Discipline (10 page)

“Later,” Harry said quickly, removing
Adriana’s hands from his pockets and backing away to the other end
of the bar.

“You’re not dating Ben anymore,” Adriana
pointed out though she still didn’t look at me, busying herself
with bashing a big clump of ice cubes apart with the metal scooper.
“So why are you acting like I’m still some crazy slut who you have
to avoid? I know he didn’t like me, Nina. I know he thought I was a
bad influence on you and that I’d make you cheat on him or
something, or that I’d turn you into a lesbian — I don’t fuckin’
know. But you’re not dating that asshole anymore so think for
yourself for the first time in three years and stop letting him
brainwash you and tell you who to like and what to believe. I’m not
a dangerous person, I’m your friend. I’m the person that you were
your real self with, and don’t give me that shit about how you
spent only eight months out of twenty-one years being crazy with me
because those were the only eight months that you weren’t living
under someone else’s roof and letting them dictate everything you
did and said and wore. You
told
me that you hated your mom’s
snotty brunches, Ben’s bougie fundraisers, all those stuffy places
he brought you where you couldn’t be yourself. That you missed just
having a beer at a crappy bar and watching the Mets game. That he
didn’t have your stupid, silly humor and it made you feel
self-conscious. I remember these things.” Her laugh was bitter.
“Total shocker, right? Since I’m supposed to be the drunk chick who
blacks out every night because she’s only good for partying.”

I was silent. My skin prickled and my head
buzzed. My body was telling me to be angry for being told off, but
everything Adriana said was true. I just couldn’t admit it yet or
say anything at all because while it was true, it stung like a
bitch to hear. She cocked an eyebrow at me.

“And let me guess — you’re moping because
your teacher won’t hang out with you again. He got into with Ben
and now he’s scared of getting into more trouble, right? So let me
tell you what to do.” She stabbed the pile of ice with the scoop so
that the handle stuck out from the middle. “Forget him. If he’s too
scared to see you because it’ll upset the stuck-up assholes in your
town, then he doesn’t deserve to see you. Forget about him and just
live again. For you, not for Ben or your mom or this guy who’s too
obsessed with his image to get to know you better when he obviously
wants to. You’re twenty-one. You’re beautiful and you have friends
who love you. There’s nothing you need to be torturing yourself
about right now. Be yourself, stop letting people control you like
you’re a puppet or a mindless idiot and have some real fucking
fun
again.
Please
.”

Since I couldn’t put my thoughts together
before our shift started, the next few hours were quiet between me
and Adriana. I had said something along the lines of “I’m sorry,”
but I couldn’t help following it with, “There are things I need to
explain to you so you’ll understand why I was with Ben for so
long,” which Adriana snorted at. And inwardly, so did I. Staying
with someone like Ben for the sake of my parents’ financial
security was beyond inane, and I knew it.

And so we went through the motions of a
shift without speaking to each other. Harry kept giving us looks,
shaking his head and muttering “
women
” before going about
his drink making.

It took till past midnight for the silence
to be broken. I was returning to the near empty dining room from
the walk-in fridge when Adriana rushed to me, pushing me back
towards the kitchen doors as panic darted about her eyes.

“Nina. He’s here. Table ten.”

“What?” I looked up and past her, my stomach
lurching when I noticed Ben just ten yards away with two others who
sat facing away from me. “Shit,” I breathed.

“Jenn says we can’t kick him out,” Adriana
whispered apologetically, cursing our manager under her breath.
Once a waitress among us, Jenn usually had the girls’ backs, but
apparently not tonight. Adriana offered an explanation though.
“It’s ‘cause he’s here with Joey Mills.”

Of course Ben brought Joe Milakovich. Any
friend of Joey Mills’ was a friend of Todos Santos’. He was a VIP
and regular whom everyone loved for dropping exorbitant amounts of
cash and tipping thirty percent every time. He also worked at
Kinsley Weiss, the same hedge fund as Ben and had brought him in
three years ago, on what Ben had proclaimed to be his first and
last visit to a place so “cheap and shitty.” On that night, I’d
caught his eye and he’d taken my number before leaving after one
beer and saying something about how the chairs in our dining room
didn’t even match. After his early exit, he’d promptly texted me to
meet him after my shift at an address in Chelsea. It ended up being
a posh, three-star restaurant, to which I showed up in wearing my
ketchup-stained work T-shirt.

