dissonance. (a Böhme novel) (23 page)

Then his mother set the pan on the table and I saw that it was a pan of eggplant and sauce, but no meat.

I leaned back in the chair and nodded at Blake and sipped my beer, “Thank you, Vera, but I can’t eat this,” I said as I stood from the table.

“Why honey, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“I can’t bring myself to eat eggplant. It’s a tick of mine, it makes me nervous,” I said with sincerity and everyone stopped speaking to stare at me. “My mom always told me to never trust a fucking eggplant.”

Vera gave Blake a questioning look.

“She’s kidding,” Blake said. “At least I hope she’s kidding, because that’d be fucked if she wasn’t.”

“Blake James, don’t speak that way at the table,” Andrew said, causing his son to lower his head with a smirk.

“Brecken did,” Blake said with a smile as he took a drink.

“That’s different, she’s a guest. Guest’s can cuss all they want,” Andrew said.

“Blake’s right. It was my lame attempt at getting back at you for being assholes to me earlier. I don’t have a problem with eggplant,” I said with a smirk of my own as I took my seat and lifted my plate for a helping. Blake lightly backhanded my thigh, then squeezed it with a smile.

“I thought it a perfect attempt, Brecken,” Vera said, bringing a frown from her husband. “Oh lighten the hell up Andrew. It’s just words.”

Everyone at the table erupted into laughter as they began to fill their plates. Everyone but Blake, he just simply watched me and let his hand rub my thigh.

I lifted my hand to his cheek and gave it a light pinch before tapping his nose.

“Damn it,” Gabe said on a sigh. “Brecken sie Deutsch, I have to thank you. Blake has been much quieter since you came into the picture. You’re giving us all a breather.”

__________

“So who is up for a game of Mortal Kombat?” Gabe asked. “I need to redeem myself after last time.”

“Oh shit’s about to get real,” Wynn said.

I turned to Blake and raised my brow in question. He leaned back in his chair, lifting it onto its back two legs. He toyed with his hands and gave me a mischievous grin.

“What?” I asked.

“Blake is being shy,” Hannah said on a laugh. “This is something new.”

“I’m not being shy—I just don’t want to embarrass Brecken in front of everyone. I mean I don’t know how well she can play. I’ve heard about her and competition. The last thing I want to do is shame her in front of all of you,” Blake said as he slowly let his chair rest back on the ground.

The act brought him closer to me and he leaned on the table in a quiet threat.

I leaned my own arm onto the table and met his eyes, “It’s on like Donkey Kong.”

All of us except Blake’s parents, Karl, Sid, and Petra, left the table and walked to Blake’s old bedroom.

It surprised me that Karl chose not to join us. He always used to play and he was one that gave me competition when he was a kid. I had to admit that I looked forward to kicking Blake’s ass in Mortal Kombat.

His room wasn’t large, but it was big enough for all of us to fit in. Blake took a seat on his old bed and patted next to him and waggled his brows as me.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I took my seat.

“Okay, Brecken, do you need to play someone else to warm up before you take me on or do you just want to jump balls in?” he asked and brought a laugh from his friends.

“You’re so gross, Blake,” Hannah said as she tried to slowly lower herself to the floor in front of the bed. The motion of her holding her belly and maneuver herself sent a pang to my gut.

Wynn took her hand and helped her all the way to the floor and then sat next to her. Gabe, Mason, and who I learned was Toby, all stood behind the bed, their arms crossed. I felt like they were bodyguards just watching and waiting.

“I think I can handle you Blake,” I said as I lay down onto my stomach on the bed. Blake followed my movement and lay down next to me.

Damn it.

As if he could tell the nervousness he caused by lying right next to me, he leaned closer to me. “I hope my proximity to you isn’t going to mess up your game,” he whispered with a smile and let his eyes dance across my face.

“We will see, Blake,” I said as I leaned closer to him myself.

“Okay, I’d like to play sometime too,” Gabe said with a snicker. “Also I don’t think the rest of us have taken up voyeurism just yet. So if you could keep the flirtation to a minimum that would be nice.”

Hannah tried to turn to look up at him, but her belly got in the way. “Gabe, don’t be such an asshole.” She looked at me. “He’s such a crabby ass because he hasn’t gotten any himself in a while.”

Wynn rolled his eyes and shook his head as he leaned it back against the bed next to Blake. “Hannah.”

“Thank you for updating the room on my situation, Hannah,” Gabe said and Toby laughed. It was the first I had heard him laugh. He held it in as if he thought he’d burst if he let any amount out. I never trusted someone who couldn’t let their laugh out all the way. But it seemed as though Toby was just that shy.

Gabe backhanded Toby’s arm. “What are you laughing about? It isn’t like you’re any better.”

The room grew quiet as they all looked at Toby. I was unsure why they were quiet and Mason gave me a questioning look as well. I looked to Blake and he shook his head as well. So at least I wasn’t the only clueless one on that odd behavior.

“Let’s just play the game, huh?” Mason asked. “I’d like to kick Blake’s ass after Brecken does.”

The room laughed and Blake stared down Mason. “It’s on boy. It’s on.”

__________

“I can’t believe you beat me four times,” Blake said as he leaned against the wall near my door as I unlocked it.

“Believe it. Oh and I think three of those four times I used a fatality, right? You aren’t the only gamer,” I said, pushing my door open and walking in.

“Yeah, I could make an innuendo now about finish him, but I think I will keep it to myself,” Blake said with a smirk. “Oh wait, I kind of—sort of, just did, didn’t I? I mean, you’re thinking it. I can see that, plain as day. You’re such a perv Brecken,” he said on a laugh and I backhanded him before I turned on my lights and walked toward my couch.

