Diary of a Teenage Taxidermist (26 page)

Ethan gently put the taxidermy back on the blanket. “You’re the best weasel daddy.”

A flush bloomed on Robert’s cheeks, but he took out a thin tortilla wrap and started meticulously slicing off a few thin pieces of it. “I need to do my job right, now that you delivered.”

“Let’s give him a little photoshoot.” Ethan smiled, watching Robert prepare a tiny meal for the weasel. His heart couldn’t be melting any more. It was so cute to see Robert being so responsive to the gift. Within minutes, he created a miniature picnic on the edge of the blanket, with lids of small sauce containers serving as plates, and even a mock-mug made out of cardboard. His weasel version looked amazing in the setup.

“It looks weaselicious. Makes me imagine all the things we can do with stuff like this. We could do a rat tea party or theme foods with my projects…” Ethan came up to Robert on all fours and hugged him from behind. Robert responded with a low hum as he photographed the weasel, leaning back into Ethan’s arms.

“Yeah, we could buy some doll pottery.”

“We’re gonna have fun with this.” Ethan nestled his face in the soft fabric of Rob’s hoodie and kissed him between the shoulder blades.

Rob leaned back and pointed the camera at their feet again before making a picture. “I think it could be a fun thing to do together.”

“I have the best boyfriend in the world,” Ethan murmured and nuzzled Rob’s back. Now if only he could get Rob on board about the move to Seattle, they would be like two peas in a pod.

Chapter 19

Two months passed like a summer storm. Robert was surprised how smoothly he and Ethan settled into living together. Mom was popping in and out of the house as usual, and spent some time with them every few days, but for the most part, it was just the two of them. Fortunately, Ethan’s parents came around, and even invited them all to dinner, which was an incredibly stiff affair, but it was worth enduring for the sake of mending the canyon of doom between Ethan and his parents.

The photos of taxidermy combined with food were a huge success on Rob’s blog, and since then, he and Ethan continued to do more and more elaborate projects together. They fed off each other’s energy and bonded over their work in a way that Rob had never even considered possible. Even Chris was starting to get a bit jealous of the time Rob spent with Ethan. They were in love, had amazing sex and intimacy, but through having passions that combined together in such an unusual way, they could never get enough of each other. There was always a new project to discuss, progress to talk about, or an idea that would spur a flood of text messages.

Even school was good. Rob and Pat were carefully neutral to each other, and Ethan wasn’t harassed anymore. Some people still disliked him, but that was okay as long as they didn’t openly confront him. There was no person in the world who’d be universally loved. Robert was surprised that Derek, Ethan’s estranged prom date, actually kept trying to chat Ethan up even after he and Rob came out as a couple. But he wasn’t too worried about that since Ethan was clearly not encouraging it.

Robert’s grades were good, and he was anticipating the impending graduation. Ethan did find a part-time job at a local Choco Panda, and Rob always served as his chauffeur. It was nice to pick him up and brighten his day with a hug, or a kiss. Not to mention that Rob considered the uniform Ethan hated so much insanely cute. It was a black and white cap with round ears and a fitted black shirt with white sleeves.

Still, Rob was impressed by Ethan’s determination. He kept complaining about having no time for himself, yet kept a part-time job in the evening, went to school, and still found time to do his art. Sometimes, Rob was actually worried Ethan didn’t sleep enough, but those thoughts were dispersed every time Ethan sacrificed some of his sleeping time in order to have sex. Rob couldn’t get enough of this new semi-adult life, and sometimes his thoughts drifted to possibilities of life after college. He knew it was cheesy, but there were people who spent their lives with their first boy- or girlfriends, so why would their relationship be doomed just because they were young? He was positive that whatever happened, they would at least try to make it work.

When Robert parked in front of Choco Panda, he could already see Ethan’s lonely figure behind the counter and looking out for him. He still had five minutes to go, and Rob could bet he was dying to go home. But today, Rob had something to tell Ethan that would cheer up that sad panda.

He closed the car and entered the funky-looking shop, which at this time of night was rather empty. He greeted Ethan with a wave and smiled at him, walking past a group of teenagers munching on donuts. “Can I get some muffins to go?”

Ethan pouted and shook his head at him. “I’m still waiting for Becky to swap with me.” He tapped his fingers on the counter.

Robert grinned at him. “So, you’re not going to give me any?”

Ethan raised his eyebrows so high they reached above the rims of his glasses. “Oh. That wasn’t a joke?” He walked over to a glass display with muffins decorated with sugary ears.

