Don’t Forget to Remember Me (35 page)

He bent to pick up my luggage and turned
back toward the house. When he got up the steps, he opened the door
and waited for me to precede him down the hall to the
apartment.

Aaron and Jenna probably watched the entire
scene from the window. “Would the two of you mind? Julia and I have
some things to work out, and we need to be alone for a while.
Aaron…can you get a room somewhere tonight? Please?” Ryan dropped
the bags unceremoniously on the floor and then moved to my
side.

“No problem, Ryan,” Aaron said quietly as he
left the room to gather his things.

They moved around the apartment, putting on
their shoes and jackets. Ryan’s gaze never wavered from mine.

My body was shaking but I wasn’t sure if it
was anticipation or fear. A palpable, tangible electricity filled
the air…he was finally going to give in. The minute the door closed
he took my hand to pull me roughly down the hall behind him to his
room. Once there, the door slammed behind us and Ryan yanked me to
him, but then his movements slowed notably. It was as if he were
arguing with himself inside his head once again.

His hand moved up to cup my head and pull my
face closer to his, the thumb brushing back and forth across my
cheekbone reverently. His sweet breath rushed over my skin and I
sucked it into my lungs like his essence was all I needed to
survive.

“Are you sure?” he said huskily,
breathlessly.

I nodded, using the motion to bring my open
mouth nearer to his, nose nuzzling the side of his face, my mouth
reaching, begging him to take it. I hovered on my tiptoes, reaching
up to ghost over his mouth, my tongue shot out to lick his upper
lip and he groaned, still resisting me. “You’re all I want…all that
exists for me, Ryan.”

I reached up and grabbed his chin, trying to
pull his mouth down to mine and his hands fisted in my hair and he
groaned. “I’ve been fighting this so fucking hard. I’ve wanted
nothing more than to touch you…to lose myself in you. To forget
that you don’t remember me.”

I closed my eyes and
waited, arching into him, my hands sliding up his chest and around
his neck to hold the back of his head in a firm grasp, wanting him
to feel how much I wanted him. He smelled so delicious and he felt
so good pressed tightly up against me, but the months of wanting
had taken their toll on both of us. His arms tightened and he
pulled me closer still, his erection pressing into my stomach and
immediately my body reacted. “It can happen just like that. If
you’ll let it, Ryan. We
need
this…
please,
” I whispered
against his mouth.

My body was reacting to
his nearness, his scent
;
the hard muscles of his body, so masculine
against my feminine softness. The throbbing was familiar and
instinctively I knew that only he could ease the torturous
ache.

“Oh, Julia…” he moaned,
the sound ripped from deep within his chest. “You win. I’m going to
pour all the love I have into you, do you understand? You want to
feel how much I love you? We’re
both
going to drown in it. God…I want you,” he whispered against
my lips just before his mouth devoured mine.

Oh, God.
My lips
remembered his, my body molded to every hard contour of his and it
was heaven as his mouth and tongue staked their claim on mine. My
mouth opened and my hands fisted in his hair to pull his mouth
closer, deepen into the kiss. He kissed me again and again, lifting
me off of the floor and moving to the bed. Heat rushed through my
lower body and a low ache began to pulse in the pit of my stomach.
I sucked his tongue into my mouth as our mouths moved perfectly
together, so hungry and passionate. My legs lifted and wrapped
around his waist and he groaned as he lowered me to the
bed.

Instantly, he was pressing into me, the bed
sinking beneath me as I arched up into him, the pressure of his
hardness against my softness driving me crazy with desire. “God,
Ryan. I love you,” I breathed as he broke the kiss to take a
breath. “I love you.”

“You are everything to me. My entire Goddamn
life! I’ve missed you so much.”

Ryan’s strong arms were
insistent and I clutched at the front of his shirt, pulling him
closer as my mouth opened under his.
Always
closer.

“Uh, Ryan. God, finally.”
The words sounded foreign, like they were coming out of someone
else’s mouth. My voice was deep and needy as his fingers wound in
my hair and our mouths were wild with each other. His hold
tightened and he lifted me further up on the bed with one arm.
“Finally…Babe,
don’t stop
,” I
whispered against his mouth. “You’ll break my heart if you
stop.”

His forehead rested on mine, his breathing
ragged as he sucked in his breath. When he spoke, the warm moisture
washed over my skin, my lips parted in anticipation. I couldn’t
resist reaching toward his mouth. He licked my top lip gently,
nudging it in between both of his.

“Julia…I’m not going to
stop. I…fucking
can’t
.” The hands
at both sides of my face laced through my hair possessively. “But…I
want to go slow…slow, honey.”

“Ugh…no. No…I’ve waited
for this forever, Ryan. God…
please
.” His mouth took mine
roughly, each opening to the other deeply. He groaned my name and
plunged his tongue against mine as together they began a slow,
sensual dance. Heat spread through me like fire licking along my
veins as the throbbing intensity grew. His mouth lifted and came
back for more, hotter and hungrier, like he was starving. He tasted
heavenly and I never wanted him to stop.

He suddenly stilled, his fingers moving
gently against my cheek and I slid my arms around his waist.
“Baby…this is like your first time again. Everything has to be
perfect.”

Inwardly, I rejoiced at
his tenderness yet
moaned in frustration.
He moved away slightly, but his hand slid down to mine and he
pulled me with him. “I don’t want to stop touching you,” he
explained as he dug in his desk drawer for a lighter and then
placed my hand along his waist when he needed both of his to light
the small candle he had on his nightstand and turned on the music.
I moved forward and wrapped my arms around his middle, pressing my
forehead into the strong muscles of his back. He turned in my arms,
enfolding me with his, as his mouth came immediately back to
mine.

