Dirty Little Secret (13 page)

He wanted all of her; instead he had to take what he could get.

“No, I couldn’t have changed it,” he admitted finally. “She needed me. I made the decision.”

Cailin pulled back, caramel eyes shining. “Exactly. That’s what makes you the man you are, Alex. You would give anything for someone you love, and not just because of what they give back to you.” She rubbed a finger along his scrunched eyebrow. “I’ve known from the beginning that you are a strong, honorable man. That’s what confused me. My heart knew before my brain and my eyes could catch up.”

“Maybe.” Wrapping a hand around the back of her neck, he drew her in and took her mouth, delving deep, and in that moment he wished to the depths of his soul that he was free, damn the consequences. He tucked her head into his shoulder, not wanting her to see his face, the evidence of his struggle, but couldn’t help saying, “I would give anything for you. Anything. That’s what makes this so hard. Because there will come a point where the burden will become too much, where the secrecy we have to maintain will hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know.” Her lips, then her tongue brushed his neck. “I know.”

Chapter Ten

Cailin rubbed her forehead. The ache that had settled there after lunch was not going away. Excedrin, caffeine—none of it had worked. The simple truth was, work was getting to her. With the consortium six weeks away and Keane Industries’ research in the final stages of preparation to be presented, they were all working long hours. Her time at work limited her time with Alex, at least her free time with him, the time where they could just be open and together and without the pretenses that filled their day-job lives. She needed that time to stay balanced. Understanding. Resentment-free. Without it, she battled all those negative gremlins determined to whittle away whatever happiness they could find.

“Cailin, can you come in, please?” Alex’s voice over the intercom sounded almost as tired as she felt, which just made her feel worse. She was selfish.
S for selfish
. She had an awful lot of
S
’s. As she gathered her netbook and hurried toward the inner office, a stern talking-to resounded in her head to the rhythm of her headache’s pounding.

She smiled at Alex as she walked in, settling into the chair in front of his desk while he walked over to grab a bottle of water out of the hidden fridge near the seating area. Opening her netbook, Cailin worked on pulling up a new file while she waited. The silence didn’t bother her; she and Alex had settled into a routine here at the office, and she found his lack of talking soothed her—especially when her head felt like it would split open any minute.

The new file opened with a faint
beep
. As Cailin looked down at the screen, a sheaf of papers was shoved between her eyes and the waiting file. “What—”

Alex nuzzled her earlobe. “Surprise.”

Cailin took the papers and shuffled through them before she finally absorbed what she was seeing. “Airline tickets?”

Alex’s nose bumped her neck when he nodded. “Yep. You, me, and American Airlines.”

“But…why?” Was there a meeting she’d missed hearing about?

“Just because.” He moved around in front of her. “We need a little break. And trust me, in about two weeks when the research deadline gets down to the wire, that will be impossible. Better take advantage of it while we can.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

“For us to go?”

“For us both to go. Won’t someone…?”

“The tickets are for Friday afternoon, coming back in on Sunday night. I’ll let everyone know I’ve given you the afternoon off since I’m gonna be unavailable. What we do outside this office is nobody’s business but ours.”

Though that wasn’t technically true, she decided not to argue; she wanted this too much. “Okay.”

Alex looked very much like he wanted to violate their no-kissing-at-work rule, but he didn’t. His smile, though, stretched so wide his rarely revealed dimple showed on the left side. “Good. I’ve got reservations at the Hermitage Hotel in Nashville. Downtown. Five-star. We can have the weekend to relax, just the two of us.” He reached up and massaged her temples, a flicker of worry surfacing. “You’ve been working too hard.”

She scoffed. “I’m not the only one.”

“I know,” he said. “Thanks for letting me give you this.”

Leaning slightly closer until his face took over her field of vision, Cailin whispered, “Me, or you?” She tilted her head to the side and gave him a suggestive look, and she saw the moment Alex got her point. Heat surfaced.

“Both,” he assured her. “But I’ll definitely make it worth your while.”

