dissonance. (a Böhme novel) (22 page)

“You don’t have to use lines on me; I’m already here,” I said for my own benefit.

“It’s not a line,” he simply said as he released one arm from around me, and traced his fingers up my arm and along my neck. “You can kick my ass without even hitting me, Brecken. All you have to do is tell me no and to get the fuck away from you and you’ll kick my ass.”

I scowled at him.

“How am I supposed to respond to that?” I asked. I was serious too. I had been thinking this whole time that I was projecting my emotions onto Blake. Now hearing that statement from him made this all seem so real. I was afraid of him telling me no and sending me on my way.

“You don’t need to respond. I was just stating an obvious point for me,” he said.

I sat back from him and leaned against the steering wheel. “We should go inside, shouldn’t we?” I asked.

“Yes, I think we should,” he said simply as he traced his finger along my ear.

He patted the side of my leg to get me to rise from him. I began to climb off, and then I sat back on him with a sigh.

“Wait, I can’t do this,” I said.

He looked at me with a furrowed brow and a nervous smile, “Do what?”

“End this conversation that way,” I said and his features relaxed. “I mean, I need to apologize. I’ve let myself get caught up in this and my rational side has gone into hiding,” I said waving my hand between him and me. “I’m sorry for being so reactionary. That is how I spend most of my life—reacting. I’m trying to train my brain to be more focused and less…that.”

“You need to quit apologizing,” he said as he brought both his hands to my thighs. He watched his own fingers as he traced them up and down. “You have a bad habit of that.”

“You seem to be picking up on my bad habits a lot Blake,” I said with a laugh.

He smiled and lifted the knuckles of his left hand to his mouth and rested his elbow against the side window. Tapping his index finger’s knuckle against his teeth he smiled at me. “Uh, it’s something my dad said to me this morning.” I raised a brow in question and he dropped his hand to the door and traced along the edge of the window, deep in thought as he continued. “So he told me that I can’t avoid the faults and put someone on a pedestal. He said when you block out the bad and don’t accept it for what it is, you can never really love someone. You can’t just avoid it.”

I squinted my eyes as I looked out the window, trying to ignore the fact he just dropped the L word without a thought. “So you’re saying you’re looking for faults in me?”

“I suppose I am. Sorry.” He smiled. “You can tell me some of my faults.”

“Well, for one you’re pretty cocky, but I don’t know if I would say it’s so much a fault as it is an annoyance.”

“Yes, I could see that,” he said tracing along my ear again.

“You also like to turn everything into a joke. Which again isn’t necessarily bad, but it might backfire and then no one will believe a word you say as being truthful.” I said as I rolled my eyes at myself. That was a shitty thing to say, so I decided to cover it with a joke of my own. “Damn you, I can’t find serious faults and believe me—I look.”

His smile dropped briefly at my words and he looked annoyed. “Well, keep looking then,” he said. “But we should probably go in now. Do you feel better? I have no hard…feelings,” he said with a flirtatious grin, ultimately evading the aloofness he had held for a moment.

“Wow, you are something else. I don’t think I’ve ever met a man that references his penis as much as you.” I smiled as I climbed off him. “There’s one—your penis references. That’s a fault.”

“Oh Brecken, you only think it’s a fault because you’ve never seen it. I see it every day so I know how important it is.”

“And…you just managed to include all your faults in one sentence,” I said with a backhand to his arm, not holding back to avoid my own faults.

_______________

I followed closely behind Blake as he opened the door to his parents’ home. There was laughter and talking coming from a room far in the back of the house. It sounded like more than just his parents were here and I wondered what I was in for.

Blake looked back at me and taking my hand, he led me through his parents’ house. It was a large, well decorated home, but it wasn’t untouchable. The well-lived in house showed the love the family shared and it made me relax.

We stepped into an open room and I remained behind Blake briefly, before stepping out to see a table filled with people. Thankfully it was people I met last night, aside from a shorter man and a tall woman that I assumed were Blake’s parents.

The woman stood from her chair and with a broad smile that echoed her son’s, stepped near me.

Blake put his hand on my shoulder and guided me in front of him. “Mom, this is Brecken McNett. Brecken, this is my mom, Vera,” he said, taking my hand in his and his mother’s eyes drifted to our hands and her uncanny resemblance to her son grew more as her smile broadened.

“Brecken. That’s a lovely name and aren’t you just as cute as can be,” she said as she pulled me from Blake and into a hug.  “Andrew, meet Blake’s friend,” she said, turning to the table. The shorter man who wore a head full of thick strawberry blonde hair smiled at us.

He pushed himself up from the table and I saw a slight pouch in his belly that accentuated his broad frame.

“Brecken is it?” he said as he smiled at me. “That’s an Irish name?”

“Yes sir, it is,” I said with a smile. “My dad was Irish.”

“Was? I don’t see how being Irish could ever leave someone,” he said with a laugh. Blake tensed next to me, more than likely thinking I was bothered by his father’s statement.

“No, he was an Irishman through and through. But he died when I was eleven,” I said and saw Andrew’s face drop in regret.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be an ass,” he said as he looked to his wife who shook her head at him.

“No, it’s okay, you didn’t know,” I said, shaking my head. “But enough of that; I love your home.”

Relief washed over their faces at the change of subject.

“Thank you,” Vera said as she took my elbow and directed me to a spot at the table.

I sat across from Mason and smiled. “I see you made it?” I asked.

“Yeah, Karl brought me. Hannah and Wynn wanted to have dinner with everyone before heading back home,” he said.

“Yeah, sorry Brecken. I hope you don’t hate me for bringing you here to hang out with everyone,” Blake said shyly.

“No, it’s fine.” I pulled him toward me and whispered in his ear, “I just wish you would’ve told me sooner. What if someone walked outside when we were still in the car?”

