dissonance. (a Böhme novel) (19 page)

She shoved my arm as we stepped from the last stair. I grabbed the wrist she shoved at me and pulled her into me, walking her backwards to the line of mailboxes. I was getting ready to whisper in her ear when she put her hands onto my chest to push me away.

Fuck it all, I was trying to be romantic, and she just stared at me with determined annoyance. I wasn’t going to say anything life changing, I’m sure. Maybe it was good that she stopped me. I’d make a douche of myself if I started saying bullshit about her hair and I really would fall on my face.

“Don’t we have plans?” She crinkled her mouth as she tried not to laugh. I stepped away from her and toward the door as I put my hand in my pocket, trying to control myself.

I cleared my throat and waved toward the door, “After you, Brecken.” My voice was hoarse but held a light laugh and I cleared my throat again.

I stepped in front of the door before she could open it and held it for her, directing her to go first.

She sighed and stepped away from the wall and toward me. “Sorry, not sure how to act yet with all of this,” she said as she waved her hand back and forth between us. “I get a bit uncomfortable when I think about it too much.”

She stepped through the door and I followed after her toward my Jeep. “I make you uncomfortable?”

“No of course not—I make myself uncomfortable,” she said as I unlocked her door to let her in the car first. I held the door open for her and closed it after she took her seat. I looked at her through the glass for a moment as she nervously pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

As we started toward our destination, I found myself looking at her over and again. She had asked me about opening doors and I was telling the truth. I never found myself wanting to do it before Brecken.

It came down to wanting to be seen as worthy by her. She made me, for the first time in my life, feel like a man. My mom was wrong. I wasn’t a man those years ago after prom. I was far from it. My dad must have noticed this click in my persona before I did today. His thoughts rang through my head on choosing to follow the path laid out for you and sticking to it. I didn’t want to half ass anything with Brecken and I wanted to impress her. I wanted to prove to her that I’m not an asshole.

Brecken caught me looking over at her and she smiled, shyly at first before she laughed. She reached up and pinched my chin between her thumb and index finger before looking out the front window.

“Okay, where are we going Blake?” she asked.

“It’s a surprise,” I said as I turned to head out of the city.

She picked up on where we headed and turned in her seat to face me. I didn’t look over at her this time and my smile grew wider as her curiosity intensified.

“You aren’t planning to take me to the woods and kill me are you? Because if you are, you should know I can protect myself. I had Emmet as an older brother, remember? Plus I box,” she said as she flexed her arm.

I laughed. “I know you can Brecken and that’s why it'd be moronic of me to try to harm you. I couldn’t do it even if I wanted to. That bicep is impressive by the way,” I said as I reached for her hand. I didn’t take her hand at first but held it over hers, waiting for her to bring them the rest of the way together. She looked at my hand waiting patiently above hers and with a smile she closed the gap.

__________

“I knew this was where we were going,” she said with a smile as she released my hand to open the door.

I put my hand on her thigh to stop her. “I want to open it remember?” I asked as both our eyes went to my hand resting on her thigh.

I started to lift my hand away, and she brought her right leg closed, capturing my hand between her thighs. She rubbed her right leg against my hand and I hissed. Yeah, I hissed and she let out an airy laugh.

She pulled her lip in as she lifted her hand to my face, leaned in, and kissed me. It was the fastest first kiss I’ve received from a girl. Well, other than the one down the street when I was eight.

“I wanted to do that,” she said as she pulled away from me and released my hand from her thighs. “You got your chance last night to do something you wanted to do, so that was my turn.”

“I don’t know, that was kind of fast don’t you think? I thought you wanted to go slow?” I asked. “If you keep up with that, I might start to question your reputation.”             

“Asshole,” she said with a laugh.

“Asshole? You just had my hand in that bear trap you call your thighs.” I rubbed my hand as if she had hurt it. “You have no right to call me an asshole, when you were the one that about broke my hand.” I laughed, waving my hand at her thighs and she let her jaw drop open in shock.

“Hmm,” she said as she leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms. “I’ll wait here until you open the door for me, which honestly seems like a counterproductive use of time, but I understand the sentiment,” she said with false sincerity and waved at the door. “Do what ya gotta do.”

I just smiled. I’ve never enjoyed pissing someone off. But with Brecken it seemed we both enjoyed it.

I walked around the front of my Jeep and glanced at Brecken. She watched me move to her side of the car and I saw her trying to keep from smiling.

I opened the door and helped her jump down from the Jeep, though she didn’t need my help. She had enough independence to make any man feel useless. She let go of my hand and put her hands in her pockets.

I waved toward the renaissance faire, “Shall we, milady?”

“But of course, good sir, I do so hope there’ll be a duel or two,” she said on a wink and bow of her head.

“Aye, I s’pose there will be,” I said.

“So Blake, I have to ask,” she said as we stepped over a log placed near a tree as a parking block. “I have seen the signs and I’m positive I did read into you wrong. But I need to know for my own sake—how geeky are you?” She raised her eyebrow in question as she looked up at me.

“I didn’t realize there’s so much staked on my level of geekiness. But if you factor in all the movies I can quote, shows I’ve watched, video game companies I can list, and super hero universes I can describe in detail—I’d be a level twenty-four. I’m just a few more XP away from leveling up to twenty-five though.”

“That level of knowledge is commendable. But did you just do a copout and base it on your age?” she asked on a laugh. The wind picked up and the short pieces of hair around her face blew to the side and the sun made her brown eyes glow.
Why the fuck was she here with
me
?

“Tis not a copout milady. Tis the truth,” I said. “I still have work to do to get to the level I want.”

