashed out ideas.

“Okay, well before I get off here, are you guys all still planning to come to the show in Norfolk this weekend?” Riley asked as we were winding down the conversation.

“Of course! We wouldn’t miss it. I told Jordan I’d be back on Friday,” Maysie said, closing up the magazines.

“What about you, G, are you coming this time?” Riley asked and I could picture her standing in front of me with her hand on her hip and a no nonsense expression on her face.

“I—uh—I have stuff going on,” I said.

“Is this the same stuff that has kept you from coming to the last ten performances?” Riley pressed and I wished she were here so I could strangle her. She was too invasive for her own good. Or my own good.

“I’m a very busy woman,” I stated forcefully.

“Busy doing what?” Riley pushed.

Vivian snickered. “Yeah, busy doing what?” I glared at my roommate.

“I scheduled a facial for Saturday morning and I had some plans to reorganize my closet. You know how seriously I take de-cluttering,” I muttered, knowing how ridiculous I sounded.

Riley didn’t say anything and Maysie was furiously chewing on her bottom lip. Vivian rolled her eyes and gave me a pointed look that I refused to interpret.

“Oh come on. It’ll be fun,” Riley said and I sighed.

“Fine. I’ll go. But I can’t stay the whole weekend. I need to be back early on Sunday. I have to finish the article I’ve been working on and get it off to my editor,” I caved. I knew my excuses would never hold up against Riley Walker’s pushing and prodding.

Besides, maybe it
would
be fun. It had been a long time since I had hung out with my friends. And I loved listening to Generation Rejects.

More importantly, I loved watching Mitch Abrams play.

“Woohoo!” Riley shouted and I grinned.

“Let’s plan to meet at the hotel on Saturday evening. I’m getting into town on Friday afternoon, but Viv says she can’t leave until the next day, right?” Maysie asked and the conversation was steered to finalizing plans.

I got up and headed to the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and by habit searched for a bottle of wine that I had at one time always kept in the door.

Instead I grabbed the jug of orange juice and poured myself a cup.

“Hand me a soda,” Vivian said, coming into the room.

I passed her the can and closed the refrigerator. Vivian pulled a box of crackers from the pantry and handed me some.

I held them in my hand, not eating. I wasn’t particularly hungry so I put the crackers on the counter.

“I’m so glad you decided to come to the show,” Vivian said.

“I don’t think I was given much of a choice. Can you imagine what Ri would do if I told her I wasn’t coming?” I laughed.

“It wouldn’t have been pretty. But whatever, I’m just happy she got you to come. It’ll be like old times,” Vivian exclaimed, grinning.

Old times.

Not quite.

“Sure. Old times,” I agreed unenthusiastically.

Vivian took a drink of her soda, watching me the whole time. Her phone chirped in her pocket and she fished it out, quickly tapping out a text. When she was finished she looked back at me.

“Well, it
could
be like old times if you’d stop being so stubborn,” she pointed out.

Her phone beeped again and I was relieved for the distraction.

“I think you’re being summoned,” I said.

Vivian’s face went soft. “Yeah. I’d better go call him.”

When she was gone, I picked up the crackers and ate two of them.

Maybe going to the show this weekend would be a good thing. Maybe I could talk to Mitch.

And maybe I could just go and enjoy myself and not worry about what Mitch Abrams was doing or who he was doing it with.

I could just go and be with my friends and forget about the bullshit.

Yeah.

That sounded like a plan.

An extremely unrealistic plan.

I
was heading out to lunch when my phone rang. I was instantly filled with dread, thinking it was most likely my mother.

Could I get away with ignoring it?

There was no way. I’d pay for it in spades later if I dared.

So I pulled out my phone from the depths of my purse and glanced at the display and was surprised to see a name I hadn’t expected.

“Hello?”

“Hey there, girlie. Long time, no talk. I was beginning to think you were avoiding me.” The lazy drawl made me smile.

I chuckled, instantly in a good mood. “I’m not avoiding you, Garrett. You wouldn’t let me anyway.”

“Damn straight. I know where you live,” he teased.

“Now that’s a threat if I ever heard one,” I joked back, enjoying our easy banter. Garrett Bellows was someone I could not speak to in months and pick up the phone and chat like no time had passed. We had always been close and I was thankful that our friendship hadn’t been destroyed during my downward spiral.

Our friendship began during one of the darkest times of my life. I had been horrible, not only to him, but to his girlfriend and my friend, Riley. But somehow they forgave me. Not only that, but our friendship became stronger than ever.

I hadn’t realized how much I missed him until I heard him on the phone. There was something soothing about Garrett’s slow, easy voice.

“No threat. Just a promise,” Garrett replied.

