Don Quixote, Which Was a Dream (23 page)

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Authors: Kathy Acker

Tags: #Fiction, #General, #Literary

BOOK: Don Quixote, Which Was a Dream
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'Those of us who have anyone who can take us away, a friend or a relative, get out. For the rest of us, we live in our future deaths: our present deaths, for the walls're creaking from the rats of death. We talk about diseases only. Soon, my friend who is dead, Burn, something must spring.

'I was desperate to find some way how to live. These people here teach me nothing but isolation. I turn back to my book. To anything that teaches me about somewhere else, for there's nothing in this country but death.

'The book continued:

"The teacher Delbène: 'Love's nothing unless it involves trust.'

' "Juliette the student said nothing.

' "Delbène: 'I know that I promised you could take Laure's virginity away from her. Laure's gone. Do you still trust me? Is trust part of love?' ' "Juliette the student said nothing.

'"Delbène: 'Do you trust me to make things happen in this world?'

'"Juliette answered she trusted her teacher.

' "The teacher blindfolded the student so the student had to trust her.

'"Delbène, Volmar and Flavie who were also students, and Juliette walked through the fogs over the school's graveyard. They walked into the graveyard chapel. Delbène lifted up a tombstone under which was a hole. The woman and the girls descended through the hole down several narrow slippery steps. Though Juliette couldn't see, she wasn't scared because she trusted Delbène.

' "When Delbène, the last, lowered the tombstone, the stone, falling more quickly than she had expected, made a loud noise as it hit the rock floor.

'"Delbène said, 'Shit'. She and her students continued walking around and past the dead schoolgirls' coffins.

'"Delbène again lifted up a tombstone under which was a hole. The woman and the girls descended through the hole down several narrow slippery steps. Delbène, this time more slowly and gracefully, lowered the tombstone. She followed them down seventeen steps approximately.

' "They walked into a sparse but elegant room. The walls the ceiling and almost everything in the room were white. Hidden pipes kept the chamber well-ventilated. Delbène took the black blindfold off Juliette's head and said, 'What we do in this room is be happy. With our bodies. Our bodies teach us who've been poisoned.'

T turned my head and saw Laure, the person I wanted.

'In my dream, my teacher said to me: "All the accepted

forms of education in this country, rather than teaching the child to know who she is or to know, dictate to the child who she is. Thus obfuscate any act of knowledge. Since these educators train the mind rather than the body, we can start with the physical body, the place of shitting, eating, etc., to break through our opinions or false education.

' "First, we must act against our opinions; we must act exactly in those ways of which we don't approve. This, at this moment, is correct action. At this moment, we can't have any joy, because we don't know what joy is.

'"When we act thus, other human beings, who cling to their opinions, hate us."

'I, appalled, replied: "I'm not like this: I'm not horrible."

'"You have no idea what you're like."

'"I'm not like this: Horrible."

'"I'm not like this: Horrible."

'"I'm not like this: Horrible."

'Delbène said: "We must do what we consider crimes in order to break down our destructive education."

'"But
crimes
are evil because they're human acts by which humans hurt other humans."

'"But
crimes
are evil because they're human acts by which humans hurt other humans.'

'"But
crimes
are evil because they're human acts by which humans hurt other humans."

'"A good reply," answered my teacher, "according to the world."

'"A good reply," answered my teacher, "according to the world."

'"A good reply," answered my teacher, "according to the world."

'"Wrong," my teacher thundered, "for any answer that seems to be the correct answer denies this world whose nature is chance and relativity. There is no correct answer."

'"Wrong," my teacher thundered, "for any answer that seems to be the correct answer denies this world whose nature is chance and relativity. There is no correct answer."

'"Wrong," my teacher thundered, "for any answer that

seems to be the correct answer denies this world whose nature is chance and relativity. There is no correct answer."

'"Wrong," my teacher thundered, "for any answer that seems to be the correct answer denies this world whose nature is chance and relativity. There is no correct answer."

'"Then how do I know an answer? How can I make decisions?"

'"Then how do I know an answer? How can I make decisions?"

'"Then how do I know an answer? How can I make decisions?"

' "Then how do I know an answer? How can I make decisions?"

'"That," said my teacher, '"s what we're going to find out. It's not simply the case that we can't know anything. We do know."

' "That," said my teacher, '"s what we're going to find out. It's not simply the case that we can't know anything. We do know."

'"That," said my teacher, '"s what we're going to find out. It's not simply the case that we can't know anything. We do know."

'"That," said my teacher, '"s what we're going to find out. It's not simply the case that we can't know anything. We do know."

'"This is something new."

'"This is something new."

'"This is something new."

'"This is something new."

'Yes. This's something new.'

'What do we know?' the dog rhetorically asked the knight.

'How do I know what you know?' the knight replied. 'I'm not a dog.'

'You still don't know anything,' admonished the dog. 'All for you is worse than doubt, night. Hear my end.' said the dog, as she wagged her tail: 'Since the body is the first ground of knowledge, my teacher made me take off my clothes. A mouth touched and licked my ass. A finger stuck into my asshole. A dildo thrust into my asshole and a dildo thrust into

my cunt. Both dildoes squirted liquid into me which I saw was white. I was so over-the-top excited, I came. The main thing for me was my body's uncontrolled reactions.

'Since the body is the first ground of knowledge, my teacher made me take off my clothes. A mouth touched and licked my ass. A finger stuck into my asshole. A dildo thrust into my asshole and a dildo thrust into my cunt. Both dildoes squirted liquid into me which I saw was white. I was so over-the-top excited, I came. The main thing for me was my body's uncontrolled reactions.

