Don’t Forget to Remember Me (36 page)

His hand wrapped around my
breast just as his mouth closed around the nipple, his tongue
circling and laving before sucking the sensitive flesh. I thought I
would die. “Ryan, please…
please
.
Now.”

“Please…
what
?” he said
against my flesh, taking his time and moving to give the other
breast equal attention. “What is it you want? Tell me and I’ll give
it to.” His voice was full of sex and I fell apart, my body aching
in anticipation. “Is it my mouth on you here?” he asked huskily as
his fingers slid beneath my panties, to the place I wanted him
most, touching the sensitive flesh. “My fingers…here?” He kissed me
deeply again as he slid two fingers inside. I cried out into his
mouth at the ecstasy of it as he raised his head to look into my
face.

“Uhhh, Julia. I want to rip this shit off
and bury myself inside you. I don’t want anything between us ever
again. I need to know you’re mine,” he breathed. “Just you and me.
Forever.”

“Yes. Yes…Ryan,” I panted into his mouth as,
finally, his fingers closed around the lace and ripped it away. I
could feel him pressing in slightly, arching up but his hand on my
hip stilled me.

“Look at me, my love.” He moved the bulbous
head of his cock up and down my folds, the pressure driving me
crazy. I felt my body opening, aching for him to fill me. “Julia.”
The head pushed inside and I gasped in pleasure. His hand moved to
my face, brushing back the hair at my temples and his hips surged
into mine, stretching and filling me until I thought I would rip
open. His eyes closed.

“You feel so good,” he
breathed against my mouth. He started to move slowly. “Julia,
uhhhh…uhhhh. I’ve missed you, babe,” he moaned before his mouth
closed over mine and soon our tongues and lips were imitating the
movements of our hips, surging and sucking, I clutched and tugged
at his hair as our movements became deeper.
With
long, slow strokes, he dug into me deeply and
still it wasn’t enough. We kissed and touched, moving together,
worshiping each other, every touch growing more passionate as time
stood still, our hearts and breathing getting faster with each
passing minute. It felt amazing, exciting…desperate, brand new, yet
familiar. My senses were on overdrive, I wanted him to feel every
inch of me as my hands kneaded into his back,
my
heels pushing into the back of his thighs urging
him on. I clenched around him in a rhythm of my own.

“Uh…that feels
unbelievable…you’re…so…incredible,” he panted against my mouth. I
sucked in his breath hungrily. I wanted every nuance of him inside
me. My heart was so full of him I thought it would burst.

“Ryan, my God.” My throat swelled and my
eyes burned even as my body began to tremble and quake around
his.

“Kiss me…I want your mouth. I want all of
you,” he moaned into me and took what he wanted. The more he
needed, the more I gave. He was the most delicious thing I’d ever
tasted, his mouth and tongue moving with mine in an intimate dance
that only added to the wonder of the experience. I felt my body
tighten more with each and every thrust. He was moving long and
hard against me, deeper and deeper. It was more than I could take,
yet somehow not enough. The velvet sounds coming from deep within
his chest as he became more and more aroused were so erotic…he was
so sensual and sexy, just beautiful in the way he worshiped my body
with his.

We were both gasping and I reluctantly
pulled my mouth from his to suck in a much needed breath. His hand
brushed my hair back and his nose moved up my cheek, his panting
breaths rushing over my skin in moist heat.

“That’s right baby, I can
feel you getting close. Julia, it’s so beautiful the way you
respond to me. . You’re
mine
…”

His mouth came back to
mine as he moved deeper and harder, building, building…I didn’t
want it to end, but he had me and I fell in an explosion of love
and lust, quaking violently around him, my heart breaking at the
strength of the love between us. “Uh, Uh…Ryan. I love you so much.”
He continued to thrust and I clenched and milked around him and
seconds later he stiffened and moaned into my mouth as he came,
both of us struggling to
breathe
.

Tears fell as I turned my face so that I
could kiss his temple, my arms and legs wrapping tighter around
him. After a minute, he rose up on his elbows and kissed me softly
on the lips. His eyes were glowing as he bent to kiss the tears
from my cheeks. “Don’t cry, my love. I never want to be apart from
you again. Do you feel how much I love you?” He nuzzled and kissed
me gently, his body still embedded within mine.

“That was incredible.” My voice cracked on
the words. “The love, Ryan. It hurts so much, but it’s so
beautiful. I’m…overwhelmed. You’re amazing.”

“No,
we’re
amazing. Every time, it’s like this. It’s a
miracle every time we touch,” he said softly. The emotion in his
voice threatened to overflow. I held him close to me, stroking his
hair and kissing his shoulder and neck. “If I died and went to
heaven, it couldn’t be better than this,” he whispered
brokenly.

I sobbed into him.

“Baby, don’t cry. I can’t bear to see your
tears. Sweetie, please don’t cry.” He continued to brush my hair
back over and over, nudging the side of my face and placing gentle
kisses. “Are you sad?”

I shook my head. My throat
was tight and my heart was pounding fast. “No. I’m just…sorry that
I can’t remember all those miracles. This must have been so hard on
you. I don’t ever want to see that pain in your eyes again. You’re
so wonderful. You deserve…
everything
. I want to give you
everything.”

He held me for a few moments until my tears
were reduced to deep breaths and soft kisses. He finally moved to
my side, withdrawing from my body. Instantly, I felt the loss. He
pulled me close, arms going around me as he rubbed little circles
on the skin of my back.

“I
have
everything,” he said seriously. “Right here in my
arms. You’re safe and you love me. That’s more than I have the
right to ask for.” His hand moved over my shoulder and up the side
of my neck, his thumb brushing against my jaw. “You’re all I’ll
ever want.”

