Dom of Ages (7 page)

What was it about Jarod that had me tossing out what training I’d received? God, I’d wanted someone so badly, that much was true, but it wasn’t just someone who would care for me. I needed there to be a partnership with my submissive. What I was doing with Jarod wasn’t any kind of power exchange at all. I’d never given him the opportunity to tell me what he wanted, not once. Ben was correct, I’d never even bothered to ask.

My heart beating once more at its normal rate, I sat quietly and came to a decision. I would fix this, starting tonight. Jarod had to know he was important to me, not as a housekeeper, but as a friend, a partner, and in time, maybe more. I smiled as I reflected on the irony of the situation. When Jarod had met Phillip, he’d been the younger man who’d needed the guidance of an older, more experienced Dom. Now Jarod was the one who had a few more years on me, but he still needed me to guide him, to push his limits, and to see what kind of a life he wanted.

I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Ben, thanking him for the talk. I bore him no animosity. He’d been kind—and brave—enough to pull off the blinders and allow me to see what I was doing, how I was hurting Jarod. Because I
was
hurting him. Well, that stopped as of now. My head was out of my arse, and there would be communication between Jarod and me. He’d suffered enough through my foolishness, and it was time he reaped the rewards of my experience.

If he ever forgave me.

When I walked through the front door and sniffed the air, I knew he’d prepared something for me to eat. The thought gave me a pang, but I pushed down hard on the feeling. I was going to put this right.

Jarod was in the kitchen, already laying out cutlery on the table.

“Jarod, whatever you’re about to dish up, would it spoil if we left it where it was for a moment longer?”

He straightened, his eyes wide. “No, Sir.” The words were almost a whisper.

“Then come into the lounge, please. I need to talk to you.” There had already been too much of a delay. If I was to undo the damage I’d already done, there was no time like the present. I went into the room and sat on the couch. Jarod followed me, hesitating when he reached the couch, his gaze darting between me and the floor. “Beside me is fine.” I patted the cushion, and he moved tentatively onto the couch.

He sat, perched on the edge of the seat cushions, his gaze lowered.

I launched into the speech I’d been rehearsing in my head, all the way home.

“Look, I made a mistake,” I began, “a big one, and I need to make amends. What I did that night at the club when I asked you to come home with me, I’d never done before. I’ve
never
invited someone into my home from the club. Even if I had, it wouldn’t have been after knowing them less than an hour.” I let out a sigh. “Do I regret bringing you home? I know I should. It would be something else, if this was simply going to be a one-off, but that isn’t what I wanted. And I don’t think it’s what you needed, or am I mistaken?”

Jarod

THIS WHOLE
conversation had my head spinning. Eli wasn’t sending me away. Eli was telling me he’d made a mistake, and now he was doing whatever he could to make it right. I hadn’t been upset about our arrangement, but the idea that it could possibly be more? Oh, if only it were true.

“I enjoy serving,” I blurted out, my pulse racing. “And… if you wanted someone else in your house, I would take care of you both.” Not that I liked the idea, not for a second, but if it made Eli feel easier about letting me stay, then I’d do it. But something inside me pushed me to lay my feelings bare. “If I’m being honest, though? I want someone who wants me, in all ways. Does that make sense?”

Eli nodded, then leaned forward and gave me a gentle kiss on the lips. It was quick and chaste, but it was also the first time in years I’d had the pleasure. It was over too quickly, and I had to stop myself from chasing his lips.

“Okay, then. I think it’s high time we did this thing right.” He smiled at me. “How about we start over? We could go to the club and talk. That way, we can get started like we should have that night. We can take a booth and chat for a while. Would you like that?”

My chest tingled. He was willing to take me out in public. To show others that I might be older, but I was a good submissive. And I would do everything in my power to show him that he’d made the right choice in giving me a chance.

“I’d like that very much, Sir.”

Eli beamed. “Then seeing as tomorrow is Friday, we’ll go then.”

Jarod

THE CLUB
was packed. Dozens of young subs lined up along the wall, obviously hoping to catch the gaze of the Doms who entered the club. There were so many people on the dance floor, it may well have been an orgy in the making with the sweat-glistened bodies mashed together.

