Discipline (23 page)

That was at least what I told myself.
Because more than anything, ignoring Ben was selfish. Aaron
deserved to know about his text. But out of guilt for having
brought all this trouble upon him, I let it go.
Just for
now
, I told myself.
Let everyone have fun and tell him when
the trip is over.

~

All it took were a few hours on the beach
for my skin to tan to a bronzed glow, practically matching the dark
beige of my bikini. Through my shades, I watched Em bury Harry’s
entire body in the sand as Adriana formed a set of breasts and a
mermaid’s tail.

Farther down from the rest of us were Mike
and Linh who sat right where the water was coming up on the beach,
the picture of ease as they dug their toes in the sand and watched
the waves. I smiled at the way Linh took a few minutes before
responding to whatever things Mike murmured in her ear. They were
in no rush at all, the absolute definition of peace and
tranquility. It was hard to believe that they had only just met the
night that Aaron and I had run into each other. They seemed every
bit like a content and longtime couple in love.

They can relax
, I noted with a bit of
envy while observing them.
They have all the time in the
world.

“How do you know Mike?” I asked as I turned
to rest my on my stomach beside Aaron, who lay on his back with a
paperback he’d stopped reading. His own deepening tan gave his
muscles all the more definition, as if they needed it.

He gazed at me, watching with a smile as I
got comfortable next to him. “We grew up together.”

“Where? Not Woodhill right?” In some way,
Aaron just seemed synonymous with Woodhill, but I remembered his
family stories about Red Hook.

“No, my family couldn’t afford that. We grew
up in Rutledge.”

“Thirty minutes from Woodhill,” I
murmured.

“Yeah.” A little smirk slid across his lips
as he recalled his memories. “He and I were the two big kids —
always three, four inches taller than anyone else our age — so
teachers always picked us to be captains for gym if we were playing
basketball or kickball. And we hated each other throughout
elementary and middle school because we were under the impression
that we were supposed to be mortal enemies or something,” Aaron
laughed, glancing down the beach at Mike. “It took till high school
for us to realize that we could just join forces and be
friends.”

“And then you two became co-captains of all
the Rutledge High sports teams, I’m guessing?” I asked, charmed as
Aaron nodded. “So, considering you did everything together, how did
you end up working in Woodhill instead of moving to the city with
Mike?”

Aaron squinted in the sun, sitting up to
grab a water bottle. For the sake of the people around us, I gave
myself only a second to stare at the gorgeous lines of his body,
the way his abs contracted, his shoulder muscles expanding as he
rested his arms on the tops of his knees. “After teaching there for
a few years, my dad had this idea of Woodhill — that it was the
perfect place to work, live, raise a family. He taught at other
schools throughout his career but he still thought about those few
years in Woodhill, always talked about how beautiful the town was
and how if he could do it again, he’d have found a way to raise us
there. I figure it was less catty a place when he taught there
because I trust my dad’s taste,” Aaron said with a little smile as
he twisted open a water bottle before handing it to me. “Anyway,
right after graduation, I went to teach at Woodhill. That was the
plan since college. And Mike ended up moving to the city because
that was always
his
plan — whatever his job ended up being,
all he knew was that he wanted to be in the city, around different
people, different things. So we both went our separate ways to
fulfill our dreams and we did our best to keep in touch along the
way.”

“What does Mike do now?”

“He and a friend own a bar in Brooklyn. He’s
opening a second location soon.”

“So one of the captains grew up to be a
party animal and the other one grew up to be a schoolteacher?”

Aaron laughed. “Pretty much.”

I ran my finger along the perspiration of
the water bottle. A part of me hoped that Aaron had a secret desire
to be just like Mike again, to live in the city and simply have fun
for a career. Selfishly, I imagined him owning a bar with Mike and
being always close by, working at a place that wouldn’t erupt in
scandal if we were ever officially together. “Do you still love
your job?” I asked curiously. “Teaching?”

“Yes.” His answer came without hesitation,
surprising me. “I can’t stand the town but the school and the
students are better than I could ask for. They’re smart, they’re
interested in learning, they make my job actually mean
something.”

