Determination (23 page)

“But I meant them.”

“And then you had the gall to carry my mangled body back to my family after killing a cambrog and using its claws to kill me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I tried so hard to let my family know what you’d done so they could avenge me, but my soul was in so much turmoil that I wasn’t able to collect myself before they all died of old age. After recovering from that truth, I hunted your soul from world to world, only to find you perpetuating your deceptions with more Aigis and killing them one by one. No one knew to suspect foul play in the others’ deaths, and no one suspected foul play was involved in mine because it was a cambrog.”

“May I ask what a cambrog is?” Roxie said.

Ron said, “A giant, serpentine lizard small enough to hide in this grass, yet big and powerful enough to kill a beast like Firsos.” He pointed to the bear. “Cambrog move very fast and are strong enough to break an Aigis’s bones. They are patient ambush predators. A population of them was encroaching on where I lived. Daio and I were battling their numbers with care before I was murdered.” He shook his head. “At least he stuck around years after to finish whittling down their numbers enough to encourage the population to move.”

Daio swallowed and Sassy said, “What is it?”

His eyes glowed blue. “I fed the cambrog population for years so they would become a problem. Sticking around after was a poor attempt at relieving my heavy conscience.”

Ron gaped, eyes glowing red. “You...” He clenched his fists. “Dozens more died because of you. Livestock devoured, farmland abandoned, and whole towns living in fear because of you!”

“I’m sorry.”

Ron’s Numina put a hand on his arm. “Ron,” he said in calm yet firm voice. Ron turned on him, eyes blazing. “It can’t be undone. You must bring yourself to let it all go.”

“But that weak excuse for an Aigis killed me and so many others!”

“No amount of wrath will change that. The worlds still turn and life goes on. Let it go. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Four eyes narrowed, Ron silently fumed until he was able to calm himself enough to get his eyes to stop glowing. He closed them and bowed his head. “You’re right, Tenimus. I hate feeling so powerless to do anything. My soul hasn’t been able to rest all these years because of how desperately I wanted to thwart Daio’s efforts to kill other Aigis.”

“It’s natural to want to control more than what’s feasible,” Tenimus said. “It’s difficult to accept that we can control nothing and no one but ourselves, but embracing this truth will help your soul find peace.”

“I know. You’ve been saying that for a long time.” He looked up. “Roxie hinted at this lesson in her own words. It’s finally sinking in.”

“Sometimes it’s the messenger; not the message,” Tenimus said.

“We are in accord.” Ron looked at Daio. “I don’t know how I’ll let go of my hate for you, but I know I must.”

Daio said, “If it makes you feel any better, I stuck around after your death because I wanted to end the cambrog chaos. I didn’t have to but I felt a need to. You were a good man, and everyone on Thracken were kind people. It was the least I could do as an apology. I’d considered you a good friend, even though I knew I’d come to kill you from day one.”

“How did you ever live with yourself? Your conscience must be fleeting.”

“I wish,” Daio said unhappily. “When you live with so many lies, you end up lying to yourself, but I wasn’t very good at believing my own lies. The truth is, it was and still is very hard to live with myself, hence all these chains.”

“Then we shall talk much after Roxie is free from the spirit realm.” He gestured to Sassy and Aerigo. “You clearly have a loyal friend and devoted lover. Only one possessing redeeming qualities can obtain such priceless things.”

“Oh, I’m full of charm,” Daio said lightly.

Smiling, Sassy elbowed him in the gut, making him let out an “oof!” and grab his side. She said to Ron, “I’d gladly join you two if you’d have me.”

“I would,” he said, nodding. “There’s much I must let go of before I’m able to find peace. I welcome all the aid we can give each other.”

“Thank you.”

“Looks like I have another babysitter,” Daio said.

Ron turned to Roxie. “This isn’t a storybook ending to my turmoil, but does this suffice to bring you some happiness?”