It was only earlier today that we sat on this same couch and I dropped my bombshell on him. He took it so easily it seemed like a dream.

I took a seat and patted next to me just as he had done earlier.

He took his seat and leaned his head back and looked to the ceiling.

I lifted my legs onto the couch and sat on my knees. I leaned my elbow on the headrest and watched Blake as he thought.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked.

He took a deep breath. “Hmm,” he said as he turned his eyes to meet mine. The kindness in his eyes made my heart feel like it was going to explode. “I was thinking about how much fun I had today with you and I want to have fun with you tomorrow and the next day too. But Wednesday I don’t think I want to see you. Wednesdays always suck. But then maybe it’d be good to see you on Wednesday,” he said on a laugh and I backhanded his arm.

“You’re an asshole,” I said with a grin.

“I try,” he said. “But I do have to try pretty hard.” He turned toward me and put his arm up on the back of the couch, mirroring mine.

He turned his palm toward mine and just smiled and gave me a nod as he looked at his hand and then to mine resting on the couch. I smiled at him before lifting my palm to his. I moved it just close enough that our hands were near each other but not touching.

He pulled his bottom lip in and released it quickly before smiling. “Go ahead,” he said. “You do it.”

I touched our palms together and then lowered my fingers around his. His smile grew as he looked at our hands. “I never liked holding hands,” he said.

I laughed. “Then why do you keep holding mine?” I asked as I started to pull away, but he tightened his grip. I was pretty strong, but I was still a woman and plus he worked with his hands. I lifted my eyebrow as he smirked at my inability to pull away.

“I like holding your hand, because I like you. You’re not like anyone I’ve been with before. You’re so fucking cool,” he said with a coy grin.

“I try,” I said, mimicking his comment earlier about being an asshole. “So you’re an asshole and I’m cool. What does that make us together?”

He tilted his head to the side as he thought. “I think that makes us pretty damn compatible.”

He pulled me toward him and I sat on his lap just as we had in the car. I’m not going to lie—it felt amazing sitting on him. Our hands were still held together and I put my empty hand out for him to take the other one.

I waited for him to take it, just as he had mine.

“Where did you travel?” he asked out of the blue.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well you mentioned it earlier at my parents. You said you’d traveled. What did you do—where did you go?” he asked.

I searched his face and smiled. He was so damn cute.

“I just went wherever the road took me. I’d work odd jobs here and there. Most of the traveling took me to sacred sites, so to speak. I didn’t just stay in the states. I wanted to see the world, so I did.”

“What was the coolest place you visited?” he asked as he danced our entwined hands around.

“I would have to say it was this cave in Jamaica. It wasn’t a sacred site so to speak as in listed on the tourism guide or anything. It was up in the mountains of Jamaica. Let me tell you, it is different up there. It is peaceful and in that peace it is sacred. A local friend of mine took me to this cave that looked like it was only a hole in the ground. I assume it was kind of moronic of us to go in there now. But at the time, it was liberating. It was an unexplored cave, for all we knew. The newness of it was exciting. There was something to being in a place where you didn’t know if any other human had gone that far into. It reminded me that there is always something to learn and explore—whether it’s in our own minds or the world around us,” I said as I looked at the photograph on my shelf from inside the cave.

I let my eyes move back to Blake’s and he smiled at me with his sincerity. I didn’t control myself or hold back. I leaned into him and brought our lips together. I didn’t deepen the kiss, but I traced gentle kisses along his lips then along his jaw. I made my way to his ear and pulled his lobe between my lips and gave a gentle suck.

Our hands were still entwined and it made it difficult to move, but I wasn’t going to drop his hands.

“I like hearing you tell stories,” he said. “I like to watch you tell them too.”

I kissed behind his ear and then down his neck. “Do you? Why?” I asked.

“Because I can tell you are passionate about it. You want more of that feeling you get when you experience something new.”

“I do,” I said.

“But not right now, of course. There is nothing else new for us tonight. Except talking,” he said.

I leaned back from him. “Talking? Are you sure?”

“I’m very sure,” he said with a grin. “I’m not going to let you change your mind so quickly on what you said last night—we’re waiting—at least until my birthday.”

Figures painted in a line, all with their backs turned. None look at the reader. The writer, the painter, the creator, steps to ask the question.

When will we understand we all feel alone?
 

I looked over at Brecken as she drove to her band practice. We had spent the last few days making out and chatting about life and our pasts. I wanted more—she wanted more—but we decided to wait for a few more weeks at least. It was a first for me, and I wanted to continue waiting. It felt strange, but it was cool as fuck as well.

“So this isn’t Corrosive Underwear?” I asked.

She laughed. “No, I don’t really have to practice with them. This is Conall’s other band. Their drummer is leaving. I guess he’s moving out of state for school. They need a drummer and a female singer. I don’t think I can both drum and sing. I convinced them to try out Mason.”

“That’s cool. You think he’s ready?” I asked.

“I think he is. He’s a good drummer,” she said.

“So does that mean you’ll be singing?” I asked.

She sighed. “Yes, I think it does. I don’t know if I’m ready though. I assume that means there will be a lot of practicing going on. I’m scared shitless.”

I had no idea why she’d be scared, but I saw that she wasn’t lying.

I put my hand toward her to take and she did without hesitation.

“You have nothing to be scared of. But honestly I think you’re going to use that fear and do something awesome with it,” I said.

She looked at me and smiled. “You’re so fucking cool, Blake.”

I laughed. “That’s you—I’m the asshole remember?”

She laughed as she turned into a parking lot next to an old garage.

“This is Emmet’s place,” Brecken said. “He lets us use it.”