Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Big Shot (Book 16) (2 page)
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Authors: Jeff Kinney
BOOK: Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Big Shot (Book 16)
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18
But if I ever
made it to the
Olympics my story
made it to the
Olympics my story
wouldn’t be all that
inspirational.
inspirational.
Mom keeps telling me
that one day I
could be
that one day I
could be
an Olympian, and I
should start my “Olympic
should start my “Olympic
journey” now. But I’m
pretty sure it’s already
too
pretty sure it’s already
too
LA
TE
for me.
TE
for me.
For most
sports,
you
have to
start
playing
really
sports,
you
have to
start
playing
really
youn
g if you
wanna
be any
good.
So even if I
g if you
wanna
be any
good.
So even if I
got serious I’m sure I’d
b
e
c
o
mp
e
t
i
n
g
wi
t
h
k
i
d
s
b
e
c
o
mp
e
t
i
n
g
wi
t
h
k
i
d
s
who are
half my
age.
half my
age.
19
I’ve heard that in some countries they iden
tify
tify
kids with potential
SU
P
ER
early, and then they
SU
P
ER
early, and then they
send them
off to
these elite
academies to
train
off to
these elite
academies to
train
arou
nd the
clock.
nd the
clock.
I really don’t think there’s any hope for me of
becoming an Olympian. But my brother
M
a
n
ny
is
M
a
n
ny
is
only in pre-school, so maybe he’s still got a shot.
20
I’m not an expert
on this stuff or
anything, but,
on this stuff or
anything, but,
from what I’ve seen,
the kid looks like
he’s got
the kid looks like
he’s got
po
tential
.
tential
.
To be honest, I wouldn’t mind if Mom and
Dad shipped Manny off to one of those sports
academies. Because that would be one less person
I’d have to share a bathroom with.
21
But maybe
there
are
some sports
that
you
can start
there
are
some sports
that
you
can start
when you’re a little
older, and there’s still
hope for
older, and there’s still
hope for
a person
like me.
Because it
would be
pretty cool to
like me.
Because it
would be
pretty cool to
represent your country as
an Olympian, no matter
an Olympian, no matter
WHA
T
sport you compete
in.
T
sport you compete
in.
And if I won a
GOLD
medal you can bet I’d
GOLD
medal you can bet I’d
never take it
OFF
.
OFF
.
22
When you win a gold medal, you’re set up for
LIFE
. And, even when your Olympic career
. And, even when your Olympic career
is over, you can still make a fortune doing
appearances and signing stuff.
But the
real money’s
in advertising
products on
TV
.
real money’s
in advertising
products on
TV
.
And I’d
say
yes
to
EVER
Y
TH
ING
as
long as
the
say
yes
to
EVER
Y
TH
ING
as
long as
the
money was
good.
good.
23
The best thing about being an athlete is that you
can retire
Y
OUNG
. And that would be great for
Y
OUNG
. And that would be great for
a person
like me, because
there are
lots of places
like me, because
there are
lots of places
I’d like to visit and things I’d like to see.
So I’m not going to give up on sports just yet.
Beca
use
who knows? Maybe
I could be a
person
use
who knows? Maybe
I could be a
person
everyone looks up to.
24
Tuesday
It turns out I’m
gonna have a chance
to prove
gonna have a chance
to prove
myself sooner than I
THOUG
HT
. When we got
THOUG
HT
. When we got
back to school
after the
summer holidays, there
were
after the
summer holidays, there
were
posters in the hallways
announcing Sports Day.
announcing Sports Day.
They have Sports Day at my middle school every
four
year
s, and the last time they held
it was
year
s, and the last time they held
it was
when my brother Rodrick was my age. I remember
him getting excited about the competition because
the winning homeroom got free ice cream at lunch.
25
Well, this
year they’ve
raised the
stakes. If
year they’ve
raised the
stakes. If
your homeroom
wins the
competition, your
class
wins the
competition, your
class
gets a day off
from school. So that
has everyone
from school. So that
has everyone
motivated to
WIN
.
WIN
.
But the person who
wants the day off the
wants the day off the
M
OST
is Mrs Bosh,
my homeroom teacher. She’s
OST
is Mrs Bosh,
my homeroom teacher. She’s
pregnant and is always
telling us how hard it is
telling us how hard it is
to be on her
feet all day.
feet all day.
