Discipline (14 page)

“You poor thing. I hate that feeling,
getting left high and dry. I literally feel pain in my stomach when
a guy gets me all worked up and then something comes up so he can’t
fuck me senseless. Those are the times that my Magic Wand becomes
my best friend.”

That nervous laugh crept upon my lips again.
“Your magic wand?”

Adriana stared. “My vibrator? You… ” She
cocked her head at me, frowning. “You’ve never used one before,
have you.”

I shrugged. “I’m sure Ben would’ve smashed
it into a million pieces if he ever found one around the
apartment.”

Adriana snorted, putting on a deep,
caveman-like voice. “‘My selfish penis does not satisfy you? What
do
you
need to come for anyway? Sex is about
my
pleasure only! I’m a shithead!’”

I burst out laughing. “I swear that was what
he was thinking. He always came before me, but in the first month
or two he’d at least…” I made a face, shy but feeling stupid about
feeling shy about the topic. “… he’d finger me to get me off.”

Adriana gave me an incredulous look. “Did
you really just hesitate to say the word ‘finger?’”

“Well, in that context, yes.”

“Girl. Of all people, you can talk to me
about sex, doofus. You and I have practically dry humped each other
before.”

I laughed, scrunching my nose up and making
a face. “True.” It was at that Halloween party of Linh’s. When
Adriana and I had decided that the guys there were too aggressively
horny to go near, we turned to one another — for fun and the
purpose of unloading our sexual frustration. “I just never talk
about that stuff aloud.”

“Why not?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. I don’t think
there’s anything wrong with it, I just haven’t.”

”There
isn’t
anything wrong with it,
especially when it’s just friends or you and your man. Like, I know
I’m a loudmouth but my rule is that as long as you’re not in public
or talking so loud that you’re forcing your sex life on people who
don’t want to hear it, go for it. Talk about sex. Find out what you
like. Positions, length, girth, lubes, porn, costumes. Toys.” She
arched an eyebrow at me. “
Roleplay
. Student-teacher
fantasies.”

I bit my both lips back. “Mm, yeah,
definitely had some of those.”

“Perfect. Tell me about it.”

“Ade, no! They’re for my head only.”

“Well, give me a summary so I know you
aren’t still weird about saying the word ‘
finger
.’”

I groaned. “Fine. It involves having hot,
sweaty sex on his desk in his classroom. Shades down but door
unlocked. Happy?”

“Oh, door unlocked? De
lighted
,”
Adriana giggled. She then shook her head and clucked her tongue.
“Kind of unfair that Kelsey cockblocked you just because she needed
a shoulder to cry on. Barely anything happened to make her upset.
But I guess she’s one of those drunks.”

Apparently, she was — either deliriously
happy or miserably depressed. According to the girls, she had
become the latter last night around the time that I left. It was
when the cute line cook turned his attention to soccer highlights
on Marco’s phone and perhaps to regain his attention, Kelsey joined
Adriana in a dance on the bar top. Judging from her tears when I
returned to the restaurant, I would have thought that she’d done
something mortifying like fall on her ass in the middle of a twerk
attempt. But apparently, all it took for her to lock herself in a
bathroom for fifteen minutes was a lack of attention paid to her
dancing.

“
Em
clapped for her,” Adriana said,
shrugging as we headed down to the lockers, where we kept our
bags.

“Don’t worry about it. Kelsey’ll be fine,” I
said, though I wasn’t quite sure if that was true. I’d woken up
this morning to see her looking hungover and dejected while packing
a weekend bag, having decided to go home to Woodhill for a couple
days.

“True. She’s a big girl. You shouldn’t have
to worry about her too much. Especially not with a hot date
tonight.”

After locking the door behind Kelsey, I’d
checked my phone to see a text from Daniel. He had stayed in the
city last night with Mike. And I’d be seeing him in less than a
half hour. Simply anticipating his presence made my blood rush with
excitement.

“Damn, girl. Get ‘im,” Adriana said,
checking me out from head to toe once I changed into my outfit for
the night — a simple jersey tank dress that ended mid-thigh,
mint-colored and stretchy so that it hugged my body in all the
right places. It was perfectly summery for the late July weather.
Adriana nodded with approval as I gave my hair a few flips before
fanning it over my shoulders. “He’s going to have trouble tonight,”
she said.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see.”

