Divine Mortals (24 page)

“Smaller assets like vehicles etc are to be divided between yourself and your brother as you see fit. Other than vehicles and property your parents owned no other assets that are listed here, there is only their life insurance that will be paid out, again equally, between your brother and yourself, yours will be held in trust until your eighteenth birthday which is only a few weeks away I see, so probably with the time this will take to clear you will have access to the money basically straight away.” He paused fidgeting a little, he looked uncomfortable now. Was this what I had come here for? Surely this whole thing could have been conducted over the phone. I barely had control of my tears, and my hand was starting to throb where I squeezed it, but I didn’t let up.

“The life insurance your parents had was rather substantial Miss Dan… ah, Ava, in total coming to just over two million dollars,” this time he paused for effect, his eyes curious. I knew that I should have reacted to such a large amount of money but to be quite honest I could hardly breathe enough to understand, and in any case I would give every cent of it back if it meant that these circumstances were reversed.

“Do you understand what I’m telling you Ava?” his voice soft, breaking though my thoughts, I nodded again.

“This will be split evenly between yourself and your brother and deposited into your bank accounts by the twentieth of next month. There is also a private sealed letter addressed to each of you from your parents, Joel is collecting his from our London office, yours is here.” He pushed a small white envelope across the table towards me. I froze, my breathing stopped altogether and I went completely numb. My mother’s slanting hand arched across the front of the envelope, I couldn’t touch it, whatever it was my parents had left for me in case of their deaths I just could not touch, not yet.

The room began to spin slowly, like a bad carousel ride and I squeezed again on the small tortured piece of skin on my right hand, I felt a sharp sting and wondered remotely if I had drawn blood but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the envelope to look, I was welded to the spot.

Mr Bannister cleared his throat once and then a second time in a purposeful manner but I still couldn’t tear my eyes from the envelope, another sheet of paper slid across the table suddenly blocking it from view.

“If you could sign this release form Ava,” his voice was full of sympathy, I couldn’t stand it.

“It gives permission for me to release everything we have discussed today into your name, your share of assets and insurance as well as this small package.”

I had read about outer body experiences and I couldn’t be sure if this was what I was experiencing but suddenly I was floating somewhere behind my lawyer, watching myself, or more correctly watching what could only be called the shell of myself lean forward to take the pen. I moved like a robot, slow and deliberate with no emotion except that of extreme pain, my eyes were red rimmed and I noticed vaguely that there was blood on my right hand where my nails had punctured the skin. I looked broken, my skin had the pallor and appearance of someone much older, so pale and translucent I could almost see my blood pumping through the veins beneath it. I signed my name mechanically on the sheet he had presented, not bothering to read it, pulling back as soon as I had finished as though the page itself had burnt me.

And then I was me again, seated and staring at my lawyer in what probably appeared to be a deranged way. Somewhere deep inside I heard my mind screaming.

Pull yourself together.

I swallowed and took a breath, breaking out of the state I was in just long enough to operate on auto pilot, long enough to get the hell out of here.

“Is that all you need?” my voice shook in a hopeful whisper.

“Ahhh yes dear that’s all, you can leave if you like, I’m sorry if this has been too hard on you.”

I didn’t pause to answer, snatching the envelope from the coffee table I sprinted from the suffocating office, I needed air, I needed to get out.

Stuffing the envelope into my handbag I ran through the reception area, the receptionist looked shocked at my abrupt exit and stood quickly calling something to me as I bolted through the main doors and into the fresh cool Denver air. I didn’t pause though, I couldn’t, I needed to breathe.