Robert snorted and leaned over the black and white counter. “I just want some cake, sweetie.” He looked at the way Ethan bent his body to reach his favorite flavor, caramelized bacon and maple syrup, and smiled to himself, imagining how he could mold his body to Ethan’s.

Ethan meticulously packed the two muffins in a cute cardboard box with a manga-style illustration and handed it to Rob. “Here you go, sir. I hope your purchase is pandalicious. Would you like to donate a dollar to our charity and support the conservation of giant pandas in China?” asked Ethan in the most monotone voice imaginable.

Robert ignored the sarcasm and winked at him. “Make it three dollars.”

“Three? I am sure it will make some panda really happy.” Rob was sure there was a shadow of a smirk on that pale face though. They both knew which panda enjoyed Rob’s attentions more than anything. Ethan passed Rob the box with muffins the moment Becky finally stormed in through the back door.

“Sorry I’m late Ethan, my cat pooped in the bathtub,” she said as she ran past them and behind the counter, already putting on her cap.

Ethan frowned. “That is the worst excuse I have ever heard.”

“Don’t worry, I kept him entertained,” said Robert, slowly brushing his fingers over the top of Ethan’s hand. He couldn’t wait to tell him the news. He’d even taken his tablet with him so that they wouldn’t have to wait till getting home.

“Oh, I’d love Robert to
entertain
me.” Becky laughed and elbowed Ethan with a wide smile.

Ethan put a hand over his face. “See, Rob, this is what I have to deal with.”

“Horrible. I bet you just can’t wait to get home,” said Robert, winking at Becky, who grinned in return and pinned on her badge.

Ethan took off his cap and walked out from behind the counter. “Have fun, Becky. Bye!” He stroked Rob’s arm as they walked through the shop.

“Anything interesting happened?” asked Rob like he did every evening. He opened the door for Ethan and followed him outside to his car. He couldn’t wait to put his hands on Ethan, smell his warmth, and tell him everything. He was sure Ethan would wrap his slinky weasel body all around him at the news.

“Nah, I was just thinking about all the stuff we can do after school’s over. I can’t wait.”

Robert grinned and got into the car. “About that... there’s something I need to show you.” He opened the glove compartment and pulled out the tablet.

Ethan smiled and leaned closer from his seat. “What is it?” He already sounded excited.

“Gimme a kiss first.” Rob nuzzled his cheek, opening the browser. His heart was pulsing with joy.

Ethan’s smile widened, and he leaned over. His lips were all minty, ready for a little mouth-to-mouth action. “I’m always ready for this.”

Robert gently sucked on the succulent lips, but eventually withdrew and rested his head on Ethan’s shoulder. There it was, the classy layout of the website of one of the most famous fashion magazines in the world, showcasing Robert’s new blogpost, the one with taxidermy mice having Victorian high tea. His heart was drumming like crazy every time he read the short commentary. The editor called their work ‘unique’, ‘refreshing’, and ‘beautifully odd’. And the number of subscribers of
The Secret Foodie
had skyrocketed within hours.

Rob’s chest swelled with pride at the way Ethan’s eye grew wider. “Oh, my fucking God! Robert! Do you know what this means? Fuck! I need to check my e-mail, see if it got me new orders.”

“You’re even named. Look.” Robert grinned even wider and kissed Ethan’s ear, inhaling the sweet scent of the hair. He wanted to celebrate on the furry throw.

“This is amazing. Robert,
this
could be the beginning of something big. Isn’t that what we’ve been waiting for?” Ethan gripped the tablet and pulled it from Rob’s hands. “We have to work more now. Maybe contact some other magazines?”

Robert relaxed into the seat and pulled out one of the muffins. Ethan’s enthusiasm was endearing, and at the same time, Rob honestly believed his boyfriend could make it as an artist in the future. He had enough talent and drive for a hundred people. “Sure, why not.”

“Maybe we could do a project where we take the taxidermy to different restaurants and make mini meals out of their menus, and you could review the restaurants. We could build a business on that, make the ads more expensive.” Ethan’s eye was glued to the screen.

Robert sighed and rustled the little weasel’s hair. Visions of fame and glory sank the moment Rob thought of being a thirty-year-old person with little education and no qualifications. “That sounds interesting, but I don’t think I could dedicate enough time to something this big while in college.”

Ethan’s blue eye turned to him as he gripped Rob’s hand. “Rob… I was thinking about this. Isn’t this the breakthrough we needed? Doesn’t it show you how much people love your website?”

