Dirty Old Man (A True Story) (18 page)

The dust from the previous fire blew around the living room as I pulled out the pan. I’d sprinkled the shake ‘n’ vac already so it would eventually get hoovered up. Pure logic helped me to get that fire started and before I knew it, the damp, rotten caravan was comfortably warm.

I got myself into the grimy bath and jumped out just as quick. I’d left the tube of shake ‘n’ vac on the kitchen worktop. If Bernie were to come back and find it, I’d have been in big trouble. I threw on my bathrobe and carried it to the outside wheelie bin. I had to remove the bags on top and make sure it went right to the bottom of the bin so he wouldn’t find it. I left everything exactly as I’d found it.

     I went back inside and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked as though I’d aged dramatically and my ribcage protruded. I cried at the hideous sight of fading bruises over my body.

I wanted to go home but I couldn’t. The landline was in the living room, all I needed to do was ring them and ask them to pick me up. They might have done but they’d say ‘I told you so’. The thought of them gloating made me decide to stay put, to go through the ordeal that evening with Stacey and Bernie.

     I took a blanket from the bedroom cupboard and threw it over the back of a chair in the living room. At least I’d have something to cover myself over that night if Bernie was in one of his moods again.

A knock at the door came about six o’clock and I panicked as the realization set in. Stacey would see the life I’d been living for the past few months; she’d get to know all about Bernie and how old he was. She’d tell everybody at school and life would be unbearable.

     Bernie leaped up to answer the door, it was James. Dopey, disgusting James; who’d bought a sleeping bag, a bottle of whisky, and a large bottle of vodka He handed Bernie a white carrier bag that he took through to the bedroom. At least I now knew why I had to carry all that cola home.

     “James is staying for dinner tonight and he’s sleeping over too.” He said.

I wanted to ask him what was in the carrier bag but I didn’t want to make him angry.

     “Food smells good,” he smiled, “you can’t beat beanfeast.”

Before I could answer him, there was another knock at the door. Bernie raced to answer it again as I chopped more vegetables.

     “Come on in petal.” I heard him say. It made me shudder when he called her that. Suddenly I had the strangest feeling that something was very wrong.

     I refused to touch a drop of alcohol, I didn’t dare. Stacey was merry before dinner was served. I sat on the floor in silence as they ate like barnyard animals. The alcohol was flowing and the three of them appeared to be forming some kind of bond.

I desperately needed to know what was in the plastic bag because I felt they were planning something.

My opportunity came when Bernie began to demonstrate his martial arts moves on James, presumably in an attempt to impress Stacey.

     “Oh Bernie, you’re amazing.” I heard her say as he threw James onto the floor.

I went into the bathroom and ran the taps, closing the door to so he’d think I was in there. Then I crept into the bedroom whilst I could still hear them laughing away in the living room.

I was right to suspect they’d been planning something.

Inside the bag were two adult schoolgirl costumes with some crotchless underwear and at the bottom of the bag was a camcorder. They’d been trying to get us drunk.

I had to get Stacey out of there.

My hands were shaking and my head was reeling from the discovery, yet I had to keep myself composed to think of a way to save her. I sat in the bathroom for a few moments and got my head together.

I decided to play along for a short while as things were progressing in the living room.

I had to act normal, fun even; and make those dirty old perverts think they had the upper hand.

     I poured myself a vodka and coke, I didn’t want it but it was a necessary evil. Stacey was falling about the place and even let James have a dance with her.

     “Welcome to the party mardy arse.” Laughed Bernie.

The sexual innuendo’s churned my stomach until they two of them decided they were going into the porch to have one of their special cigarettes.

     “This is great,” she slurred as she staggered about, “I’ll have to go home soon though Moll. I’m sure a few more drinks won’t hurt first though.”

When they came back into the room, Stacey told them that she’d soon be leaving.

     “You can stay here tonight if you want petal?” said Bernie, “Just give your mum a call in a bit and tell her where you are. It’ll be like a massive sleepover.”

I turned away and rolled my eyes. As I did, I caught sight of James’s rusty old tobacco tin and it gave me an idea.

     “Okay, I’ll give her a ring in a bit.”

     “Somebody has to help us drink all this, mardy arse over there won’t.” Laughed Bernie.

     “I’m drinking,” I smiled, though inside I was screaming for help but nobody could hear me, “it might help if we can have some of your weed though.”

I’d never smoked marijuana before, it never appealed to me but I hoped it would get me a few moments alone with her.

I could see Bernie giving me the evil eyes, but before he could protest; James had taken hold of his tin and started to roll two ‘spliffs’

     “Come on Stacey, you’ve done it before haven’t you? I’m sure you told me you have.”

She nodded her head but looked unsure. I knew she wouldn’t want to lose face in front of everybody else so I played on this.

     “You joining us?” I asked Bernie and James, knowing they wouldn’t because they’d just been.

     “Nah, I don’t want another one yet thanks.” James said, as he leaned back in his chair. He was repulsive in every sense. He had a mass of orange candy floss textured hair and a bushy ginger beard to finish off the look. He smelled as though he hadn’t washed for weeks and his hands were grubby and nicotine stained.

     “Can I have the back door key please?” I asked Bernie.

He reached into his pocket and threw it across the room at me. I moved out of the way and it landed on the floor.

     “Fucking useless, is there anything you can do? Can’t even catch a bloody key.” He laughed and the others joined in.

     Stacey followed me through to the back porch and I lit up the spliff. I knew I would have about three minutes in there alone with her because that’s about how long it took Bernie to smoke.