I did my best to ignore the stares as Eli and I entered, and just like that I felt his hand on my back, as if to reassure me of his presence.

“Breathe.” The quiet instruction was meant for my ears only. I did as I was told, inhaling deeply and expelling my nerves in a silent push of air. “Good. Just like that.” His praise warmed me, and my stomach settled. I followed him to the bar where he ordered two glasses of club soda and then sat at a table. I stood, uncertain of what he would like me to do. His smile calmed my nerves a bit, and he gestured to the chair beside him.

“I wanted to thank you,” he began.

“Thank me? For what?”

He laced his fingers with mine, and I drew strength from his touch. “During this week you’ve given me so much of yourself, even if I didn’t deserve it.”

I started to speak, but he held up his other hand.

“Let me finish, please. I won’t defend my actions, because I know I was unfair to you and to myself. When we were here last, I saw you there, kneeling on the floor, and everything I’d ever wanted in my life was there. I grabbed it with both hands and didn’t want to let go. The next morning, finding you in my kitchen, having breakfast ready? That was my idea of heaven, because
my
needs were being met. I was lost in the moment, a perfect bubble that I didn’t want to pop.

“Then a friend of mine told me—twice—that I was being a right bastard to you, and not giving you anything in return. For that, I am truly sorry, and I thank you for giving me the opportunity to make things right between us.”

A sigh of relief slid from me. I’d been walking on eggshells for fear that Eli would realize he’d made a mistake and put me out, but that wasn’t the case at all. I reached into my pocket and felt the strip of leather he’d wrapped around my throat the first night. I wondered if he had any idea how many times a day I touched it, wishing I had earned the right to wear it. I slid it from my pocket and placed it on the table. Eli gave me a curious glance.

“I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed taking care of you. Since Master Phillip died, I’ve been alone, and it took me coming into your house to realize just how lonely I’d been. I would have done anything to stay and make you happy. Submissive, slave, or even just houseboy, I would have done it gladly, because I finally felt whole again.”

Eli picked the collar up and smiled at me. “I know we have a lot to discuss, but for tonight, here at the club, would you wear this for me? I want everyone to see that you’re mine, and I’m very proud of that fact.”

“Yes, Sir. I would be honored.”

He pointed at the floor, a wide grin playing on his face, and I hurried to kneel at Eli’s side, my head down. How I’d missed this position. When Eli touched my neck and slid the collar back where it belonged, I twitched slightly. He stroked my nape with gentle fingers, rubbing gently.

“You’re doing well, pet. I’m very proud to be here with you.”

My heart thumped hard. It had been too long since I’d heard those words. And then it registered: he’d called me
pet
. Warmth spread out from somewhere deep inside me, filling me, bringing with it a sense of peace. He understood that I wasn’t a boy, and it wouldn’t make sense for him to call me that, but he wanted to show me that he claimed me as his. Warmth infused me. I was Eli’s pet.

Yeah, I could
definitely
live with that.

“What’s going on here, then?” I heard a lilting voice ask. I tensed.

It was quiet for a moment before Eli replied. “I’m here with my pet. Is there a problem?” There was a new edge to his voice, one I hadn’t heard before.

The man laughed. “He’s pretty old to be a pet. Maybe you should put him down and get a new one.”

My belly rolled over, and my throat tightened. Eli increased the pressure of his hand on my neck. “That’s disrespectful. Would you say something like that to any other Dom?”

So the speaker was a submissive. Something coiled in the pit of my stomach, a feeling of uneasiness and fear.

“I’d be a better sub for you.” His words tasted of arrogance.

I felt the tears welling up. I should have known this was going to happen. Any happiness I’d felt at being Eli’s pet was chewed up and spat out as reality hit hard. That last week had been wonderful, but we couldn’t stay at home all the time. He’d want to go to the clubs. Eli might make the right noises and say it was fine, but I knew that eventually he’d see what everyone else saw. I was an embarrassment to Eli, and no matter where we went, this was going to happen again. And again. So why prolong the inevitable? I pushed up off the floor and turned to him. “I’m sorry, Sir. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

I spun around and fled the club, too mortified to see Eli’s face. The other sub was right. He deserved someone he could show off. It would never be me.

