Discipline (12 page)

Through the corner of my eye, I could see
Adriana’s fists balling up. “What the hell kind of person is he?
And this Dane guy? They don’t even sound human to me.”

“They’re not. At this point, they feed on
other people’s admiration for them. Men, specifically. They live to
be envied and they are because on the surface, they look like they
live a perfect life. They’re young, rich and powerful, but since
that whole group is young, rich and powerful, they feel the need to
compete with each other. Who has the best real estate, who can get
into the better parties. And whose girlfriend or fiance is the most
obedient, apparently.”

Adriana was covering her face at this point,
her words muffled through her fingers. “That is way too screwed
up.”

“There’s more. I overheard a conversation
they had once…” I rubbed my skin as I flashed back to a feeling of
dirtiness. “It was Ben kind of bragging about me and Dane about
Tory. But not in a good way. More so one-upping each other about
how good they had it with us. Ben told Dane that I stayed in the
house all day to wait for him and that if I fell asleep, he’d call
me forty-five minutes before coming home so I had time to wake up
and cook him something. And Dane responded to that with the fact
that Tory did the same, and not only that, she actually obliged
when he asked her to have sex with another girl for him. That girl
being his most recent ex.”

Adriana clawed at her hair. “I have no
words. I can’t even react anymore.”

“That’s not even it. His ex apparently took
a liking to Tory so Dane made Tory stay with her for the weekend
while he went to Vermont. But not before giving them a video
camera.”

“I can’t.” Adriana was actually rocking back
and forth at this point. She gasped for breath as if I were
exhausting her. “And so making you go on vacation with Dane was
Ben’s way of one-upping him? Proving that he could lend you
too?”

“That’s what I figured. That he saw how much
he’d gotten away with and wanted to see if he could go further with
me. And that’s where I woke the hell up and drew the line — way too
late, I know. We had a big blowup, I said I wanted to leave him, I
slept on the couch that night and the next night when he came home
from work, he proposed.” I laughed. “His idea of patching things
up, I guess. Because after you arrange to lend your girlfriend to
another man for a week, she’s
really
going to want to spend
the rest of her life with you.”

I exhaled long and hard, realizing how much
I’d needed to let that story out. It felt as if I’d shed something
disgusting, slimy. The skin of it at least.

It was that and the fact that he’d asked for
something so despicable just so he could outdo another guy. To
prove his manliness. It was beyond degrading. It made me wish for
the days when I thought that “degrading” was dressing up in frilly
dresses for my mother and attending some woman’s luncheon despite
knowing that she and her kids, whom I went to school with, referred
to me as “retarded” for getting C’s in a non-AP class.

Not that I’d do anything for my mother
again. I’d spent the past three years letting Ben chip away at me,
my independence and my ability to exist without him. And all for
her to tell me that I should let him. Simply because of his money,
his ability to fund her image as some suburban socialite.

“I’m glad you’re free again,” Adriana
whispered after some silence. She took my hand. “We’re going to
make up for lost time, girl. From now on, you do what
you
want, when you want, how you want. You don’t owe anyone anything.
You never did. Do what makes
you
happy. Break every last
rule that your mother or Ben made for you.” She planted a kiss on
my cheek. “Okay? It’s time for you to officially start over.”

CHAPTER
8

“Where did you get
that
?” Kelsey
asked from her desk as I passed her door on the way to the
bathroom. “And where are you going now?”

It
was a poppy dress with triangle
cutouts at each side of the waist and it was for a night on the
town with the girls, which would start at Todos Santos since both
Adriana and Em were scheduled for the night. They would be getting
out sometime around 1AM and since it was closing in on 11PM, Linh
and I planned on waiting at the bar until we were all ready to go
elsewhere.

“I got it at that little store on Ninth
Street,” I answered Kelsey. “And I’m not sure exactly where I’m
going tonight. I’m just meeting the girls at Todos and then Adriana
has something planned for us, I think.”

“Of course she does.” Kelsey’s voice was
somewhat sullen. I heard her toss something onto her desk with a
sigh, probably a pen. “Aren’t you exhausted from going out so much?
You’ve been definitely going a little crazy the past few
weeks.”

