Double Down (25 page)

She felt like that now.

Ryan’s eyes glowed with blazing passion, so dark that they appeared nearly black. The set of his jaw said his control was already a very thin, very tenuous thing.

Cass had found her answer. Whoa baby, was it a doozy.

She had liked their few roleplaying sessions.
Really
liked it, if she was honest. The ability to become someone else, if only for a while, freed her from so many expectations. She could curse and be as bad as she wanted, all with a trusted partner. What wasn’t to love for a woman whose scale weighed more heavily toward cowardice than bravery?

Ryan, however… Ryan was that thunderstorm over the Canyon. Something powerful and sparking and absolutely electric.

Thoughts as to why he kept his kink under wraps, hidden even from her, flew away as he stripped her. Didn’t merely undress her. He
stripped
her. Cass almost wanted to hide her body—that’s how methodically and relentlessly he moved.

A potent rush of adrenaline held her still. She couldn’t begin to keep up with him, not the way he leaped miles ahead of her in terms of arousal. Part of the fun was knowing she’d finally found his trigger. Like when she’d tempted him to join in that fun phone-sex session, she felt powerful. He already did so much to make her wobbly and breathless. Now she could return the favor.

Cool air washed over her bare stomach. She wasn’t bare for long. Ryan laid his strong, broad torso over hers, their chests crushed together as he kissed her. Crudely. With so much force. His tongue plunged in, swiping past her teeth. He caught her moan, then dove deeper. She grabbed the back of his head, surprised when her instinct was to drag him even closer. The violence he swirled around them was intoxicating.

The boy wanted to play rough. Good. Because she wanted to be the sort of girl who could take it. All of it. No fear. Just a gluttonous, headlong rush toward her release. She shivered against a flash flood of pure sexual energy.

Suddenly Cass wanted to be on top. She wanted to see that furious arousal on his face, looking down on his lovely body as she rode her flyboy. With no small amount of strength, she shoved his chest. He didn’t budge. Just thrust his fingers into her pussy. She groaned, hips lifting toward his graceless touch, and she shoved again. With all her strength. The fact she couldn’t move him—not when he didn’t want to be moved—propelled her up another notch.

“Do you want me to stop?” he rasped against her mouth. The words sounded like a threat, not a question. As if he’d take her anyway.

That she could push a good man that far. Dear God, what power.

She whimpered, again bucking against the rough drive of his fingers. Sweat dotted her skin—along her inner thighs, the insides of her elbows, the undersides of her breasts.

“I want,” she gasped.

“What?”

“On top.” She thrashed her head against the pillow, fingers clawing into his shoulders. “I want to be on top.”

Ryan grabbed her ass with both hands and rolled. Clinging to taut muscles, she went with him. They misjudged the width of the mattress. Cass tipped over the edge. She threw out her foot to catch her balance. Her sole touched the floor but her weakened knees turned traitor, collapsing beneath her weight. She sagged to the hardwood with a gasp of laughter.

“Shit,” he said from where he sprawled on the comforter. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Now get your fine ass down here.”

He scrambled off the bed and snagged a condom from the top of the dresser. Kneeling stomach to stomach, Cass ripped the T-shirt off over his head. He turned and propped his upper body beneath a bank of windows, as she dragged his basketball shorts down, down off his long legs.

“You’re right.” He was panting, even after the small break in their intensity. “You on top.”

“Why?”

Hazel eyes were all darkness and passion. He sat almost straight against the wall, the backs of his knees pressed flat to the floor. “You set the pace. I don’t trust myself.”

Cass tipped her chin toward the ceiling as another gorgeous shiver worked up her spine. After a deep breath to calm her trembling, she rolled the condom over his epic hard-on. Masculine hands that were almost cruel—stiff with tension—guided her hips as she straddled him.

Oh
…as he filled her.

A long moan rumbled in her chest. His arms crisscrossed up her spine. She arched back, then pressed her breasts together. Offering herself to him. With his face right there, Ryan caught a nipple and sucked. Back and forth. He opened his mouth, devouring more of her flesh as she found her rhythm. Each push of his cock met the grind of her hips.

“I love riding you,” she gasped against his ear. “You hear me, Ryan? I fucking
love
it.”

