Discipline (7 page)

I stood at the edge of the field with her,
Dad and Kelsey’s family while waiting for Jake and Shawn to finish
taking pictures with friends. Mom shrugged while patting her
freshly highlighted bob.

“I don’t know. If Ben
really
loved
Jake like family, he’d find a way to be here on such a special
day.”

I groaned. Because Ben once took Jake to the
occasional Knicks or Yankees game, Mom decided that they were
essentially brothers with an unbreakable bond. I never told her
that Jake only got those tickets because Ben’s friends backed out
last minute, and Jake never told her that Ben spent all their time
together on the phone.

“It’s okay, I have faith in him,” Mom
declared long after we’d stopped talking about him. “He’s very
busy, but I’m sure he could turn up at the house later. I think it
would be a big show of love for this whole family, and for Nina.”
She smiled, exchanging a look with Aunt Erin.

What the hell was that?
I tried to
ask but right on cue, Jake and Shawn came ambling over with Mr.
Davies, the assistant wrestling coach.

“So, is this family gonna pop out any more
kids for me to take to state or what?” Mr. Davies joked in his
corny, old man way. Everyone laughed. He’s almost seventy, so you
pretty much have to. “It’s a wonder Nina and Kelsey weren’t
champion wrestlers with this bloodline. I bet they would’ve been if
we ever had a girls team!”

If I had Coach Cole, then totally.

As Mom prodded Mr. Davies about coming to
the party, I peered over at Daniel once again. To my surprise, his
roving eyes met mine after a second of my staring. My body
instantly buzzed despite his expression being blank, even as his
eyes dipped to quickly look at my dress. He wasn’t frowning but he
certainly wasn’t smiling. Feeling awkward, I curved the ends of my
lips up, in just a polite and friendly way, hoping that he’d follow
suit.

Without a change in his own expression, he
turned and walked away. My mouth fell slightly agape but snapped
shut when Mom nudged me to start heading towards the parking lot –
something about needing to be home to welcome guests. Miffed by
Daniel’s dismissal, I was somewhat thankful for the
distraction.

“Glad you at least made it to my
graduation,” Jake ribbed as we climbed into Dad’s X5. “Guess
lacrosse finals weren’t a big enough deal.”

“Quiet, you. I couldn’t get off of work.” I
ruffled Jake’s mop of brown hair, though I quickly regretted the
mention Todos Santos. From the backseat, I saw Mom crinkle her nose
through the compact mirror that she held to her face.

“You know, Nina,” she started, taking her
time as she touched up her lipstick, torturing me with the obvious
beginnings of her nagging. “I don’t understand why you’re still
working at that place. It’s not even one of those four-star
restaurants. It’s a place where men go to look at the waitresses.
It might as well be a…
a Hooters
,” she said, whispering
“Hooters” like it were some derogatory word. “Besides, it’s not
like you need the money anymore,” she pointed out. She’d known
about my allowance from Ben, and she wholeheartedly approved.

I rested my forehead against the window.
“Uh-huh,” was all I said in response. I’ve never been a good liar
so I basically try to keep it simple. Not having to say words at
all is my preference.

“
Uh-huh
?” Mom repeated, disgusted by
such an improper reply. “Enough
uh-huh
and more complete
sentences, please. Real words, even.” She pressed on, making my
stomach turn. “I want you to answer me, Nina. Why are you working
at that place when you
know
Ben and I don’t want you to? It
upsets us.”

Ben and I. Us
. Gross. I said nothing,
letting the tension build in the air. After five seconds of quiet,
Jake whipped out his cell phone and started playing some game with
disinterest. Feeling guilty, I tried to think of a topic change so
his graduation day wouldn’t be filled with awkwardness, but Mom
finally broke the silence.

“I know that you and Ben were fighting. He
told me everything.”

“
What
?” Her composure confused me.
Had Ben actually told her about the breakup and calmed her over it
too? It couldn’t be, because that would mean that he did me a
favor. “I don’t understand, Mom. When?”

“I called him while you were out with Kelsey
yesterday. You won’t answer my questions but
he
will. He
picked up right away, unlike you.”

