Dragon Apocalypse (The Berserker and the Pedant Book 2) (5 page)

They entered a large chamber in the dragon’s lair.
 
The dragon lay on the ground, coiled up like a snake, scales reflecting the low light of Maximina’s eyes.
 
The dragon watched them with one enormous eye.

“Care for a cup of tea?” the unicorn asked.

Maximina looked around.
 
“Where’s your treasure?”
 
she asked.

“Smooth,” said the unicorn.
 
“Starting right in on the treasure, then?
 
How about asking about our day first?
 
It was a pretty good day, thanks for asking.”

“And the other maidens?” Pellonia asked.

“You three should have been a knight. You want to get right to it, just like a knight.
 
Where’s the treasure?
 
Where’s the maidens?
 
Follow me, then.”
 
The unicorn walked around the dragon and down another tunnel.
 
They came to a door and the unicorn lifted a hoof and knocked.
 
The door opened and a young woman with red hair and freckles stood in the doorway.

“So nice to see you.
 
Is this the new maiden?
 
Three of them?” the young woman asked.

Gurken scowled and opened his mouth to speak.

“Oh. I’m no maiden,” Maximina said.
 
Gurken glared at her.
 

“Neither is he,” Maximina said. Gurken growled and his leather gauntlets creaked against the wooden shaft of his axe.
 
Maximina shrugged.

The young woman put a hand to her mouth and tittered.
 
“My apologies, sir dwarf, your women have beards as well.
 
It’s difficult for me to tell the difference.
 
I certainly wasn’t expecting a man down here.”

There was some excited murmuring from inside the room.

“A man?”

“Is he handsome?”

“Bring him in!
 
Let’s see him.”

Pellonia rolled her eyes.
 
The unicorn snorted.
 
Gurken blushed.

The young woman moved aside and they entered the room.
 
It was another large chamber, separated into different sections by the furniture.
 
Shafts of light descended from holes in the ceiling, illuminating the room.
 

There was a large bed on the other side of the room, chairs ringing a small fire in a chimney, and desks.
 
One group of older maidens sat in the chairs, sewing.
 
Another sat at the desks, scribbling at some papers.
 
Some were resting on the bed.
 
Directly in front of them was a pool of water surrounded by decorative tiles.

“What, no one’s bathing?” Maximina asked.
 
Pellonia and Gurken looked at her.

“We were expecting company,” the young woman explained.

“This is not what I was expecting when I heard about the dragon kidnapping maidens,” Pellonia said.
 
“What are they doing?”

“Well,” the unicorn explained, “the maidens sitting in the chairs are currently sewing coats of arms for the new nobility.
 
When one becomes rich, one needs the coat of arms to go with it, and in the floating city of Arendal there are always new nobility.
 
The maidens at the desks are doing their accounting.
 
New nobility are terrible with money.”

The younger maidens got up and surrounded the new arrivals.
 
They rubbed at Gurken’s hair and beard, gently pulled at his ears and poked his bulbous nose.

“Back, young harlots! Back, I say!” said a gruff female voice.
 
The young maidens were shoved roughly aside, and a short stout dwarven maiden with a full blonde beard came through the crowd.
 
She looked Gurken over, up and down.
 
“You’ll do,” she said.
 
“Everyone out!” She pushed the other maidens toward the door and the everyone else got up and left the room with them.

“Well,” said Pellonia.
 
“What do you think she wants?”

“Let’s go,” Maximina said, smiling, and traipsed out the door.

Outside the room, the maidens stood around, mingling.
 
Giggling could be heard from the younger ones, while the older maidens mumbled to each other.
 
Pellonia and Maximina stood around feeling uncomfortable.

The female dwarf walked around Gurken, looking him up and down, and said, “Well now, what have we here?”

“My name is Gurken Stonebiter,” Gurken said.
 
“Templerager of the Stonebiter clan and avatar to Durstin Firebeard.
 
Who might you be?”

“Davina Bloodhammer, keeper of the books of the Bloodhammer clan.
 
Well met.”

Gurken set down his axe and started to remove his boots, a grin on his face.

“What are you doing?” Davina asked.

Gurken froze mid-boot removal and looked up at Davina.
 
“Um.
 
What do you mean?”

“Why are you taking your boots off?”

“Oho!
 
Boots on, eh?
 
As you like.” Gurken smiled and walked towards her.

Davina held out a hand.
 

“Stop,” she said.
 
“I think you’re mistaking my motivation.”

“I don’t know.
 
It seems pretty clear to me.”

“Gurken Stonebiter, we need help that only you can provide.”

Gurken smiled.

C
HAPTER
F
IVE

The Berserker and the Dragon

“SO, YOU NEED my help,” Gurken said.