I had indeed let loose since the call with
Mom, but there was certainly nothing “too crazy” about it. While
there were nights of drinking and dancing with the girls, there was
also a good amount of sleeping over at Em’s house since she lived
alone and had the best groceries, pairing stroopwafels from Trader
Joe’s with our red wine and watching Bravo for hours before passing
out.

“I think I’m making up for lost girl time,”
I laughed as I decided to go for a third coat of mascara.
For
you, Ben
, I thought sardonically, remembering the way he’d
always throw a tantrum if I wore too much eye makeup.

“Well.” Kelsey was quiet for a little. “Have
fun. While I sit here and watch Netflix for the next eight
hours.”

I paused while staring into the mirror. “Do
you want to come?” It was a question I always asked her back when I
worked at the restaurant and had yet to meet Ben. Whether it was
something at the restaurant or the bar next door or some other
event that someone from Todos was throwing or invited to, there was
always somewhere to go or something to do. And every time, I
invited Kelsey, but every time, her answer was the same.

“I don’t have anything to wear.”

“Yes you do. Just belt one of your tank
dresses and call it a day. And if you don’t like that, you can
always borrow one of my…
two
cool outfits,” I snorted at
myself. Despite waking up with a hangover from last night, I was
brighter and more chipper than ever. Something about Adriana’s
words last night had lifted a weight from my shoulders and breathed
life back into my body. Unfortunately, Kelsey seemed to be in a
mood opposite from mine.

I heard her groan. “It’s going to be awkward
when all of you find some hot dude to flirt with for the night and
I’m just like, ninth wheelin’ it. Besides, I’m pretty sure people
would look at you guys and then me and be like, ‘How is she even
hanging out with them?’”

I stepped out of the bathroom to stare into
her room, incredulous. “Kelsey! Why are you being so negative?”

“Because boys don’t like me,” she whined,
her voice playful to hide the fact that she wasn’t kidding. I knew
her well enough.

“Kelsey, you go to a school that’s like,
ninety-five percent women and the five percent that are guys aren’t
into girls. You don’t know that boys don’t like you, so just come
out tonight!” My sense of rejuvenation was suddenly feeling a need
to spread itself to others. “If you really want, we can have Linh
come over with some of her clothes for you to try on! You guys are
both around five-foot-three, right?”

“Except she’s skinny and I’m not.”

“Oh my Lord, stop. I’m calling her now.”

By midnight, I arrived at Todos Santos with
Linh and Kelsey, who wore an acid wash maxi dress belonging to
Linh, but with a mismatched cardigan from her own closet because
she deemed her arms “too fat to be naked around a bunch of skinny
minis.”

“Oh my God, you guys look so cute!” Adriana
squealed when she saw us. “And Kelsey! You came!” She tugged at the
long sleeve of Kelsey’s linen cardigan. “But, girl, I’m going to
cut this off of you if you don’t take it off now.”

Giggling, Kelsey took the cardigan off but
only to put it back on once Adriana was out of sight and Harry was
in. He stood before us behind the bar, already pouring four
shots.

“Gonna be a good night.” He winked.

He wasn’t lying. By 2AM, we were all having
too much fun to care about going to whatever party in Williamsburg
that Adriana had us on a list for. Along with a few late-staying
regulars, the Todos staff danced about the bar, drinking and
laughing to the point that people began knocking on the windows
outside, hoping to come in despite the sign on the door being
flipped to say ‘Closed.’

“Linh! What are you doing sitting in a
corner?” Harry bellowed from behind the bar, one arm wrapped around
Adriana as he used the other to help her do a good pour from the
tap. “No one puts Linh in a corner!”

I eyed her as she grinned quietly at table
ten. “Stop texting!” I scolded playfully. She gave me a little
shake of the head, running her tongue over the corner of her top
lip.

“You don’t want me to stop texting,” she
murmured, giving no details when I asked for clarification. I let
it go though because I was busy accompanying Kelsey as she flirted
with the new, sandy-haired line cook. Apparently, all it took were
a few shots for her confidence to make an appearance. It helped
that Em had taken it upon herself to play wingwoman, supplying
stories of Kelsey’s own cooking forte and doing such a good job
that I let myself step away. Or rather, let Harry pull me away. His
big hands covered the cutouts of my dress, warming my bare skin. I
closed my eyes with relaxation, though they shot open within
seconds.