“
And
?”

“I told him that you’ve been acting strange
lately, so I asked if you two were fighting.”

God. Not fighting, just not dating
anymore
. I sucked in a slow, deep breath, preparing myself to
break the news — that Ben and I were no longer together. That she
wouldn’t get her money for the yoga studio-spa.

“Anyway, he was very upfront with me,” Mom
continued. “He said that you spent the past week away from the
apartment because you’re angry with him for working so much. But
he’s going to make it up to you, honey. He’s been distant for a
reason, and not one that you might think.”

Um
. I cocked my head slowly.
What…
the hell kind of weird lies did Ben tell her?

My chest tightened with suspicion. It was
never good when Ben made up stories. Like that time he lied about
taking an Akita puppy off the hands of someone from hockey league,
because he couldn’t just let it be abandoned. I was completely
attached to Jack by the time I found out that Ben had purchased him
at three months, knowing well that he had no time to properly raise
him. But I had the time. I’d just have to always be home, stop
going out at night and eventually quit work, which would be okay
because Ben would give me an allowance along with the money for
Jack’s food, grooming and vet appointments. But since he paid for
my allowance, I had better do anything else he wanted me to do,
even if it was unrelated to Jack.

“Mom,” I started, nervous and bracing myself
for her reaction. “I don’t know what Ben said but I need to tell
you something now.”

When I looked up, I was surprised to see
that she was turned to me, already red-faced and teary. “Just let
me show you something first, Nina, and don’t you dare tell him that
I did,” she hiccupped, placing one hand to her flushed cheek while
scrolling through her phone with the other. Only then did I realize
that her tears were of happiness – more happiness than I’d seen on
her face an hour ago, when Jake accepted his diploma. “Honey.
Look
.” She held up her screen to show me a picture – of
something big, sparkly and familiar.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

It was the ring. The five-carat rock I’d
already turned down, that Ben had no doubt led Mom to think was
still a surprise. He knew she’d lose her mind over it, that she’d
never let me turn down something so massive and beautiful. Even if
I told her about the breakup, she’d give me hell and rally Kelsey,
Aunt Erin and Woodhill around her until they all swayed me to say
yes to Ben. Mom was a force to be reckoned with when she attached
herself to something, and Ben was well aware of that.

“Nina, honey, he plans to
propose
,”
Mom gushed, completely over the moon.
Good Lord.
I closed my
eyes, her words confirming my suspicion of Ben’s insane
manipulation. But what she said next was far worse. “And I think he
might do it at Jake’s party!”

~

“I will rent a Zipcar right now and save you
from this fucking shitshow,” Em insisted. “Just say the word.”

I hugged my knees to my chest. My house was
flooded with more than a hundred graduates, parents and teachers,
but I was holed up in my bedroom, sitting on the floor with my
phone pressed to my ear and my makeup running. I opened my mouth to
answer Em but froze when a commotion sounded in the foyer. Mom was
cooing something and I could hear female voices gathering with
excitement.

“So,
this
is the famous Ben!”

Shit
.

“He’s here,” I grumbled miserably. Em
cursed. I held the phone away for a moment, listening to Ben’s
voice as he effortlessly charmed everyone downstairs. My lip curled
at his fake enthusiasm. I’d heard it a thousand times, not even
including his phone conversations with Mom. “God, Em,” I groaned,
holding my breath for a second to confirm the footsteps on the
stairs. “He’s coming to look for me.”

Em instantly spewed profanity, and loudly,
as if she intended for him to hear it once he walked in.
“
Tell
that piece of shit that the next time I
see
his
ass in the city I’m rounding up every fucking bouncer in the LES
and we’re all going to beat the pure fucking –”

She cut off because I dropped the phone when
my bedroom door swung open.
Damn it, how the hell did I not lock
it?
Upon seeing me in the corner with my cheeks streaked with
tears, Ben gave a good, hearty laugh. His large frame took up much
of my doorway as he ran a hand through his dark blonde hair,
raising his eyebrows with amusement.

