Don't Break My Heart (Straight from the Heart #3) (6 page)

She would never admit it, but from the fake smile she would put on, saying goodbye to a girl each time they left the bus, it was obvious.

“Sure it is, Pauly. I know you pretty damn well and know you care about Lucy, but you’re too scared to commit to her so you hide behind all of these groupies that flock to you.” That sounded more accurate. I didn’t respond to her, taking another sip of my beer and kept my thoughts to myself as I headed back downstairs.

I grabbed my acoustic guitar from studio and took it out to the edge of the lake, where the fire was getting started. It wasn’t too chilly out, but right on the lake, the water had cooling effect. I wore a band T-shirt and a pair of jeans, plopping down onto a log used for a seat.

“So what are we going to play tonight?” I said to the group as everyone sat down in front of the fire. “I’ll be taking requests for a short while before I let someone else take a turn.”

“How about Zeppelin!” Damon started chanting ‘Zeppelin, Zeppelin’ like the drunk ass he was, then singing the intro to
Immigrant Song
. I almost fell backward laughing at how ridiculous he looked, but then we all chimed in, and I began to play the chords. After that, I played close to all of my classic favorite songs, Hendrix, Clapton, Deep Purple. That was the kind of music I’d listened to growing up, thanks to my grandparents, secret hippies all about peace and love.

We stopped playing and singing for a minute so we could make our s’mores, the crew sending me off to find sticks for everyone to use. By the time I retrieved them all, I heard a very faint sound of a car pulling back into the driveway. And considering how much property this cabin is on, I only knew it was a car because no one else lives around here for nearly a mile.

I carried the sticks back and Alex started telling Emily crazy stories about our last tour, which was with Everlasting, all except their drummer, Tyler Donahue.

“Yeah, you should have been there, Em. After Pauly started dancing with Lucy, another guy tried to weasel his way to her, and Pauly damn near punched this guy in the balls. This was after Charming snuck off with goody two shoes, Bryn.” Alex slapped his knee in amusement at the smug look on Damon’s face.

“Do we have to bring Bryn up at this time?” Damon whined, the smug look no longer there. “I fucked up big time with her, and now she’s on the road to marriage with fucking Pelton. Lucky bastard.” I knew that after what Bryn had seen in our dressing room in California, she avoided Damon like the plague, and it had killed him.

Deep down, we all knew that Damon wouldn’t change for a girl. It would take a miracle for him to stray away from his Damon ways. We were almost one and the same in that sense.

“Oh, stop it, you pussy; you’ll find another girl someday.” Mike threw a burnt marshmallow at him. “Just go to the bar downtown!”

“Hardy har har, very funny,” Damon replied.

“What’s so funny?” Lucy asked with a grin on her face, plopping down beside me. She had changed out of the outfit she was wearing earlier and now she was wearing a Sons of Anarchy hoodie and a pair of tight yoga pants.

“I didn’t expect you back so early Luce, what happened, did preppy boy burn your food?” I jokingly teased her, and she flipped me off.

“No Pauly, sorry to disappoint; I did what I planned to do. I went to his restaurant, and we had desert. He makes his own family recipe cheesecake, and it’s the most amazing thing on the planet, seriously.” She started gushing, and I looked toward the guys and pretended to gag. I had a dirty vision of licking cheesecake and syrup off Lucy after she mentioned that, so I tried to think of the one thing that would keep me from coming in my pants right there. What that was, I wasn’t sure yet.

“Well, tell Betty Crocker to come by and make us some food sometime, he’s more than welcome,” Damon said, and I could see Lucy holding back a laugh.

“You guys won’t stop will you?” She looked directly at me, and I wrapped an arm around her. She made her s’mores and didn’t say another word about Liam as we sang more songs around the fire. Damon took the guitar from me, and I kept my arm tightly wound around Lucy and her small frame, squeezing her side from time to time just to let her know I was there.

We finally put the fire out sometime after midnight, retreating to the house. I was dead tired. After working on music all day, I was ready for a restful sleep.

I decided to take a quick shower before going to bed, so I grabbed a pair of boxers and opened the bathroom door by my bedroom.

“Shit, Pauly, knock first!”

Lucy was standing in front of me wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around her. A towel that barely covered her, and if I stared any harder, I would see that wet pussy in between her legs. Her hair was still soaking wet as she reached for another towel to dry off her hair.