I closed and locked the porch door behind us; I’d grabbed the front door key off the kitchen table too. Bernie and James were effectively locked inside the caravan.

     “Look Stacey,” I said.

     “You don’t need to say anything Moll,” she interrupted, “I won’t tell anybody at school that you live in a caravan with a man old enough to be your granddad or something.” She laughed, “They’re pretty sound actually.”

As I watched her struggle with the smoke, it hit me that she was just a kid, desperate to fit in somewhere. Her bi-sexual admission was likely to be a passing phase, and it broke my heart that I had decided to use it against her.

     “The truth is, Stacey,” I sighed, “I just don’t like your sort.”

     “My sort? I’m confused, what do you mean?”

     “You know, your sort - dykes. You’ve come into my home and eaten my food. I didn’t even want you here. It was him that invited you. Not me. Personally I think you’re disgusting.”

She was only around five feet five tall, that’s probably why they bought her costume in a size extra small.

I watched the tears brim and eventually fall from behind her oversized spectacles and I almost crumpled to the floor.

I watched as the cigarette burned its way down to the filter in my hand and I realised I had to act fast as time was nearly up.

I grabbed her around the neck, not tight enough to hurt her, but certainly enough to scare her a bit. I moved my face close to hers.

     “I don’t want to catch anything from you so why don’t you just get the fuck out of my house,” I sneered, “You know, Bernie doesn’t like gays either and when I tell him, you won’t be leaving here in one piece so I suggest you fuck off now.”

I pushed her towards the back door and she stumbled down the steps.

     “Tick tock Stacey, I’m going to tell them so you’d better get running.”

She looked at me from the bottom step, her tears reflected in the lamplight.

     “You know what Moll?” she snivelled, “I used to think you were okay but it turns out you’re just trailer trash.”

Her comment
cut me deep. She was the only friend I had in Peterborough, the only one who had stuck by me regardless of my shameful circumstances, and now I had to let her go.

Stacey turned and fled in a fit of tears.

I estimated it would take her less than ten minutes to get home to safety.

My heart was broken, I had never been homophobic but I had to make her believe it for her own safety.”

Stacey might have hated me but I’d have hated myself more if anything would have happened to her.

     Minutes later, Bernie tapped on the door; closely followed by James.

     “Are you pair still smoking in there? Or are you doing something else?” he giggled, “We’d hate to disturb you.”

I locked the porch door and went back inside.

     “Where’s Stacey?” Bernie asked, “Is she messing about outside?” He walked to the back door and looked out over the park.

     “She’s gone home because she wasn’t feeling too good after all that booze. She asked me to apologise on her behalf, she didn’t want you both seeing her in a state.”

He looked at James and I knew exactly what they were thinking. I’d foiled their plans and for the first time in a while, my smirk came back.

     “Oh,” was James’s contribution to the conversation.

     “You’d better get in here then,” he sneered as he pushed me into the bedroom, “James bought you something today.”

     I never did go back to school after that day.

     I’ll never forget the day Celine came into my life.  I’d been struggling to adjust to life in the big world, constantly surrounded by negative, self destructive people.

The cheap plastic phone rang out in the living area and I ran through the dinginess to answer it. Running through that mobile home was like going backwards in time; it was so disgustingly dated I thought I’d always be stuck in the past.

It was the silence of it; there wasn’t a damn sound to be heard. I’d grown up in a house with seven other children and was used to noise, I suppose it was one of the many home comforts I was missing.

     Since Bernie had placed an advert for the club in the paper, the phone had been ringing frequently.

     “Hello? I’m ringing about your advert in the Telegraph, I was wondering if it would be okay to come along tonight and watch to see if it interests me?”

     “You can but the instructor prefers if you take part. Everybody pretty much is a beginner there because it’s a new class. We won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. I promise.”

Bernie had told me that under no circumstances, were people allowed to just come and sit in the hall while he took a class. He said it was distracting for him.

     “Okay then, what should I wear?”

I ran her through the short list of things she’d need to bring with her.

     “My name’s Celine by the way, and I’ll be your entertainment for this evening.” She laughed.

     “I’m Moll.” I said, “I look forward to meeting you later Celine.”

After she had hung up, it was as though the sunshine had come out to light up the darkness. It was something in her voice, something that told me I was really going to like Celine.

I promised myself I wouldn’t mess up this time. I’d always had problems sustaining friendships with females. It wasn’t that I didn’t like some of them; I just couldn’t
trust them, which resulted in fickle friendships. I’d put Celine on a pedestal already and I hadn’t even met her in person yet.

     Bernie came home from work and asked if we’d had any responses to the advert, I didn’t want to tell him about Celine, I wanted to keep her to myself for as long as I could, I had no idea how long it would be until she too would become tainted by Bernie. It seemed all the women would fall for his bullshit lies. They were outrageous lies too, one of his favourite stories he’d tell to his students in the pub after class was from his days as a ‘biker’ during the times of Mod’s and Rockers.

According to him, he’d upset some people in a pub in Guyhirn one evening. He was on his own and suddenly the place was filled with mods and from nowhere, all his friends turned up just as he thought he was going to get a kick-in. The climax
of his story would be the part where he unbuckled his belt and swiped it across the faces of three men as he slid it out of his trousers, hitting them with the buckle. This didn’t make sense to me because I’m sure most buckles wouldn’t have fit through the small loops. Even if by some freak chance it had happened, he wouldn’t have taken three grown men out with it.