The melody was soft, but I
focused on Ryan and the way my body was reacting. I was lost as he
kissed me over and over again, his hand moving to my breast,
closing around it and squeezing gently. My heart was racing.
Wetness pooled between my legs, my nipples strained against the
fabric of my bra and shirt, the sensitive flesh
aching…
beyond
aching. He’d only
kissed me, yet I was helpless and wanton. Now I knew what he meant
about physical pain. Only Ryan could ease this maddening quickening
and I longed to do the same for him.

His erection was full and
thick, straining against my hip, his pent-up frustration surging
within him; the tension as his muscles coiled beneath the smooth
skin of his shoulders as my hands pushed up the sleeves of his
scrubs. “Take this off,” I begged between kisses. “I want to see
you…to feel you against me.” I reached for the hem and pushed
it
higher. Ryan
stopped and watched with
passion-filled eyes. Beautiful and luminous, full of love and
longing…I reveled that this perfect, amazing man could want me so
much.

He raised his arms, pulling it over his head
and flinging it aside. I stared at him in awe, he was sculpted and
so beautiful to me. I felt his solid muscles working each time he’d
held me, and finally, I could look upon him undaunted.

He swallowed, as his eyes fell to my mouth.
His fingers began working on the buttons of my blouse, slowly
exposing the black lace and creamy flesh as his lips left a hot
path from my jaw down my neck to my collarbone.

“This is really going to
happen,” he breathed as he bent and ran a trail of hot,
open
-mouthed kisses to the curve of
my
shoulder.
His fingers were soft,
brushing over my skin and giving goose bumps as he pushed the
blouse down my arms. “Dear God, babe. You’re gorgeous. I missed
touching you like this.”

His fingers ghosted over the top swells of
my breasts visible above the delicate edge of my bra. I closed my
eyes and offered up my mouth, silently begging to end my torture,
and my hand reached out to find the waistband of his pants. They
were tied shut and I frantically worked the knot…he was still,
except for his mouth running along my cheekbone and then back
toward my mouth.

“I missed my mouth on yours, missed my hands
on your body…missed being deep inside you.” He was making love to
me with his words even though he was barely touching me, and my
body came alive. Every inch of skin burned for his touch, my lower
body hot and pulsing, breathing was shallow and rapid. His hands
tangled in my hair, gently tugging my face closer to his.

“Ryan, please.” I flattened my hand against
the large bulge in his pants…he groaned as my fingers closed around
his hardness and started slowly stroking. He was so engorged that
the head of his dick came out of his boxer briefs and to the top of
the waistband. My hand found the silky smooth skin and I gasped at
the bead of wetness I found there. My thumb moved the slick fluid
around.

“Oh God, I can’t take it, Julia. You have to
stop. It’s been so long…I don’t want to come too soon. This is for
you.”

I shook my head. “No. I never want to stop.
I want to see and feel how you want,” I said urgently as I began to
push his pants and underwear down his hips just slightly.

“Ugh…Julia you
can…
”
His arms enfolded me then, lifting
me until our mouths were on the same level and he turned me to lay
me on the bed. The deep kisses resumed and I wrapped my legs around
him, urging him on. I could feel him straining against me through
my jeans, thrusting into me.

“Can I?” My hands clawed at his shoulders
and my pelvis arched toward his, trying to assuage the ache,
seeking the pressure I needed.

“You know you can. Look at what you do to me
and we’ve barely even started. Just thinking about you gets me hard
as steel.” His voice was low and urgent, deep and rumbling…like hot
silk settling all around me. He nuzzled against the side of my face
and I clutched, pulling him closer but he moved out of my reach so
that he could undo my jeans, not yet pulling them off. His fingers
splayed out across the skin of my abdomen and moved up until both
hands cupped the side of my breasts, his thumbs slowly teasing the
taut peaks until I was writhing beneath him.

Eyes dark and passion glazed, he looked down
upon me. “God, you’re beautiful.” The words tore from his throat in
a low growl. “You leave me breathless. I’m…undone, Julia. There are
no words to tell you how much I’ve missed you…how much I fucking
love you.”

Tears welled in my eyes, both of us
mesmerized by the other as he stood over me and pulled my jeans
from my body and then stroked his hands gently down my legs and
then back up to start kneading the flesh of my thighs. “Then show
me,” I pleaded breathlessly.

Ryan stripped off the rest of his clothes
and came back to lie next to me on the bed, his muscled thigh
sliding between both of mine. I arched against him, gathering him
to me and seeking his mouth once again. He didn’t hesitate. His
kisses were urgent and hungry, his hands insistent as they roamed
my flesh. When the heat from my center made contact with his groin,
he closed his eyes and gasped. “Uhhh…God.” He hitched my leg up
over his hip, then clasped my thigh and pulled my softness tighter
against his steel hardness. I wound my fingers in his hair as he
settled into the cradle of my body, rocking his hips into mine,
creating that delicious friction we both craved. God, it felt so
perfect.

“You feel so good, I want
you, Ryan. Just
do it
.” I didn’t
care if I was begging. This was the man I loved more than life and
I wanted him more than anything. All that remained between us was
the thin lace of my panties and bra. My hands raked the hard planes
and smooth skin, gently kneading the solid muscles of his
back.

“Uhnnnggg…Julia.” My name ground out as he
moved against my slippery wetness, driving me wild with desire.
Ryan continued his onslaught, deeply kissing my mouth and then
further down, his tongue leaving a wet trail in its wake. The
coolness of the air, in contrast, left me shivering, but was
quickly lost in our urgency. I moved with him, silently praying the
panties to slip aside, so I would feel the heaven of Ryan pushing
inside me. His hand moved up to the top of my bra and pulled the
lace down, baring the swollen flesh.