Look away Paul; look away.

“Stop staring at me like you want to fuck me, best friend, and shut the door on your way out.” Lucy stuck her tongue out and glared at me. I gave her a crooked smile. I wanted to do much, so much, more to her than that.

“Well, I need to use the shower, Luce. Why don’t you just change in front of me? Remember I’ve seen you naked before.” My eyes lingered over her body once again. Why she was so insecure about how she looked was beyond me. I always thought she was prettier than the rest of the girls that we went to school with. Before she dyed her hair with the colored streaks. Before she lost as much weight as she has. And certainly before she started wearing those tight ass corsets and short skirts that barely covered her ass on stage.

“Whatever Pauly. At least turnaround,” Lucy groaned, and I reluctantly agreed, turning around so I faced the open hallway. I heard Lucy move around behind me before she threw her towel at the back of my head, where it landed on top of my head.

I spun around, and she had a wicked smile on her face. It was pure evil in the best way possible. She changed into a pair of short as hell pajama shorts and a skinny- strapped tank top. It was obvious she wasn’t wearing a bra since I could see her nipples trying to poke through. They needed my undivided attention.

“Gross, tommy girl, now I’m all wet,” I joked, tossing the towel to the side. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, leaning against the bathroom counter. “I should get you back for that.”

“Have fun with that one,” she winked, patting my chest as she walked out. “Goodnight Pauly.”

Shit, could that man ever make up his mind?

I try to tease around with Pauly like we used to, and he just eyes me up like he wants to eat me up… literally. I didn’t know what was going on inside of his mind, but based on how he was acting lately, he doesn’t even know what the hell he is doing.

After our bathroom encounter, I retreated into my bedroom, where I had the idea for a song I wanted to show the guys when we went back to practicing in the morning.

You eye me up and down like you want something

Wel,l baby show me what you got

Teasing doesn’t do it for me

I want you, all of you

Right here and right now

Crap.

I crinkled up the piece of paper immediately after reading over the lyrics. Why all of a sudden was I having writers block? Or a case of ‘I can’t write worth a shit and my lyrics are dog shit.’ The pressure to put out the next great album was always in the back of my mind. When you have managers that are up your ass every single day, plus the record company, telling us when and how we need to make our album, it is just too much sometimes. I just want to play my music. I don’t give a shit about those people who only care about the money we make for them.

My phone chirped next to me, telling me I had a new text.

Liam:
Goodnight, Lucy. I’m glad I got to see you tonight.

A smile formed on my lips. I almost forgot about how I saw him just a few hours earlier. I got to see him in his own element doing what he loved. He was back in the kitchen when I got to the restaurant, and when the server told him someone was there to see him, Liam came straight out and gave me a huge hug and kiss on the cheek, which made everyone in the restaurant stop and stare at us.

“Sorry,” he whispered to me, gesturing toward a corner booth. “People are not used to seeing me bringing girls around here.”

I texted him back.

Me: Me, too. I was bragging to everyone how I got to eat the best cheesecake in town.

Liam: I’m flattered. Am I going to see you again?

Me: I hope so! We’re having a big 4
th
of July bash coming up, you’ll have to be my date.

Liam: I would love to. I really like you, Lucy.

Me: Really?

Liam: Yes. I’ll even send you a list of reasons why, but right now, I’m closing up shop.

Me: Haha okay. Goodnight, Liam.

In between practicing downstairs and in the pavilion, we were also planning our 4
th
of July party we held every year. We’d invite our families and friends to come out for a barbeque, then a huge bonfire by the lake, where the guys would light off a huge fireworks show. I was excited that my brother and sister were able to bring their kids and significant others this year, because in the past, something had always come up. My mom was working, but she said she’d make it up to me when we came home.

“Hey, try that
‘I don’t want to feel this way’
line again,” I told Mike, who was our other guitarist. “Try it in drop D and see how that sounds.”

Mike nodded, and we started the song we were working on again. I started out with a sick bass line, and he and Pauly followed in after me. Damon started screaming his vocal line, and we nailed our first run through perfectly… almost.

“Alex you screwed up in the chorus and made us a couple beats behind.” Pauly scolded Alex, who sat shirtless and sweaty behind his mastermind of a drum kit.