Robert stared at him, the muffin raised halfway to his mouth. Ethan was a dreamer, and while Rob understood that, he also didn’t think they could afford being dreamers in this economy. It wouldn’t be fair if he tried to convert Ethan to his point of view, but Rob knew he himself needed stability. “What if they stop reading it in a few years? It’s not like it means something to a potential employer.”

“But it’s doing well now. If we don’t grab this opportunity, it might not be there in a few years. You can go to college any time. Just think about it. We could be living and working in Seattle, you could expand your website, I am already working on all sorts of projects for sale. I earned three hundred bucks on the jewelry last month. I know it’s not super-much, but it’s growing.” Ethan bit his lip.

Robert sighed and put down the muffin. “Look, I know you’re passionate about this, but what will I do if it doesn’t pay off? I can’t take that risk,” he said, looking into Ethan’s eye in search of understanding. The atmosphere in the car suddenly became all too dense.

“So what? It’s better to go into debt, so you can do a course at college that you don’t even like that much?” Ethan pouted and pulled away.

Robert frowned, unsure what to make of it. “That’s what I have been working for all this time.”

Ethan slouched in his seat, silent for a while too long. Rob knew well what that meant. Ethan was trying not to say something offensive. At least he
was
trying. “But you’re so good at the food stuff. Why wouldn’t you try? It makes you happy.”

Robert bit his lip. He couldn’t deny any of that, and he was torn between Ethan’s logic and his. “How many food bloggers are out there? It’s not only about being good at it. You need to be lucky as well, and I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to build a future on that alone. I can do this on the side in college and see how it goes.”

Ethan turned the tablet to Rob. “Isn’t this a good sign? You won’t…
We
won’t be able to do it on the same scale in college.”

Robert pulled the tablet to his chest and sighed, the steady pulsing in his head starting to become unbearable. “But I don’t want to push you into doing it my way. You know yourself that you are the star here. I just... make food. You can’t even taste it on the photo,” he muttered, slightly deflated as soon as those words left his mouth. It was all true.

“But you make it look so good, and you take the photos. It’s most of the effect in that. I can’t take photos for shit. Rob… where do you even want to go to college?” Ethan took a deep breath and turned his head away, as if suddenly finding the dashboard fascinating.

Rob let out a sharp breath, looking at the panda mascot painted on the entrance to Choco Panda. It didn’t cheer him up for once. “I was thinking to go to the closest one so that I can save money on accommodation and all that...”

“But basically, we won’t be able to do projects together? You won’t have time for it…” It sounded like ‘you won’t have time for me’ in Rob’s mind, and he leaned closer to pull Ethan against his chest for a hug.

“Come on, I’ll always have time for you. You know that, right?” He pressed a kiss to the side of Ethan’s head. Disappointing Ethan gave him cramps, but he couldn’t just go with a crazy plan. It was about his future.

“No, I don’t.” It felt like getting stabbed. “You’re gonna spend your time at college, I’m not gonna be a part of that, and how often will we see each other? Twice a month?”

Robert pulled away, staring at him without words to say. “You’re really moving all the way to Seattle? In a month?” he uttered, hardly hearing his own words as his whole body went into a cacophony of nerves.

Ethan clenched his hands on the cap with panda ears. “Yes. I can’t just stay here. I’ve told you. Did you just think it was a fantasy?”

Robert drew in a sharp breath. It was as if there suddenly grew a wall between him and Ethan, and he had no clue how to penetrate it. Would Ethan really move out so soon, just leave him here? “I thought... it was just vague plans...”

“No, I’ve been saving up for this like crazy. I need you to be in this with me.”

Rob wasn’t even sure if Ethan’s tone was more pleading or demanding.

“Whoa, hold on. You can’t say things like that...” Robert swallowed the bile rising in his throat. “I let you live with me, I helped you... but you can’t just assume I’ll jump headfirst into this kind of idea.”

Ethan took off his glasses and rubbed his eye. “I know, I know, but how do you see this thing working otherwise?”

Robert sighed and looked through the windshield. With his pulse drumming in his temples like it did, he doubted he could focus and come up with anything. “I… don’t know. It’s a bit sudden.”

“It’s not sudden. We talked about it when I was considering quitting high school. I just see this massive opportunity, an article about us on such a big website, and I wanna grab it, but you don’t believe in yourself. I don’t get it. Everyone thinks you’re great. What’s stopping you?”