Don't Explain (10 page)

As she drove to her shop, she couldn’t help but begin making plans for
the next few weeks. It seemed like he would be staying for a while since he was
so eager to make her fantasies a reality. She decided that she was going to let
this happen because he wanted it to.

Halloween was quickly approaching, and it would be a great time to introduce
him to all of the people around town. He could handle her mother, and in a few
more visits she might really warm up to him. At that point, she might stop
being what she considered overtly rude. Caitlyn figured he should check out of
the motel that morning. There was really no reason for him to pay to keep his
stuff there if he was going to be at her house all the time.

She smiled the whole way to work and through her entire morning routine.
She even decided to treat herself to a raspberry mocha with whipped cream. This
is going to be a great day, she thought. Hell, it's going to be a great month.

Suddenly she heard a quick rapping on the front door that slightly
jingled the bells. Caitlyn jumped back and took in a deep breath answering the
knock.

Before she could figure out who was at the door the slim body barged past
her yelling. “Are you kidding me? I waited up all night for your phone call and
nothing.”

Caitlyn smiled at the perfectly put together Alexis. It was fascinating
to see someone so polished on the outside throw a fit over something that wasn't
really her business.

“I figured you were busy.”

“You didn’t say goodbye. You just left me there, and then you didn’t call
to tell me what happened. What the hell?” Alexis finished her rant with, “I
thought you were my best friend,” and a pathetic look on her face like a puppy
caught in the rain.

Caitlyn, however, was sensible of Alexis’s attempt to manipulate her into
feeling bad and avoided the entrapment. “Of course you’re my best friend,” she
replied with a smile on her face. “I was busy. That's all. Couldn't be bothered
to pick up the phone.”

A grin crept across Alexis's face, “How busy?”

“As busy as I figured you were.” Caitlyn regretted for a moment having
the nosiest person she had ever met as a best friend. She thought that she had
wanted to keep everything a secret, and if this was the case, Alexis was not
the person to confide in, but her excitement caused her almost immediately to
pour out all the details of her weekend. So they sat down and Caitlyn told all,
not with explicit detail, but with enough that she would not have to answer too
many questions.

 Alexis stared at her friend in excited awe. “It’s probably not
appropriate, but I am going to do it anyway. I’m proud of you for getting laid.
It’s going to reduce your stress significantly.” While Caitlyn had gone out
with a few men since meeting Alexis, she had not taken any of them home, and it
had probably been five years since Caitlyn had sex.

“Thanks. I guess.”

“What’s next?”

While Caitlyn had spent the bulk of the morning dreaming up very
appealing futures, the question threw her off guard.

“I’m not really sure. He’s going to stay with me for a while. I’ll
probably show him around, take him to the pumpkin festival. Stuff like that.”

“Halloween is three weeks away.” Alexis looked at her hesitantly, “Doesn’t
he live in California?”

“Yeah. It’ll get all sorted out. Right?” Caitlyn smiled at her friend in
a way that begged her to say that it would be okay. So, Alexis smiled back at
her and let her have the moment.

Caitlyn laughed, covering her mouth with her hand, when she saw Michael
drag himself up to the counter of the coffee shop the next morning. Michael
shuffled in around nine thirty. His wet hair was matted against his forehead.
His eyes drooped.

“I don’t think that you have quite figured out the time zone thing yet.”
She paused for a moment and gave him a bright smile. “You should have stayed in
bed.”

“Less abuse, more coffee,” he replied, suppressing a yawn. Caitlyn
continued to laugh as she poured. A drop of the brown liquid jumped out of the
mug and splashed on the counter. She slowly slid the coffee cup in front of
Michael as she grabbed a moist towel from a bucket to wipe up her small mess.
Michael contemplated making a comment about how it served her right for
laughing at him, but he was too tired to be quick-witted this morning, and let
it slide. Instead, “Do you have any bacon back there?” came out.

