Don't Explain (13 page)

“So we are going to have the same conversations over we had that day,
too?” she said annoyed. On their last day in Tucson together, he asked her to
go with him to Sacramento. Not to live with him, but so that they would both
know someone in their new towns. He had known that she was going to say no
then, just as she was sure he knew she was going to say no now. “The idea was
sweet, really sweet, but I don't want to have that same conversation. I can't
do that.” Caitlyn looked down at her plate. She didn't want to snap at him, but
it was a ridiculous suggestion.

“No,” he said putting down his fork. “I want the conversation to be
different this time.”

“Michael, we hardly know each other anymore. When you asked me ten years
ago, we had been close friends for four years. You can't ask me to drop
everything after a less than a week's re-acquaintance and great sex. We are
just getting started again, and this time you don't just have a prospective
life there and me here. We have real responsibilities across the country from
one another.” She sighed and took a sip of the strawberry soda.

Michael's eyes bore into her. “Ask me.”

She looked back at him and began to get uncomfortable. She rocked a
little in her seat to see if she could ease the discomfort, but she couldn't. “Ask
you what?”

“Ask me to stay on less than a week's re-acquaintance and great sex.”

“Why would I do that?” she questioned, turning back to her food.

“Because I'll stay.”

Caitlyn looked up and stared at him in disbelief. “I don't understand.”

“Caitlyn, I want to be with you. I'm drawn to you. If that means that I
have to pick up and move across the country, I'll do it. I needed a change
anyway, right? Help me make that change.”

“We couldn’t just have a nice dinner for the last time.” Caitlyn got up
from the picnic table, “You’re out of your mind. You’re not going to move for a
rebound. So, stop saying it.”

“You’re not a rebound. I’ll move if that's what I have to do to be with
you.” He was unflinching and obviously completely serious.

Tears began welling in the bottom of her eyes lids. “You make everything
so difficult.”

Caitlyn threw her napkin on the table, swung her legs over the bench, and
pounded back to her car. Michael stood up and called after her, but she ignored
him. This ended exactly how she expected it to.

#

Michael sat back down and took a bite of one of the sandwiches he had
brought. He really blew it. He was too eager and scared her off. He guessed
that she wouldn’t go with him to Sacramento, but he didn’t think that she would
run off when he offered to stay. He’d expected her to throw her arms around his
neck and kiss him.

Instead he was eating a chicken salad sandwich alone. He threw the
sandwich down on the table.

He’d already briefly checked out the area for houses and job prospects.
Why the hell not? he had thought. There was nothing actually holding him in
California. His family was scattered about the country anyway.

He was staying, and when she saw that, she’d come around. At least he
hoped.

Michael pulled his phone out of his pocket, and then waited for someone
to pick up on the other end, but he got a voicemail message instead.

“Hi, you’ve reached Rob Breyer…” Michael wished Rob would answer his
phone more regularly. If he did that, he’d stop leaving these types of message.

Beep. “Hey, Rob. It’s Michael. Turns out that I am not going to be able
to make it into work on Thursday. I’ve decided to move to Massachusetts, so I’m
not going to be able to work in the ER at all. I’ll fax over my resignation
later this afternoon.

“If you have any questions, call me. My voicemail will be more than happy
to field your call.” Michael hung up the phone.

A cold, light rain began to fall, and he looked at all the stuff he
brought. He didn’t want it. Beyond that he didn’t have room for it in the
shabby motel room where he was doomed to spend another night. In the morning,
he’d have to find something suitable for long term living. He grabbed all the
food in a couple armfuls and dumped it in a nearby dumpster. He saved nothing.

He slid into the Jag and ran his fingers through his moist hair before
driving back to the motel.

When he arrived, Caitlyn stepped out of her car and into the pouring
rain. She turned around and watched Michael pulled into a parking space next to
her. Her clothes became wet and clung tight against her body

Quickly, he jumped out of the car and ran over to the shivering figure. “What
the hell are you doing here?” He didn’t mean it like he said it, but he was
surprised to see her there standing in the cold rain. “Get inside.”

He opened the door and guided her in with a firm hand, closing the door
behind them. “Let me get you a towel.” Michael walked across the room and into
the bathroom, grabbing a thin, white towel off the rack above the toilet.

He rushed back over to Caitlyn who was shaking and began toweling her
off. She lifted her arms, grabbed his face, and kissed him hard. “I want you,”
she whispered through a cold, wet kiss. He could feel the hard peaks against
his body that had puckered under her thin blouse and bra as she pulled herself
tighter against him. “Michael, I need you to make love to me. I might burst if
you don't.” She ran her fingers over the length of his hard bulge. “Don’t make
me wait.” She reached down and pulled his tucked polo shirt out of his pants.

Michael grabbed her sweater and peeled it off of her arms and back,
tossing it to one side. His hands moved to the buttons of her blouse and began
releasing them one by one while meeting her hungry kisses that roamed from his
mouth to his neck. He became impatient when she slipped her hand in the front
of his jeans and started rubbing him fervently with one hand while unbuttoning
his jeans with the other. Michael popped off his shoes and tore the wet shirt
from her body. He quickly released her breasts from her bra and removed his
shirt while she took off her jeans and panties.

A soft thunder rumbled outside, and a violent shiver ran through her
body. “Hold me tightly, Michael.”

Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her cold, naked body close to his
as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Kneeling over him, Caitlyn lowered her
mouth onto his again giving him a slow, passionate kiss. She revealed
everything to him in that kiss. All of her vulnerabilities were laid out for
him, and he kissed her back just as passionately and openly.

Caitlyn pulled her hips up and toward him and slowly took all of him
inside of her.