“That’s because you’re the teacher everyone
hopes they get,” I laughed quietly. “Everyone’s heard of you by
middle school. I remember when Jake was in eighth grade and their
high school schedules came out, he said the first thing everyone
did was scan the last names to look for ‘Cole.’ They have respect
for you before they step into your classroom.”

Aaron smiled. “It took me probably five or
six years to gain that respect, and trust me, I’ve been enjoying it
thoroughly since. It definitely makes the job easier when the bell
rings and everyone’s already seated and looking at me.”

I smirked playfully. “Not to detract from
your teaching abilities, but it helps that you’re gorgeous.”

Aaron laughed. “Well. I like to believe that
my lesson plans are just extraordinarily interesting. They
definitely are to me.”

I laughed, my ears perking to the
interesting mix of his regular voice and his teacher’s voice. “To
be fair, if I didn’t have a massive crush on you, I still would’ve
found your class interesting. It was nice listening someone who was
actually interested in the books. Those tenured teachers just read
straight from lesson plans, but you… you were a real nerd about
it,” I said, giggling when he gave me a playful frown. “And I loved
that.” I truly had. Athlete looks and nerd intellect was a winning
combination in my book.

“Thank you, pretty sure.”

“It’s a compliment,” I assured him.

“I’ll take it as one,” Aaron grinned.
“Whatever it takes to keep them interested. It’s any teacher’s
dream to have students who actually look forward to the classroom.”
His grin faded to a light smile. “On shitty days, I can at least
feel connected to my dad still, wherever he is. If he had any wish
bigger than living his dream life as a teacher, it was for me to do
it.”

“Yeah.” I sat up, gathering my hair over my
shoulder as I watched Aaron gaze out at the water, his mouth just
faintly curved up at the ends.

As much as I knew he couldn’t stand the
town, he did have a good thing going for him at the school. He was
admired by all, students and faculty alike. Plus, he was living his
father’s dream to a tee. I considered it, amazed that fulfilling a
parent’s wishes could actually be a source of happiness for
some.

I gazed at Aaron, my heart swelling.
Suddenly, I wished I could’ve met his father, the man whose own
passion had molded one of the kindest, most charismatic and
intellectual people I’d ever met.

“You’re so fucking cute,” I couldn’t help
saying, feeling the need to emphasize my thought with the
profanity. He just was. I could see his love for his job emanating
from the smile on his lips, and it made me smile too despite the
fact that my heart felt so heavy. I should’ve known. There had to
be
some
thing about his job that made having to hide any
remnants of a personal life worth it. It sounded ridiculous, but I
could understand it.

Even if it meant that there was little
chance for us in the long run.

As I stared out at the ocean myself, I felt
my own smile fading, though I faked one quickly as Aaron turned
over to cup the back of my head and give me a soft kiss on the
lips.

Enjoy yourself now
, I reminded
myself, swallowing the lump in my throat.
You won’t have him for
long.

CHAPTER
15

“Are you… okay?”

Adriana gave me a funny look as she reached
for the bottle of Ketel in my hand, which was already a third
empty. The Todos crew was getting ready for dinner at a
Mediterranean bistro by the water and not so brilliantly, Adriana
and I had decided to pre-game while getting ready in my bedroom as
Aaron waited downstairs, already dressed and looking effortlessly
gorgeous in a crisp white button up. He’d pulled me in for a kiss
before letting me back upstairs to get dressed and all it had taken
was the simple smell of fresh bar soap on his skin to drive me
completely wild. If anything, his scent had been the pre-game to my
pre-gaming.

But at some point, while taking entirely too
long to pick between a black dress and a white dress, my jovial
pre-gaming had taken a turn and become some weird, vaguely sad and
slightly bitter drink-a-thon.

Adriana chewed on the emerald string of her
bikini top as she observed me. “You’re not okay,” she concluded,
watching as my body went from a halfhearted crouch over my tote bag
to a bleak crumple into the corner of the room, my wet swimsuit
leaving imprints on the floor and wall. I laughed at myself.

