Don't Look Back (25 page)

His grip only became tighter. “I can’t let you go. Don’t you see? I
need
you.”

“Trevor, stop it,” I said in my most commanding voice.

Our conversation woke Natalie and she started crying.

“See what you’ve done?” he said. “You’ve woken my baby.”

The way he said it made alarm bells ring in my head. “Let me have her.”

“It’s all about you, isn’t it, Lily? It’s always all about you. Well, I’m tired of always having to go along with what you want. Now it’s time for me to have things my way.”

He still had his right arm wrapped tightly around me and Natalie held in his left. I knew I could get free if I used the self-defense moves I’d practiced, but there was a risk he would drop Natalie and I didn’t want to take that chance.

“What do you mean? What is it you want?”

“Well, Lily. My first choice is to have you as my wife. But since you keep being so stubborn about that, I’ll have to go with my second option.”

I could only guess what he had in mind. My heart pounded as I imagined what he meant and I felt my heart rate increase. As blood pounded through my ears my vision began to narrow and my ears began to ring. I remembered learning in my self-defense class that if my heart rate kept increasing, I would soon lose my fine motor control. My gross motor control would go next and I would be rendered helpless, not able to do anything but swing my arms uselessly from side to side. To keep that from happening, I needed to take a deep breath. I tried to, but Trevor’s arm was wrapped so tightly around me that I couldn’t fill my lungs. I did the best I could and I started to feel marginally better.

Greta had come into the room while this was going on and seemed unsure what to do. She couldn’t get to Trevor as long as I was pressed up against him and Natalie was in his arms, so she stayed in place, watching.

Trevor apparently noticed her watching him. “You need to put that dog outside, Lily.”

I hoped that would give me the opening I needed to somehow get my baby back. “Okay, but you’ll have to let go of me.”

His grip slackened, but he still held on. “I’m not going to let go. I’ll just walk with you.”

I took a step toward the back door, forcing air into my lungs at the same time.

He spoke into my ear. “Remember who’s holding the baby.”

I felt my face pale and stopped walking, then turned toward him as much as I could with his iron grip on my arm. “Please don’t hurt her,” I barely managed to say, as I felt the fear choke me.

“I would never hurt her.”

I didn’t understand what he had meant and wanted to ask him, but he pulled on my arm.

“Just get that dog outside,” he said.

I took small steps toward the back door and Greta followed.

“Put that plastic thing in the dog door.”

I did as instructed.

“Now open the door and let her out.”

“Okay.” I was too scared to disobey, not knowing what he might do to Natalie. “Come on, Greta,” I said, opening the back door and encouraging her to go outside. She seemed hesitant, but I kept encouraging her until she went out.

Trevor closed the door before I had a chance to. “That’s better,” he said.

He let go of my arm and I spun toward him. The way he was acting was like the Trevor I’d run away from in Reno and I was scared. I looked at Natalie, crying in his arms, and didn’t know what to do. My self-defense lessons had never involved a baby. “What do you want?”

“You’ve had your turn with Natalie since she was born. Now it’s my turn to have her.”

As the meaning of his words sunk in, I felt a scream climbing up my throat. I opened my mouth and took a breath, but before I could make a sound, Trevor swung his fist toward my head so swiftly that I didn’t have time to react. As his fist made contact, I thought my head would explode. Stars appeared before my eyes and I started blacking out. I felt myself falling in what felt like slow motion. I could hear Greta barking frantically outside the back door, but it sounded muffled. Finally everything went black as I fell to the floor, unconscious.

Chapter Forty-Three

When I woke up, my hands were tied behind my back, my ankles were tied together, and I was lying on the ground, my cheek pressed against the wood floor. I was still by the back door where I had fallen, but Greta had stopped barking. At first I was groggy and couldn’t remember exactly what had happened, but as the fog cleared from my mind, it all came back to me in stunningly clear detail.

“Natalie,” I whispered, as I understood that Trevor had taken her. No more words came out of my mouth as the reality of what had happened pressed down upon me and seemed to crush my very soul. From the deepest part of me, great sobs rose to the surface and I lay there, a puddle of tears forming on the floor under my cheek.

