Read Do Elephants Jump? Online
Authors: David Feldman
“Dead End” signs, versus “No Outlet” signs
“Deaf and dumb”
Decaffeinated coffee
leftover caffeine usage
orange pots in restaurants
“Deep-six”
Deer, automobile headlights and
Deer ornaments, plastic lawn
Dehumidifiers, operation of
Delaware, incorporations in
Dentist offices, smell of
Deodorant aerosols, shaking of
Desert, rising cool air in
Dessert, fast-food restaurants and
Detergents, laundry
bleach in
package sizes of
Detroit Red Wings and octopus throwing
Diagonal measurement of TV sets
Dictionaries
pronunciation and
thumb notches in
Diet soft drinks
calorie constituents in
phenylalanine as ingredient in
Dimples
auto headlamps
facial
golf balls
Dinner knives, rounded edges of
Dinner plates
repositioning of
round shape of
Dirt, refilling of, in holes
Disc jockeys and lack of song identification
“Discussing Uganda,” origins of term
Dishwashers, two compartments of
Disney cartoon characters
Donald Duck
Goofy
Mickey Mouse
Disposable lighters, fluid chambers of
Distilleries, liquor, during Prohibition
Ditto masters, color of
“Dixie”
Dixieland music at political rallies
“Dixieland”
DNA, identical twins and
Doctors, back tapping of
Doctors and bad penmanship
“Dog days”
Dogs
barking, laryngitis in
black lips of
body odor of
cavities and
circling before lying down
crooked back legs of
Dalmatians and firefighting
drooling in
eating cat feces
eating posture of
head tilting of
lifting legs to urinate in
miniature
poodles, wild
rear-leg wiggling, when scratched
“sic” command
sticking head out of car windows in
wet noses
Dollar sign, origins of
Dolls, hair of
Donald Duck, brother of
Donkey Kong, origins of
“
DONT WALK
” signs, lack of apostrophes in
Doors
double, in stores
knobs versus handles on
opening orientation of, in buildings
shopping mall entrances
“
THIS DOOR TO REMAIN UNLOCKED DURING BUSINESS HOURS
” signs, in stores
“Doozy”
“Do-re-mi”
Dots on cue balls, in pool
Double doors in stores
“Doubleheader”
Double-jointedness
Double-yolk eggs
Doughnuts
tissues and handling in stores
origins of holes in
Downhill ski poles, shape of
Dr Pepper
origins of name
punctuation of
Drains, location of bathtub
“Draw a Bead,” origins of term
Dreams, nap versus nighttime
Drinking glasses, “sweating” of
Dripless candles, whereabouts of wax in
“Driveway”
Driveways, driving on, versus parkways
Driving, left- versus right-hand side
Drooling, dogs and
Drowsiness after meals
Drugstores, high platforms in
“Dry,” as terms for wines
Dry-cleaning
French
garment labels and
One Hour Martinizing
raincoats and
Dryers, hand
in bathrooms
“off” switches
Ducks
lakes and ponds and
on Cadillacs
Duels, timing of
Dugouts, height of
“Dukes”
“Dumb [mute]”
“Dumbbells”
Dust, ceiling fans and
E
as school grade
on eye charts
“Eagle [golf score]”
Earlobes, function of
“Earmark”
Earrings, pirates and
Ears
hairy, in old men
popping in airplanes
ringing, causes of
Earthworms as fish food
Easter
chocolate bunnies and
dates of
ham consumption at
“Easy as pie”
Eating, effect of sleep on
“Eavesdropper”
Ebert, Roger, versus Gene Siskel, billing of
Egg, versus chicken
Egg whites and copper bowls
Eggs
color of
double-yolk
hard-boiled, discoloration of
meaning of grading of
sizes of
“Eggs Benedict”
“Eighty-six,” origins of term
Elbow macaroni, shape of
Elderly men
pants height and
shortness of
Elections, U.S.