I stopped outside the deli where I typically got a sandwich for lunch, waiting to go inside. It was cold and the air felt like snow, so I tightened the belt of my coat.

“How’s everything going?” I asked.

Garrett sighed. “They’ve been better. I’m sure you’ve heard things have been pretty rough on the Generation Rejects road to fame.”

“Yeah, Maysie’s in town, she filled me in. I’m so sorry, Garrett. But stuff will turn around. I’m sure of it,” I said, trying to sound enthusiastic and confident.

“Yeah, well, we’ll see. But I didn’t call to cry like a bitch on your shoulder, G,” he remarked.

“Oh really? I thought crying like a bitch was totally your thing.”

“Ouch. Man, you can be harsh,” Garrett laughed and I found myself grinning like a fool.

“So what did you call for then?”

“Riley says you’re coming to Norfolk this weekend. That’s great news. It’s been too long.” Garrett’s voice was light but there was a note of accusation.

Here we go again. He and his girlfriend were going to be the death of me. “I’ve been busy, Garrett—”

“Too busy to come to a show? Since when has that stopped you before?”

“Life happens, Garrett. I thought you’d understand that. I’m trying to get myself straight. I have a job writing. Sure it’s not Pulitzer material, but it’s a start. No more slinging coffee for this gal. I have to wear nice clothes and use some semblance of social skills and everything,” I joked.

“That’s awesome. I’m proud of you, kiddo.” And I knew he meant it. Garrett had always had my back. My best interests at heart. But there was a note of something else in his tone that he wasn’t making any effort to hide. “I know you’ve been through a tough time. I can also tell when there’s something else going on here. I know you and I know when you’re hiding something. I’ve seen it before, don’t forget.”

Yeah, he had to go there. I winced at the implication even if it was totally deserved.

I was quiet for a long time, not sure what to say. How do you find the words to admit that you no longer felt like part of a group that you had once belonged to? I didn’t want to tell him that I felt like an outsider. I wouldn’t whine and feel sorry for myself either.

And I certainly didn’t want to admit to Garrett—or anyone— that I couldn’t stomach the sight of Mitch and Sophie. I wanted to try to ignore the pain in the center of my chest that flared to life whenever I saw Mitch hug his girlfriend and kiss her mouth tenderly.

Seeing them forced me to face how monumentally I had screwed up. It made me face how I had thrown away my chance at a happily ever after.

All because I had been scared and too miserable to see what was right in front of my face.

Love.

So I didn’t want to think about how much I missed how our Fresh Prince of Bel Air binges—and yes we’d sing along to the theme song over and over again—or how every time Mitch put gas in his car he made sure to buy me a Baby Ruth candy bar just because they were my favorite.

And I certainly didn’t want to think about how in a room full of people he had always been my safe place. He never left my side and I hadn’t wanted him to.

Mitch’s arm was slung casually around my shoulders. I leaned into him, appreciating the warm solidity.

I was tired. My head hurt. I felt sick from the inside out. It had been less than a month since I had almost died and I still felt hollow and empty.

And I craved a drink so badly I thought I’d go insane.

“My parents are telling me I have to go to rehab,” I whispered, almost scared to raise my voice even though we were alone in my parents’ house.

We were cuddled up together on the couch, the TV on in the background, neither of us watching it even though our favorite show, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, was on. Mitch had been sitting with me for hours, neither of us really saying anything. There was just something about his quiet, strong presence that healed parts of me that had been broken for a long, long time.

“And what do you think about it?” Mitch asked, his hand slowly rubbing my arm. Up. Down. Up. Down.

I leaned my cheek against his chest, finding comfort in the rhythmic rise and fall. After everything I had done, after all the mistakes I had made, Mitch was still there, offering his support. I was pretty sure I didn’t deserve it, but he gave it anyway.

And he was the only one to really ask what I thought I needed to do. He wanted my opinion. It mattered to him.

I felt the tears on my face, but didn’t wipe them away. “I think I need to change,” I admitted, feeling defeated.

Mitch sat up and turned me around so that I faced him. I looked up into his handsome face and for a moment I was overwhelmed.

I had never taken the time to really, and I mean
really,
look at him before. I had been completely obsessed with Garrett and trying to make him love me that I totally ignored this beautiful man that had always been there.

His hair was dark brown and on the messy side. It was often in his eyes and he would toss his head to flip it back. He’d give me a shy smile that was so sweet it made my heart pitter-patter. His dark eyes were clear and intense and seemed to see me clearer than anyone ever had.

He really was beautiful. Inside and out.

“You don’t need to change, Gracie. But you need to learn to take care of yourself. To put yourself first. I can’t lose you. Not ever.” He gripped my hands between his. His face was flushed and his eyes flashed with emotion.