I ran on to the side walk, almost knocking over a pedestrian, and continued up the street, only vaguely aware of the stares directed at me as I ran past, thankfully the car wasn’t far away. I got to the passenger door and dug in my handbag fumbling for the keys, tears streamed down my face, dripping onto my searching hands. I wiped my sleeve across my face trying to clear my vision long enough to locate them. Finally I felt my fingers brush over the chunky set and I dragged them out, they slipped through my fingers as I pulled them free, falling towards the pavement but they didn’t land, a golden hand flew forward, grabbing them mid fall. I turned, shocked, he was here, his arms already drawing me against his safe warmth, he murmured soft words to me that I couldn’t make out, somehow we were suddenly in the back seat. He didn’t put me down or release me, he just held me tight against his hard chest, his cheek resting gently on the top of my head, rocking me slowly the same way you would soothe a child, one hand stroking the length of my hair while I cried. I wept more than I had since the accident, all of it coming out in heaving sobs. Roberts patience never waned and his grip never loosened. And I loved him all the more for his silence, he never once asked any questions, he was just there.

My rock.

Thoughts and memories of my parents tumbled from the recesses of my mind playing out clearly to me, I knew this fresh grief was the final chapter to my mourning, this was where the gaping wound in my heart sealed and I would finally start to heal. This was closure.

My thoughts began to change from a deep sense of heart ache and longing to a sense of gratitude for their existence at all.

I don’t know how long we sat there, when I finally opened my eyes the sun was high in the sky.

I moved slowly, turning in his arms until I could see his face, the look of pain in his eyes was so pronounced it almost set me off again, his worry painted so vividly for me to see. His dark eyes were bottomless, although he didn’t make me feel like I was sinking, as sympathy so often seemed to do, he made me feel loved beyond any shadow of a doubt.

“I’m here,” he whispered as he leant forward slowly, his warm lips pressing gently to my forehead for just a moment.

“I know.” I whispered back, my voice barely a croak, pulling me close I could feel his lips curl against my forehead as he smiled. Slowly I became aware of my body and surroundings again, the protective numbness my mind had created quietly slipping away. For the first time in weeks I didn’t feel the constant tug of loss. I felt exhausted beyond belief but the grief that had been my constant companion these last weeks had lessened its grip and I felt a small amount of optimism, a lightness, a feeling of my old self again and I knew for the first time since the accident that I was in fact going to be all right.

I also knew Robert had played a major part in my healing.

“How did you know where to come?” I asked softly, not meeting his eyes,

“I heard you,” his answer was just as soft and I wasn’t angry at him for listening to my conversation.

“And despite that,” he smiled a soft sad smile, “I would be able to find you wherever you are Ava, you are part of me now, my most important part.”

My stomach fluttered and his touch sent small hot currents of electricity through me. I was completely speechless, it must have shown in my expression as I groped for words, Robert smiled as he watched me silently open and close my mouth like a goldfish.

Intense pain suddenly gripped my calf muscle, a hot fire streaming from ankle to knee where my leg had been squashed against the front seat for who knew how long.

“Ahhh,” I cried out, grabbing my calf.

“What?” his voice instantly serious,

“Cramp,” I groaned. His long fingers quickly pushed mine away as he began to massage the convulsing muscle. I couldn’t tell whether this was helping or hurting until the twinges began to recede. Robert smirked as his fingers worked out the painful spasms.

“What?”

“Trust you to ruin the moment I choose to declare myself with a cramp,” he chuckled slightly not taking his eyes from the job at hand, I grinned a little sheepishly.

“Sorry,”

“It’s okay,” he smiled, “I think you knew that anyway…”

“I did, I think?” I sounded shy, “It was nice to hear it though,”

“I mean it.” his look was serious again,

“I know.”

The cramp had gone and I pulled my leg gently from his grasp.

“Can you take me home please.”

The previous beauty of Denver had diminished and I needed the comfort of my grandparent’s cozy house, my home.

“I’ll take you anywhere.” he whispered, kissing me so quickly I wasn’t sure if I had imagined it, then before I could blink he was out the door and holding his hand towards me to help me out.

I began to doze as we left the city limits, paddocks and animals began dominating the landscape again and we were well on our way back to Huntington when I realized with a jolt that Robert was driving my car home.

“How did you get here?”

“I ran,” his answer was casual, his eyes never leaving the road,

“Ran!”