timing of
Tuesdays and
Electric can openers, sharpness of blades on
Electric drip versus electric perk, in coffee
Electric perk versus electric drip, in coffee
Electric plug prongs
holes at end of
three prongs versus two prongs
Electricity, AC versus DC
Electricity, static, variability in amounts of
Elephants
disposal of remains of
jumping ability of
Oakland A’s uniforms
rocking in zoos
Elevator doors
changing directions
holes
Elevators
overloading of
passenger capacity in
“Eleventh hour”
Emergency Broadcasting System, length of test
“Emergency feed” on paper towel dispensers
Emmy awards, origins of name
English, driving habits of
English horn, naming of
English muffins
in England
white particles on
Envelopes
Christmas cards, paper bands on
colored stickers on
computer scrawls on
red letters on back of
return windows on
size of, in bills
Escalator knobs, purpose of
Escalators
green lights on
rail speed of
Evaporated milk
refrigeration of
soldered cans and
Evolution, loss of body hair and
Exclamation marks in telegrams
Executions
autopsies after
hours of
“
EXEMPT
” signs at railroad crossings
Expiration dates
on bottled waters
on fire extinguishers
on toothpaste
Exposures, number of, in film
Exterminators, hard hats and
Extremities, wrinkles on
Eye chart, E on
Eye closure during kissing
Eyeglasses and nerdiness
Eyes
bags under
floaters and
pain, when tired
position, during sleep
rubbing of, when tired
sneezing and
Fading, causes of
Fahrenheit scale
increments in
zero degrees, meaning of
Fainting and women, lessening of
“
FALLING ROCK
” signs, purpose of
Falsetto voices
techniques for men producing
women’s inability to produce
“Fan [loyal partisan]”
Fan speeds, order of
Farm plots, circular shape of
Fast-food restaurants, dessert and
Fat people and alleged jolliness
Fathers, new, passing out of cigars and
Fats, on nutrition labels
Faucets, water
“FD&C,” meaning of, on food and shampoo labels
Federal Express, hours of employees of
Feet, swelling in airplanes of
Fences, height restrictions of
Field goals, measurement of
Fifty-five mph
reasons for speed limit of
speedometers and
Fighting Irish, Notre Dame and
Figure skating and dizziness
“Filibuster”
“Filipino,” spelling of
Film
countdown leader on
measurement of, in millimeters
number of exposures in
prints, after theatrical runs
wagon wheels in, movement of
width of
X- and XXX-ratings
Filters, cigarette, brown spots on
“Filthy lucre”
“Fin [five-dollar bill]”
Fingernails
biting of
growth of, versus toenails
growth of, after death
lunula on
yellowing of, and nail polish
Fingers, length of
“Fink”
Fire, crackling sound of
Fire extinguishers, expiration date on
Fire helmets, shape of
Fire hydrants
freezing of water in
shape of valve stems of
Fire trucks, roofs of
Firearms, confiscated, after arrests
Fireplaces, rain in
First basemen, ball custody of, in baseball
First class mail, priority mail versus
Fish [see also specific types]
biting in rain
eating preferences
fear of, in aquariums
floating upon death
pebble spitting
return to dried-up lakes and ponds
saltwater coloration
sleep patterns
urination
Fish tanks, oxygen in
Flagpoles, balls atop
Flags, Japanese, red beams and
Flags, U.S.
half-mast
on airplanes
“Flak”
“Flammable,” versus “inflammable”
“Flash in the pan”
Flashlights, police and grips of
Flat toothpicks, purpose of
“Flea market”
Flies
landing patterns of
winter and
Flintstones, Barney Rubble’s profession on
Flintstones multivitamins, Betty Rubble and
Floaters in eyes
Floral graphics on mattresses
Florida, cost of auto rentals in
“Flotsam,” versus “jetsam”
Flour, bleached
Flour bugs, provenance of
Flour tortillas, size of, versus corn
Flu, body aches and
Fluorescent lights and plinking noises
Flush handles, toilets and
Flushes, loud, toilets in public restrooms and
Fly swatters, holes in
FM radio, odd frequency numbers of
Food cravings in pregnant women
Food labels
“FD&C” on label
lack of manufacturer street addresses
Football
barefoot kickers in
college, redshirting in
distribution of game balls
goalposts, tearing down of
measurement of first-down yardage
origins of “hut” in
Pittsburgh Steelers’ helmet emblems
shape of
sideline population in
tearing down of goalposts
two-minute warning and
yardage of kickers in
“Fore,” origins of golf expression
Forewords in books, versus introductions and prefaces
Forks, switching hands to use
“Fortnight”
Fraternities, Greek names of
“Freebooter”
Freezer compartments, location of, in refrigerators
Freezers
ice trays in
lights in
French dry cleaning
French horns, design of
“French” bread versus “Italian”
“French” style green beans
Frogs
eye closure when swallowing
warts and
Frogs of violins, white dots on
Frostbite, penguin feet and
Fruitcake, alleged popularity of
“Fry”
Fuel gauges in automobiles
“Fullback”
Full-service versus self-service, pricing of, at gas stations