Doctor Who: Festival of Death: 50th Anniversary Edition (7 page)

‘The Doctor wouldn’t sabotage anything,’ said Romana. ‘You’re obviously suffering from some sort of delusion.’

‘Me… deluded? I suppose you’re also going to claim that the G-Lock is going to be destroyed in a few hours?’ said Metcalf.

‘Yes. The Doctor…’

‘Oh yes.’ Metcalf raised a podgy finger, and the guards snapped their heels to attention. The two nearest guards placed their hands on Romana’s shoulders and waist. ‘Guards, take Romana to see the Doctor.’

‘We haven’t finished our questioning yet,’ said Dunkal. ‘Romana, what were you doing when the zombies –’

Metcalf leapt to his feet as if his chair had been set alight. ‘For the final time, Investigator. If I say someone is guilty, then as far as you are concerned, they are guilty,’ he said. ‘That is all the evidence you need. Understand?’

Dunkal spat out his cigarette. ‘Oh, I understand.’

‘Most gratifying. Guards, away.’ Metcalf plumped himself back down, and the guards bustled Romana out of the office.

*

The sonic screwdriver shrilled, the lock bleeped, and the cell door clattered upwards.

The Doctor ushered K-9 forward. ‘Come on, K-9!’ he whispered.

All of a sudden, a thickset arm swung around the Doctor’s neck, and the sonic screwdriver was wrenched out of his hand. ‘Oh no, you’re not getting out like that again!’

The arm tightened, throttling the Doctor. He tried in vain to pull himself free. ‘Again?’

The guard twisted the Doctor round. The Doctor had a fleeting impression of an ugly, contemptuous face, and then was shoved back into the cell. He slammed into the bench and the cell door rattled shut.

The Doctor sat up and rubbed his neck. K-9 approached him, concerned.

‘I’m all right, K-9. A little bruised pride, that’s all.’ The Doctor gazed at his empty hand. ‘He took my sonic screwdriver, the slubberdegullion swine!’

He picked up his hat and jammed it on to his head. He got to his feet and ran a finger across the door. ‘All right. Plan B. K-9, do you think you could blast a hole in this? A big hole?’

K-9 inspected the door with his probe. ‘Negative, master. The molecular constitution is too compact.’

‘You mean you can’t get us out of here?’

‘It is beyond my capabilities,’ said K-9 sadly. ‘However, there is still the potential for liberation.’

‘Is there?’

‘The mistress Romana.’

‘Of course! The mistress Romana! She’s bound to come and rescue us.’

The door whizzed open and the guard bundled Romana into the cell, sending her piling into the opposite wall. The door slammed down after her.

Romana picked herself up, tugging her cuffs into place. She regarded the Doctor and K-9. ‘Well, you might at least look pleased to see me.’

*

The Doctor boggled. ‘Time eddies?’

Romana drew a weary breath. For some minutes, she had described her experiences; the woman in the medical ward, the chase through the depths of the ship, her awakening and subsequent arrest. The Doctor had listened, his expression switching from concern to bafflement.

The Doctor continued. ‘Echoes of the past. You said when we landed we could have skipped over our time paths.’

‘Doctor, that is preposterous.’

‘You disturb the surface of time, and the ripples expand outwards. Eventually you get resonances, aftershocks. We Time Lords have a unique sensitivity to distortions in time, you know.’

‘Yes, you have mentioned it once or twice.’

‘Suggestion, mistress.’ K-9 trundled across the cell floor.

‘Go on.’

‘The events you describe appear to be constructed to convey a specific impression,’ announced K-9. ‘A warning.’

‘A warning. From the past to the future.’ Romana felt a chill run down her back. K-9 was right; the girl had led her to that place for a reason. A place where something terrible had once happened.

‘A warning? A warning of what?’ asked the Doctor.

‘Insufficient data.’

The Doctor harrumphed. ‘What good is a warning if you don’t know what you’re being warned about?’

‘I think K-9 is on the right track,’ said Romana, piecing together her thoughts word by word. She didn’t know how she knew, but she knew the girl was a real person. Had been a real person. ‘But it wasn’t a warning about something to come. It was something that has already happened. Does that make sense?’

‘Not really, but it’ll have to do.’ The Doctor paced back and forth. ‘Something very peculiar is going on. We arrive, and everyone thanks us for saving them from destruction. And then other people blame us for causing all the destruction. Thoughts, Romana?’

‘Well,’ said Romana. ‘At some point in our future lives, we return to the G-Lock, to a point earlier in time. We then get… involved’

‘As usual.’

‘Get accused of things we haven’t done.’