The grief overwhelmed me and I wanted to die. I couldn’t go on without my baby girl. She was such an integral part of my life now that I couldn’t see myself living without her. As I pictured her sweet face, my breasts ached as milk filled the ducts. It was time to feed her and my body knew it.

How would Trevor care for her? She had never used a bottle before. Would she be able to? How would she react to the formula he was sure to give her? Anger pounded through my veins as I pictured him knocking me down, tying me up, then running off with my baby. He had no right. Was he doing it just to hurt me? I had seen him with her and he had always been tender, but he had never had to deal with her when she was upset. Would be able to take care of her properly?

I had to get her back
.

With difficulty, I managed to get myself into a sitting position. Then, scooting backward until my back was against the wall, I pushed against it and was able to stand. I hopped into the kitchen and turned my back to one of the drawers. Using my hands, I pulled the drawer open and carefully felt around until I found a pair of scissors.

Though my wrists were tied, I could move my hands and I was able to open the scissors. I set the scissor handle over the front of the drawer, causing the sharp part of the open scissors to point upward, then pushed the drawer closed, which held the scissors in place.

Then I put the rope against the sharp edge of the scissors and carefully, so as not to make the scissors fall over, I rubbed the rope against the sharp edge. Time seemed to stop as I slowly sawed the rope against the scissors. Finally it felt like the ropes were loosening. Then, one of the layers of rope broke.

I took a deep breath, forcing myself to be patient and continued my task. Eventually the ropes loosened enough that I was able to get my hands free. Tears pushed into my eyes in relief. Blinking rapidly to clear my vision, I bent to my ankles and tried to untie the rope. My hands shook and I was having trouble getting the knot loose. Grabbing the scissors, I cut at the rope until I was free.

I looked at the clock and realized it had been nearly an hour since Trevor had knocked me out and tied me up. My first instinct was to call the police, but then I remembered the money I’d hidden in the secret room and wondered if I could use it to lure Trevor back. I had no idea where he’d gone, but I did have his cell phone number.

Racing to my purse, I pulled out my cell phone and punched in his number. Not surprisingly, he didn’t answer. I listened for his the beep and then left a voice message.

“Trevor, I know you have Natalie,” my voice shook and I took a deep breath to gain control. “You might be interested to know that I have something you might want. I found the SD card in your gym bag before I mailed it back to you and I dug up the money. I’ll make a trade with you. If you bring Natalie back, I’ll give you the two-hundred thousand dollars.”

I hung up, then went to the back door and let Greta in. She burst through the door, agitated. I was certain she could sense that something was very wrong.

“It will be okay,” I murmured as I knelt next to her and hugged her.

I paced as I waited for him to call back. After ten minutes I couldn’t take it anymore. I called Marcus’ cell phone. He didn’t answer. “Marcus, please call me as soon as you get this.” I felt myself losing control. My voice shook and I forced myself to speak slowly or Marcus would never understand what I said. “Trevor took Natalie.”

I hung up and walked into the living room, setting my cell phone on the coffee table, then looked out the window. It was almost dark outside but I stared out, hoping somehow that Trevor would decide to bring Natalie back.

After several minutes I knew my hopes were just a fantasy. He had no intention of bringing her back. I wasn’t even sure if the money would lure him here. As the last bit of hope seeped out of my heart, I collapsed on the couch.

The image of Natalie in Trevor’s arms, crying and hungry, filled my mind. Would he know what to do to care for her? What if he gets upset and hurts her? As I imagined the worse, panic engulfed me. Hysteria climbed up my throat and uncontrollable sobs pushed their way out of my mouth.

I lay there, a slave to my emotions. Tears and snot ran down my face, but I didn’t care. All I could think about was my baby and never seeing her again. The thought that I had seen Natalie for the last time threw me into fresh hysterics. I felt myself falling into an abyss. I was sinking, sinking. I welcomed the black wave that was slowly drowning me. I didn’t want to live if I couldn’t have my baby with me.

My cell phone rang. The sound slowly pulled me above the wave. It felt like a life preserver. I lifted myself from the couch and wiped my eyes and nose on my sleeve, then reached for the cell phone on the coffee table.

“Hello?” my voice cracked.

“Lily?”