Caitlyn shook her head. “Will a poppy seed muffin do?”

“Not by any stretch of the imagination, but I'll have it anyway,” he stopped
for a moment to glance her over and smiled. He didn’t know how she could
possibly have any energy this morning. He worked very hard to make sure she
didn’t. At least she still wore an afterglow, one that he didn’t want to fade
until after he boarded the airplane.

“Hey, what time do you get out of here?” He wanted to get her back in bed
soon. While he was tired from the previous evening, he was ready to continue
where they left off: her arms and legs entwined with his.

Her shoulders rose steadily to her ears and then quickly dropped as she
moved over to the pastry display case.

“Depends. It's usually about two, but it can run later depending on how
motivated I am to get out of here.”

She carefully placed the muffin in the middle of the paper doily that sat
on the small plate in her hand. She turned it a few times and put the bulk of
her energy in positioning it perfectly. When it was up to her standards, she
held it out for him.

“Am I motivation enough?” he asked in a jesting but serious tone as he
took the plate from her.

Caitlyn ran her bottom lip across her top teeth. He was. But she jested
back, “Not looking like that.”

His attempt to get her to hurry and leave work early was wasted because
she was already planning to get out of there as soon as possible. She too had hopes
of resuming the previous night’s exploits.

“You're really funny this morning,” he said sarcastically. “I'm going to
take my coffee and muffin and leave.” She stared at him for a few moments
waiting for him to turn and walk out, but he stood there unflinching. “You
should come and sit with me.” She laughed again and started to untie her apron
and walk around the counter. The apron dropped on a hook, and as she moved
toward the table he had chosen she felt a small hand grab her by the arm.

“Do you know what you're doing?” Alexis whispered, glaring at Michael.

“What am I doing?” Her joking mood did not cease.

“You need to be careful. I'm really glad you got laid, but you really
need to protect yourself.”

“It's a little late for that warning.” She smiled and shook off her
friend's tight hold on her arm.

“Caitlyn, I don't think you realize what you are doing. You’re falling
for him. You’re only going to get hurt.”

Alexis knew exactly how to piss her off. Caitlyn’s voice became stern. “What
the hell is your problem? I know exactly what I am doing. Just because you
would rather put more notches on your bedpost than have a relationship with a
man doesn’t mean that I want that. Let me have this.”

Alexis crossed her arms and spoke quietly. “I just don't…”

“Want me to be happy?” she interrupted.

Alexis stared into Caitlyn’s eyes. “You need to listen to me.”

“I think you should leave. I don't want to deal with your flam-flaming
right now.” Caitlyn crossed her arms across her chest to show that she was serious
and ultimately creating a barrier between the two.

Alexis rolled her eyes, “Whatever.” She grabbed her purse and coffee and
left.

Caitlyn took her place next to Michael at a small table in the corner by
the windows. Her body grazed against him as she walked past. The feeling of his
body reminded her of the rough and gentle touches of the night before and the
night before that. For a moment, she considered locking the door behind Alexis
and starting her afternoon before ten o'clock; instead, she let out a slow,
deep breath to calm her senses.

Caitlyn kept one eye on the door as she watched Michael hungrily eat his
breakfast. He paused for a moment, “Why’d Alexis leave?”

“She’s not playing nice right now. Once she’s acting like less of a grouse,
she can hang out with us again.”

Michael was a bit dumbfounded by the brashness of the comment—the girl
who never picked a fight. For several moments they were silent.

Caitlyn carefully studied the man before her. He seemed different to her.
Different from college and different from yesterday. He was fidgeting, and he
wouldn't look her in the eyes as he so purposefully did the night before.
Generally, Michael was laid back, but in this moment he was distracted by
something, and Caitlyn felt a flutter in her gut.

“What’s your plan?” Michael finally broke the silence.

Caitlyn didn’t know how to answer the question for Alexis, how was she
supposed to answer it for Michael. “I don’t know.” Her chest got tight, and she
held her breath, waiting for him to tell her what was next.

