Determined To Live (4 page)

Damn you, Will!

Come on!

Please!

Just as the zombies
turn onto the main street, Will runs out of the narrow opening
between the bank and the post office next door. I see him turn his
head in the direction of the undead, and he stumbles when he notices
that these zombies aren't the slow ones we're all used to. He makes
eye contact with me and I throw my door open, screaming at him to get
in. I scoot closer to Jake to give Will room to do just that, but
it's too late. The zombies are here.

I scream for Will.
I scream because a zombie is at the open truck door, desperately
grabbing for me. I turn, pressing my back against Jake, and start
kicking the awful thing with my cast. His mouth comes down hard and
fast on my cast. I see - and hear - a couple of his teeth pop out.

He moves his mouth
down my cast, looking for something he can chew on. When he gets
almost to the top of my foot, I remember I have toes down there.
Bare
toes down there! I jerk my leg out of his grasp and fast as lighting,
slam the bottom of my foot into his face. He falls back, giving me
just enough time to throw by body across the seat and slam the door
shut.

My eyes search
wildly for Will, and I finally see him at the top of the bank stairs
- his sword out and ready. Even the runners can't quite manage to
climb the stairs, though not from lack of trying. I whip my body
around to Jake, the incredible terror causing me to shake, and my
mind flies in a hundred different directions looking for a way to
save Will. Jake grabs me and pulls me to him.

"Canada, calm
down! We'll get him out of this, I promise."

I start crying like
an idiot, the emotions I'm feeling are too much.
I
can't think of a single thing to help my husband.
There are just too many
zombies!

Jake crushes me
against his chest, then with a palm on both sides of my face, he
looks intently into my eyes. "We are going to get him out of
there. Do you understand me?" His voice is so sure - so strong -
that I believe every word. I nod my head, and the next thing I know,
his lips are crushing my own. I jerk away from him, and the terror is
now replaced with anger.

"You stupid
asshole! What the hell do you think you're doing!" I scream and
hit him in the chest.

He grabs my hand
before I can hit him again, and grins at me.

That's right. He
frikken
grinned
at me!

"I was getting
Canada, my amazing little badass, back."

"You're an
insane son of a bi― Oh."

I get it now.

I look back at Will
to make sure he's still ok - and hadn't seen the kiss - but he's
looking right at us.

Of course he is!
Great. Just frikken great. I'll deal with that later, not now.

Jake and I quickly
come up with a plan, then Jake moves to the top of the truck and I
slide under the wheel. When I hear Jake's fist bang on the roof, I
back the truck up, turn the wheels to the right, and jump the curb. I
drive across the sidewalk until I get to the stairs, where I then
back the truck into the space between the bank and the post office
next door.

So what if a few
bodies were run over in the process?

Will climbs up onto
the railing and hesitates when Jake offers a hand to help him up. I
hold my breath and watch as Will chooses not to touch Jake, and
climbs up all on his own. I hear some swearing, some grunts, and the
thuds of fists meeting flesh. I scream at them to stop being idiots
and to get inside...
then
they can kill each other.

They don't hear me
- or don't care - so I have to climb over the seat and stand on one
foot to see them through the opening in the roof. Will's on top of
Jake with his hands around Jake's neck; Jake is lying on the roof
with his own hands squeezing Will's throat. Both of their faces are
bright red and both are going to kill each other.

I'm gonna kill
them myself, I swear!

I scream at them to
stop, but they ignore me. The truck is rocking now from the zombies,
and I'm just waiting for the idiotic men on the roof to go rolling
off the side. Even though I'm pissed off, I'm also scared. I don't
want anything to happen to them, obviously. So I pull myself up unto
the roof...
somehow
.
With all that weight from the cast - not to mention my own weight -
it takes me awhile. I finally make it up, but I have to lay on the
roof for a few seconds to get my breath back.

When I can breathe
and move, I turn over and crawl to the guys, and find them both
passed out. I shake my head, disgusted with these two full-grown
morons. They're both breathing, although a little rough, but they're
alive. After the fourth slap Will finally wakes up - and yes, the
slaps may have been a little harder than they needed to be, but
damn
!

When he gets some
sense back and realizes he's laying on top of Jake, he flings himself
off and sits up a few feet away, rubbing his throat. I glare at him -
after making sure he's ok - and turn back to Jake. I slap him only
twice -
yes, he got it hard
too, maybe a little harder
- before he wakes up. He reaches for me, but I lean back out of his
reach and crawl back to the hole in the roof.

"If you two
moronic jackasses are done trying to kill each other, we need to get
out of here. There are a whole hell of a lot more coming." Just
before I duck my head down, I add, "Unless you'd rather stay up
here and continue your nap and cuddle."

I knew that would
get them moving, and before I can even get over the seat, they're
both inside with me. Jake pushes my butt to help me over the front
seat. Of course, that gets them fighting again when Will takes
offense to Jake's hands on my ass. This fight doesn't last very long,
probably because of the amount of zombies now surrounding the truck,
making it rock back and forth even harder, and making one hell of a
noise on the windows and body of the truck.

