Double Fudge (14 page)

"Manatee," Fauna guessed, sure she got it right this time.

"No!" Mini shouted, surprising everyone.
"Egduf."

"Egduf?" Flora said. "What's an egduf?"

"It's me!" Fudge told them. "Mini wants to be
me
for Halloween."

"You?" the Natural Beauties said at the same time.

"Yes," Fudge told them.
"Yelraf Rose
wants to be
Egduf MuriIl."

"Does anybody know what's going on here?" Howie asked.

"I do," Eudora said. "And it makes perfect sense.'

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On Halloween night the Natural Beauties brought Mini up to our apartment. Fudge was already dressed as a miser in a white shirt, a pair of red suspenders, and his money tie from the Bureau of Printing and Engraving. He carried his pouch of shredded money in one hand, and in the other, his trick-or-treat bag.

Mom had another white shirt ready for Mini, along with a second pair of red suspenders. Since there was only one money tie, Mom let Fudge decorate an old green tie of Dad's. He drew dollar signs with wings all over it. Mom plunked a men's hat on each of their heads. Then she snapped photos of the two of them--the miser and his double.

The doorbell rang. It was Melissa Beth Miller, from downstairs. She was carrying her cat in a basket. Fuzzball was wearing a pointy black hat. "He's my wizard," she said. "And I'm Hermione from ..."

"Don't say it out loud!" Fudge shouted.

"Don't worry," Melissa said. "I never say
his
name out loud."

"Whose name?" Flora asked.

"Never mind," I told them. This was all getting to be too much for me.

"Okay, Pete ... let's go!" Fudge said.

"Go?" I asked.

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"Yeah. You're taking me and Melissa."

"Wait a minute. I thought you're going with Flora and Fauna."

"No, they're taking Mini."

"We couldn't possibly be responsible for more than one child," Fauna said.

"Because we'll be busy taking notes for our report on the cultural event," Flora told me.

"Daddy says we each have to write three pages," Fauna said.

"Single spaced," Flora added, in case I still didn't get it.

"Okay ... okay," I said. "Let's just go and get this over with."

We all took the elevator to the sixteenth floor and started working our way down. At every apartment the Natural Beauties sang a few lines from their collection of New York songs-"East Side, West Side"; "Forty-second Street"; "Give My Regards to Broadway"; "Manhattan." The neighbors loved it. They tried to shower the Natural Beauties with candy but they politely refused.

On the sixth floor we met up with Olivia Osterman, who was just coming out of her apartment. She was wearing a long red cape. "I'm going to a party," she said, holding a feathered bird mask in front of her face.

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"You look like Uncle Feather, except you're the wrong color," Fudge told her.

"I'm a nightingale, not a myna," Mrs. Osterman said as she pressed the button for the elevator.

The Goldens, who also live on six, opened their door. Mr. and Mrs. Golden and their daughter, Gina, were all wearing fright wigs. "Happy Halloween!" they sang together. They had vampire teeth in their mouths. Mini growled at them. Before the Natural Beauties could get out two notes, the Goldens' poodle started barking at Fuzzball. Fuzzball leaped out of the basket and ran for his life, straight into the Goldens' apartment. "Fuzzball, come back here!" Melissa called, chasing him. Mrs. Golden ran after Melissa, and Gina ran after Mrs. Golden. Mr. Golden just stood there in his fright wig and vampire teeth, holding the bowl of candy bars.

"How many?" Fudge asked.

"How many
what?"
Mr. Golden said.

"Candies," Fudge said. "How many can I take?"

"How about one?" Mr. Golden said.

"How about two?" Fudge asked.

"Okay," Mr. Golden said. "Two."

"Mini doesn't have a bag," Fudge told Mr. Golden. "So I'll also take two for him."

Mr. Golden said, "Four candy bars is a lot of candy."

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"Not really," Fudge argued, "because you said I could take two. Besides, Peter and Flora and Fauna aren't taking any. So it's a real bargain." He reached into the bowl again. "But I better take two for Melissa in case she forgets."

"What are you, an entrepreneur?" Mr. Golden asked.

"No, I'm a miser." He pointed to Mini. "And he's my double."

"Egduf," Mini said.

Mr. Golden just shook his head.

Melissa couldn't find Fuzzball anywhere in the apartment. Mrs. Golden asked me and the Natural Beauties to help look for him. I don't know how long it took to find Fuzzball, but I know it was too long. Way too long. Because by the time we found him--on top of a stack of towels in the bathroom closet--Fudge and Mini were nowhere in sight.

"Did you see them leave?" I asked Mr. Golden, who was offering the bowl of candy to another group of kids.

"Who?" Mr. Golden asked.

"The misers," I told him. When he looked blank I added, "The little kids in the red suspenders."

"Oh, they left a long time ago."

"This is bad news," Flora cried.

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"We're going to be in so much trouble," Fauna said.

"What'll we do?" they asked together.

"First we'll take Melissa home," I said, taking charge.

"But I'm not done trick-or-treating," Melissa said.