26
Well, I could use a day off from school, too. I
don’t want to let Mrs Bosh or the rest of my
team down, so I’m actually taking this competition
pretty
SERIOUSL
Y
.
SERIOUSL
Y
.
The thing is, I’m not in the best shape right
now. So, unless I do something about it, I won’t
be able to help us on the big day.
I told Dad I wanted to get in shape, and he
said I could start going to the gym with
HIM
.
HIM
.
I’m not trying to be rude or anything, but
Dad’s been going to the same gym for years, and
whatever he’s doing there doesn’t really look like
it’s
W
O
RKING
.
W
O
RKING
.
27
But I figured anything would be better than
what I’ve been doing for exercise, which is
nothing. So after dinner I threw on some
workout clothes and tagged along with Dad.
The gym was packed,
but I noticed there wer
en’
t
but I noticed there wer
en’
t
any people
MY
age
there. Dad told me that
MY
age
there. Dad told me that
technically kids aren’t allowed
at the gym, but
if I
at the gym, but
if I
didn’t call attention to
myself I should be
OK
.
myself I should be
OK
.
There was all sorts of fancy equipment that
I
I
couldn’t wait to try
out. But Dad said
it wa
s best
out. But Dad said
it wa
s best
to start off slow, and he took me to the area of
the gym where he likes to work out.
28
When Dad showed me his exercise routine, I
could understand why he hasn’t been getting any
RES
UL
TS
.
UL
TS
.
After Dad did a
few sit-ups and jumping
jacks,
few sit-ups and jumping
jacks,
he said he was
gonna go relax in
the sauna for a
gonna go relax in
the sauna for a
while. And that meant
I was free to
exercise on
I was free to
exercise on
my own.
29
But the
thing
is,
I didn’t
really
know
how to
thing
is,
I didn’t
really
know
how to
use any
of the
machines, because
they were
all
of the
machines, because
they were
all
too complicated.
So I had to try to figure things out for
MYSELF
, and I’m still not a hundred per cent
, and I’m still not a hundred per cent
sure I was using the equipment the right way.
30
What I really wanted to do was try out some of
the things with
SCREENS
on them, like the
SCREENS
on them, like the
treadmills and the elliptical machines. Bu
t
pe
op
le
t
pe
op
le
were hogging
that equipment
and staying
on longer
that equipment
and staying
on longer
than they
were supposed
to.
were supposed
to.
And even when I gave them a gentle reminder
that it was time to let someone
ELSE
have a
ELSE
have a
turn, nobody seemed to take the hint.
While I
was waiting to
get on one
of the machines,
was waiting to
get on one
of the machines,
I passed
the time by
watching
T
V
.
But the
TV
s
the time by
watching
T
V
.
But the
TV
s
were all
tuned to
some boring
business program
me.
tuned to
some boring
business program
me.
So I found the remote and changed the channel
to something a little more
INT
ERE
S
TING
.
INT
ERE
S
TING
.
I guess
everyone doesn’t have
the same taste
in
everyone doesn’t have
the same taste
in
entertainment as
me, because some
lady got off
th
e
me, because some
lady got off
th
e
treadmill to
change the
channel. And,
as soon
as she
change the
channel. And,
as soon
as she
stepped off
the machine, I
jumped at my
chance.
the machine, I
jumped at my
chance.
32
There was a big
screen on the front
of the
screen on the front
of the
treadmill, and you could
choose between all these
choose between all these
famous places to take
your walk.
your walk.
So I spent a
few minutes trying to
decide where
few minutes trying to
decide where
I wanted to
GO
.
GO
.
33
After I made my choice the treadmill started
moving, and I felt like I was actually walking
along the Great Wall of China.
But I guess the
Great Wall is
S
TEEP
, and
I
Great Wall is
S
TEEP
, and
I
was having
trouble keeping
up. So aft
er a whi
le I
trouble keeping
up. So aft
er a whi
le I
put my
feet on
either side
of the
conveyor belt
and
feet on
either side
of the
conveyor belt
and
took in
the sights
the
EAS
Y
way.
the sights
the
EAS
Y
way.
I realized I wasn’t making the most of my time
at the gym, and I started feeling a little guilty
about it. But I didn’t know what I should do
N
EXT
, because I was running out of options.