We look around at
the zombies as Jake turns the screwdriver and starts the truck. We
pull away from the freaky undead and they follow. I give Jake
instructions to get to the highway by taking a back way. No matter
how fast they are, the zombies still on the highway - which I'm sure
most of them are - won't make it that far fast enough to beat us as
we cross the highway to the town on the other side. Beyond that town,
we can find and meet up with the others.

I pull out the
picture Sara had made which has caused so many problems. At first,
Will refuses to look at the photo.

"Put that damn
thing away. Seeing it once was enough for me. Are you wanting me to
get the hell back out of this truck?"

I
sigh and say, "Will, stop being a stubborn ass! Just look at the
damn thing. It's
not
us! Look at my head."

He finally does and
sees the problem.

"Oh my God,"
he mumbles as he runs a hand down his face. "I'm so sorry. But
I― I thought―" he struggles for the words.

"I
know what you thought, and I know
why
you thought it. It's ok, Will. But don't do this again without at
least giving me a chance to explain," I order him.

He embraces me and
holds on tight, promising me he will. I wrap my arms around him and
kiss him deeply. He continues apologizing to me.

"Stop
it, Will. It's ok.
You're
ok. We're
all
ok. That's all that matters now."

"I'm sorry,
Canada. Jake." Will's apology to Jake isn't even close to being
as sincere, or as heartfelt, as his apology to me was.

"Forget about
it. We got bigger things to worry about now," Jake says.

I grab my phone off
the dash and notice a missed call from my sister. But first I dial my
brothers and all the others that are out looking for Will. They're
all relieved he's been found safe and alive, but my brothers threaten
to kick his ass when they see him. They're only half-joking.

Then I dial my
sister.

"Hey sis. We
found Will and are now on our way to Hill City. I'll call when we get
there to find out where you are. You did all get away safely, right?"

"That's what I
tried calling you about." Her voice sounds strange, and it makes
my stomach dip.

"What's
wrong? What happened?" I ask her. Terrified someone, a family
member -
My kids!
- were hurt.

"Well, I went
to the barn to tell Sara to get her ass out of there, and get into a
vehicle," she pauses.

"
And
?"
I impatiently ask her.

My interest or
concern for Sara, after all she's done, is sorely lacking.

"Well, seems
she was beaten," Rose responds.

"Yep.
And
?
What the hell did you
think
was going to happen when I went out there?" I ask her.

"Well, she was
also dead."

My body turns cold
and my mind stops working for several long moments.

How can that be?

I didn't kill
her!

She was beaten,
sure. But I didn't
kill
her!

She was moaning
in pain.

She was moving
when I left.

"Rose, I
didn't kill her. I swear I didn't! She was still alive when I left
her!" I desperately need her to believe me.

"You know,
sometimes it takes awhile for a person to die after a beating. And a
gunshot to the head usually ensures it," Rose sounds cold,
hateful almost.

"But
I
didn't
shoot her! I never pulled my gun!"

"Is
it possible - in the condition you were in - that you
did
shoot
her, and just don't remember it?" she asks me.

"No! No, I
remember it all," I insist.

But then I become
unsure.

I tell her I'll
talk to her when we meet up, then I end the call before she can say
another word.

Will and Jake ask
me what's going on, but I tell them to just give me a minute.

I need to think!

I climb over the
backseat with Will's help and refuse his offer to get in the back
with me.

"Just...
please!
Give me some time alone for a little while.
Please?
"
I beg him.

He nods and turns
toward the front, giving me my privacy. I sink down in the seat, then
decide to lie down and let my memories of what happened in the barn
play out.

I remember
opening the door, the darkness, following the sounds in the stall,
finding Sara making the stall her little home. I remember entering
the stall and Sara's shock at seeing me. I remember her raising her
arms to protect her face and head, the screams and moans from the
pain of my fists pounding into her. The utter joy and satisfaction I
felt with each blow. And then...

I remember
washing the blood off myself at the pump.
Lots
of blood. But I also felt a burning pain in my hands when I washed
them, and when I checked, I could see half moon-shaped holes in my
palms. Not hard to figure out I did that myself. And then the blood
that came from my own nose. So the majority of the blood was mine
then, right?

Wait.

What happened
between beating her and washing myself off?

What happened?

I can't
remember!

Oh, Holy God!

I just can't
remember!

Confused
and angry - and beginning to accept that I
did
kill her - I punch the back of Jake's seat and scream in frustration
and fear. Startled, Jake slams on the brakes, swearing until he gets
the truck stopped. Not yet ready to admit what I did aloud, I squeeze
my eyes shut - as if
that
will keep them from questioning me.

I finally open my
eyes to see both of their faces looking down at me in concern.
Sucking in a deep breath, and letting it out slowly, I open my mouth
to speak - finally telling them how Sara was found.

"They think
I
shot her," I finish.