* * * *

She just bet he would. She held on to those words like a lifeline for the next two days. Thursday night she made a special trip to the mall to shop for lingerie. For the first time ever, she anticipated going away with the man she loved. She hadn’t even anticipated her honeymoon—too much anxiety had surrounded her wedding and getting everything just right, jockeying for position against all the other June brides in a town where everyone knew everyone and every event became a competition. By the time the wedding was over, all she’d wanted was to sleep, not have sex, especially not sex that hadn’t really been about her pleasure—or even sharing pleasure—at all.

Friday morning she finished packing, then went in to work. Alex sent her home at noon, but he arrived for their trip to the airport an hour after she did. They were in Nashville by dinnertime.

Once they were safely ensconced in their room at the famous Hermitage Hotel, Alex ordered room service. While they waited, he feasted, literally. In a moment strangely reminiscent of their first night together, he seated Cailin on the edge of their massive king-size bed, mounded pillows behind her, then knelt on the carpeted floor, his face between her splayed thighs. The scent of her arousal hit her nose the minute she spread her legs, the tang an obvious aphrodisiac to Alex. He drew the lips of her sex apart, and without preamble, without even so much as a word passing his lips, he latched on to her clit and sucked her in hard. Cailin’s orgasm rose within seconds, her body shaking and surging, needing him closer, needing just that one tiny touch to drive her over the edge. Her empty channel pulsed. As if sensing the missing piece so essential to her satisfaction, Alex slid two fingers in, turning them to hook into her G-spot. Cailin went off like a rocket.

The next thing she knew, Alex’s mouth was gone, and he was pulling her closer until her bottom hung just over the edge of the bed. “What…?”

Alex shushed her, going right on with arranging her body to his complete satisfaction. Hooking her knees in the crooks of his elbows, he lifted slightly, aligning their bodies. When he bent forward, his thick cockhead met her wet slit. Cailin cried out as he surged deep inside.

The angle was just…God, just unbelievable. The firm sac hanging between his legs slapped just below her opening with every thrust, the crisp hair scraping the sensitive area over and over. But it was inside, where the hard push of his cock scraped her still-clenching walls, that made her eyes roll back in her head. Alex pounded her, his hunger palpable with every move, in every breath. His face tensed, and Cailin stared, fascinated, as the drive to completion played out for her to see mere inches from her eyes. Then the arm holding one of her knees bent, hard fingers grasped her hand, and Alex brought her fingers down to touch her clit.

Cailin startled. She’d never touched herself with a man staring into her eyes, and a rush of heat hit her veins quicker than anything she’d ever known.

Evidently Alex felt it too. “Fast, sweetheart,” he urged, his voice strained. “I won’t last long.”

Her hips tilted instinctively at the husky sound of his voice, firming the contact with her fingers. She wanted more. Hesitantly she explored their connection, feeling the wet evidence of her desire, the thin skin of lips stretched tight to accommodate him, the heavy weight of his shaft as he surged in and out without hesitation. At her touch, his breath hitched, his eyes glazed over, and he ground into her, hitting the opening to her womb and sparking a flame that flashed out of control. Her fingers flew, building the sensation in her clit as her gaze locked with Alex’s, and she savored the craving that built there in his eyes. And finally, strung tight on the wire of need, Cailin hit the pinnacle of sensation and flew back into the abyss. Only the hot surge of Alex’s release registered; everything else floated in the ether, unimportant, unwanted…

Until a discreet knock sounded at their door. “Room service, sir.”

Regret twinged as Alex kissed her quickly, then backed away, heading to the bath to retrieve one of the fluffy robes hanging there. While he walked through into the suite’s living area, Cailin tried to convince herself to move, but right now she resembled nothing so closely as a limp dishrag, so she stayed. When he returned, she still lay half on, half off the bed, just as he’d left her.

Alex chuckled. “Come on, sleepyhead. Dinner’s waiting.” He urged her up, into the bathroom, where he cleaned and enfolded her in the other fluffy robe while she resented his seemingly clear head. He tugged her into the front room still grumbling.

“Steaks,” he said, then chuckled when, aggravation forgotten, she flung herself across the room to lift the lids on the waiting food. The heavenly aroma of grilled meat filled the air, and her mouth watered. She’d told Alex once that she loved a thick, juicy steak better than any other meal, especially when a loaded baked potato shared the plate. He’d obviously remembered.