‘As usual.’

‘And then save everyone from certain death.’

‘As usual.’

‘We then leave, having sorted things out. And then that is where we came in. We’re experiencing the repercussions of things we haven’t done yet.’ Romana smiled, pleased with her succinct explanation. Even the Doctor couldn’t make it sound confusing now.

The Doctor frowned, as though he was trying to recall something. ‘As I thought. But what if, at some point in our future lives, we don’t return to the G-Lock?’

‘We have to, Doctor,’ Romana said. ‘We know that at some point in our future we do return here. That’s part of our past now, we can’t change it. It’s future perfect.’

The Doctor gathered up his coat and sat beside her. ‘Are you saying we have to return because if we don’t, we can’t have experienced the aftermath of what will happen when we return, which we have already done?’

Correction. The Doctor could make anything sound confusing. ‘Exactly,’ said Romana.

‘And, of course, you can’t change your own past. Second law of time travel,’ said the Doctor.

‘First law. But you’re right. If we don’t go back, we will have altered the whole web of time.’

‘And the consequences are too terrible to imagine,’ declared the Doctor bleakly.

Romana shuddered at the notion. ‘Exactly.’

‘What about free will?’ asked the Doctor, like a resentful child. ‘I mean, what if we come back, but fail to save the G-Lock? Hmm?’

‘We don’t have any choice,’ said Romana. ‘We have to succeed.’

‘Hornswoggled,’ muttered the Doctor. ‘“The order of the acts are planned, and the end of the way inescapable.”’

The Doctor and Romana sat in silence for some time. Eventually,
the
Doctor dipped into his coat and produced a packet of jelly babies. He offered them to K-9 and Romana, and selected one for himself.

He swallowed. ‘You know, ever since we arrived, I’ve had the oddest feeling.’

Romana nodded. ‘Yes. You mentioned something about the hairs on the back of your neck.’

‘Exactly. An uneasy sensation. As if I should recognise things, but was finding them unfamiliar.’ The Doctor crumpled up the bag and pocketed it. ‘I’ve just worked out what it is. Pre-jà
vu
.’

‘What?’

‘Pre-jà
vu
, mistress,’ chirped K-9 helpfully. ‘The sensation that one is going to have been somewhere before. The term applies exclusively to Time Lords, and was coined by Academi Plurix.’

‘Oh,’ sighed Romana. ‘Pre-jà
vu
.’

The Doctor reverted to silence, examining the backs of his hands. He started whistling, badly.

‘Doctor, what are we going to do?’ said Romana.

‘Do?’

‘About the collapsing hyperspace tunnel. We have to get everyone out of here.’

The Doctor stared back. ‘How long do we have, K-9?’

‘The conduit will lose hyperstatial viability in three hours forty-seven minutes and counting.’

‘Three hours forty-seven minutes.’ The Doctor closed his eyes, admitting defeat. ‘Unfortunately, Romana, we have the small difficulty of being locked up.’

‘Why not use the sonic screwdriver?’ Romana asked.

The Doctor shook his head. ‘No good. I tried, and the guard confiscated it.’

‘What about K-9? He could blast –’

‘No good either, I’m afraid.’

Romana thumped the door in irritation. ‘There must be something we can do!’

‘Well, normally, in this predicament I’d blow my dog whistle and
K-9
would come and rescue us,’ said the Doctor. ‘But this time K-9 didn’t remain in the TARDIS, so unfortunately we’re stuck.’

‘Apologies, master,’ said K-9.

‘It’s not your fault, K-9,’ said Romana, glaring at the Doctor. ‘It’s not as if you can be in two places at once.’

‘So this is it, then. The end,’ said the Doctor.

‘Two places…’ An idea occurred to Romana. She knelt in front of the Doctor. ‘Doctor, we know that at some point in the future we’re going to go back in time and revisit the G-Lock, right?’

‘We have to get out of here first.’

Romana shushed him. ‘But what if, when we go back in time, we also arrange for someone to come and rescue us from this cell?’

‘We can’t do that. That’s cheating.’

From outside the cell, there was a dull thud followed by the clatter of someone falling heavily to the floor. The door rose to reveal a young woman in her twenties with cropped, sandy hair and a milky complexion. She wore functional overalls and an enthusiastic expression.

Behind her, the guard lay unconscious on the floor.

‘Hello. I’ve come to rescue you.’ The woman grinned at Romana. ‘Not too late, am I?’

Romana was flabbergasted. ‘You’ve come to set us free?’