He put his hand on the back of my neck and spoke quietly into my ear, “Then they would’ve seen us.” He kissed right behind my ear before leaning back into his chair with a grin.

I gave him a scowl and looked back to Mason who was smiling widely at us.

Gabe entered the room from another hallway and took a seat next to Mason and smiled at Blake and me.

“Hello,” he said with a nod. “How are the two of you doing this wonderful day?”

“We are doing well, thank you,” I said. From what I’ve seen of Gabe he liked to tease. It was apparent that if I were to be with Blake I was going to be with his family and friends as well and that meant not backing away shyly from jokes. That was something I did well—give back when the jokes are thrown.

“So Brecken, tell us about yourself. And I mean all about yourself, your family, your job, everything,” Gabe said with a bright smile and everyone at the table looked to him and then me. Each of them stopped what they were doing and sat up straight in their chairs—expressionless and watching me.

I remembered Sid and Petra from last night, Hannah and Wynn, then there was a guy I didn’t recognize and the table was rounded off by Karl, Gabe, Mason, and the Lawsons.

All of them looked at me with expectant eyes as if I were going to say something miraculous.

“Um, well. I’m in a cover band with my nephew. I work at a bakery. My brother is a painter and I think he’s been to the Böhme several times. My grandpa used to be a mechanic. My mom is crazy—but in a good way.” My voice trailed off as I looked at each of them. “Sorry, I’m not usually asked that question in front of a group of people,” I said as I pulled my lip in and looked around the table. Each of them kept watching me silently—expressionless. Their silence was unnerving and I couldn’t understand why what I had to say was so fucking interesting, that they had dropped all other conversation to listen to me blankly.

Blake stood from the table and grabbed beers for him and me from the fridge. No one else said anything, but kept their eyes on me. I sighed after taking a drink of my beer.

“Continue,” Gabe said with a wave of his hand. No one else said anything in response.

“Um, like I said, my dad passed away when I was young. I’ve traveled around a lot,” I said and they continued to look at me expectantly. “My favorite color is green.” They kept watching, stone faced. “I once went to Spain to see if the rain really did stay mainly on the plain. True story.” I saw the corner of his mother’s lip start to go up as if she were struggling to keep her serious expression.

My mouth dropped open as I looked to Blake with a questioning expression. He just shrugged his shoulders and started to smile but took a drink of his beer, then leaned onto his knees and toyed with the bottle. He hid his face from me as if he were trying not to laugh.

“What the fuck’s going on?” I asked as I leaned forward and looked at each of them at the table.

Then they all broke into laughter.

“Well done, Brecken sie Deutsch!” Gabe declared.

“Hey now, no play on German,” Petra yelled from her end of the table.

Gabe leaned forward and smiled right at me. “No, I like that nickname for you,” he said on a wink. “Good job though. Mason here talked and talked for about twenty minutes earlier before he realized no one was speaking,” Gabe said as he put his hand on the younger guy’s shoulder.

I leaned down to Blake. “What the fuck is going on?”

Blake laughed. “You’ll have to get used to it. Fucking with each other is what we like to do. That was your initiation,” he said as he sat up and rubbed the back of my neck. “You should consider it a positive. I do,” he said with a wink.

Hannah stood from her seat and came and took the empty one beside me.

“Don’t mind them,” she said absently as she ran her hand across her belly. “These guys have pissed me off numerous times with their goading. You’re stronger than me though. I got angry the first time they did it to me. Pissed me off so bad,” she said as she pulled her lips in and shook her head.

“What about Wynn?”  I asked. “Does he take part in it?”

We both turned to look at her tattooed husband and she smiled. He looked toward her as if he felt her eyes on him. It was kind of beautiful to see transpire, but it was kind of sickening too. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing two people in love, but I didn’t understand what being
in
love meant.

“Wynn doesn’t usually take part in the teasing, no. Not this kind of teasing anyway,” she said as she waved her hand around the table.

“You two seem pretty happy,” I said matter of fact.

“Yes, we are,” she said and smiled at me. “How was your date with Blake today?” she asked and I looked back toward Blake.

He wasn’t talking and I could tell he heard Hannah ask the question and was waiting for my response.

“Well, it was fun. It isn’t many dates a girl goes on that a knight wins a joust for her,” I said.

“Blake jousted?” Hannah asked.

I laughed and Blake scoffed from next to me. “No, he didn’t. That would’ve been a sight though. But yeah, the guy at the faire jousted and won for me. But Blake was very knightly himself,” I said.

“You’re telling me,” she leaned in to whisper to me. “If you’re looking for a guy with integrity and knightly qualities, then look no further.” She looked around me to make sure Blake wasn’t listening. “But be forewarned, dude can be a pain in the ass sometimes too. But he’s worth it,” she said with a laugh.

“I heard that Hannah,” Blake said, leaning around me. They both now had me encaged by their banter back and forth in front of me. “After all I’ve done for you?” he asked.

She laughed. “I’ve adopted Blake as my brother in law. Since Wynn is an only child, and Blake’s an only child, they’re brothers. Since my sister died, I have no opportunity for a brother in law either, so he is my brother in law. As much as he doesn’t want to admit that, he is,” she said and smiled at him briefly before looking to her husband. Wynn was quietly watching her as he listened to a story Sid was telling him.

“Okay, dinner is served now,” Vera said as she opened the oven to remove a pan.

I smiled as I watched her bring it into the room. It wasn’t just the food, but it was the feeling that these people were bringing with them. They felt like family to me and I’d only known them briefly.

I looked up at Blake and saw him watching me with a smile of his own on his face. “Are you okay with eating here?” he asked.

“Of course. This is perfect,” I said and gave a pat to the side of his face.