All I longed for right then was Master Phillip’s arms around me, that gentle voice in my ear.

Eli

I WATCHED
as Jarod fled the club, and my anger was almost a living thing. I stood and glared at the sub, who had the smarmiest smile on his face.

“You disrespectful little son of a bitch. How the hell you got into this club is beyond me. What you just did goes against everything our community values. I’d say you should be ashamed of yourself, but it’s obvious
that’s
not going to happen.”

As my voice rose, more people started watching. I should have felt bad about the situation, but there was no way I’d ever be bringing Jarod back here. When the bartender of the club came to the table to find out what was going on, I explained the situation to him. He stepped back and looked from the sub to me.

“You have to admit, this is a peculiar situation,” he began, almost hesitantly. “You can’t really blame people for being uncomfortable about it.”

I swear my jaw must have hit the floor. “You’re
condoning
what he said?”

He held his hands up in surrender. “No, not exactly. You have to know you’re going to get comments, that’s all I’m saying. You need to have your… boy prepared for it.”

I fished my membership card out of my wallet, tore it in half and dropped the pieces on the table. “Thank you for your club. It was truly a learning experience. I won’t be coming back.” I strode out of the club without a single backward glance, pulling my phone from my pocket as I did so. I found Jarod’s number and called. Nothing. I let it ring and ring, waiting desperately for the sound of his voice. Still nothing.

Then it hit me. I knew
nothing
about Jarod; where he lived, who his friends were…. It was not a pleasant realization.

Ben’s right.
What a bastard I am.

The thought of Ben made me pause. I had to talk to
someone
. I called him and waited. It was only then that it occurred to me why he wasn’t answering immediately. The likelihood was that he was working at Collars & Cuffs.

“’Lo?” The background was filled with the sound of loud chatter and soft jazz.

“Ben, you got a minute?”

“Hang on.” I heard a low muttered conversation and then everything grew quieter. “Okay, Kenton’s got the bar, but I’ll have to be quick. There’s a demonstration on and these nights are always hectic.”

“Ben, I’ve fucked up again.” The words burst out of me.

There was a brief pause. “Okay, what’s happened?”

Quickly I filled him in on the situation.

He groaned. “
Now
maybe you’ll listen when I tell you to come check out
my
club.” He snorted. “Like Leo or Thomas would let
anyone
—Dom or sub—get away with that. And that bartender should’ve known better too.” Ben let out a sigh. “Nothing you can do, mate, in the circumstances. You want my advice? Go home and wait for him to call. I’d come over, but it’s madness here.” He chuckled. “As you probably heard.”

“Thanks for the thought.”

“It’ll be okay, Eli.” His tone was reassuring. “But let me know when you hear from him, yeah?”

“Sure.” I hung up and walked toward my car, the keys already in my hand. My guts were in turmoil.
Where are you, Jarod?
Throughout the ten-minute drive home, all I could see was that tormented expression on his face, those eyes bright with tears that threatened to spill any second. If we’d had the opportunity to speak more, to build a relationship, Jarod would’ve known that his age didn’t matter to me.

But I hadn’t taken the time to get to know him. And didn’t
that
make me feel like shit?

If he calls, if he comes back, I’ll do things differently.

All I could do now was hope I had the opportunity.

Jarod

I SAT
in the folly that overlooked Heaton Park and listened to the birds chirping away to herald the dawn. I must have been sitting there on the wooden bench for hours. I was numb from the cold that was seeping into me, yet a thought warmed me internally.

It won’t be long now.

I had no idea exactly how long it would take. My mind focused on those strong arms that would soon encircle me, the broad chest where I would once again lay my head, those soft lips that would press against my temple. A glance at my wrists showed that the flow of blood had slowed down, and a momentary flare of panic pulsed through me. Had I cut deep enough? I looked around for my penknife but it must have fallen to the ground.