I had a feeling I knew, but I fully
understood the moment Daniel spotted me at our meeting place — a
cozy, thirty-seat restaurant deep in the West Village. It was
breezy so I’d put a cropped white jacket on over the dress, but
Daniel’s brows still lifted when he saw me coming toward him in my
nude crisscross espadrilles with the tie around the ankle. I
couldn’t help delighting at his expression.

“That’s not right,” he said, his laugh
muffled as he bit his fist.

“What?”

“Nothing, this is just… going to be
hard.”

I smiled, confused but charmed. “Why?”

Daniel stood there simply shaking his head
for a second. “You look unbelievably sexy right now. But I made
myself a promise before coming here.” When I cocked my head
curiously, he bit his grin back, somewhat wincing at himself. “I
can’t touch you tonight, Nina. I have to make this a proper
date.”

I raised my eyebrows, probably unable to
hide the surprise on my face. And the disappointment. Bringing my
hand to my mouth, I chewed on the tip of my nail, realizing that
I’d gone into the night with every intention of sleeping with
Daniel. It was quite easily the first time that I’d ever thought
about jumping into bed with someone on the very first date. In high
school, I’d had two boyfriends, the second of whom I’d actually
slept with and lost my virginity to. It had taken four months of
dating for me to even consider it, and five-and-a-half months for
it to actually happen.

During college, especially while partying
alongside Adriana, I’d fooled around with a couple guys but I
hadn’t come close to sleeping with anyone.

And then there was Ben. We’d gone out seven
times before ever going back to his apartment after dinner.

But Daniel — I hadn’t been on a single date
with him and I was already desperate to feel my body between his
and my sheets. Even after realizing how it was entirely too soon
for that to happen, my feelings remained. I couldn’t help it. I
wanted him. Badly. Every inch of my body ached to feel his press
against mine. The fact that he’d resolved not to lay a finger on me
had me feeling already tortured.

Silent as I wet my lips, I watched Daniel
give himself a long gaze at me, his own torture sloping in his
eyebrows.

“I’ve never been more physically attracted
to anyone as I am to you, Nina. I’ve never had anyone test my
discipline the way you do. But as much as you make me want to be
that guy who skips the whole night to take the girl straight to his
place, I’m not. Or rather, I don’t want to let myself be.”

I swallowed. “Fair enough.”

“So you’re on the same page as me,
then?”

“Mm-hm,” I answered, though my mind had
other thoughts. Daniel seemed to suspect this, eyeing my blatantly
suspicious purse-lipped smile. With a reluctant grin, he narrowed
his gaze.

“I have this strange feeling that you’re
lying to me right now.”

“Mm-mm.” I simply shook my head. Though
despite a breeze, I did a shimmy out of my jacket, watching
Daniel’s blue eyes electrify at the sight of my mint dress hugging
my body. Running his hand from his forehead to his chin, he groaned
and looked skyward.

“Come on, Nina.”

I burst out laughing. “
What?”

“I’m going to have trouble sitting through
dinner with you wearing that.”

A smirk twisted on my lips. “Should I take
it off?”

“Don’t do that to me right now.”

His wasn’t being playful but I couldn’t help
my giggle. “Alright. Let’s go inside then.”

“After you.” His tone was polite but the
look in his eyes was anything but. I bit my smile back as I walked
ahead of him into the dimly lit restaurant, well aware that he was
giving himself the opportunity to check me out from behind. After
being seated in a far corner and ordering a bottle of wine, I
chastised him playfully with my eyes. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“Don’t be sorry. I said do what you want,
didn’t I?”

Daniel cracked a smile at the sound of those
words. “Yeah, but…” He tilted his head, squinting. “That just seems
like a cruel joke.”

“Why’s that?”

He laughed. “Because I’ve worked in Woodhill
for almost ten years and if I ever did or said the things I really
wanted, I would’ve already been fired for failing all the kids
whose private tutors do their homework.” The smile on his face
faltered a bit. “And ‘do what you want’ sounds too good to be true
after a long-term relationship where most things eventually became
off-limits.”

I tried to hide my curiosity but not hard
enough. “Mm. What kind of things?”