“Well you have to do something to get butts in the seats of this place.”

Caitlyn let out the breath. He was talking about her plans for Fine and
Mellow. “I figured that if I made coffee and muffins they would come.”

“Apparently that’s not the case. How much time do you have left?”

“About a month. I can survive that long with business like that.”

Michael sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Have you considered a promotion
or a coupon or something?”

“Not really. I can’t afford to give away free stuff.”

“You didn’t make me pay for my coffee and muffin.”

“You’re different. Friends and family don’t count.”

“Say you did a buy-one-get-one free promotion. At least you’d be getting
half the cost, and probably several new customers.”

Caitlyn laughed. “While the people of Maple Field do enjoy a freebie, I
can’t afford a long shot.”

Michael sipped his coffee. “This is good stuff. If people had a taste, I
think they would be addicted, but you got to get them in here first. Think
about it.”

“Fine.” It wasn’t going to happen. Coffee wasn’t cheap and giving it out
for free wasn’t going to get her out of debt.

“So…” Michael hung on the first word, stalling what was to come next. “I
want to be upfront with you.”

He paused.

“I need to think about going home.”

Caitlyn was silent for a moment, her head dropped and her body slumped
over a bit. Her only reply was a barely audible “oh.”

“I kind of left the hospital without much notice. I talked to my boss
last night, and he wants me back to work by Thursday, which means that we would
have a couple of days to be together. It’s more time than I thought he would
give me, and I want to spend as much time with you as possible.”

Michael lowered his head to try and catch Caitlyn’s gaze with his own,
but she knew she couldn't look up at Michael because she knew she would cry.
The time she imagined earlier this morning was suddenly stripped from her, and
she began to realize that she was right the first time: this was all a mistake.
She was a vacation fling, a rebound, a fill.

She thought he wanted to fulfill all of her fantasies, but now she
realized that he was just talking about the sex. She felt like a cheap lay. She
should have realized he was going to leave again soon. It was obvious; he lived
in California. Alexis tried to warn her. She tried to warn herself, but she was
too overwhelmed by him. She’d let go too soon. An empty feeling accompanied
this realization.

The bell on the door rang, but its beckoning went unnoticed.

“You have a customer,” he said quietly, trying not to startle her out of
deep thought.

Looking up, she mumbled non-words and stood. Tugging at the bottom of her
shirt to straighten it out, she moved toward the counter. Michael grabbed for
her hand, but she shook it away. She sniffled back the tears that were trying
to rise from her throat, and put a superficial smile on her face. Caitlyn began
making the macchiato that the woman in front of her ordered, and as she waited
for the espresso to brew she leaned forward against the giant metal machine and
wandered off into her own thoughts.

You idiot. Why would he stay here after a dinner, a hike, shopping, and
some sex? It didn't feel like just some sex. It felt intimate, comfortable,
perfect. It felt like they had been doing it for years and would be doing it
for years. It made her world stop. It made her irrational. It made her want him
to stay forever. But why would he stay for her? She had nothing to offer him that
was worth changing his life.

Soon the smell of burnt hair awoke her from the daydream, and the hot
pain pounded through her arm. The only reaction she had was the same faint “oh”
she had when Michael told her he was leaving. She pulled her arm off the metal
slowly.

When she warmed the milk with the steamer, foam began forming at the top
of the tin without her noticing, and some bubbled over the edge and ran down
her arm. She mixed the liquids and carefully sculpted the froth on top. The
woman paid with exact change, and Caitlyn stood there with the money in her
hand for a long minute, wishing the woman would come back for something else or
another person would come in and try to distract her for a little longer. No
one did, and she was left unable to hold back her emotions any longer. It felt
like her chest had split into two and hurt too bad to ignore any longer. Tears
crept down her face. She pulled in her breath to try and stop them, wiped her
face with the back of her hand, but it was no use. They kept falling from her
eyes.