Annoyance faded, soothed by the fragrant offering. “Thank you.”

Alex shrugged. “I got dinner to please you. Dessert is for me.”

“Oh really? What did you get?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

She grinned. A challenge, huh? She liked this side of Alex. The heavy air that had surrounded him in the club the first night they’d met, the desperation in his eyes, had faded to a hard resolve over the few weeks that followed. If convincing himself to stay away from her took as much willpower for him as it had for her, that didn’t surprise her. Now that willpower had been turned into a determination to make their relationship—what little they could have—work. But he never lost that edge, that driven quality unless they were in bed, and sometimes not even then, she thought with a blush, remembering his handling of her not twenty minutes ago. This carefree aspect to his personality was new. He seemed happy. And she was happy to see him happy, silly as it sounded.

The chocolate mousse, they found, contrasted perfectly with her skin and complemented its salty bite, or so Alex said. All she knew was that concentrating on the nuances of flavor exploding on her tongue—and around Alex’s cock—went beyond her ability when he also had his tongue on her. Before long they were both hot, sweaty, sticky, and very satisfied. Cailin watched in dazed fascination as a tiny drop of moisture curved around Alex’s hip as he knelt above her, trying to catch his breath.

Good luck, she thought, lungs laboring. They might end up going back to work more exhausted, if happier, than when they’d left, if they kept this up. But after another shower and a short argument over whether or not she would wear pajamas—
what if there’s a fire?
—they lay spooned together under the covers, bare skin to bare skin. Of course.

THE FEEL OF her against him was like the softest silk. If he hadn’t already come twice in the past two hours, he’d have her under him in a heartbeat. As it was, he couldn’t convince his dick to subside, so he just cuddled the semihard length against Cailin’s full, beautiful ass and wallowed in the pleasure of having her in his arms. No saying good night, no sneaking around—they could pretend for just a little while that this was their life, that none of the rest of it existed, that they could truly and openly be together. That real life existed outside of these three short days, he knew, but for now the ostrich strategy sounded pretty good. Especially if it meant waking up with Cailin in the morning.

She reached down, and soft fingers brushed the curve of his hip and leg, tangling in the hair covering his thigh. Cailin seemed to like his body hair; she’d spent hours one night just running her hand across his chest. Or maybe it was just the freedom of touching another person and knowing she wouldn’t be rebuffed. She’d told him about Sean. The bastard hadn’t known what a treasure he possessed. And though Alex hated the pain her ex-husband—hell, everybody in her hometown—had put her through, he couldn’t help being damn glad it had brought her to him. Nothing in his life, including his friendship with Sara Beth, had ever made him believe in miracles, not until he held her in his arms.

“How did you and Sara Beth meet?” Cailin asked.

“Funny story.” He tilted her back against him, sneaked a hand under the soft mound of her breast, then laid her forward again so that it fell directly into his hand. Experimentally he brought his fingers together, searching for her nipple. The tight tip was in direct alignment.
Perfect.

He started a steady massage of her breast and listened to her breath quicken as he talked. “Sara Beth is a typical overachiever, but with a father like hers, that’s not surprising. In high school she was into everything: beta club, chess, student-body president, debate—you name it, she did it. Except sports.”

A slow roll of her nipple. A thumb circling her taut nub.

Cailin cleared her throat. “And?”

“And…she also just happened to make prom queen her sophomore year, seriously ticking off the wannabe runner-up, whose boyfriend happened to make prom king.”

“Uh-oh.”

“Yep.” Alex forced his mind to stay on his story and not the slow undulations that had begun in Cailin’s hips. “The girl—Roxie was her name…stupid eighties fads—anyway, she decided to make it her mission for Sara Beth to be miserable. The girl harassed her no end, which was fine with Sara Beth. She had no problem fighting with words. It was when the girl got physical that she had a problem. Her and some friends cornered Sara Beth in the locker room one day. Broke her nose.”

Cailin cringed. “What did she do?”