“It does.” Roxie didn’t expect them to hug and make up after one talk, but hearing Ron admit he needed to let go and wanted to do that made her feel better. Ron was going to strive for peace and rest for his soul. Knowing all that was enough.

Chapter 16

Nero

Sekiro led the ten of them down the vaulted chamber, passing gate after gate. Roxie walked hand-in-hand with Aerigo, enjoying his company. Yes, his hand was freezing but she didn’t care. Their time together was running out.

Roxie noticed that the gates weren’t moving in sync with how fast everyone walked. The stone tile floor kept up with them, but they were passing by the gates faster, as if they’d stepped onto a moving sidewalk.

“Are my eyes playing tricks on me?” Roxie said.

“I’m not sure what’s going on,” Aerigo said.

“Just keep following me,” Sekiro said without looking back, sounding unbothered. “This is supposed to happen.”

The gates sped by faster and faster, making a
whup
noise as vines and leaves whipped by. It was like driving by idle traffic with the windows down. The scores of Numina, oblivious to their presence and whipping by like the gates, vanished from sight and Roxie’s footsteps faltered.

“Keep moving!” Sekiro said, waving her onward. “Don’t stop.”

Roxie hopped back into motion and put Aerigo’s frozen hand in a death grip. The gates whipped by even faster, until they became a blur and it felt like they were being propelled through a tunnel. They walked inside streaks of grey and green and the end of the tunnel grew bright enough to make Roxie squint. Right as she shaded her eyes with a forearm, the light exploded like fireworks and streaked over their heads with a sigh. The gates vanished, giving way to a brown, rocky plain ending at an ocean. The overcast gloom turned into a pale blue sky with silvery clouds and a blushing horizon. Far out in the water rose a lone mountain, tall and jagged, with the sun behind it, making the mountain look black, and the water a sparkling mirror.

Between them and the water floated what looked like a white-glowing seed the size of a car. Green-glowing lines of light crisscrossed it like a net and gathered at the base, reaching into the ground like a tree trunk. Maybe the green light was rooting the seed in place.

Sekiro stopped before it and presented the seed with an outstretched hand. “This is Nero. Roxie, come touch the energy. He’s so old that he doesn’t have a set form. Interacting with him will give him a shape you can comprehend.” She stepped aside. “Go ahead. You’re the one who needs his help.”

Alright.
She didn’t understand how Nero couldn’t have a set form but she wasn’t going to question it. Maybe he’d explain it if they had the time. Letting go of Aerigo’s hand, she stepped forward and reached up. She grit her teeth, expecting the energy to be as frozen as almost everything else in this realm. To her relief, the seed felt as warm as an incubated egg. She pressed both hands to the seed and it emitted a ding like the toll of a large bell. The green tendrils began pulsing and flowing upwards.

Sekiro clasped Roxie’s arm and pulled her back. “That’s all you needed to do.” Together they backed away, standing next to Aerigo. He put an arm around Roxie’s waist and watched the pulsing seed.

The green tendrils lifted off the ground and sped up the sides, pouring into the top. The white glow faded and the seed began to morph into a humanoid shape curled in fetal position, arms crossed. The seed’s outer layer seeped into the humanoid, revealing pale skin, wiry limbs in human proportions, and a bald pale head with its face hidden behind the forearms. The legs twitched, one unfolded, and a large human foot touched down. The other leg unfolded and the humanoid figure rose higher as it stood on both feet. Flaps to a plain black loincloth unfurled down his front and back like hanging banners.

The arms twitched before unfolding at Nero’s sides. He raised his head and looked down at Roxie with serene blue eyes. He had a broad wedge for a nose, like a lion’s, a small mouth with human lips, and slits in the side of his head for ears, curled like a snail shell.

Nero examined his pale twenty-foot-tall body, turning hands over and feeling the silky-looking fabric of his scant attire. Relaxing his arms, he looked at Roxie. “Greetings, Roxie Lohr. We meet at last.” He had a gentle voice, one that sounded fit for reading stories to children.

