Double Heat [Twin Ties: 3] (10 page)

“Why don’t we ever go out together?” Brennan asked next, voicing another worry. “We’re always here, in the apartment. We don’t all go out to dinner, or to a game, or even to the grocery store. Errands are always claimed by one person who runs out by themselves. Are we doing it on purpose? Are we all secretly ashamed of this? Cause I’m not ashamed. I’m just... scared.”

“Not everyone’s gonna be as cool as Jimmy, Carter, and Presley.” Evan sighed. He shut off the water and turned to face Brennan. The strength conveyed by the steadiness of his gaze and his clenched jaw worked wonders on Brennan’s doubts. It was amazing how strong Evan could be when he wasn’t trying or paying attention. “I’m not ashamed either. I just don’t need to share this with anyone who might not get it.”

“So we’re hiding forever?” Brennan wondered.

“
You’re
not.”

“I am though.”

“Bren, listen,” Evan urged, holding Brennan’s arms, up by the shoulders. “I don’t want you telling people anything about this during your trip. Wait until you have us there to stand with you and support you. It’s safer for you that way. Please.”

“You’re freaking me out,” Brennan said softly.

“I just have a bad feeling, is all. Then again, I
am
the pessimist. Just tell me to snap out of it or something.”

After Brennan murmured unconvincingly, “Snap out of it or something,” Evan gave him a hug.

Soon, it was back to packing, mapping out driving directions and valiantly ignoring the text messages on his phone. The thing that kept him going, determined to follow through, was his mom. In a lot of ways, he still felt like she was waiting for him, back in Monroe, and would be incredibly disappointed if he didn’t make it for her birthday. After crossing lines with Evan that surely would have broken her heart, there was no doubt that Brennan had to go back, for Maggie’s sake. He may have hurt her, but he would never forget her.

Time slid by like it had been greased by fate. Unable to hold on to any one moment, before he knew it, it was Friday morning. Brennan threw his bag into the passenger seat of his white Chevy and glanced nervously around at Alek, Evan, and even Luka who was braving pre-dawn morning just to have a chance to say goodbye. They all looked groggy and no one said anything. They just gave him hugs and kisses goodbye, one by one.

“Behave,” is all he told them.

“You too,” Alek replied.

“Can we not say the rest?” Brennan asked. “It’ll freak me out.”

“What’s the rest?” Alek asked, not yet awake enough to decipher Brennan’s intent.

“The L word.”

“Lesbian?”

“Fuck you.”

“Drive safe, okay?” Alek said seriously. Even adding, “I mean it.”

“Oh, well if you
mean it
,” Brennan said sarcastically. “Don’t say the G word either.”

“It’s too early for rules,” Luka complained, rubbing a hand over his face. He stepped forward, took hold of Brennan’s face with both hands and said, “Be a good Cupcake. Don’t be long.”

Brennan smiled at that, but then started to get weepy, so he turned away and walked to the driver’s side door of the car. “I’ve gotta go. Call me whenever. I won’t answer if I’m driving, but I’ll call you back later. And remember to Skype with me every night. I wrote the times on the paper on the fridge, so don’t forget, okay?”

“Go on,” Evan said, smiling with encouragement when Brennan hesitated, chewing at his lip. “Have fun.”

“Yeah,” Brennan smiled back, then finally got in the car.

He drove away into the unknown and forced himself not to look back, but gave a wave before turning the corner and losing sight of the ones he loved.

Luka managed to talk Evan into driving him back and forth from work that day, since he didn’t have to go to the garage. Evan agreed because it gave him a chance to feel responsible and helpful instead of being the one always needing to ask favors. There was something about being able to do something nice for someone he loved that pushed all of his worries away. In concept, it seemed like a good, boyfriend-like thing to do, and a way to keep his mind off of Brennan.

In reality, it played out a little differently than expected.

Instead of being outside of the gym, ready and waiting, Luka was nowhere to be seen at the appointed pick-up time, and he wasn’t answering his phone, which probably meant the phone was muted and left inside Luka’s gym bag. To add further complication, the gym was swarming with people. Evan suspected that even if Luka emerged from the building, he wouldn’t see Evan’s car. So, Evan left the car parked about three rows deep in the mostly-full lot and walked up to the gym.

Head down, hands in his jeans’ pockets, he glanced around for Luka while trying to avoid making eye contact with most people. He didn’t see anyone he recognized in the small groups lingering outside the main doors, for which he was thankful. As it was the only gym around, there were a lot of people they knew who were members and used it regularly. The odds of seeing someone who would know him, or Luka, were worryingly high.

Pushing through the double glass doors, holding one for a girl in cropped, pink spandex pants and a sports bra, Evan smiled politely when she gave him an inviting smile and purred, “Hey,” while tossing her platinum blonde ponytail over a shoulder with a flick of her head. She was pretty, but he was gay, so he quickly averted his gaze and kept walking.

Evan wound up having to walk past the main desk and down a short hallway in order to find Luka, who was standing with someone Evan didn’t know and chatting away. Luka’s conversation partner saw Evan approach before Luka did and said to Evan with a confused squint, “Didn’t you have blonder hair? Nice haircut, man.”

Finally, Luka glanced around, and did what Luka always did when encountering Evan after multiple hours apart. He moved closer and slung an arm around Evan’s shoulders, drawing Evan flush to his side. It instantly made Evan very uncomfortable and he shrank in on himself as the guy looked them and their cozy positions over.