Closing my eyes made me see Daniel.
Damn
it, forget him
, I reminded myself. But it was too late. In my
warm, tipsy haze, I was lusting for the touch of his hands
again.

“You and Adriana drive me fuckin’ crazy,”
Harry murmured as he leaned me against a wall. “Whoever your ex
was, he was a stupid tosser for letting go of this. I fuckin’ dream
about this body.”

“Shut up,” I snorted.

“I’m serious. You and Ade are my go-to
fantasy for my morning shower wank.”

My hand flew to my mouth to cover a guilty
laugh. “Harry!”

“What?” he grinned. “I can assure you that
at least a hundred other guys who’ve eaten here have gone home done
the same while imagining you two, so I’m not in the minority here.
The guys in the kitchen too. It’s just part of us being guys and
you two being fuckin’ gorgeous girls. We’re not all gonna try to
have sex with you, but we’re sure as hell gonna think about it.
‘Cause there’s nothing wrong with that, right?” He laughed at my
contorted expression. It was all flattering if I really considered
it but still strange to actually hear. Though if anyone were to be
this honest about their sexual fantasies, it was a drunk Harry.
“For example,” he started, “my dream is having you and Ade in the
shower. Naked, skin all shiny, suds all over. But it’s not like
I’ve asked you two to come over and jump in because… well, because
you’ve been spoken for all these years. If you hadn’t been, I
probably woulda tried my luck.”

I laughed, covering my face. “That’s… good
to know, Harry.”

“Hey now, don’t act like you don’t have
fantasies about guys. You know you did. Especially after being with
a dickhead for so long.”

He wasn’t wrong about that. Fantasies got me
through my relationship with Ben. Almost every time I was in bed
with him, I imagined someone else. On more than several occasions,
it was Daniel. Mr. Cole. Because the equivalent of Harry’s shower
fantasy was my classroom one. It had followed me from high school
into adulthood and seen modifications along the way. As a senior,
the fantasy simply consisted of a good, long make-out session while
sitting on the edge of Daniel’s desk. As I got older, I imagined
him peeling my clothes off before laying me flat on my back,
keeping just my skirt on before throwing my legs over his
shoulders, rattling desk drawers as he pumped in and out of me
while squeezing my breasts.

God, stop. Stop thinking about him
.
The mere image of Daniel was enough to make me lose my breath and
feel warm.

“I think I need a glass of water,” I
breathed, suddenly pulling away from Harry.

He laughed, his eyes narrowing at me. “Who
were you thinkin’ of?”

“What?”

Harry bit his grin. “He’s a lucky bastard,
whoever he is.”

All I could do was smile sheepishly as I
rounded the bar to get a glass. But before I could, Linh grabbed my
hand.

“Follow me,” she murmured, her dainty
fingers grasping mine with a surprisingly strong grip as she led me
outside.

“What are we doing?”

“You’ll see.”

A crisp breeze cooled my cheeks once Linh
pushed through the door. I closed my eyes, tilting my head to let
it blow on my warm neck.

But when I opened them, the heat returned —
to my face and every other part of my body. I stared at the person
standing before me.

“Daniel!”

I willed my hands not to immediately reach
out and touch him. But he looked so adorable and simultaneously
sexy in dark wash jeans and a plain, heather blue T-shirt — through
which I could make out the lines of hard muscle on his chest. My
stare slid from that to is hair. It seemed to have grown since the
last time I’d last seen it and was a bit messy, as if he’d been
running his hands through it beforehand.
God, he’s so
cute
.

But the best part above all was the fact
that he was smiling. That gorgeous, knee-weakening smile with those
dimples that made his cheekbones look more carved from stone than
usual. I hadn’t seen that smile once the last time we were
together.

“Hey.” He rubbed his curved lips as he gazed
at me. I held my breath as he paused before lowering his voice to a
murmur. “I’ve been thinking about you.” He laughed quietly. “I
can’t stop, actually.”