“Hello, Nero.” No one had said anything about him expecting her. It caught her off-guard, but she put aside her surprise. “Thank you in advance for all the help you can give me.”

“You don’t need much beyond understanding, and you’ve grasped almost all your potential. This last push is vital to your chances of succeeding.”

“How did you know I was coming?”

“The other Aigis.” He looked at Ron. “They stirred me from my rest not long ago, seeking the knowledge of Frava. No Aigis can unlock Frava without being taught by another who already knows how. Nexus thought he was securing the future he wants by eliminating all Aigis, but he failed to grasp that knowledge never dies. It can be forgotten; however, it can also be relearned. Roxie, you are living proof of the Aigis’s legacy, and you’re about to understand how powerful you truly are.”

Roxie felt butterflies in her stomach. Nero sounded like he had every confidence in her that she could take on Nexus and win. His confidence gave her a thrill but she still felt scared. Would this fear ever go away?

Nero turned to Aerigo. “Your soul bears the mark of having unlocked Frava. You are one who could take on my mantle and become the next keeper of Frava, if such a responsibility appeals to you.”

Aerigo looked at Roxie, his mouth ajar.

Her heart began pounding. Aerigo looked like the idea appealed to him, but he was feeling torn between that and his decision to become her spirit guardian. Of course such a responsibility appealed to him. He was selfless like that. “You don’t have to become my spirit guardian, Aerigo.” Those words made her heart ache.

Nero said, “I never said such a role had to conflict with preexisting promises. I can wait until after you grow old and die. A few thousand years is but a drop in all the time I’ve existed.” Aerigo’s face brightened. “I’d be honored to take over.”

“Thank you. It feels like the universe stands at the cusp of great change. I find this an appropriate time to make retirement arrangements.” He smiled. “Now Roxie,” he said seriously, his smile disappearing, “those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. I wish to show you the War of Creationism and how Aigis ended it.”

“War of Creationism?”

“Ah, you haven’t had a chance to learn this bit of history. Your maker has done you a disservice. Either that or he wasn’t one of the gods who’d been there. But no matter. Not all gods that live today had come into existence during my time. And not all gods that lived during my time are still around today, a good many of them because of Aigis, sadly.” He said the last bit with mourning in his voice. “As Ron told you, I’m one of the first Aigis to harness the power of Frava, endowed on us by our maker, Olod. There are generations preceding mine that helped shape our power into what you now control. They are the building blocks of all Aigis. I have honored their memory all this time.

“Aigis were created because the gods were at odds with each other over what the laws of creation should be. They were unable to agree using rhetoric, or simply chose to create more conflict by disagreeing. Some believed there should be nothing but gods populating the universe. Gods are not above hubris.”

“You make them sound so human,” Roxie said. She was struggling to believe divine beings could be so... imperfect, selfish.

“Mortals are created in their own image. We are no less perfect than them. Every world, every society, every culture has preconceived notions of what gods should be like, and how they view mortals. We have a tendency to depict them as mightier than they truly are. However, don’t underestimate their strength of will. That’s what makes them gods. I could lecture you for centuries on this but I shan’t. All you need to know is that their strength of will cannot be overstated, and Aigis are the only mortals who can match such strength. Roxie, you have all the power you need to win, so let me show you a reenactment of the War of Creationism.” He raised a hand. “Fair warning, what you are about to see will be presented in a way you can understand. Back then, gods and mortals, including us Aigis, were just energy with thoughts of our own. Will and imagination has shaped the universe into what it is today. Just like my current form, all individuals you’ll see in this reenactment will take on shapes that meet your expectations, and only yours. If I were to do this for Aerigo, all of you would see what he’d expect to see.”

“I think I understand,” Roxie said. Since all life on Earth had evolved from microorganisms into the intricate, beautiful world it was today, maybe gods had evolved with their creations. All life was energy in one form or another.