EXT
, because I was running out of options.
34
That’s when I heard
some weird noises coming
from
some weird noises coming
from
the other room, and
I went to investigate.
I went to investigate.
It turns out there was a whole different area of
the gym, and it looked like this was where all the
SER
IOUS
people hung out.
IOUS
people hung out.
35
I wanted to look
like
THESE
guys, but I didn’t
like
THESE
guys, but I didn’t
kn
ow
how
to get
started.
And
when I
went
ow
how
to get
started.
And
when I
went
around asking for advice
I found out that
nobody
I found out that
nobody
was in the mood
for chit-chat.
for chit-chat.
After a while, I realized the people in there
weren’t interested in helping a beginner like me, so
I was on my
OWN
. And the first thing I had
OWN
. And the first thing I had
to decide was which muscles to start working on.
I figured I should probably focus on my arms and
chest, because those are the muscles that make
you look like you’re in shape.
36
So I decided I’d start with a few bicep curls and
go from there. But I didn’t want to overdo it,
because at lunch yesterday Albert Sandy told us
about this bodybuilder who blew out a bicep, and I
sure didn’t want that happening to
ME
.
ME
.
It turns out I didn’t need to stress about it,
because I couldn’t even get any of the dumb-bells
off the rack.
37
I thought I might have better luck with the
bench press, but I couldn’t budge the barbell,
either. And, I have to admit, I was getting a
little
FR
US
T
RA
TED
.
FR
US
T
RA
TED
.
By now people were staring at me, and I didn’t
want to look like I didn’t know what I was
doing. So I started taking the weights off the
barbell to make it a little lighter.
But it turns out
you’re not supposed to
take the
you’re not supposed to
take the
weights off one side
of the barbell all
at
ONCE
,
of the barbell all
at
ONCE
,
because, when you do,
everything sl
ides off the
everything sl
ides off the
other side. And apparently
people in the weight
people in the weight
room don’t like loud
noises.
noises.
So I guess that’s the reason why they don’t let
kids in the gym. But it doesn’t seem right that
they kicked Dad out, too, because he really has
been a loyal member.
Thursday
Mom said that, when it comes to getting in
shape, exercise is only
HALF
the picture. She said
HALF
the picture. She said
nutrition is just as
important, and she’d be
happy
important, and she’d be
happy
to teach
me
a
few things
about
eating
right if
I
me
a
few things
about
eating
right if
I
really wanted to learn.
I didn’t feel like
getting a lecture about food,
getting a lecture about food,
but I jumped at
the chance to go
with her to the
the chance to go
with her to the
grocery store. And that’s
because I wanted to
because I wanted to
help pick out the
food we’d have in
the pantry.
food we’d have in
the pantry.
Whenever Manny goes to the store with Mom, he
picks the things
HE
wants. And that’s why we
HE
wants. And that’s why we
have all this random stuff in our cabinets.
40
No offence
to Mom
or anything,
but she’s
to Mom
or anything,
but she’s
TERRIBLE
at
picking out
snacks. She
always buys
at
picking out
snacks. She
always buys
healthy stuff that tastes
awful, and sh
e w
on’t
bu
y
awful, and sh
e w
on’t
bu
y
any
NEW
snacks until
we’ve eaten
all the
old ones.
NEW
snacks until
we’ve eaten
all the
old ones.
So lately I’ve been
having my best friend, Row
le
y,
having my best friend, Row
le
y,
over for “tasting parties”
to help me clear
space
to help me clear
space
in the cabinets.
41
When we got to the grocery store today, I split
off from Mom, then loaded up the trolley with
a bunch of my favourites. Then I grabbed a few
healthy items just to make Mom happy.
But it turns out
MY
idea of health food isn’t the
MY
idea of health food isn’t the
same as
MOM
’
s
. When we met up again, she went
MOM
’
s
. When we met up again, she went
over each item I picked out and explained why it
wasn’t good for me.
She held up a bottle of fruit juice, which I
thought was a pretty solid choice on my part.
But Mom said it was full of
SUGAR
and there
SUGAR
and there
wasn’t any nutritional value to it. I told Mom she
was wrong, because there was a picture of tons of
different fruits right there on the bottle.
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