“Yes, some of the other maidens and I are tired of living here.
 
It’s quite nice, don’t get me wrong.
 
Ohm is quite friendly.”

“Ohm?”

“That’s what we call the dragon.
 
Her full name, Omumborombonga, is quite a mouthful.
 
Ohm protects us and provides food and shelter, and in exchange we make embroidery and track the money of nobles in Arendal.”

“Where’s Arendal?”

“It’s a city about a week’s travel to the north.
 
Floating, in the air.
 
We intend to go there, continue our business, and make our own way.”

Gurken smiled.
 
“And you want me to rescue you.”

There was a pause, then Davina said, “Let’s just say you’re pivotal to our escape plan.”

Perhaps we should have taken the time to come up with a better plan
, Gurken thought as he sailed upwards through the air, clad in the plate armor of a knight and wielding a sword.
 
As he reached the summit of his ascent, he looked down and saw the maidens sneaking out of the cave, climbing over the rocks.
 
He reversed direction and plummeted towards the dragon’s gaping maw.

“Roooaaarrrgggghhhhhh!”
 
He shouted a battle cry as he fell, swinging his sword at Ohm’s waiting jaws.

Gurken fell into the dragon’s open mouth.
 
Ohm closed her mouth around the dwarf and started to chew.

“Stop it!” yelled Pellonia.

The dragon stopped, one cheek bulging outward like a chipmunk hiding a nut, and looked down at the girl.

“Hmmm?” she asked, mouth full of Gurken.

Pellonia climbed out of the cave entrance and walked over to Ohm.
 
“That’s not a knight, that’s Gurken.
 
Spit him out!”

Ohm spit the dwarf out.
 
He rolled fifty feet and came to a stop, covered in sticky dragon spittle.
 
Gurken wiped the spittle from his face and eyes with the back of his hands.

Pellonia walked over to Gurken.
 
“Whatever do you think you’re doing?”

“Rescuing maidens.”

“By getting yourself killed?”

“No.” Gurken shrugged.
 
“By slaying the dragon.”

Maximina walked up to Gurken and Pellonia.
 
“How did you get it into your head to do that?” she asked.

“What do you mean?
 
That’s what we’re here for… dragon slaying.
 
I saw an opportunity, so I took it.”

“And where did you get the plate mail armor?” Maximina asked.

“What, this?
 
Davina, the dwarfen maiden, gave it to me to aid me in my quest, but I assure you, the idea was mine own. She also gave me this handsome sword,” said Gurken, holding up a sword.
 
The long, narrow blade shimmered in the sunlight.
 
It had a golden handle, sculpted into the shape of a dragon.

“I see,” said Maximina.

“It’s a sword for slaying dragons.”

“I’ve heard of these,” Maximina said.
 
“They’re cursed.
 
They compel the wielder of the sword to seek out and slay dragons.
 
Don’t touch it, Pellonia.
 
Gurken, put it down.”

“I think not.
 
It’s a fine blade.”

“Gurken, just put the blade down,” Pellonia said.

Gurken shook his head, clutching the sword protectively.
 
Pellonia held a cloth in her hands and reached out to take the blade, but Gurken held it up over his head.

“Gurken, just hand it over.”
 
Pellonia reached for it, but Gurken turned around protectively.

“Help me slay the dragon first, and then I’ll hand over the blade.”

“The powerful cursed items prevent the wielder from putting them down willingly,” Maximina said.

“Then, we’ll have to take it from him,” Pellonia said.

Maximina nodded and pulled two spike shields from her back.
 
“Give back the sword, Gurken.
 
There’s a good dwarf.”

Gurken snarled at Maximina.
 
“I’d like to see you try it, elf.
 
You won’t be the first elf I’ve killed.”

Maximina crouched into a defensive position, shields held in front of her towards Gurken.
 
“Perhaps not, but I’m not an elf.
 
I’m an Under Elf.”

“Under what?” Gurken asked, trying to sheath his sword in order to remove his axe, but finding his hand unwilling to unclench from the sword’s grip.

“As in under the ground.
 
We’re also known as dark elves, but I prefer Under Elf.”

“I thought the elves abandoned this world to the Phage.
 
What are you doing here?” Gurken asked.

“I’m only half-elven.
 
I wasn’t invited.”

Urged on by the cursed sword, Gurken lunged at Maximina, thrusting for her eye.
 
Maximina lifted a shield to deflect the blow, but Gurken spun and dropped lower, slicing at her legs.
 
Maximina brought the other shield down, intercepting the blade.

Gurken grabbed one of the spikes and yanked, pulling Maximina off balance.
 
She leaned back to steady herself and Gurken let go of the shield.
 
Off balance, she sat down. Hard.