Do or Di (27 page)

“If you and Colin can spare a night, we’ll do dinner and get a couple extra tickets to the show.”

“No!”

“Oh.” My mother’s voice took on a hurt tone. Here she’s invited her daughter and supposed long-term love to a romantic theatre extravaganza and I’ve shot her down.

“I mean, I’ve already seen it. Colin isn’t much for musical theater,” I stumbled. Maybe this will be the reason we break off our imaginary relationship. Failure to share a love of overblown musicals. Then again, we also have the shoe-throwing incident.

“Well then, we’ll do dinner. You pick the place.”

“Um, you sure you wouldn’t rather stay at a hotel? You and Dad always like the Alexis. If you wanted to try out somewhere new, I could check out a few other places. The hotel isn’t that far. They have a spa. You know how you love a spa. I could book us in for side-by-side pedicures or something. You could walk right down.”

“Don’t you worry about me. Sleeping on your couch will be like camping out. I never spend time just with you and I know you’ve felt left out.”
Great, my whole life I craved attention from my mom and she has to pick now to give it to me.
“I’ve never been camping before. Your dad considers staying at a Holiday Inn to be roughing it. I always wanted to try camping. Do you remember how you crazy you were for the idea of camping?”

“Camping?”

“Yes. You were always the one who wanted to do something different. I think you were reading those Little House on the Prairie books, and you got it into your head that you wanted to travel across the States in a camper van. Don’t you remember?”

I could not fathom there was ever a time when I wanted to camp.

“I guess I don’t remember. Are you sure it was me?”

My mom gave a sigh. “Yes, it was you. It was the summer before I became pregnant with Claire. You planned the whole trip out on a map you made yourself. You drew the US and a black line starting at ‘here’ and going to ‘there.’ You kept talking about how we would learn to cook on an open fire and that as long as we were smart we didn’t have to worry about bears.”

“I can’t picture Dad in a coonskin cap holding off a bear.”

My mom laughed.

“No, he would try and
negotiate
with a bear. At any rate your dad put his foot down. He wasn’t a camper and he didn’t raise you kids to be campers. I think we went to Florida instead. He kept trying to convince you that the hotel would be better because there was a water park, but you weren’t buying it.”

“I remember the water park. You know, Dad might have been on to something with the whole comfort-is-key thing. You don’t have to stay here. You might be more comfortable at a hotel.”

“It will be something new. An adventure, just because your dad doesn’t like them doesn’t mean it’s too late for me to spread my wings.”

I wondered if my mom was recalling the situation correctly. It sounded like a bit of revisionist history. My dad never disagreed with my mom. If she had suggested that they take up bank robbery to fund their retirement and my dad would strap on the ski mask without hesitation. If my mom had a desire to camp, my dad wouldn’t have shot her down.

“I’m not sure if Colin will be able join us if you come out,” I mumble. “He’s quite busy with a few things at work.” Not to mention I wasn’t entirely sure he was still speaking to me.

“Oh, I’m sure he’d jump at a chance to meet me, the same as I can’t wait to meet him. I bet he’s a charmer.”

“Oh, he’s a charmer all right.”

“We have to make sure he deserves you.”

“I bet he wonders what he’s done to deserve me,” I said.

“Well then, it’s settled. I’ll see you on Friday. You tell Colin I can’t hardly wait.”

“I’m sure he can’t either,” I shot back and blew a few good-bye kisses into the phone. I hung up and turned around to face Diana. She was on the couch, her legs tucked up under her, hands clutched to her chest.

“A family visit! This should be interesting. We’ll have to get a few flowers, and if you don’t mind me being a bit blunt, this place could use a good clean. Don’t look mad, I’m sure it is at least partly Rooster’s fault, all that shedding.”

“This is your fault. If I hadn’t been telling you to stay put my mom never would have thought I was inviting her. My mother can’t stay here. This is a going to be a mess.”

“Is your concern explaining me, the situation with Colin, or Jonathon? If it’s me, I promise to be on my best behavior.”

“You are not helping. When I say things are a mess, I don’t mean the apartment. I mean my life. Everything is falling apart.”

“You enjoy cooking. You should know you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet. So why are you lying to your mom?”

“You’re going to give advice on the mother/daughter relationship now?”

“Your mom sounds so nice.”

“She is nice. She’s really nice.” I wave my hands incapable of explaining my mother. “My mom is hard to explain. It’s one of those things were she’s so nice, so perfect that it can be annoying.”

“Maybe you should just try being honest with her,” Diana said.

“Will you stop already with the advice? I know that dishonesty is not the best policy.”

“Then why did you lie to your mom? Why not just tell her that things with Colin are nothing more than a publicity stunt?”

“I don’t know.” I threw my hands up in the air. “I want to make her happy.”

“Aha! Have you asked yourself why you believe your mom wouldn’t be happy with who you really are?”

I swallowed hard. I felt like I had the bed spins only I was standing up and not drunk. I closed my eyes for a moment to try and regain my equilibrium. I sat down hard on the sofa.