The following day, Ben had an Elie Saab
dress messengered to Todos Santos with a handwritten note on where
to meet him for our second date. Then, I was charmed and impressed
by the fact that he’d picked something so pretty for me. And so
expensive. I wouldn’t have guessed that within a year-and-a-half,
I’d hate him for dressing me.

“It’s your section but I took the table,”
Adriana said, instinctively reaching to squeeze my arm when my jaw
clenched. “Are you gonna be okay?”

“He’s coming here,” I murmured, staring past
her as Ben ambled over.

She sucked her teeth. “No he’s not.” She
spun around, marching three steps toward him so he’d stop before
reaching me. “This is the kitchen. Bathroom’s that way,” she
snapped, nodding towards the left.

Ben eyed her skimpy outfit. “That’s not what
I’m looking for, Adriana, but thank you for your help. You can step
aside now.”

I seethed. “Don’t talk to her like
that.”

Both Ben and Adriana turned to look at me,
Ben lifting his brows with a look of amusement. “I didn’t even say
anything,” he laughed. “And trust me,” he eyed her little shorts,
“I could.”

“Go ahead,” Adriana challenged him, but
right then, Jenn called to her from the bar.

“Ade? Twenty-one wants their check!”

“Bye.” Ben grinned as he watched Adriana go,
winking when she muttered, “Fuck you,” under her breath. By the
time he turned back to me though, I was already on the move, trying
to quickly follow her towards the bar.

“Get over here,” I heard him mutter as his
hand wrapped around my wrist to pull me back. Despite the table
seated near us, I violently flung him off.

“Leave me the hell alone, Ben.”

He heaved a dramatic sigh. “Nina, can’t we
have a conversation like two adults here? We never had the time to
talk about what happened. What I asked of you.”

I swallowed hard as I turned to him. “I
don’t even want to
think
about what you asked me to do let
alone talk about it.”

“We need to talk about it.”

“No we
don’t
,” I practically snarled,
hating the fact that I felt dirty and cheap from just thinking
about the favor he’d demanded of me. It was unfair. I hadn’t even
done it and yet it haunted me, reminding me of the years I’d spent
letting him groom me into his compliant little rag doll. My throat
tightened at the memories of my life with him. “All I need to know,
Ben, is that my suspicions about you were confirmed that night. You
never loved
me
, you loved that you could treat me like
property.” My voice lowered to a hiss. “You looked at me and you
saw a doll that you could dress and show off at parties and then
ignore for the rest of the week but fuck whenever you wanted. And
apparently,
lend
to your friends if you felt like it.”

“I wasn’t trying to lend you, Nina, I was —
”

“Just stop. There is nothing for you to
explain and nothing for you to gain from coming here. I don’t want
you and I never will again. And if it helps to make you leave me
alone, I stopped wanting you less than halfway into our
relationship, so goodbye.”

Turning on my heel, I stalked off, several
yards away when he decided to call out at me.

“You’re fucking your teacher, then,
huh?”

I froze and so did the tables eating around
me. The entire dining room was staring at me as if I’d been the one
to interrupt their meals.

“Christ. See what happens when you spend a
little time with a slut like Adriana?” Laughter danced in Ben’s
voice as he continued to taunt me. “Everything I taught you gets
reversed in a few weeks.”

He had no shame. And I had nowhere on the
floor to hide. So I turned on my heel again and marched past him,
straight into the kitchen.

My groan was something of fury and disbelief
as Ben followed, drawing every pair of eyes from behind the line.
The cooks looked at us and then each other, shrugging before half
returned to work, the other half continuing to watch us.

“You’re not allowed in here!” I yelled,
irritated by Ben’s audacity as well as the childlike frustration in
my voice. But I couldn’t help it. I had already lost all patience
for him at Jake’s party. My body no longer had the capacity to be
composed around him for the sake of the people watching us. I was
losing it, and it didn’t help that Ben was persisting with his
question, his teeth gritted as he followed me.

“I need to know, Nina. No one should be
touching you but me.”

“Oh my God, go
away
!”

“
Tell me
if you’re fucking him!”

My fingers tore at my hair. “
I’m not!
There’s your answer — happy? Now please stop texting me, following
me and acting like I
belong
to you because I’d rather be
alone than anywhere near you.”