“Well, you better get busy then,” she said with a laugh.

We walked in silence the rest of the way up a hill. When we reached the top, we looked down over the field of tents. Music began to flow up the hill and the haunting voice of a woman echoed through the small valley, "Damn, her voice is beautiful. I want to find where that's coming from," Brecken said.

As we descended the hill, people that stepped from another time paraded in front of us. There were several women that belly-danced across the path and Brecken lifted her eyebrow at me as I watched them. I shrugged in response.

“What’d you expect?” I asked with a laugh.

“I didn’t expect anything,” she said. “I know you were just admiring their talent.”

“Yes, yes, I was,” I said with a smile as I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her near me. “But their talent is nothing compared to yours.”

“My god, you’re an idiot,” she said as she pushed me away. “Are you always this cheesy?”

I shrugged. “Most of the time.”

She rolled her eyes at me. “So do you come here every year? I haven’t been here since high school,” she said as she paused in front of a tent. “I used to come here every year with my brother when I was young.”

“I haven’t been here in a while either,” I said, watching a woman as she made candles. She dipped the candle over and again as she lifted several wicks tied to a stick in and out of the pot of melted wax.

The older woman nodded at us and gave a toothless smile as she continued with her work. Brecken lifted her eyebrow at me and her smile grew as she watched the woman. “You want one?” I asked.

“No, I’m good,” she said as she quietly nodded to the woman and walked away. I followed behind her, letting her lead the way to the tent she wanted to visit next.

We walked past several tents, until she stepped into a darkened one. She peeked inside before turning to me with a smile. I followed her in and a man working a knife on a leather strop nodded to us.

"Holy shit," I said as I picked up a great-sword. “This is fucking awesome.”

Brecken stood next to me and picked up a sword of her own. "Mine's bigger." She laughed. "Want to fight?"

"Nope, I heard about you and fighting. Your brother warned me," I said as I set the sword down.

"He didn't!" she said in shock.

I nodded.

"That asshole. Yes, I'm competitive, but that doesn't make me a bitch or unbearable. I can separate life from competition," she said on a sigh.

"Well, he said in arguments as well," I said with hesitation. “I’m pretty sure that would fall under the definition of life.”

"Damn it, that fucker." She put her sword down. "I'm not really that big of an ass. I just don't like bullshit and if you’re wrong I will let you know."

"Neither do I," I said. “I don’t think your brother was meaning the wrongs you point out, but that you don’t like to be told when you’re wrong.”

“Oh ouch, that’s a tough subject for our first date isn’t it?” she said, bringing a laugh from the man sharpening the knife. I looked over at him and he gave me a nod of sympathy.

“I suppose it is, but Mason made it a point to say last night that there is no sense in not jumping right into the heavy stuff.”

“You’re taking advice from an eighteen year old? Maybe he’s right. But it doesn’t make much sense to be discussing my hypocrisy while I have a giant knife in my hand does it?” she asked with a raised brow and a smirk.

“Holy shit, you two are funny. May I make a suggestion?” the random dude sharpening the knife said.

Since he held about a twelve inch knife, I wasn’t going to decline his suggestion, so I gave him a nod. “Of course, man,” I said.

Brecken gave a light laugh as she twirled a sword that was propped up in a stand.

“From what I’ve heard of you two, this is your first date, no?” he asked and we both nodded.

“From what I remember of dating—I haven’t since my wife and I married twenty years ago, mind you. Anyway, from what I remember, the first date makes you all nervous about what to say or do. It’s tedious. You must be somewhat comfortable with each other to be talking as you are. What the fuck’s a conversation on who’s right or wrong to ya? Get over yerselves and just go with it,” he said as he straightened his shoulders and lifted the knife toward us. “That or you just duke it out and go your separate ways.” He laughed.

“I suggest duking it out,” Brecken said in seriousness as she nodded her head and crossed her arms. “Don’t you Blake?” She turned to me, grinning with sarcasm.

“I don’t think so, but thank you for the suggestion, sir,” I said as I took Brecken’s hand to lead her from the tent. I didn’t care if she didn’t want to hold my hand, I didn’t even ask that time.

"Can we find the musicians now?" she asked with a smile, abandoning the conversation on fights. She started to pull me toward the next row of tents.

We didn't have far to go, because just on the other side of the sword tent we found the stage. "I want to listen for a bit," Brecken said as we took a seat on the grass under a tree.

We sat there in silence as we listened to the woman sing old Celtic songs without instruments accompanying her. A group of men came to join her and the man began to sing a song in Irish Gaelic. I couldn't recognize any of the words, but I recognized the song as one my dad always liked to sing. I watched Brecken as she took in the song and I saw tears form in her eyes. I didn't lift my hand to comfort her, I just watched. I honestly have no idea how to react when people cry.

Tears are not something I handle well. When it comes to tears with chicks I feel this weight on my shoulders that makes me clench every muscle in my body. I get tense and never know how to respond. Do I hug her? Pat her shoulder? What the hell is the correct response?

The contrast to her tough attitude only minutes ago was surreal. I lifted my hand to put it on her shoulder to let her know, whatever she had going on, I would help. Well I could try; I just wasn’t sure how much help I’d be. Before my hand touched her, she looked over at me with a happy smile. I pulled my hand back.

She felt the music, and that’s where the tears came from. She wasn't crying because she wanted something or because I was a dick. She cried from the deep emotion the music evoked in her. It was the same last night when she saw the painting. Music consumed her, and in her tears I saw something beautiful.

The song ended, and the band left the stage as another band took their place. She sighed as she lay back on the ground and looked to the sky. "That was fucking beautiful," she said.