Nero nodded. “That you do, my dear Aigis.” Closing his eyes, he held his hands in front of his waist like he was bracing against a desk or table, then inhaled and flung his hands above his head.

The rocky plain and body of water vanished, getting replaced by outer space. Stars surrounded them, lightyears away. It looked like Roxie and the others were standing on nothing, but she could still feel the rock under her feet. She tapped the ground with a toe and it held firm, even though blackness dotted with stars splayed out below her. It looked like she’d been immersed in a virtual reality of outer space.

Hundreds of figures, divided into two groups, manifested on either side of them, separated by the space of a football field. Roxie and the others stood in the middle of where the gods would clash if they met head-on. The figures, all humanoid, varied in appearance like all the Aigis had, a representative from every populated world.

“The gods had started creating mortals several times before this war. Each time they tried, they had to start over, dissatisfied with what they made. Your world calls it the Big Bang theory. Imagine the universe compressing and exploding several times before finally becoming what it is today.

“When gods began designing how the mortal realm functioned, they learned that their choices affected all of the mortal realm. Everything is connected like one large piece of fabric, hence the phrase ‘the fabric of reality.’ Disagreement tore up this fabric, making the universe too unstable to sustain life, forcing them to wipe everything out and start over. I apologize for this possibly being difficult to envision or understand; however, it’s important that you know there was a buildup to this conflict, and that it led to the need to create Aigis.”

“How were we needed?” From what Nero had explained so far, it didn’t make any sense.

“No god can kill another. They made it an impossibility because such killing tore horrible rends in the fabric of reality.”

“Then how is it different if an Aigis kills a god?”

“There are still grave consequences,” Nero said. “Yet we can help repair the damage. Since Nexus lacks the power of a Creator, you need not worry about such consequences. I don’t have adequate time to explain them to you. Whatever you do, don’t hold back against Nexus.”

“I won’t.” One god’s death for the sake of saving so many lives was worth it. It was going to be strange seeing Nexus again and knowing she’d be attempting to kill him. She was going to need her emotionally detached state she’d slipped into when she’d stabbed her mother.

“Now, watch closely and study how gods fight.”

The opposing sides slowly fell into motion like a train rolling out of a station. The gods moved in slow motion at first, building in speed as they closed in on Roxie and crew, fists leading the way, teeth bared, bloodlust in their eyes of varying shapes and colors. Roxie wanted to move from her spot so she wouldn’t be in the way of the fighting, but Nero held his ground, unalarmed by their location. She braced herself, ready to move if the reenactment could knock her around.

Questionable safety aside, Roxie wasn’t sure what she was looking for but she watched carefully as the first gods clashed with deadly ferocity. The momentum of the fight unfolded faster and faster, until they built up to superhuman speed, clashing with silent explosions of energy. No sound came from the fighting, no voices, booms, or anything.

Roxie mentally smacked her forehead. Of course there was no sound. The gods were fighting in outer space, meaning there were no air molecules to carry sound. It was a little disconcerting to watch so much going on with no sound accompanying it, but she pushed the oddness aside and tried to see what was unique about gods fighting gods. So far, she couldn’t see anything different. They fought like mortals who had no martial skills.

“Look more closely, Roxie,” Nero said, placing a giant hand on her back. “Use
all
your senses.”

There was nothing to hear or smell, and she watched as much as she could. Nothing to touch or taste. She closed her eyes and tried using her mind vision but she discerned nothing extra to the way they fought. The lack of results annoyed her. What else could she possibly sense? Aerigo hadn’t taught her anything else.

Wait.

During her struggle with her mother, she’d... Roxie imagined herself joining the fray and slipped into her emotionally detached state. Nero had made it clear that Frava gave her all the power she needed. When she’d almost died from losing too much energy, she’d used sheer strength of will to bring herself back. And when she’d done that, she’d sensed her mother’s and the shadow people’s wills, what they’d wanted in that moment. She’d
sensed
what they’d willed.