“No, you’re thinking of Brennan,” Luka said obliviously, correcting his friend without thinking. “This is Evan. They’re twins.”

Really, Evan had no idea how the guy jumped to the conclusion he did. It was perfectly plausible that Luka had dumped Brennan to date Evan instead, but no, he guessed correctly and said, “You’re dating both?! You
dog
.”

Not liking the guy’s slimy grin or anything it implied, Evan made what was probably a poor attempt at masking his expression and bowed his head even further, trying to disappear.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the mystery friend apologized. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

Evan couldn’t tell if it was a serious question or another dig intended to insinuate that Evan’s definition of ‘uncomfortable’ was broader than most people’s. So he replied curtly, “No problem. Luka? We’ve gotta go.”

Mystery friend kept staring at Evan as Luka said, “Later, Mike.”

Evan pulled Luka away, toward the exit. Though he tried to slip out from under Luka’s arm, Luka was insistent and inescapable. They walked down the hall, probably with Mike grinning a sleazy, ‘those-guys-have-butt-sex’ grin behind their backs. Soon, they were at the reception desk area, almost clear of the building entirely, but then Jamie, Carter’s band mate, walked in with a girl Evan had seen at gigs but didn’t know by name. She had brown hair with bright pink tips and a nose ring.

Cursing inwardly, Evan forced on a smile, especially since he’d noticed Jamie before Luka had, and didn’t want to seem rude.

Jamie looked confused and his smile faltered as he said, “Hey, uh....”

“Evan,” Luka supplied, catching on at last. “It’s Evan. Hey, man.”

“Dude, I can’t tell them apart!” Jamie laughed. “Sorry, Ev.”

Mortified, Evan knew he was blushing as he murmured, “No problem.”

“They have completely different hair colors!” Luka reminded Jamie.

“Look the same to me,” Jamie shrugged. “What can I tell ya?”

The girl cleared her throat. Luka caught the hint before Jamie did.

“Oh, this is Meadow, Evan.”

“Luka’s dating twins,” Jamie added, helpfully. Evan died a little inside.

Meadow laughed, “No shit? Wow, Luka. That’s, uh... different.”

“Nice to meet you,” Evan said to her. “We’ve really gotta go.”

A minute later, they were finally in the car and Evan had had enough.

“Next time I wait in the car, even if it takes all goddamned night.”

“Why?” Luka sounded hurt and frowned at Evan’s display of humiliated anger.

“If everyone knows you’re dating both of us, and everyone knows
Alek
is dating both of us, they’re gonna start making assumptions about what Bren and I do together and I’m not even out to
my
friends yet. We haven’t discussed this together as a group, and that was a mistake, but it’s too late now. Now what’s-his-face—Mike—knows and some chick named Meadow knows and Jamie knows and Jamie says all sorts of shit when he’s drunk, so
everyone
will know.”

“So? Who cares?” Luka replied, sounding flippant, like he wasn’t fazed by the threats to their privacy.

“I care!” Evan yelled.

“Why?” Luka asked gently, trying to bring down Evan’s fright level by being cool, probably.

“Because it’s pretty frowned upon to have sex with family.”

“Who cares?”

“I don’t want to be scorned by the whole fucking town! I have to live here!” Evan gesturing to the parking lot full of people milling about, some of them glancing their way due to Evan’s shouting, which it seemed they could hear even through the glass windows.

“I’m not ashamed of us, Ev,” Luka explained. “I’m not going to lie about loving you. I’m not gonna pretend we’re not together. Is that what you really want? For me to be cold to you in public? You’re just as important to me as Brennan. I’m not choosing between you like that. Even if it means sacrificing some privacy.”

Evan knew Brennan had no issues with public displays of affection, since he’d been out in his old community and was just as willing to be out now, too.

“But you’re not giving me a say! Now all of these people have these opinions about me and they don’t even know me. Fucking rumors will start and....” He sighed, rubbing his forehead as a headache started to form.

“Hey,” Luka hushed, taking Evan’s hand and glancing around beyond the car, their little bubble in a sea of humanity. “Okay. I hear you. What would you prefer, then? What do you want me to do?”

“You know how I feel about you,” Evan tried to say, feeling anxious. “I know you love me, Luka. I don’t need to prove that to the world with public displays of affection. Can you just give me some time to get used to things? And, for now, hold off on things like hand holding, or putting your arm around me, or telling people you’re dating me without asking me first? Please? I need my privacy.
I need it
. There’s
too much
I can’t tell them.
Please
.”

Luka looked worried. He looked worried in a serious, no joking, no bullshit way. He looked
so
worried, in fact, that Evan was afraid Luka was about to cry, so Evan looked away first, waiting.

“Okay, Ev. I can do that. It would make it easier on you?”

“Yeah, it would,” Evan answered while looking down at his hands.

“And you know you can talk to me, about anything, right?
Anything
that’s bothering you. You
always
have a say, all right?”

“Yeah, all right,” he said softly, still unable to manage eye contact.

The issue resolved, for the moment, at least, Evan reversed out of the parking spot, and headed home.

“I’m headed over to see Jimmy and check in with him,” Evan said, palming his keys and wallet and walking toward the door of the apartment. Luka was settling in after working a full shift, but Alek wasn’t home yet. So, Evan was essentially, intentionally, abandoning Luka.

“How long are you gonna be?”

“I don’t know. I’ll be back by dinner. That okay?”

“Yeah, I guess. Want me to come with?” Luka asked. He sounded melancholy. It made Evan feel guilty.

“Nah, I got this. I won’t be long.”