Daniel flashed me look and a twist of a
smile despite looking irked. “You’re trying to torture me tonight,
aren’t you?”

“The opposite.”

His eyes trailed from mine to my lips and
the mischievous look on my face. “Then let’s change the
subject.”

“Why?” I couldn’t suppress my urge to
challenge him.

Daniel’s laugh was short and his face grew
dark as he lowered his voice to a murmur. “Nina, all I can think of
right now is putting my hands all over that body of yours. I’m
doing my best to suppress that urge right now, so please don’t make
me list the sexual favors that I’ve missed for the past
two-and-a-half years while sitting in front of you because I don’t
know if I’m going to be able to hold it together despite being in
public.”

His words sucked the breath out of me for a
second. Despite the angry glint in his eye, I could feel
devilishness curving my lips, overcome by the sudden need to bring
the animal out of him. “That’s okay. I don’t mind if you can’t hold
it together.”

He looked taken aback and simultaneously
amused. “You wouldn’t mind me throwing you over this table right
now?” he challenged, his eyes smoldering. “In the middle of this
restaurant?”

I did my best to keep calm. “Have you ever
fantasized about something like that?”

Daniel stared intensely at me, appearing
angry, annoyed and aroused by my bold tongue. I studied the mix of
emotions on his face, hot excitement surging through my entire
body. My legs crossed, my thighs pumped as I waited for his answer.
It finally came and with a hint of steeliness.

“Yes, I’ve fantasized about having sex in
public.”

“Have you ever done it?” I asked. Daniel’s
eyes dipped into my cleavage as I leaned forward to rest my chin in
my hand.

“No,” he answered, sounding brittle. His
body was rigid, controlled.

“Tell me what else you fantasize about.”

“Why?”

“Why not?” I asked. “Fantasies don’t make
you any less of a gentleman.”

Daniel dragged his lip through his teeth.
“Why do you need to hear about it? At this very second?”

“Because it turns me on.”

He leaned back in his chair, torment
creasing on his face. “Nina, stop. You’re killing me right
now.”

My tongue spoke before I could stop it. “If
you won’t touch me, at least give me something to think about
before bed.”

Oh my God, Nina
. Something had taken
over me. My mouth, specifically. Whatever it was, it shocked me as
much as it did Daniel, whose eyes were a fiery blaze. His fingers
went from rubbing the sexy stubble on his chin to drumming hard on
the table for a second before he finally leaned forward again, his
voice a near hiss as he spoke. “Fine. Here’s one: After you
graduated, I had a fantasy about you. I imagined you in my
classroom. Bending you over your desk in that second row and
fucking you till it was up against the wall. How’s that work for
you?”

My heart slammed against my chest as my legs
crossed tighter in attempts to control the sudden throbbing between
them. “That works,” I breathed. My mind couldn’t help picturing his
fantasy. “Tell me another.”

Clenching his jaw, Daniel seemed to be
fighting the words trying to escape his lips. But they finally came
out. “You give me one first.”

I swallowed, feeling my pulse in my throat.
“Okay.” I slid my hands beneath my bare thighs to cool them. My
upper arms pressed against the sides of my chest, making for a
rather generous display of cleavage. Daniel gripped the side of the
table with one hand for a moment before bringing that hand to his
mouth, trying to compose himself as he watched and listened to me.
“I had fantasies about your classroom too,” I started. “But I also
had this one in the hallway. Because of one time that I left class
to put my sweater in my locker. It was too hot that day and I had
to take it off. And when I did, the T-shirt I had on underneath
stuck to it so I almost pulled it over my head with my sweater. I
stopped once I felt a draft against my stomach, and I realized that
I’d almost stripped down to my bra right outside while classes were
going on.” I slipped a hand out from under my thigh to wrap it
around my glass of water, luxuriating in the ice-cold condensation
against my burning skin. “So I thought about what would happen if
I’d actually done it. Taken everything off right there. And if
you’d passed by at that moment and caught me without my shirt on in
the middle of the hallway.” I peered up from my glass of water to
look at Daniel, at the unfamiliar, tantalizingly salacious gaze
flickering in his eyes. “I imagined you having me undress the rest
of the way in front of my locker.”