“Hell, yeah. Ride me, baby. C’mon. Fuck me.”

Cass slid her palms high overhead, grabbing the window’s lower sill for leverage. She bit down where his neck met his body. On a grunt, he cinched his arms behind her back. Their torsos smashed together. The wall supporting his shoulders meant he had nowhere to go. Each of their thrusts met that implacable barrier. He jammed her down onto his every upward plunge.

No such thing as setting the pace. Not for either of them. Their bodies were in charge.

A fierce orgasm built in her belly and in her thighs, colliding right where they joined. Cass threw her head back on a screech, which throttled down to a low moan. The contractions still pulsed and vibrated when Ryan stiffened. Tendons on the sides of his throat jumped. With one last upward jerk, he gasped.

His head thunked backward against the wall. Cass bowed forward. His body was the absolute best place to rest, strong and solid. Her rock.

Chests heaving, they sat like that until the air chilled her sweaty skin. Ryan’s erection subsided within her—such an intimate feeling. She licked the raw place where she’d bit down. He was salty and almost feverishly warm. Cuddling up against him was comforting, especially when he stroked her hair, petting, smoothing the disheveled strands.

“You okay?”

Cass giggled. “Of course I am.” Then she sighed, playing with a whorl of his chest hair. “That was just…
wow
.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, c’mon. Gimme a ‘fuck, yeah’ at least.”

“Woman, you have a filthy mouth.”

“You bring it out in me.”

His eyes rolled closed, looking completely sandblasted. He’d worn that same expression after the best of their games. Never, ever would she complain about the times when they made love. Earlier that evening on the couch had been wonderful, but there was a huge difference between wonderful and shattering.

As she and Ryan wordlessly disengaged and readied for bed, Cass couldn’t shake the idea that she’d stumbled onto a treasure trove of knowledge. She’d been right, even there at the start when his gaze had caught on her stockings. The roleplaying got him off like nothing else, which complemented her needs and desires so perfectly that she almost shook with its rightness.

He still hadn’t spoken. He hadn’t shared in her ridiculously satisfied laughter. A quick push back through their early encounters revealed the same pattern. Extreme excitement and satisfaction followed by…silence. A silence that left her doubting they’d even shared the same experience. He closed off so completely that she’d nearly been convinced the turn-on was hers alone.

That sure as hell wasn’t the case.

Brushing her teeth, she kept slanting him looks. He merely walked around his apartment, turning off the lights and checking the front lock, as if this mystery didn’t exist between them. As if it wasn’t growing with every minute that ticked by.

What was he thinking? Why had he hidden this from her?

She fought a shiver. How far, exactly, would they go when that naughty-schoolgirl costume arrived in the mail?

Gilly was running late for their afternoon coffee break at Starbucks, but Cass appreciated the opportunity to compose herself. She’d become a tangle of all things giddy. Her inner thighs were still sore from the night before, and the email on her phone stated that her costume had shipped. A nervous thrill made her bite her lower lip. She couldn’t believe how excited she was. Still. All over again. They’d set their big date for the following Friday, which meant a whole week to anticipate.

Any niggle of doubt… Well, she could ignore that long enough to convince Ryan this was what they both wanted.

After setting a mocha on the table, Gilly plopped her purse on the floor next to her seat. She was dressed for work at the steakhouse, with her black hair threaded in a French braid.

“Now that is a bad-girl smile if I ever saw one,” she said.

“Hey, you.” Slipping her phone away, Cass knew it was true. She couldn’t deny that Ryan made her feel delectably wicked. “Don’t tease me. I can’t help it.”

“Good for you. Although I’m seriously jealous. Maybe I’ll see if they have civilian tours of Nellis.”

Ah, God.
Always such a rush of adrenaline-fueled terror when she put the two together. Ryan plus fighter pilot. The combination that had once turned her on so fast now severed her air supply for entirely different reasons. She was falling for him. Big time. That meant accepting all of him, including the ridiculously dangerous job he’d worked toward since he was young—the job that had maybe even saved him from a wasted life.

She just needed time. Time and a few more of Ryan’s reassurances.

