Disasterology 101 (14 page)

Jenny shook her head and moved toward the kitchen, looking over her shoulder to make sure Kevin was following her. As usual he felt weird as hell doing so. Soon it’d be two years since he’d moved out, but he still couldn’t get over being a guest in the house he’d half built with his own hands. The house where he thought he’d grow old. He missed the place, but more than anything, he missed sharing it with his kids.

Kevin sat on one of the stools at the kitchen island, gave Ava one of the homemade chocolate cookies Jenny always kept in a jar, and helped himself to a few. Another thing he missed. Jenny’s cooking and baking skills weren’t easily surpassed.

“Sweetie, can you go get your bag from your room?” Jenny started the coffee maker and grabbed Ava from Kevin’s lap.

“But we gots to talk about my birfday,” she complained, reaching over her mother’s shoulder to get the cookie Kevin was waving at her.

“We’ll do it when you come back,” Jenny assured her. “There are other things I want to discuss with your dad.”

“’Kay….” Ava wiped her hands on her pink top and turned to look at him. “I’ll be quick, Daddy. Promise no talking without me?”

Kevin swallowed his cookie and smiled at his little girl. “I promise.”

The second she was out of sight he stretched his arms above his head. He was dead tired and hungry; he was definitely looking forward to eating whatever leftovers Jenny had packed for him this week. She worried about him working too much and not eating well, so whenever he came to get the kids she made sure to have food for him. He wasn’t going to complain.

“I take it you started the blueprint class?”

“Two weeks ago.”

“Only two months, right?” Jenny sat two mugs on the counter and took the milk out of the fridge.

Kevin rolled his shoulders and rubbed his neck. He didn’t want to talk about said class. It reminded him of how badly he wanted to fuck his teacher, and the last thing he needed was to sprout wood in front of his ex-wife.

“Only two months,” he confirmed.

“And then you’ll be able to apply for the full-time position?” She grabbed the sugar from a cupboard and a spoon from the drainer.

“In December, if I pass the class.”

“You will.”

Jenny poured him some coffee. Kevin smiled at her. He really appreciated her faith in him. They might not be married anymore, but she still supported him one hundred percent. Kevin would be forever grateful their divorce had been amicable. They were both committed to keeping their split from affecting their children, and they remained friends.

“You look tired,” she said.

“My body aches sometimes.” Kevin shrugged in an attempt to dismiss her worries. “To remind me I’m not twenty-five anymore.”

“If you’re sure that’s all it is….”

“I’m okay, Jen,” Kevin assured her with a smile. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Fine.” She patted him on the shoulder. “I’ll try not to worry so much.”

“Good.”

“So come January you’ll have more free time.”

“And I won’t miss any games, recitals or assorted kiddy events,” Kevin said after gulping down some coffee. He hated not being able to attend every activity his children participated in, but knowing it was a temporary situation made it a little more tolerable for him.

“They understand this is something you need to do,” she said, resting her hip against the countertop. “Just try to show up for
something
in the upcoming months, okay? I know the schedule is pretty tight now that you’ve started this class, but it is important they—”

“You know I’ll do my best,” Kevin interrupted her. “I’m not going to disappear from their lives.”

Jenny shook her head a little and blew into her mug. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Guess I’m a little more worried now that—”

She shut her mouth, emptied her almost full mug of coffee in the sink and wrung her hands. Kevin waited her out. He knew what she was worried about. Ava had tattled on her five months ago, thus freeing Kevin to do something about his own sexual life without feeling ten different kinds of guilt. It wasn’t his place to bring it up, though. Jenny had a right to her privacy, whether their youngest daughter understood that or not.

She washed the mug, put it on the drainer and wiped the counter with a rag before saying another word. He couldn’t blame her for being nervous. She probably was wondering how Kevin would feel about sharing parental duties with another man.

Men.

He should say men, because if things worked out the way Kevin hoped, at some point his kids would gain a third dad. He wasn’t actively looking for love, but he believed in commitment. If he was lucky enough to fall in love with a good man, he wasn’t going to turn his back on a possible relationship.

“I’ve been seeing someone for the past six months,” Jenny finally announced. “His name is Will… William McCoy. He’s a great guy.”

“Are you one hundred percent sure about that?” Kevin didn’t doubt she was. He trusted Jenny to be responsible and not bring some loser around their kids, yet he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

“We’ve started doing things with the kids,” Jenny continued. She didn’t bother to answer his question, but she gave Kevin the evil eye. “I don’t want them thinking I’m trying to replace their father with another man.”

Kevin shook his head and drank some more coffee. “Why would they think that?” He tried to cover his apprehension by eating another cookie, but judging by how distressed Jenny looked he was failing at it. “I won’t be able to see them much during the week, but I’ll call them.”

“That’s great. They’ll be happy about that.”

Jenny knew losing his kids was his biggest fear. She knew not being able to sleep under the same roof with them was the reason why he’d been so strongly opposed to getting a divorce. And she obviously knew that he’d get worried about having another father figure around at a time when his own presence would be limited due to school and his second job.

“Will you be able to attend Ava’s birthday party?”

