Disasterology 101 (18 page)

Cedric took a deep breath and adjusted his gloves. Kevin didn’t say a word, not even to ask the guy to please slow down.

“See, my mind has been plagued with unwanted thoughts and feelings ever since, and I constantly try to get rid of them. I take precautions and it’s gotten a bit better, but being around others can still be a challenge if it is more than three hours. Sometimes I get scared and I panic. I can’t stop myself from doing certain things constantly, not even when I realize whatever it is I’m doing at the moment is excessive. Ritual… that’s what they’re called. If I don’t do something to fix what I perceive as threatening, anxiety gets a hold of me. It’s suffocating, to say the least.”

“Would you please look at me?” Kevin knew he sounded like he was begging. He didn’t give a shit. The kind of conversation they were having needed to be held face to face. Cedric must have shared his opinion, because he turned around slowly. “Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

Cedric shrugged.

“So what happens after you get rid of what bothers you?”

“I don’t. The threats never go away.”

“Does having a time limit when you do things help?”

“Yes and no. The time limit is one of my biggest obsessions.” Cedric straightened his back and shot Kevin a look, as if daring Kevin to… what? Show concern? Feel bad? Make fun of him? “I’ve been working on that, though.”

“What’s the time limit?”

“It varies,” Cedric admitted. “Depends on what is it I’m doing.”

“Give me an example.”

“I can’t fool around for more than thirty minutes, even though I never get fully naked with another man.” Cedric shook his head. “Am I scaring you yet?”

Cedric sounded challenging; taunting, even, but Kevin heard the message behind his tone as loudly as if Cedric were shouting it.

He
was scared.

Kevin didn’t blame him. It couldn’t be easy for Cedric to admit to a man he’d expressed sexual interest in that he might have a problem getting naked with him. Not to mention down and dirty. Kevin had no idea how things were going to work out in that aspect. Cedric said there were ways, but other than touching one another through gigantic tarps, he couldn’t come up with any.

“Not quite,” Kevin said. “Will you please continue?”

“No matter how many times I organize or reposition things, take showers, change clothes, wash my hands or stay away from everybody, I only get a temporary relief. It’s a never-ending cycle.” His words were getting faster and louder, proof of how distressed he really was. “Then there’s what I say. I have no filter. I open my mouth and things come out, and I’m always afraid I’ll end up offending or hurting people. When I was younger, I used to punch whoever dared to make fun of me. I tend to ruin everything…which is why it’s not easy to hang out with me.”

That last sentence was said in a whisper Kevin was sure he wasn’t meant to hear.

He was glad he did.

Out of everything Cedric told him, it was that line that gave Kevin the most intimate, accurate idea of what the guy’s life must be like. It also put some of Cedric’s past comments about being a professor and an architect into context. As deep-rooted as his problem seemed to be, it was logical that he’d spent most of his time studying indoors. No wonder he’d accomplished so much in his academic life at such a young age.

So what the hell was Cedric doing teaching a class at Metropolitan Community College? Why the hell was he torturing himself in such a way? Kevin had about a hundred questions he needed to ask, but now wasn’t the time. Cedric looked like he was about to fall apart, and Kevin’s priority was to take care of him.

“So you’re an oddball, then. No big deal.”

Kevin’s tone was teasing, but Cedric totally missed it.

He crossed his arms over his chest and gave a jerky nod. “I understand if you’re freaked out and decide not to—”

“I have kids,” Kevin interrupted him, his smile so wide it hurt his cheeks. “I don’t freak out easily.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Give me a chance and I’ll prove it to you.”

Kevin watched in fascination as Cedric’s shoulders relaxed slightly under the dark green button-down he was wearing. A smile spread across his face. It was tentative, but Kevin couldn’t remember seeing a more beautiful thing in his entire life aside from his kids’ smiles.

“Thursday, then?” Cedric asked.

“Don’t you have office hours from eight to nine-thirty on Wednesdays?” He took Cedric’s smile as an invitation to finish his thought. “I don’t want to wait to see you again if I don’t absolutely have to.”

“I’ll change the restaurant reservation.”

“Same place?”

“Yes.”

“May I ask why?”

“Because the chef is good and they’re extremely clean and conscientious of food preservation. And it’s pretty over there. They have secluded tables with flowers and candles. Good ambiance. I want our first date to be perfect.”

The more Cedric said, the faster the annoying butterflies fluttered in Kevin’s stomach. He didn’t even know when or where the hell they’d come from, but he was afraid they might be there to stay.

Expensive dinner dates would be wasted on him. He didn’t need to be impressed. He didn’t need to be seduced. There was no need for it.

“You know what my idea of perfect is?” Kevin whispered; his gaze glued to Cedric’s. “You and I together, getting to know each other in a place that’s not going to drive you up the wall.”

Cedric’s smile went from tentative to full-blown and breathtaking, and damned if it didn’t make those butterflies in Kevin’s stomach flutter faster.

“I’m going to give you my address before you leave tonight,” Cedric said. “I need at least thirty minutes alone before you can join me, and you’ll have to shower once you get to my flat. If you’d rather not be absolutely naked under one of my robes I suggest you bring a change of clothes, but I won’t be disappointed if you forget them.” Cedric’s dreamy brown eyes slid swiftly down Kevin’s body, then returned to his face. The naked hunger in his face stole Kevin’s breath away. “I’ll cook dinner for us. Be there tomorrow night at ten-fifteen.”