“Sorry. I don’t know what’s going on.” I
stuck my tongue out to play the mood off. Because I knew well what
was going on. I was upset about Aaron, about the quiet resolution
I’d come to — that I should probably stop seeing him soon, for his
own good. The sooner I stopped, the less horrible I’d feel and the
better chance he had to be forgotten by Ben. We could pretend we
never happened. I had yet to completely make up my mind about the
decision, but I was fairly sure of it. Fairly sure that I needed to
disappear from Aaron’s life in order to save his neck.
You’re
doing it for him.

That was what I told myself. And it was
quietly depressing me but I didn’t feel like getting into it,
especially not with Adriana fairly tipsy as well. After taking a
giant swig from the bottle, she pointed the neck at me. “Nina,
whatever it is, think of it this way: you’re in the Hamptons right
now with probably the hottest guy either of us has ever seen in
real life… I mean, he makes fuckin’
Harry
look like… a… I
don’t know. A
less
hot guy.”

“I liked that analogy, that was a good
one.”

“Thank you.” Adriana blew me a kiss and
flicked her sun-streaked hair behind her back. “So… whatever’s,”
she waved her hand in the air semi-mockingly, “
going on
in
your head? Just forget about it and live
right now
, in this
very moment. Think about all those months or years, even, that you
were just holed up in Ben’s depressing apartment, hating him,
hating your life, wishing you could be just
any
where else
having fun with people you actually loved. And look at where you
are right now. You’re in an amazing house that’s a six minute drive
to the Atlantic Ocean with your best friends in the whole world,
the hands down hottest guy on this planet and to top it all off,
you look fucking
good
, babe.” Taking both my hands, Adriana
pulled me up from the floor, that wide, infectious smile of hers
spreading her full lips. “Girl, you are the quintessential
twenty-one-year-old right now. Young, fun, beautiful and surrounded
by people who are in love with you.” She planted a pillowy kiss on
my cheek. “Myself included. So why waste this moment? Don’t think
about anything but the fact that
at this very second
, you
could either be bummed over something that you have no control over
right now, or you can be in pure fucking heaven, having the time of
your life. You’re just letting something from the past or the
future get in the way of right now, and you shouldn’t.”

Her hazel eyes gleamed at me when she
finished her speech, waiting for me to react, to agree. Silent, I
stared at her, wondering if I was drunk or if she had somehow known
exactly how to appeal to my mood at that very second. I
blinked.

“Thank you.” I felt the tiny smile touching
my lips. “I needed that,” I murmured, reminding myself that despite
my new resolution, I
did
still had two nights left with
Aaron. And if there was any reason to truly enjoy every last second
and inch of him, it was the fact that I didn’t plan on seeing him
ever again once I got back to the city. Sure, it was depressing,
but not if I lived “in the now” as Adriana so brilliantly
suggested.

“
See
, look. As sexy as you are when
you pout, I love you a hundred million times more when you smile,”
Adriana said, giving me another peck, this time on the nose before
dragging her neon bag over from the door and sifting through it. “I
think I’m gonna wear a white dress to dinner tonight, because of
this rockin’ ass tan I got today. You should too! We could be
twins.”

I cocked an eyebrow at her while taking
small sips from the vodka bottle, feeling the liquid slightly
burning the roof of my mouth. “You mean ‘twinsies?’ With our
matching lingerie sets?”

Adriana gasped. “Oh my God, I forgot!”

Laughing, I watched as she began rummaging
through her clothes like a little squirrel, stopping abruptly once
her eyes met something at the bottom of her bag. Slowly, she pulled
out what looked to be the same exact La Perla set that she’d pulled
from my luggage a day ago. She looked at me seriously.

“Nina. We have the same flawless taste.” She
paused. “Assuming you picked that set and Ben only bought it for
you.”

“Yup.”

“Then we are two flawless, flawless
individuals.”

I nodded. “Flawless, drunk as shit
individuals.”

Adriana threw her head back and laughed,
turning her back to me before beginning to undo her bikini top. I
cocked my head at her.