“Of course I will, but make sure you have it on a Saturday, all right?” Kevin requested. “It’s the only day I can be around to help.”

“I’ll do that.”

“I’m not sure I can afford the horses she wants,” he told her in a very low voice.

“Can you manage two hundred and fifty dollars?”

“I thought you said it’d cost five hundred.”

“I can pay for half of it,” Jenny said, suddenly looking more nervous than she did before. “That’s the other thing I needed to talk to you about.” She brushed her blonde hair away from her face and tucked it in a bun on the top of her head. “I got a job at a day care center, Kev. No reason for me to stick around the house now that Ava’s started pre-school. Next Monday’s my first day.”

Kevin pushed the coffee mug away from him and wiped his mouth. “Whatever happened to being a stay at home mom until she turns six?”

“It’s time I get some financial independence,” Jenny said, looking him straight in the eye. “Alimony is enough, but I want to be able to take care of the extras. Besides, the job is from nine in the morning to three o’clock in the afternoon, Monday through Friday, and Ava can stay with me after school. My routine with the kids won’t be affected at all.” She took a deep breath and trapped one of his hands between hers. “Will and I…we’re serious about each other. It doesn’t feel right to date him while I’m still being financially supported by my ex-husband.”

“Are you inviting him to Ava’s party?”

“Yes, I am.”

“And you’ve been seeing him for six months, you said?”

“Give or take, yes.”

“Then why am I just hearing about it now?”

“The kids weren’t involved until recently.”

In other words, whatever Jenny had been doing prior to that time wasn’t any of Kevin’s business. They were friends and had agreed to let the other know when they got serious enough about someone to consider introducing their children to them, but they didn’t exactly discuss their romantic interests.

“Are you seeing someone?” she asked, her voice soft and slightly trembling.

Kevin retrieved his hand and moved to the dining room that was attached to the kitchen. It was only a few feet, but he needed the distance. They had been divorced for a while, yet somehow it felt as if it was only now that they were splitting for real. Considering that other than him moving out of the house their family situation hadn’t really seen many changes, he supposed it was understandable.

Kevin took a few steps toward the hallway and leaned against the wall. From his new position he could see his daughters in the living room rummaging through their bags and making sure they had everything they’d need for the weekend.

The pride and joy that made him feel as if his heart was about to explode whenever he looked at his kids had to make some space for sadness this time around. Now that he knew how long Jenny had been seeing this guy, he was baffled and a little hurt that other than Ava’s slip of the tongue, they hadn’t said anything to him. Especially Brianna, who’d never kept secrets from him before.

“Did you ask the kids not to mention your boyfriend to me?” he asked Jenny once he returned to the kitchen.

“I did,” she admitted, her brown eyes cloudy with embarrassment.

Kevin carried his coffee mug to the sink to rinse it. “I resent that.”

“I’m sorry.” She pushed him away from the sink so that she could rinse the mug herself. Jenny always said doing chores helped her clear her head. “I didn’t want to make liars out of them, but I had to tell you myself and it took longer than I thought it would to find the right time or the right words.”

“I don’t understand why it was so difficult,” he mumbled on his way back to the stool he’d been occupying before. “You deserve the love of a good man. That’s the whole reason why we got divorced, isn’t it? Nobody’s going to give you shit for dating whomever you choose.”

“Are you?”

“Am I what?” Kevin grabbed another cookie from the jar.

“Seeing anyone?” Jenny dried her hands, put on some of the fruity-smelling hand lotion she kept by the sink and turned to look at him with piercing brown eyes. “You didn’t answer before.”

For years he had squirmed whenever Jenny looked at him like that, afraid she’d be able to see through him and discover the truth he was doing his best to hide. Not anymore, though. He wasn’t quite ready to talk to her about his attraction to men, but he’d stopped feeling like scum for thinking about it when she was around.

“I’ve been out a few times,” he said after deciding a general answer would have to do for now. “Nothing to write home about.”

“Haven’t found a special lady?”

“Not going to happen.”

Of course that wasn’t entirely true. He had found
someone
. He just happened to be far from female.

The hot Brit Kevin had yet to be on a date with was all kinds of special, but he wasn’t sharing that information. After an almost sleepless night of careful consideration, he was still wrapping his mind around his decision of getting involved with his twenty-six year old teacher. For the time being Cedric Haughton-Disley was his secret.

Kevin took a deep breath and tried not to think about Tuesday night. He was looking forward to their date with the same giddiness a teenage girl would with her first crush.

“It may take a while with your busy schedule, but I’m sure you’ll meet a great woman eventually.” Jenny’s voice and eyes softened the way they always did whenever she thought he needed reassurance. It was cool being friends with his ex, but at the moment Kevin wished she couldn’t pick up on his moods so easily. Thank goodness she was wrong about his real issue. “I mean, you’re a very handsome man. You’re a great father. I have no doubt the day you
do
fall in love, you’ll make that lucky…someone immensely happy.”

Kevin didn’t like it when Jenny brought up the fact that he hadn’t been in love with her. The subject made him feel uneasy and guilty. For not realizing he was gay before asking her to marry him. For somehow managing to be a good enough husband that she stayed with him for almost fifteen years. Even for getting her pregnant with his children.