'Since the body is the first ground of knowledge, my teacher made me take off my clothes. A mouth touched and licked my ass. A finger stuck into my asshole. A dildo thrust into my asshole and a dildo thrust into my cunt. Both dildoes squirted liquid into me which I saw was white. I was so over-the-top excited, I came. The main thing for me was my body's uncontrolled reactions.

'Since my body is the first ground of knowledge, my teacher made me take off my clothes. A mouth touched and licked my ass. A finger stuck into my asshole. A dildo thrust into my asshole and a dildo thrust into my cunt. Both dildoes squirted liquid into me which I saw was white. I was so over-the-top excited, I came. The main thing for me was my body's uncontrolled reactions.

'My teacher told me it wasn't enough for me to know that my body (me) reacted this way. I had to know more precisely all my complex reactions. Did I feel or react more strongly in my asshole or in my cunt?

'My teacher told me it wasn't enough for me to know that my body (me) reacted this way. I had to know more precisely all my complex reactions. Did I feel or react more strongly in my asshole or in my cunt?

'My teacher told me it wasn't enough for me to know that my body (me) reacted this way. I had to know more precisely all my complex reactions. Did I feel or react more strongly in my asshole or in my cunt?

'My teacher told me it wasn't enough for me to know that my body (me) reacted this way. I had to know more precisely

all my complex reactions. Did I feel or react more strongly in my asshole or in my cunt?

'"I can't tell you because I'm reacting so fiercely," I answered. "I can tell you that a combination of fear that isn't so intense it loses its pleasure and emotional need and physical delight in the combination that causes ungovernable exploding reactions in me."

'"I can't tell you because I'm reacting so fiercely," I answered. '"I can tell you that a combination of fear that isn't so intense it loses its pleasure and emotional need and physical delight is the combination that causes ungovernable exploding reactions in me."

'"I can't tell you because I'm reacting so fiercely." I answered. "I can tell you that a combination of fear that isn't so intense it loses its pleasure and emotional need and physical delight is the combination that causes ungovernable exploding reactions in me."

'"I can't tell you because I'm reacting so fiercely," I answered. "I can tell you that a combination of fear that isn't so intense it loses its pleasure and emotional need and physical delight is the combination that causes ungovernable exploding reactions in me."

'Volmar said, "That thought is barely the beginning of thought. You must perceive exactly what is. We will do it all over again so you can try to begin to perceive just what is.":

'Volmar said, "That thought is barely the beginning of thought. You must perceive exactly what is. We will do it all over again so you can try to begin to perceive just what is.":

'Volmar said, "That thought is barely the beginning of thought. You must perceive exactly what is. We will do it all over again so you can try to begin to perceive just what is.":

'Volmar said, "That thought is barely the beginning of thought. You must perceive exactly what is. We will do it all over again so you can try to begin to perceive just what is.":

'Delbène placed her cunt lips lightly on my mouth. I didn't like the taste of her cunt lips. But I had to keep tasting them. I learned about like and dislike. At the same time I flicked her nipple with my second right hand fingertip back and forth, right and left, black and white, here and disappeared, which

my second right hand fingertip liked to do. When I placed my tongue on the very tip, my clit by wiggling became the nipple. I liked doing this.

'Delbène placed her cunt lips lightly on my mouth. I didn't like the taste of her cunt lips. But I had to keep tasting them. I learned about like and dislike. At the same time I flicked her nipple with my second right hand fingertip back and forth, right and left, black and white, here and disappeared, which my second right hand fingertip liked to do. When I placed my tongue on the very tip, my clit by wiggling became the nipple. I liked doing this. 'Ashè.

'At the same time: Volmar who was a young girl pressed her body against all of mine that she could which was all except for the face. Then she slipped down below the body. She disappeared. Her head came back up between my legs. Similar to how Delbène had placed her cunt lips lightly on my own mouth, I placed my cunt lips lightly on this girl's mouth.

'At the same time: Volmar who was a young girl pressed her body against all of mine that she could which was all except for the face. Then she slipped down below the body. She disappeared. Her head came back up between my legs. Similar to how Delbène had placed her cunt lips lightly on my own mouth, I placed my cunt lips lightly on this girl's mouth.

'Laure was hotter than any of us. Laure's right hand rubbed Flavie's cunt and her left hand rubbed Volmar's cunt. Watching these sexual actions which I couldn't actually feel made me feel my own physical sensations less. My decreasing sexual abandonment let me feel a more general spreading or less focused sexual interest.

'Laure was hotter than any of us. Laure's right hand rubbed Flavie's cunt and her left hand rubbed Volmar's cunt. Watching these sexual actions which I couldn't actually feel made me feel my own physical sensations less. My decreasing sexual abandonment let me feel a more general spreading or less focused sexual interest.

'Delbène asked me, "Are you beginning to understand?"

'Delbène asked me, "Are you beginning to understand?"

'Volmar interrupted again by asking me: Did I feel or react more strongly in my asshole or in my cunt?

'Volmar interrupted again by asking me: Did I feel or react more strongly in my asshole or in my cunt?

'"I come harder when my ass is penetrated than when my cunt's penetrated, though my ass hurts more."

'"I come harder when my ass is penetrated than when my cunt's penetrated, though my ass hurts more."

' "Does this mean physical sensation's stronger for you when physical pain's involved?"

' "Does this mean physical sensation's stronger for you when physical pain's involved?"

'"I'm too young to know."

'"I'm too young to know."

'"Age has nothing to do with perception or knowledge. I'm not asking you what you've been taught or about your false self."

'"Age has nothing to do with perception or knowledge. I'm not asking you what you've been taught or about your false self."

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