Diary of a Nerd King #2: The Complete 2nd Season - Episodes 1 to 8 (8 page)

It’s possible this whole work from your bed things won’t take off as fast as I thought it might.  I could see a lot of bosses not liking the “falling back to sleep” part.

Of course, that won’t matter to me, as I’ll be my own boss.  I could see it being a problem for Boogie and I though.  If we both keep falling back asleep while working from bed, we’re never gonna get any work done, and then we’ll never become YouTube millionaires.

I guess I still have a few bugs to work out of the working from bed thing.

Monday

I was looking forward to seeing Jordan today.  She was away visiting her grandparents all weekend, so I’m kinda going through a bit of Jordan withdrawal. 

I think this is what my Dad means when he says “you can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them.”  Boy, it sure is complicated dealing with women!

I’m a teensy bit nervous to see Jordan too.  I had a shocking revelation yesterday, and I realized I had better keep it to myself if I want to keep Jordan as my girlfriend.

Yesterday afternoon, Mom was watching Oprah on TV like she always does.  I think it might have been one she PVR’d because I don’t think Oprah works on the weekend. 

Anyways, I was watching the show with her, when I realized something that kinda freaked me out a bit.  I think I’m in love with Oprah!

I’ll deny it if it gets out, but I actually like watching Oprah with my Mom.  Her shows are usually pretty interesting, and sometimes I even get some ideas for our YouTube channel when I’m watching Oprah.

It’s actually kind of cool because not only do I get good ideas watching the show, but I’m also spending time with Mom which is good for at least a few brownie points.  Most things Mom likes doing are really boring, so watching Oprah with her is a great way to get some quality time in and keep her happy.

I’m not sure I would have kept doing it if I knew I this was going to happen though!

What am I going to do now that I’ve realized I’m in love with Oprah?  It’s hard enough having one woman in my life.  How am I going to manage two!

So you can see why I figured it was best to keep this to myself and not tell Jordan about it. 

She’d probably get all jealous and break up with me again if she found out.  Girls can be funny that way.

I know what you’re thinking.  It would never work out between Oprah and me, and you’re right. 

I know that, but tell my heart that!  It’s not like I want to be in love with her you know.  It just happened.

I mean, I can understand why and everything.  She’s beautiful. Those big brown eyes and that big smile.  I’m sure I’m not the first guy to fall for her.

But she’s also like, at least fifty or something!  That’s WAY too old for me.

I know that, and I know we can never be together, but it’s like those women on my Mom’s soap operas always say… “sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants.”

Anyway, the one thing I do know is that this isn’t something I can let Jordan find out about. 

Nobody can find out about this.  Imagine what Tabi would do if she found out!  I’d be waking up to find drawings of mine and Oprah’s initials in a great big heart with an arrow through it stuck to my door. 

Boogie would never let me hear the end of it either!  I can just imagine all the bad jokes he’d come up with about me having to go down to the retirement home to see my girlfriend and stuff like that.

When I saw Jordan in English class, I managed to act all cool like usual, which was kinda hard because for some reason I kept seeing Oprah’s face whenever I looked at her. 

Luckily, Jordan didn’t seem to realize anything weird was going on, and we got through English class OK.

Somehow I managed to make it through walking home together too, although it was REALLY weird when we kissed.  I opened my eyes for a second in the middle of it, and I could swear it was Oprah I was kissing! 

I closed my eyes again really quick and finished our kiss without Jordan finding out what had just happened.  That’s all I need… her finding out I’m kissing Oprah!

“Farts, Farts, and More Farts!”

Season 2 – Episode 204

Written and Illustrated by

Matt Ballard

© Copyright Matt Ballard 2012

All rights reserved.

http://www.diaryofanerdking.com

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Tuesday

I woke up this morning, and I immediately realized there was no way I could go to school today.

I felt the little invader almost as soon as my eyes popped open.  I lay there for a moment thinking “Oh No!” and then “Go Away, Go Away.” 

Then I thought maybe I was mistaken, that it was just my mind playing tricks on me.  But then I reached up and touched it with my finger.  That’s when I really started to panic.

I ran to the bathroom and locked the door before turning to look in the mirror.  There was no mistake.  Right there, in the middle of my forehead, was a MONSTER zit staring right back at me.