My hopes soared. It was Trevor. I heard Natalie crying in the background and I dissolved into tears. “Please, Trevor. Please bring her back.”

“Lily, you know I can’t do that. You and I both know I’ve crossed a line and if you get her back you’ll run again. I can’t let you take my baby away from me.”

“Trevor, I’m begging you,” I said, sobbing. “I’ll do anything. I’ll stay married to you if that’s what you want. Just bring her back.”

“Your lies won’t fool me. I know you’ll say anything at this point to get her back. I know it’s over between us. I gave you so many chances to come back to me and you turned down each and every one. You know, Lily, it’s funny. Amanda can’t have children, but she said she’s always wanted to be a mother. I promised her if it didn’t work out between you and me that I’d get her a baby. My baby.”

“No!” I screamed.
This is just a nightmare. I’ll wake up and Natalie will be in her crib
. Frantically, I pinched my arm, trying to wake up. When that didn’t work I started hyperventilating. I began blacking out. Desperately, I took a deep breath. I couldn’t break this connection with Trevor. I had to convince him to bring Natalie back.

“You know, Lily, you were my first choice. I had to be sure it was really over before I decided on Amanda. But you made it perfectly clear that you didn’t want me. It’s too bad, really. We could have made lots of beautiful babies together.”

Desperate for a way to get Natalie back before Trevor disappeared with her, my mind raced. “Trevor,” I hurriedly said. “Did you get my message? About the money?”

“Yes, but you know I can’t believe you.”

“I have it! I have it!” I screamed, frantic for him to believe me. “I don’t even want it! I was  waiting to give it back to you!”

He laughed. “Lily, take a breath.”

Tears ran down my face as I sobbed. “It’s in a metal box. I had to use bolt cutters to open it. I put the rocks back after I dug it up.”

Trevor was silent and for a moment and I thought I’d lost the connection. Then I heard Natalie fussing in the background.

“How did you know where to find it?” he asked.

He’s starting to believe me!
“On the SD card. There was a file. It had the GPS coordinates. I used the coordinates to find it. I had to walk around before I found the pile of rocks.”

“You little . . .,” Trevor said. “Okay, so you have it. Now what?”

The sliver of hope overwhelmed me and I felt dizzy. I took another deep breath, trying to clear my head. “Come back to the house. I’ll give you the money. I don’t want it. I just want Natalie.”

“No, I have a better idea. We’ll meet somewhere and make the exchange.”

“Okay,” I said, ready to agree to anything. “When and where?”

“Wow. I didn’t know you’d be so eager to see me.”

“When and where, Trevor. Just tell me and I’ll be there.”

“Fifteen minutes. The park at the south end of town.”

“Okay,” I said, but he’d already hung up.

Chapter Forty-Four

I put my phone in my purse and grabbed my keys, then raced up the stairs. Greta followed me as I ran into Natalie’s room. I tried not to look at Natalie’s empty crib as I opened the closet and moved the boxes out of the way. I opened the door to the hidden room and crawled inside.

Frantically, I tossed everything out of the box where I’d stashed the money. Finally I reached the metal box and pulled it out. I had never gotten around to getting a new lock and I had to use two hands to carry it to keep the lid from opening and the money from spilling out.

I sprinted down the stairs, glanced at my purse on the table, but left it there since it would be difficult to grab it with my hands full, and ran out to my car. I was in too much of a hurry to even bother locking the front door. I knew Greta would keep it safe. It was pitch black outside, but the porch light threw enough illumination for me to see what I was doing. Popping open the trunk, I set the metal box inside, then slammed the lid shut before climbing in the driver’s seat and turning on the engine.

I threw the car into reverse and spun around until I was facing back down the gravel drive. Spinning my wheels until my tires gained traction, I punched the gas pedal and raced down the drive, turning toward town once I reached the paved street.

Ten minutes later I pulled up to the park and stopped in the only place where there was some light, although it was dim. I didn’t see Trevor’s car anywhere. My eyes combed the area, searching for any sign of Trevor and Natalie, but I couldn’t see anything in the near-dark. Suddenly I became aware that the front of my shirt was soaked. I wasn’t sure if it was from tears or leaking breast milk. Most likely both. I pulled some tissues from the box I kept in the car and blew my nose so I could breath normally.