“I don’t think my mom ever knew who I was to decide if she liked me or not.”

“Do you know who you really are?”

“You know, I used to think I did, but I’m not so sure anymore.” I sat quietly thinking things over.

“Wanna make some popcorn?” Rooster gave a woof indicating his approval of the plan. “We could put in one of the old movies you like and you can explain again why it’s so much better than the movies they make now.”

“You should go to school tomorrow. You remember school, don’t you? I know you know everything already with the past life thing and all, but Diana wasn’t the swiftest in the school department. She didn’t have to worry about paying job, but with fewer princes on the open market, I think you should get an education. It wouldn’t hurt you to go to school. Besides, I need to get up early and go to work. You’re only offering to watch old movies to make me happy.”

“Is it working?”

“Could be.” I pushed up off the sofa. Tomorrow was the climb. I could fall into a ravine and die or be eaten by a rabid raccoon. Might as well enjoy the hours I have left. “You rev up the microwave. Melt some extra butter too.” I started flicking through my DVD pile. “Have I forced you to watch
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir
yet?”

“Nope.” Diana took off at a run and then slid into the kitchen.

“You’ll like this one, there’s a know-it-all ghost.”

“Sounds perfect!”

It did sound pretty perfect.

Despite my hopes that the day would start with a freak snowstorm that would prevent anyone from going out at all, let alone climbing a mountain, I had to settle for merely overcast. I dropped Diana off at school and she vowed she would stay the whole day.

We were climbing one of the mountains near Issaquah. It is a popular destination for granola types. Apparently, you can walk to the top, although I’ve never seen a reason to try before today. I am not an outdoorsy, sports-focused type of girl, despite my mother’s belief that I used to have the heart of a camper. If I play volleyball I’m always the one who gets smacked right in the face with the ball. If I’m outside for any occasion I’m always the one who gets stung by a flying parasite and swell up.

Even after I dropped off Diana, I still hadn’t decided if I should admit I wasn’t the sporty type and beg out or if I should learn to embrace things outside my comfort zone and go for it. Both seemed to have significant downsides.

The crew met me at the base of the mountain in the parking lot. Today we were going to do the show live with Colin remaining in the studio. I’d decked myself out in my new hiking boots and what looked to me like an appropriate hiking ensemble: black stretch pants, T-shirt, and fleece jacket. I had a backpack which I’d filled with granola snacks and bottled water. I felt borderline sporty, to tell the truth. I would not admit this to anyone, but I’d been walking up and down the staircase in my building as a sort of training program. I did a few deep knee bends as a stretch.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked Avita who was leaning against her car.

“I was going to wait down here.”

I wanted Avita with me. I figured we would have a couple good hours of bonding time in between the times we’d be calling into the station. I wanted to tell her where things stood with Jonathon and find a way to patch things up. On the trail she wouldn’t have the option of just leaving.

“You are the producer of the show. I think you would want to be involved. You’ve never done one of these live feeds before, there must be a lot to learn.”

“I think I would rather learn it from here in the parking lot. Do you know how far it is to the top? Besides, look at that sign.” Avita pointed to the start of the trailhead.

There was a large yellow warning sign hanging over the gate. It read:

“WARNING. This trail is not for amateur hikers. Beware of wild animals, including bears that may be encountered. Please do not wander off the marked trail due to extreme drop-offs. All hikers should leave their names and estimated climbing times with someone so that if they are injured, or go missing, search and rescue can be contacted.”

“I’m sure they just put that up there for legal purposes. It can’t be that bad. It’s not like we’re at Everest base camp. Haven’t you noticed the lack of Sherpas?”

“What about the guy who died up here last year when he wandered off the trail to take pictures and fell to his death? It took them weeks to find his body.” She paused. “I heard the animals had chewed on him for a bit.”

“Well, we aren’t going to wander off the trails, so we should be fine. Come on, you were the one who loved the idea of all these live feeds. If you don’t come, I’ll tell Pam you weren’t very committed.” Avita gave her car one last desperate look and then started after me. The sound guy, Scott, was in the lead. He was in charge of carrying the equipment. We would call into the show on a cell phone at regular intervals on the way up. Scott was responsible for making sure the cell connected with a minimum of distortion and background noise. He also carried a receiver so he and Avita could hear the show. I kept reminding myself that if Colin could climb up this mountain for fun, then certainly I was capable of climbing up it to make my career. Besides if you wouldn’t see Diane Sawyer or Christiane Amanpour backing down from this kind of thing.

The trail went from parking lot to forest in a matter of feet. The concrete ended and turned into a soft floor of browned pine needles. It was cooler in the shade and I zipped up my fleece to stay warm. The trail was a worn rut in the ground, and every few yards there was a red metal diamond nailed into a tree to help ensure you were staying on track. It was steep, and there were wood braces hammered into the hillside to make crude steps.
It’s just a big StairMaster
. I could do this.