A chortle came from behind the line. Ben
eyed the cooks whom I could feel laughing at him behind my turned
back. “Lower your voice,” he said between his teeth. “And calm the
fuck down. All I did was come here to have dinner and ask you a
simple question and look at you, you’re stomping around and
screaming like a crazy bitch. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

Fire burned in my cheeks. “You’re the one
who’s embarrassed and it’s obvious to everyone in this room. But if
you didn’t want these guys hearing about how badly I don’t want
you, then you probably shouldn’t have followed me into the
kitchen.”

His nostrils flared as he stared down at me.
He rubbed his dimpled chin as his eyes darted back and forth
between me and the kitchen guys. I glanced over my shoulder to see
several of them murmuring to each other as they smirked at Ben.
Todo bien?
Marco, our faux-hawked expeditor, mouthed at me.
I nodded as Ben scoffed.

“I doubt these fucks understand more than
ten words of English.”

Instinct drove my hand to smack his chest
though I preferred not to touch him. “They do! They’re pretending
not to hear any of this for
your
sake.”

“
Si, pendejo
,” Marco’s voice came
from behind me. “
Chupa mi verga
. Understand that?” he asked,
prompting roaring laughter from the rest of the kitchen. I watched
as Ben’s cheeks actually reddened. It was a worst case scenario for
his ego. He didn’t know how to respond and he couldn’t even
threaten to fight Marco — not with ten other guys ready to jump in
and help.

“What’d he say,” he muttered to me, trying
hard to be inaudible to them. I couldn’t help answering.

“Suck his dick.”

Ben’s cheeks flexed from how hard his jaw
clenched. But within seconds, he was acting cool and wiping that
famous smirk onto his lips. “Funny guy.” He nodded, eyeing Marco.
“Can’t find a girl to do that for you? Why don’t I give you some
pointers so you can have someone beg for your cock like Nina does
with me every day?”

“
Ben!
” My cheeks and ears felt ablaze
with instant humiliation. Marco and the kitchen staff went silent,
unsure of how to respond. Ben’s grin was beyond satisfied.

“Yeah. Ask her about the time she sucked my
dick in this kitchen. Right where you’re standing.”

“What the
fuck
, Ben!” I shoved him,
trying desperately to push him through the doors. “That never even
fucking happened!” My voice was a breathless rasp as I continued to
thrust my weight against his chest, but in vain. He gazed down at
me with mirth in his eyes and a pleasured hum in his throat.

“Keep doing that,” he said, grabbing my
wrists and pulling my palms downward. At this point, Marco had come
forward to help me force Ben out of the kitchen while a busboy ran
out to get Jenn.

But it turned out none of them were needed
as Adriana pushed through the doors with a tray of dirty plates and
water glasses. Her fiery eyes took less than a second to register
the situation. Calmly, she pulled Marco away so she could plant
herself in front of Ben, the heavy tray sitting on her open palm
and her elbow resting on her cocked hip.

“You have till three to get the out of
here,” she said evenly.

Ben snorted. “Or?”

Adriana plucked an unfinished glass of soda
from her tray and casually tossed the contents onto the crotch of
Ben’s jeans. His eyes bugged instantly.

“
Fucking bitch!”

She pretended to cringe at herself as Marco
and a line cook propelled themselves into Ben, who thrashed forward
like an angry zoo animal.

“Sorry I lied about having till three.”

Frozen, I gaped at the scene, words failing
to form on my lips even as Jenn came in to break it all up,
demanding for an explanation just like Mr. Davies had. She picked
the new line cook to give her his account of the story though Ben
barely let the poor guy start.

“Listen. Jenn, right? Listen, Jenn.” He
pressed his palms together as he stood before Jenn, suddenly calm
and mannerly in her presence. “My friend, Joe Milokavich, comes
here often and he only has great things to say about your staff and
kitchen. But I have no idea what’s going on tonight because this
one and
this
one,” he pointed to Marco and Adriana, “seem to
have some sort of agenda against me that I don’t understand. I know
I shouldn’t have come back to the kitchen but I had something
important to tell my girlfriend and suddenly, this guy was shoving
me and
Adriana
… she…” He opted not to finish his sentence,
instead angrily gesturing toward his wet crotch. Jenn looked,
biting both her lips back as she tried to properly assess the
situation.