Michael moaned as every cell in his body was awoken by her movement. Her
arms gripped his body against her, stealing his warmth, as she glided up and down.
He held her tightly back and felt the softness of her breasts move slightly
against his chest. He sucked on the curve of her neck and along her collar
bone.

Michael slipped a hand between them and traced a line down her stomach to
her clitoris and gently began circling over it with his finger tip. She moaned
over and over. Her breath became slow and deep, and he knew that she was
getting closer to the peak. As she tightened around him, he throbbed inside of
her. He grabbed her head and pulled it toward his, and they kissed fervently as
waves of pleasure coursed through their bodies.

Michael pulled the comforter and sheets down, laid Caitlyn on the bed,
crawled in next to her, and wrapped her in covers and his body. The sound of
raindrops on the window soothed their overwhelmed senses. Caitlyn began
laughing.

Michael smiled at her. “Why do you laugh after sex?” he mused aloud.

She caught herself and managed to reply, “I can't help it. When I orgasm,
it every nerve in my body becomes sensitive. Every touch tickles, so I laugh.”
She ran her fingers over his hard stomach.

“I love it.”

Caitlyn sighed at the words, closed her eyes and smiled.

“So is this your way of giving me permission to stay?”

She answered with an affirmative hum.

“That’s good because I already quit my job. You were going to be stuck
with me whether you liked it or not.” He kissed her forehead, and she laughed.

“Really? You were going to stay anyway.”

“The way I see it, everything I want is right here.”

Caitlyn smiled at him and closed her eyes.

For the next few minutes they just held each other and listened to the
rain fall around them before falling asleep.

#

Every day that week Caitlyn and Michael had amazing sex. She was positive
that she had never climaxed so many times in so few days. Caitlyn would return
home from work to a waiting Michael, and he would ravage her in the kitchen, on
the floor, and even occasionally in the bed.

When they weren’t in the bedroom they would hike, read novels aloud to
one another, eat dinner in front of the TV while watching sitcom re-runs, or
scour the internet for house listings. Michael was planning on going back to
Sacramento on Monday afternoon to get his essentials, have a moving company
pack up the rest of his stuff, and pay the termination fee on his lease. He
wanted to view as many houses as possible before that point.

When Michael picked her up Thursday morning to go see Joe Summers, the best
real estate agent in town, she was a bit nervous. The gravity of the situation
was looming over her, but once she sat in the seat of the Jag, his warm smile
immediately set her at ease. She was positive that they were doing the right
thing.

They toured about five houses that day and a total of twenty-five over
the next four days. Some were historic; others were modern. Some could be fixed
up; others were hell holes. Some were within town limits; others were fifteen
miles outside of town. By 6:30 that night they were both exhausted.

When they returned to Caitlyn’s cottage Sunday night, she ran a hot bath
for them to soak in. One of her requirements when she bought her house was a
huge bathtub that would cover her all the way up to her neck, and she got just
that. She’d survive with a small shower, but a standard bath tub was
unacceptable.

The water steamed around them as they sat relaxing from the stressful
day. Michael was staring intently at the ceiling, deep in thought. They
remained in a comfortable silence for several minutes before Michael broke it
and said, “I think you should choose.”

“What do you mean?” Caitlyn was confused by the statement. “I thought we
were having Chinese.” She lifted her head up from the towel she was using as a
pillow so that she could look at him.

“Not dinner. I want you to choose which house I am going to buy.”

Caitlyn pulled herself up so that she was sitting up straight and looked
across the tub at him in with a serious expression. “But it's the place where
you
are going to live. I don't think you should give such an important decision to
me.”

“You'll probably be there as much as I will. It's going to be time
consuming to set up a practice, at least at first, so I want you to be
comfortable there, maybe decorate it for me. You obviously have better ideas
than I do for such things.” Calm and serious, he pulled Caitlyn through the
water and into his arms. She was without words as she racked her brain for the meaning
behind his request and reasoning, but her mind was such a whirlwind that she
could not focus on one thing long enough to consider it properly.

He interrupted her thoughts with another request, “No pressure, but I'd
like to have an answer sooner rather than later, so I can have Joe start the
process before I leave tomorrow.”

Instinctively she answered, “The one on Prince. It's the best. Good size,
great lot, secluded but close to everything. Buy the one on Prince.” Caitlyn
turned and laid her back on his chest.

Michael immediately grabbed his cell phone from his the side of the tub,
browsed his contacts, and choose a number. “Hey, Joe.” His voice echoed through
the bathroom. “It's Michael Fitzgerald…Good, thanks. We've made a decision… No,
I don't need more time. I want you to start drawing up the papers immediately…The
one on Prince…Well, make them the offer we talked about… Okay. Give me a call
when you hear something. Thanks, Joe. Bye.” He turned to Caitlyn, “I feel
better already.” He closed his eyes and pulled her a little bit tighter against
him. She was tingling with excitement as her slick body rested on his.

“Are you too tired?”

An ache for him coursed through her body, “Never.”

#

On Monday afternoon Caitlyn drove to the airport with Michael. Alexis
followed in her Porsche so that she could drive Caitlyn back home. Caitlyn
began to get tearful at the security check point. “What if you get back and
realize that you don't want to leave after all? What if you remember you love
it there?”

Michael held her chin in his hand, “It's not going to happen, love. Even
if I still love it, I don't want to be there if you’re here.” Then he pulled
her close and kissed her. “Just give me three days to get the movers in my house
and get packed. I'll be back. I promise.” Caitlyn let out a sigh of relief. She
realized that all she wanted was to be comforted by him, reassured that she was
the one that he wanted. She was vaguely upset with herself for being so
dependent on him that she had turned into a nervous, insecure wreck, but after
the first week of a very rocky relationship, she had to confirm that he was
coming back.