Her deep green eyes were luminous, lashes
still wet with tears. She was beautiful and my heart stopped at the
intensity of the last two hours. The fighting, the pain, the
immeasurable ecstasy…the incredible love…all reiterated how much I
needed her. I couldn’t exist one minute without her. My brow
furrowed as I looked at her. Her fingers running along my jaw
stopped and moved to my mouth.

“Were you seriously going to leave?” I said
against her fingertips and her eyes lifted to mine. I ran my hand
across her bare back, needing to keep touching, her skin like silk
sliding against me.

She pulled in a deep breath as she looked up
at me. “Yes.”

I’d never considered that she’d really leave
me. It would have gutted me.

“It was killing me…” she paused, “I felt you
needed to be free of…all this.”

“If there is anything you should know for
sure, it should be that I could never live without you,” I said
softly, the truth of my words was like a living thing.

“Why?” Julia raised her eyes to mine again
and I met them without resolve; those beautiful eyes that held my
life within them.

“Julia, come on. You’re the absolute center
of my universe, whether I like it or not.” Her mouth opened, but no
words exited as her eyes widened. I brushed the contours of her
cheek and neck, over and over. “I’m in orbit around you, can’t you
see that? I can move around you, but never away,” I said softly as
my eyes seared into hers. “I’d be worried sick and miserable all of
the time.”

“You been so
miserable
now
. I’m sorry.” She
moved closer, her forehead resting in the curve of my neck and I
turned and pressed my mouth to her hair. The need to ease her pain
tore at my heart as I searched for the right words.

“I
was
miserable because you lost
a
ll
those
memories…the time we spent together
was
so
precious. You lost
us
. It makes me sad, a little.” I blinked at the stinging in my
eyes and cleared my throat as it tightened. I turned on my side and
nuzzled against the side of her face, kissing her temple with my
open mouth. “I’ll get over it, honey. You don’t need to worry. This
helps a lot.” I ran my hand down her arm and over her hip. “Did
making love help?” She nodded against my chin and I held my
breath.

“It evoked a lot of things, Ryan, but what I
remembered was the love…some physical pain.”

“Uh huh…that would have been our first time.
I’m sorry that’s the only part of it you remember. It was…the most
incredible night of my entire life. Knowing no one else had touched
you…it meant everything to me, Julia. I thought I loved you before,
but that…wrecked me.”

“This wasn’t so bad.” She smiled softly.

“Incredible, but it only
leaves me wanting more.” My finger touched the end of her nose and
a smile spread across my face. She was glowing
; so, so beautiful. Just stunning. My breath
hitched.

“Even now…no one else has touched me, Ryan.
I told you, I remember the love more than anything else. Even when
I couldn’t remember you, I was burning for you to touch me.”

“I know, Julia. I
can’t…express what I’m feeling.” I bent to kiss her, sucking her
lower lip between
mine. The kiss
deepened
and while soft and searching, it was hot, the saltiness of the
remnant tears on my lips and tongue.

“Isn’t that what has worried you? That I
wouldn’t feel the love behind the memories?”

“Yes.”
And the
loss of the baby
. My heart ached at the
thought, trying to hide the pain in my eyes.

“Do you believe that I love you now? Can’t
you feel it when I touch you?” she whispered against my mouth when
we broke the kiss, and I took her mouth again. Now that I’d
started, I couldn’t seem to stop. She needed to understand why I’d
fought it so long.

“Yes. In time we’ll have new memories and
the pain over it will fade. I’m glad that making love didn’t hurt
you, sweetheart.”

“It was perfect.” She drew
her index finger down my cheek and then to my lower lip. I bent and
sucked the tip of it into my mouth
;
our eyes locked. My body stirred anew and I
needed to prove to myself it was real.

“Ryan…can you please try
to see things differently, just for a second? I got two
first times
with you,” she murmured so
softy, I had to strain to hear her. “To fall in love with
you
twice
, and experience it all
over again with you, so please don’t be sad. I’m
happy
.”

“Julia.”

“Shh…I
am
. Tell me about us. We were best
friends before we became lovers, is that right?”

I nodded and rolled her over, so that I
could press into her, bending to kiss the curve of her neck. I
spoke against her luscious skin. “Yeah, but I always loved
you.”

“Why did we wait then?” she asked
breathlessly, one hand moving to tangle in my hair, the other
drifting delicately down my back.

I let out my breath as she surged beneath
me. If I moved just an inch or two, I could slide inside her again
and I wanted it. My dick swelled until the skin felt it would split
like a grape. “Hmmph. Because we were blind and stupid, I
guess.”

Julia stilled and stared up into my
face.

“But…why?” she asked quietly and brushed her
mouth on mine. I didn’t want to talk, I just wanted to feel, but
this was serious.

“Honey…I’m not sure how much I should tell
you,” I said hesitantly.

“Ugh!” she sighed in frustration and pushed
away from me to sit up slightly. “Look, Ryan. Do you know what this
is about?” she asked, exasperation lacing her voice.

This was not where I wanted this to go and
my mouth set. “I have a pretty good idea, yeah,” I said.

“So? Did it happen when we
were
friends
?”

“No.” I pulled her toward me again and
propped my head up on my bent arm, looking down at her. I got her
point. “Okay, I’ll tell you some of it.” I used my free hand to run
down her arm and then took hers. Julia searched my face; a slight
smile curved her pink lips up at the corners. “We were both afraid
of changing the nature of our relationship. We spent every day
together. If we got romantic and it didn’t work out…” I shook my
head. “Even though I wanted you and was so much in love, I couldn’t
risk it. We needed each other, and so we just…kept things the way
they were.”