“It’s fucking practice, you dumbass,” Alex replied, throwing an empty water bottle at Pauly. “Plus it’s only our second run-through.”

“I thought we sounded pretty kick ass if you ask me,” Damon gloated. He wiped his blond hair out of his face as he wiped the sweat off his face with his shirt sleeve. “If we keep playing this, we could do
Want You
at the barbeque. A ‘Hey this is our first single, don’t tell anyone yet’, kind of thing.”

“Label would throw a fucking cow if they’re not the first to know about our music and the people coming are.” Mike replied, and we all agreed. But outside of shows and anything music related, the label stayed away from us, unless they were hounding us over the phone about one thing or another.

“So what? What will they do, drop us?” I said. “We’re they’re biggest band; they can’t.”

“Why don’t we just forget about the label right now and nail this song,” Alex suggested, and we were back at it.

That’s how the couple of days leading up to Fourth of July went: wake up, practice, lunch, practice, dinner, Liam, write, sleep. Yes, I did mention Liam. After dinner at the house, I’d go visit him while he was working, and one night he actually left with me to go to another bar down the street.

Of course, that ONE night, I get recognized as soon as I walk in the door. It didn’t bother Liam though, he held onto my hand tighter after some guy tried proposing to me. Liam kindly told the guy I was with him, which made me feel a lot safer. I wasn’t sure what was going on between us, maybe just a friendship, maybe something more. What would be once the band leaves at the end of July and heads back to the studio? I tried not to think about that, but when Liam took me back to my car that night, he full on kissed me square on the lips.

Nothing else happened that night except for that one kiss. Wow, could that guy kiss.

I didn’t dare tell anyone except Emily, otherwise I would never hear the end of it, and it would probably piss Pauly off so much he’d ignore me for the rest of the trip.

“So who do you think is the better kisser?” Emily asked me as we sat in her bedroom flipping through music magazines. “Liam or Pauly?”

“Why do you have to ask me that Em?” I groaned. “I don’t know, I mean, that kiss with Liam was so…”

“Safe?” She interjected.

I hated to admit it, but that was the truth. “Yeah, but Pauly, he’s the kind of guy that comes off aggressive and kisses with that same amount of passion.”

“And fucks like that.”

“Emily!” I shushed her so the guys wouldn’t overhear our conversation.

“Sorry, Luce, I had to say it,” she grinned. “I don’t know. When Liam stopped by while you guys were practicing, he seemed almost too… I can’t even explain it… he just seems like he would be a good friend, not boyfriend material.”

“But what about Pauly?” I asked her. “Sleeping with groupies all the time does not make him boyfriend material...”

“Just you wait,” Emily assured me. “It just takes one girl. One girl to steal his breath away. One girl to change how he thinks about himself, and the world around him. That one girl will cause him to stop his sleeping around ways and settle down.” She took a deep breath and continued. “I think that girl is you, Lucy. I know that you’re still trying to get to know Liam, and that’s cool, he’s a nice guy. But you’ve known Pauly forever. He needs someone like you who is in the same business as he is and knows everything about him. His flaws, what he like on his pizza, what he wears to sleep. Do you know any of that about Liam?”

I slumped back against the pillows and realized Emily was right. Again. I didn’t know that stuff about Liam. In due time I would, but I knew only what he told me the first night at the party; we’d had casual conversations about how each other’s days had gone when I saw him at the restaurant. I didn’t know what he liked on his pizza, his flaws, let alone what he slept in. Like that really mattered, but since I’ve known him for a little while now, I should have felt a small spark, or a hint of hope that he wanted to take things further than one kiss.

“I hate being caught in the middle,” I shouted into the pillow next to me.

“No one’s holding a gun to your head, Luce,” Emily giggled. “You already know what I think. Keep hanging out with Liam, but Pauly’s the one who should be in your bed, if you know what I mean.”

“EMILY!” I shrieked again. Lowering my voice to a whisper, I said, “Yes, I know what you mean.”

“Okay, then so it’s settled.” She rubbed her hands together. “Tell Liam you don’t think things will work out, but you can still be friends.”

“I never said I was doing that,” I reminded Emily. “I was going to see how he handled the 4
th
of July Barbeque first…”

“Excuses, excuses my friend.” Emily patted me on the shoulder. “But speaking of that, who else is coming that I’ve forgotten about?”