Oh yeah
.

Kevin nodded; fast and repeatedly. He probably looked like an idiot, but at the moment he couldn’t say a word. It was impossible to talk and choke on his emotions at the same time. He rubbed his hands against his thighs and swallowed hard. “Have you tried this before?”

“No. I’ve never had a chap come over to my flat. Well, there’s Roberto. He spends a significant amount of time there, but he doesn’t count.”

“Who the hell’s Roberto?”

He didn’t mean to growl, but he couldn’t help it. Finding out another guy was sniffing around the man he intended to claim for himself, didn’t sit well with Kevin. Fortunately, his reaction didn’t seem to upset Cedric.

“He’s my assistant, driver, and secretary when I need one. He’s also like a brother to me.” The smirk on Cedric’s was the same he’d flashed Kevin that first time at the coffee shop. The little shit knew Kevin was a bit worried about the competition, and he was enjoying it. “Not someone you need to worry about.”

“Anything at all I
do
need to worry about?”

“If you’re asking me if I’m shacking up with somebody else, the answer’s no.”

“I’m really happy to hear that.”

Kevin knew he probably shouldn’t have admitted to it. It was far too soon to be acting all possessive, but he was serious about getting to know the guy better, and he didn’t regret being honest about it.

“We need to get back to class now.”

Kevin nodded, and finally managed to ask what he’d been dying to since getting to the roof. “Is it okay if I get closer now?” He smiled at Cedric encouragingly when the guy took the first steps toward him. “Only for a couple of seconds.”

“We have three.”

Kevin grabbed the front of Cedric’s shirt at the same time as he slammed his mouth against the plump, pierced lips that were driving him out of his mind.

Cedric brushed Kevin’s hair with his fingerless gloved hands and cupped the nape of his neck.

A harsh, muffled sound escaped Kevin when Cedric took control of the kiss and devoured his mouth in three seconds flat.

Goddamn.

“I’ll go first.” Cedric’s voice was husky and seductive, proof that he was as much affected as Kevin was by their entirely-too-brief kiss. “If you’re more than five minutes behind me, I’ll write you up.”

Kevin was still grinning like a loon at Cedric’s parting words when he got back to the classroom.

There was no denying it.

Kevin was hooked on Cedric Haughton-Disley.

Probably had been since the moment he’d seen him.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Cedric’s building was one of those new places that looked as if it’d been built in the 1920’s. And when Kevin said Cedric’s building, he meant it literally, as it was built by Greenbriar and owned by the Haughton-Disleys.

The forty-story masterpiece with the limestone façade was a damn fine example of understated, architectural quality, and it definitely stood out from the glass towers and older structures that surrounded it.

Distracted as he was by thoughts of the night ahead, Kevin didn’t much care for details, but some of them jumped out at him. Like the glass-enclosed rotunda that served as the entryway, the very expensive chandeliers, and the gold trimming he spotted all over the place. Opulent didn’t begin to describe Cedric’s dwelling, and Kevin was out of his element.

He didn’t mind that the doorman directed him to the maintenance entrance when Kevin stepped in front of him, and he didn’t mind that the guy laughed when Kevin told him—twice—that he was there to see Mr. Haughton-Disley.

He didn’t get offended when an old lady he somehow managed to run into swatted his hands away when he tried to steady her.

He didn’t say anything when a girl who was dressed as if she was twenty, but couldn’t be older than twelve, gasped and smothered her poodle against her chest. She probably was afraid he’d do something low-class to the poor thing, like try to save it from an owner who dressed it like a ladybug… or steal the sparkly collar from around its neck.

He just rushed through the marble floor lobby, ignoring the startled glances he was getting from those he assumed were residents.

Kevin didn’t care how uncomfortable he felt, and what any of those people thought of either his appearance or his presence in their neighborhood. He was aware of the fact he didn’t belong on Central Park West, but as long as Cedric did, the rest was irrelevant.

The concierge totally surprised him.

He was in his sixties, slightly resembled Santa Claus, and unlike the rest of people Kevin had encountered thus far, his expression was kind when he looked up from his desk. Not only that, but a huge smile spread across his wrinkled face when he noticed the backpack and hard hat Kevin was carrying.

“Good evening, Mr. Morrison,” he greeted Kevin, his voice welcoming and jovial. “I’m glad you could make it, sir.”

“Good evening…Jeffrey,” Kevin said after a quick glance at the name plate on the desk. “How did you know my name?”

“Cedric mentioned you’d be coming by, sir.”

“I see.”

But how the hell did the man recognize him as Mr. Morrison right away?

Kevin didn’t know what to make of the fact that he did. Should he be flattered or offended? He hadn’t considered the possibility that Cedric could be a bit of a snob and might feel the need to justify Kevin’s presence, but anything was possible.

He could only imagine how that conversation could’ve gone. “
I’m slumming it tonight, Jeffrey. Watch out for a dirty bloke. He’ll be easy to spot. He looks like he should be working in the boiler room.
”

Kevin’s gut rejected the words as wrong the second they crossed his mind. He hadn’t known Cedric for too long, but something told him the guy would never use such demeaning words to refer to anyone. Not when he’d probably been on the receiving end of epithets for a long time.