“You sound surprised,”

“I know, I shouldn’t be I guess,”

“Something else interesting happened today…” he kept his voice measured, his eyes flicking to my face only briefly, I stayed silent allowing him to continue.

“I heard you, and I don’t mean before you left this morning,” he added quickly, before I could tell him that this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, well ordinary for us.

“I heard you speaking to someone when I was only half way here, you met Will this morning didn’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

It took a moment for this to sink in and I fought to control my features,

“How far away
were
you?” my voice was low, almost a whisper as I forced myself not to sound alarmed.

“About fifty miles.” Roberts eyes flicked towards me again, incredulous, he was struggling not to sound alarmed himself,

“You heard me from fifty miles away!” I had lost control of my voice now, fifty miles, that meant he would be able to hear me wherever I was. Robert didn’t answer he just nodded, throwing me an apologetic look. I took a deep breath trying to calm my thoughts and think logically,

“How?”

“I’m not totally sure?” his answer was measured, “I was so worried about you, all I could do was think of you as I ran towards Denver, and I guess I have never been as close to anyone before as I am to you now, perhaps the fact that you and I are so, well, close and I was so completely focused on you it made it possible for me to hear you, but not in the normal way, I mean…” He paused, running his fingers through his hair,

“It wasn’t like hearing,” His golden brown eyes flashed to my face,

“I mean I could hear you, but it was as though your words were in my head, as though you were speaking in my mind. Arrrgghhhhh,”

His hair was standing on end now,

“I’m making no sense.” He muttered.

I pondered this, it was as good an explanation as any, I doubted if either of us would really be able to know how this was actually possible.

“How much did you hear, of…” I swallowed, “of my meeting.”

“Nothing.” he gave me a solemn look, “As soon as I heard you go into the Lawyers I stopped listening,”

I said nothing, just raising my eyebrows at him. He smiled at my unspoken question.

“Just because I can listen doesn’t mean I won’t give you privacy Ava, I know when I shouldn’t listen, that time was personal for you.”

“I don’t know, I mean, if I had your ability I don’t know if I would be able to curb my curiosity and ‘switch off’.”

“You’re right you wouldn’t be able to, you are Norma’s granddaughter after all.” He gave me a winning grin to smooth over his quip, I ignored it, besides I couldn’t deny Nans love of gossip.

“Would you like to know what happened?” I asked,

“Only if you want to tell me, you don’t have to.” he finished quickly.

“I want to.” I reached for his hand and then I told him everything about my conversation with Arthur Bannister. He nodded as he listened, never interrupting, I saw him draw breath slightly at the mention of the insurance money but he didn’t react any more than that.

“Are you going to open it?” his voice was soft, I thought of the envelope sitting deep in my handbag.

“I don’t know, not yet, I think I’ll know when the times right.”

He nodded, and let it drop, I appreciated that he didn’t push the subject.

Silence enveloped us once more, I lay my seat back, feeling lighter than I had in weeks.

“Ava,” his voice could probably pull me back from the dead.

“Mmmm,” I stretched my arms, yawning, my hand stung a little from my self-inflicted injury.

“You need to drive from here.” His smile was warm, I sat up properly and took in our surroundings. It was almost dark, a faint pink light still showed above the not so distant peaks, the rest of the sky overhead was a deep dark blue and glowed with the first sprinkling of early stars, we were outside the workers huts, I was almost home.

“I don’t think your Grandparents would believe my illness story if they saw me drive you up to your back door.”

“You told them you were sick?” I suppressed a smile, the thought of Robert in anything other than perfect health was laughable.

“How else was I going to be able to go missing for an entire day without raising suspicion?” His eyes twinkled and his lips pulled back into a conspiring smile as he climbed from the drivers seat.

I stepped out of the car and into his arms with more force than I had intended, my reaction surprised him as much as me as I pressed my lips onto his urgently, searching for him and he answering all to willingly. I felt him start to pull away almost instantly and I resisted, pinning myself against him.

“Ava,” he chuckled, “We’re being watched.”