“Well, we invited Abel and his band, maybe Cale, Bryn…”

“And Tyler? All in one place?” Emily scrunched up her face. “Are you sure that’s a good idea after that whole situation?”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Em. I’ve been around both of them since then. Remember that shooting in Pontiac? Both our bands were playing at that festival. We were fine,” I told her, referring to Tyler and Cale.

“If you say so. Add your new ‘friend’ to the mix and this going to make one hell of a party.” She rubbed her hands together.

“That’s an understatement,” I snorted. I only hoped that things would go well with Liam being around my friends and family or else I was going to tell him I couldn’t see him anymore. We weren’t even dating, but with the way I saw him every day, people were starting to get that impression.

There was only one guy I was truly interested in dating, but there was no possibility of that. I mean, it’s pretty damn obvious Pauly was trying to make up for being such an ass that morning, but it’s hard for me to trust him.

“Why don’t we go out for a little girl’s day before we start setting up for the barbeque?” Emily suggested. “I’ll make reservations for that salon in town and we can get our nails done and everything. It’ll help take your mind off all of this guy drama.” That wasn’t such a bad idea. I ran a couple of colored strands of hair through my fingers, noticing how the color was starting to fade.

“What do you think about a dark pink?” I asked Emily as I held out a piece of my hair.

“It’d look hot on you, Luce. Pink to go with your natural color would look amazing,” she smiled. I had started getting colored streaks in my hair when I was nineteen while we were on break from tour. I liked them so much, I’ve been putting them in my hair ever since.

“What would look amazing?” Damon asked as he stood in the doorway wearing pajama pants and no shirt.

“None of your business, cousin. Now go to sleep, jack off, do something.” Emily tried shooing Damon away, but he crossed his arms over his chest and grinned even wider.

“Watch your mouth, Charming 2.0; I’ll call Aunt Jessie and tell her you're being a brat,” Damon pretended to whine. We started cracking up. “Seriously, was it anything I needed to know?”

“No, Damon, we’re talking about girl stuff. Now run along.” I got off the bed and pushed him out of the way so I could shut my bedroom door. “See you in the morning.”

I sat back down and we started laughing again. I heard him shout, “You’re no fun!” as he walked away from the door.

“Damon needs to get a girlfriend,” we both said in unison.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him settle down with someone… ever.” I said to Emily. “Besides this one girl he told us about before we met at music camp. And that feels like centuries ago.”

“We should make that our goal when we get back home,” Emily said to me. “Make it a ‘find Mrs. Charming’ operation.” I gave Emily a funny look, and she giggled. “It’s the only thing I could think of on the spot like that, sheesh.”

I high-fived Emily and said, “Sounds like a plan.”

***

The Fourth of July came quicker than I had imagined. I woke up to a text from both my siblings saying they leaving in about an hour, and they’d get to Alpena by mid-afternoon depending on traffic. I was so excited to see my nieces and nephews. They were getting older to where they’d enjoy watching the fireworks and would probably let Aunt Lucy take them for a dip in the lake if it was nice out.

I hadn’t heard from Liam yet and, quite honestly, I didn’t care. Emily and I went to the salon as we planned and had a fun time just us two, talking about the teaching job that she was offered for the year—high school advanced choir. By the time our appointment was over, I looked at myself in the mirror as the hairdresser finished drying my hair and was impressed with my new hair-do.

I decided to chop quite a few inches of my hair off, leaving the length just above my shoulders, and I told the girl who cut my hair to add the dark pink highlights into my hair, which looked great with my tanning skin. Having short hair was going to be something to get used to since I usually liked my hair longer and tied up, but I’d had a sudden change of heart.

“Damn, Luce, I wish I could pull off the short hair,” Emily groaned, studying herself in the mirror in front of us.

“Oh, please, you look hotter than me! Stop being so unsure of yourself,” I encouraged her, and we went up to pay. My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I saw I had a few new texts.

Bryn: Hey girl, we’re almost there. At least I think we are because Tyler has directions on his phone and Cale is driving.

I smiled to myself. Putting those boys in charge of driving and directions sounded like they’d get sidetracked to Mackinaw pretty quickly.