"Maybe you're not, but your cat is," I told her.

"He's not my cat, he's my wizard."

"Either way, it's time for him to go home."

I pressed the button for the elevator. Then we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, I said, "Come on, we'll take the stairs."

I led them down the back stairway. We met other groups of trick-or-treaters along the way. One of the fathers said, "Whew ... these stairs are tough going."

Another one muttered something about the new elevator.

"Yeah, I know," I told him. "We waited on
six
but it never came."

"Probably all those trick-or-treaters," he said.

In the lobby a group of neighbors had gathered around the video monitor. "Henry," I said, "you haven't by any chance seen ..."

He pointed to the monitor.

I looked at the screen. But it was so dark you had

196

to look really carefully to see anything. You could just make out somebody sitting on the bench waving a pencil flashlight. Wait a minute ... was that a bird mask? The light moved and landed on Mini's face.

"What's going on?" I asked Henry.

"They're stuck between floors," Henry said.

"Oh no!" the Natural Beauties cried.

The light moved again and caught the control panel. You could see a small hand, then part of a face. It was Fudge.

"Can't you do something?" I asked.

"Shush ..." Henry said. "He's trying to use the intercom."

"This is Egduf Muriel, Yelraf Rose, and Aivilo Veruschka," Fudge said in a small voice.

Aivilo?
I thought. Then I realized
Aivilo
spelled backwards is "Olivia." So it
was
Olivia Osterman.

"This elevator won't go anywhere," Fudge said. "It won't go up and it won't go down. And besides that, it's dark in here. And hot."

A buzz went through the group around the monitor. "Quiet, please!" Henry called. Then he pressed his TALK button. "Are you all right, Mrs. O? Can you breathe?"

"She looks like a bird breather with her mask," Fudge said.

"Can you get us out of here?" Mrs. Osterman asked,

197

very politely. "Halloween comes just once a year, you know. And who knows where I'll be a year from now?"

"Help is on the way," Henry said.

"Will it be the fire department?" Mrs. Osterman asked. "I've always wanted to be rescued by one of those handsome young men."

"They should be here any minute," Henry said. "Along with the elevator maintenance crew."

"Don't worry," Fudge said. "We're not hungry. We still have forty-seven candy bars to go."

"Yum," Mini said and we could see him eating one.

The Natural Beauties asked Henry if they could talk to Mini. Henry pressed his TALK button.

"Mini ... it's Flora."

"And Fauna. We love you. Don't be scared."

"He's not scared," Fudge said. "Nobody's scared."

"We're going to sing now," Mrs. Osterman announced. "You can listen to our special song." The three of them began to sing to the tune of "Frere Jacques."

Egduf Muriel, Egduf Muriel,

Yelraf Rose, Yelraf Rose,

Aivilo Veruschka ... Aivilo Veruschka,

Touch your nose,

Or your toes ...

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Word about the elevator spread through the building. Mom and Dad heard it from one of the trick-or-treaters who came to their door. They ran down all twelve flights of stairs. Howie and Eudora heard it at about the same time. Cousin Howie pushed through the crowd, which had grown. "I'll take charge now, Henry. I'm a park ranger. I know what to do in case of emergencies."

"Sorry, Cousin H," Henry said, "but in this case, I'm in charge. And I've turned the operation over to the fire department and the emergency elevator-maintenance team. They're on the scene now."

"How long have they been trapped in the elevator?" Dad asked.

"Close to forty minutes," Henry said.

"Oh ..." Eudora moaned.

"Water," Mom called. "Somebody bring her a glass of water." And she helped Eudora to a chair.

"I want to talk to my son," Dad said.

"Sure thing, Mr. H." Henry put Dad on the intercom.

"Fudge ... this is Dad. Talk to me, please."

"Hi, Dad," Fudge said. "Aivilo taught us this game."

"Aivilo?" Dad said.

"That's 'Olivia' spelled backwards," I whispered.

"See ... first you think up an animal," Fudge said, describing the game to Dad. "And then you try to

199

make the others guess which animal it is. I did panda and Mini guessed it."

"Sounds like a good game," Dad said. "How is Mini?"

"He's resting now." Fudge shined Mrs. Osterman's flashlight on Mini. He was stretched out across the bench, his head in Mrs. Osterman's lap. She was fanning him with her bird mask.

"Fudge ... let me talk to Mrs. Osterman," Dad said.

"Hello, dearie ..." she said. "Don't worry. We're all right. Just a bit anxious. We'd like to be out of here."

"Dad ..." Fudge said. "Guess how many candy bars Mini ate?"

"Candy?" Cousin Howie said.

"Seven so far," Fudge said. "But now he has a tummy ache. That's why he's resting."

Cousin Howie grabbed the intercom. "Farley ... no more candy. Got that?"

But before Mini could answer, the lights in the elevator came on, and we could hear the whir of a fan.

"Oh my ..." Mrs. Osterman said, "that feels good."

Then a guy in uniform dropped into the elevator from a hatch in the ceiling. We heard a noise, and a minute later Fudge said, "We're moving!"