‘Yes. As instructed. For a minute there I didn’t think I’d get here in time, but…’ She popped her head through the cell doorway. Seeing the Doctor, her jaw dropped. ‘But hang on… You’re… you’re…’

The Doctor extended a hand. ‘Yes, I’m the Doctor. Marvellous to meet you.’

The woman shook her head in disbelief. ‘No, but you’re… you’re not…’

‘The Doctor? Yes, I am,’ said the Doctor, complete with toothy grin. ‘And this is one of my two best friends, K-9. Say hello, K-9.’ He indicated the computer. K-9 wheeled eagerly towards her.

‘Greetings,’ said K-9 brightly.

‘No! No!’ At the sight of K-9 the woman began hyperventilating, tripping over her own feet in her haste to leave. She screamed in
terror
, fainted and slipped inelegantly to the floor.

The Doctor shrugged, looked at K-9, looked at Romana, looked at the new arrival lying on the floor, and shrugged again.

‘Did the universe get out of the wrong side of bed this morning, or is it me?’ he asked.

The Doctor helped the woman to her feet, walked her out of the cell, and rested her on the guard’s chair. Romana fetched a glass of water, while the Doctor searched through the guard’s desk which was buried under copies of
Guards & Guarding
magazines. He spotted his sonic screwdriver and stowed it in the depths of his coat.

He wafted some smelling salts under the woman’s nose and she grimaced back to consciousness. She accepted the water and gulped it down. A minute later, she was ready to speak.

‘Sorry. Don’t know what happened,’ she began. ‘I think it was the surprise of seeing you again, Doctor.’

‘Oh, I often have that effect,’ said the Doctor. Romana coughed sarcastically, but he elected to ignore her. ‘Usually on monsters, though, it must be said. But don’t mention it.’

‘I didn’t realise, Romana didn’t tell me.’ The woman grasped the Doctor’s hands and rubbed them. Her eyes watered. ‘I’m so pleased to see you like this.’

‘Not at all, not at all.’ The Doctor felt more baffled than flattered. ‘What exactly didn’t Romana tell you?’

The woman was about to speak when Romana interrupted. ‘Doctor, shouldn’t we be moving away from here?’

‘Yes, of course,’ said the Doctor. ‘Escape first, ask questions later.’ He patted the woman on the shoulder. ‘Are you ready to move, um… I’m sorry, I’m hopeless with names.’

‘Evadne Baxter,’ said the woman, getting up.

‘Evadne, yes, Evadne,’ flustered the Doctor, pretending to have remembered her name. ‘Evadne Baxter, thank you for rescuing us.’

‘Can we please go now?’ said Romana impatiently. The guard was groaning back to life, rubbing the nape of his neck.

‘Right.’ The Doctor folded up his hat and tucked it in a pocket.
‘K-9
? K-9?’

K-9 whirred out of the cell. Immediately, Evadne inhaled and stepped back. ‘Keep that thing away from me,’ she said, near hysterical. ‘Keep it away!’

‘I am entirely non-hostile.’ K-9 sounded hurt. ‘You have nothing to fear. I am programmed to use my weaponry only in defence.’

‘It’s gonna kill me!’

‘K-9, stay away from Evadne,’ said the Doctor. It was hard to understand the woman’s reaction. K-9 did not normally inspire feelings of alarm. Hilarity, yes. Alarm, no. But Evadne had obviously been scared to within an inch of her life.

‘Affirmative,’ K-9 said glumly. ‘This unit will maintain a maximum peripheral distance.’

‘Right,’ said Romana. ‘Let’s go then.’

‘And then this fellow called Executive Metcalf decided to have us arrested,’ said the Doctor.

Evadne had led them back into the depths of the ship. After several devastated corridors, littered with the corpses of both guards and tourists, they found themselves in more familiar territory: the derelict shopping streets. Above the hiss of the wall-mounted loudspeakers, there was not a single sound. They hadn’t seen a living soul since leaving the prison.

‘Metcalf?’ laughed Evadne. ‘Well, I think we both know why that gasket wanted you out of the way, don’t we Romana?’

‘We do?’ Romana raised a quizzical eyebrow.

‘After what happened, him in his office. You really don’t remember?’

Romana shook her head. ‘No. As I said, as far as we’re concerned none of this has actually happened yet.’

‘I think I can guess about Metcalf,’ said the Doctor. ‘The man’s an incompetent. He’s just using us as scapegoats to save his own petty skin. Like any politician, he’s quite happy to accept the credit, but never to take the blame.’

‘Straight up,’ said Evadne, munching on a jelly baby. ‘He’s
supposed
to be in charge, but you won’t find him thanking us for saving the G-Lock.’