“I’m not sure the pilots are there on display,” she said. “They do work, you know. Speaking of, how’s it been at Blakely’s?”

Gilly took a sip of her drink and swiped whipped cream off her upper lip. “Oh, barrels and barrels of monkeys. I’ve actually been having a fun time.”

“Oh?”

“Tommy and Julia have been psycho crazy ever since you left. I think it’s because Cynthia expects everyone else to pick up her skinny-ass slack. She does the bare minimum, and then the Witch hits the fan. And it all starts over again!”

Cass blinked. “Wow.”

Maybe on a different day she would’ve felt some sort of smug satisfaction. All she found was relief—relief that she’d escaped that toxic environment. Those people didn’t influence her anymore, and they obviously had it a whole lot worse than she did. Her transformed life made her far too happy to wish them ill will.

“So yeah,” Gilly said, grinning. “Fun times. At least no one seems to give a damn anymore if I’m ten minutes late.”

“Ten. Yeah, right.”

Gilly moved on to talk about her latest sculpture, which thankfully kept Cass’s thoughts from straying back to Ryan. Their shared love of art was a hallmark of her friendship with the other woman, especially when waitressing had threatened to decompose their brains. With any luck, Cass would one day be in a position to show Gilly’s work. The prospect of helping a talented artist find an audience was exciting.

“So, your turn,” Gilly said. “The gallery first, then your hot fighter pilot.”

Finishing her chai, Cass fought the rejuvenated bubble of excitement under her ribs. “Prep work for the gala is clicking along. I’m dog tired, but in a good way, you know?”

“Sure. I’m always that way in the middle of a big project.”

“Mr. Hungerford, the owner, is looking over candidates to represent the gallery at an exhibition in Florence this August.”

“You’ve got the qualifications for that, missy.”

“I know. It’s just…early? Like, I only just stepped up. Maybe if the gala goes well, I’ll have a shot.”

She hadn’t told Ryan about the possibility yet, mostly because the odds seemed so long. Her intense hours and dedication weren’t just for the upcoming gala, but for her future at the gallery. And hello,
Italy
. Wouldn’t that be making a statement to the world?

“Now Ryan. Come on, give it up.”

Cass shrugged. “What can I say? It’s been fantastic. His friends are going to take some getting used to, but I like how much they all look after one another. Though now that I’ve seen his plane and heard them swap stories, I’m kinda freaked about how dangerous it all is. I mean, they’re
warriors
. Bombs and crashes and deployments. It’s all possible for Ryan.” Her pulse had accelerated well out of proportion with that cozy cafe scene. “The most danger-prone guy I’ve ever dated patched roofs during his summer vacations.”

“It’s hot.”

“Sure, but it’s scary too.”

“He’s the shit, though, right? He’s not some crazy cakes who does stupid crap to show off?”

“No,” Cass said with a smile. That sounded about as far from Ryan as possible. She’d never worried about a wild streak—more like his determination. She could imagine him putting himself at risk for his friends, his fellow pilots, and that thought turned her bones to liquid.

Gilly looked at her watch. “Rats. I gotta go. You have just enough time to give me something good to think about tonight.”

“I am not going to be your alone-time inspiration.”

“Oh, come on.” She grinned. “I promise that I won’t say a word when I see him at the gala.”

Cass almost flinched at that possibility. The strange thing about having unraveled Ryan’s big-time turn-on was how protective she felt of his secret.
Their
secret. She didn’t want to have to justify why roleplaying worked for them. He’d be mortified, like that first time when the clerk at Anna’s Boudoir knew what they’d done. She hoped that time and proof of her own eagerness would help him loosen up, but that meant discretion. She owed him that measure of trust.

So, a little something for her friend. Something vague.

“You know that scene from
Thelma & Louise
?”

“
The
scene? Brad and Geena on a table?”

“Yeah, there against the wall?” Grinning, Cass ignored the blush that flamed down her throat. “That was us last weekend. Ryan’s version of a quiet Sunday brunch.”

“I hate you. Officially. Just so you know.”

Cass leaned in, as if ready to share another salacious secret. “Then he made breakfast.”

“Ugh.” Gilly rolled her eyes as she stood. “Come give me a hug so I don’t have to plot how to blow up your house.”