“Jesus Christ, Nina.” He closed the door
behind him before strolling toward me in his Ferragamo loafers. The
fact that he locked it made me back up instinctively, but I went
nowhere being already pressed up against the wall. Ben laughed
again. “Runny makeup aside, you look good, babe.”

“Get away from me.” I grunted as he bent
down and easily picked me up, holding me tight against his body
once I got to my feet. I pushed against him in vain. “Why are you
doing this, Ben?
You
don’t get to decide that we’re still
together. We aren’t, so you need to leave me the hell alone!” I
shoved off of him hard, landing myself on my bed. He took a second
to gaze at my splayed legs before I snapped them shut.

“I miss you,” he said to my thighs. “I miss
having you in bed with me, babe.” He reached to touch me but I
swatted him away. His voice hardened. “Stop,” he muttered, annoyed.
“We had a argument, Nina.”

I gaped at him. “Are you kidding? Ben, you
were under the impression that you
owned
me considering what
you asked me to do. When I said no,
that
was an argument.
What you did after I rejected your ring? That was a breakup. So in
case you’re confused, we are no longer together and we won’t be
again.”

I pushed up from the bed to leave but Ben
grabbed my wrists and held me in place. “I bought a ring for you,”
he said, as if it were some sort of definitive argument. “I’ve
already made my choice to marry you.”

“
So?
” I practically spat the word
while trying to yank myself from his grip. “I hate to blow your
mind, but your choice is not the only one that matters.”

“Don’t drag this out for fun. If you really
didn’t want me, you would’ve left after the fight.”

“I planned on it. I was figuring out a
living situation,” I said through my teeth, hating the fact that
I’d ever depended on this man for anything. I couldn’t believe that
I’d stayed for a whole day after the fight.

Ben stared at me, his grey eyes steely. He
barely moved to keep me still when I tried again to jerk away.
“You’re not going to find anyone who can give you what I can give
you. You know I’m what’s best for you, Nina. Your whole family
knows it too.”

I stopped wrestling against him to laugh in
his face. “Please,” I scoffed, taking pleasure in the insult
already forming between his brows. “Whatever game you’re playing
with my family, you can stop it here. My mom can scream and cry and
badger me for months or years but I won’t let her or anyone else
pressure me into anything, least of all marrying you. So by all
means, propose again in front of her and my entire town, my answer
will still be hell fucking no.”

My chest heaved with fury as I caught my
breath. I waited for Ben to speak, daring to cock an eyebrow at his
silence. In response, his grasp on me tightened though he
unclenched his jaw to smirk with condescension, as if I were just
an insolent child.

“Despite what you may think, you belong to
me.”

I exhaled. “
Please
. I – ”

Ben silenced me with his mouth over mine. He
released one of my wrists to hold my head still by a handful of my
hair, thrusting his rough tongue between my lips as his free hand
clasped mine over his groin. My protests were muffled as he held it
there, revulsion seeping from my throat as I felt him get hard.

“See?” he laughed into my mouth while
rubbing against me, taunting me with his growing stiffness in my
palm.

“
Get the fuck off me
!”

I finally ripped my body away from him,
falling to my knees. My heels scraped the hardwood as I scrambled
to my feet, grabbing my phone and stumbling out the door and down
the stairs. Now I needed more than anything to be around everyone,
the chatty, nosy Woodhillers that Ben would never torment me in
front of. I grabbed the railing hard as I bounded down the stairs,
my legs buckling every other step.

“
Oh my
.” Bree Hannigan cast me a
knowing smile at the bottom of the staircase. She eyed my tousled
hair and crooked dress before giving me a nod of approval. “Keep
that man happy, sweetheart.” She gave me a wink. “I won’t tell on
you.”

The moment I realized what she’d assumed, my
disgusted feet walked me away before my mouth could explain that
no, I hadn’t been having sex with Ben in my room.
She wouldn’t
even believe me if I told her what he just did
, I realized,
nauseated as I gravitated to where the crowd was – the deck.

“There she is!” a voice trilled as I was
immediately herded over to the circle of Woodhillers that my mother
stood among.

“Oh!” one of them said, flashing everyone
the same look that Bree had given me. It made me feel dirty.