Dragonfly (12 page)

I wasn’t sure if I should call or text her or if her phone would even be on, and without really considering the possibilities, I turned the wheel and drove the distance to their mansion on Peninsula Avenue. My nerves vibrated in my chest as I knocked on the side door, and I nearly fainted with relief when Jack opened it and then smiled.

“You look very professional.” He pulled me through the doorway and planted a kiss on my lips.

So many emotions were rushing through me, I couldn’t tell how I felt. His words last night were still in my head along with his tone of finality, but I wasn’t ready to question him. I was so happy to see him, to kiss him.

“I had an interview—got a job working at the news office in Fairview.”

Eyebrows rose. “Congrats. That’s just what you wanted to do, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” I smiled as he ushered me into the house. “At least for now. It’s the right field and everything. But how’s Lucy? Can she have visitors? Would she want to see me?”

“I think that’d be great,” he said. “She’s less down today. Rachel sent over some flowers, and she’d probably like to see a friendly face.”

I wasn’t surprised Rachel had heard the news—more that she hadn’t said anything to me about it. But I’d been distracted all day with everything that had happened. Jack led me upstairs to Lucy’s bedroom. It was the first time I’d seen it, and I was amazed at how beautiful it was.

The entire second level of the house was floored with heart pine, and Lucy’s room had the same on her vaulted ceilings. The walls were painted a soft golden hue, and the furniture was dark mahogany. Her bed was piled high with pillows and Battenberg lace, and a beautiful Edwardian armchair with a pretty shell design was beside it. I sat there and reached for her hand. Jack slipped out of the room.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Like a complete idiot,” she said without emotion.

I chewed my lip, unsure how to respond. So I just stroked the top of her hand and looked down at it.

“Have you talked to Julian?” she asked.

I nodded. “He wanted me to tell you he waited at the hospital, but when your dad showed up, he had to go.”

“Oh, god, I’m so embarrassed,” she moaned covering her face with both hands. “Would you please tell him I’m sorry?”

“Sure, only I don’t think he expects…”

She clasped my hand. “I just wanted to escape for a little while. You know? I didn’t mean for anything bad to happen. It was just supposed to make me feel relaxed, but I guess after a few drinks—”

“You could’ve died,” I said softly.

“I know,” she breathed, releasing me. “Would you just tell him… please just tell him I said sorry.”

“You could tell him.”

“No,” she said and looked down. “I can’t see him again. After what all I said, it would be too… humiliating. I’d just really appreciate it if you’d tell him I’m sorry for all of it.”

I nodded. “Jack says you’ll be back at school in a week.”

“Like it matters. We’ll be gone by Christmas.”

My stomach plunged at those words.
Gone by Christmas
… I took a breath and tried to keep my focus on comforting her. “Still, you have friends, right? And—”

“Oh, Anna, what am I going to do? I can’t move to New Orleans. I don’t want to live with William.” Her voice cracked, and tears filled her eyes.

My chest ached seeing her so broken. “Do you have to go?” I tried. “I mean, what if you came up with a different plan? Something that would keep you here, but give you something to do?”

“Like what? Nothing interests me, I don’t know about the business. I’m not good at anything.”

“That’s not true!” I said. “You’re very smart. I’ve seen you in action, and you’re a whiz in civics. Maybe you could work in government… or law.”

“I don’t care about law.”

“Well, I mean, maybe you don’t care about much of anything right now. But after you’ve had some rest, you might feel differently. And as beautiful as you are and as much money as you have, you could do whatever you wanted! What about fashion or design? You could go to New York…”

“Alone?”

I took a deep breath. I was not helping at all, and I wasn’t surprised. I was miserable now, too, and I had no idea what I was talking about. She probably needed professional advice, not words of ignorance from inexperienced me. I was having trouble controlling my own feelings these days.

“My mom told me one time that when I started high school she felt like her life was over and no one needed her anymore,” I said. “That’s when she started volunteering at the arts association, and it’s made all the difference in the world for her.”

“Volunteering?” Lucy frowned.

“Sure. I know the Haven is always looking for someone to walk dogs.” It probably wasn’t the sexiest suggestion, but it was the first thing that popped into my head. And it was dogs, right? They were supposed to make you feel better, weren’t they?

“Dog walking?” Lucy was skeptical.

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything except you’re my friend, and I hate to see you like this.”

She reached for my hand. It was the first time I’d been around her that she wasn’t laughing with each sentence or simply effervescent. And I wanted to tell her it was okay. She was safe to have dark days, too. And not to panic, it would pass. I thought it was something her mother might say if she were here. But I didn’t know.

“I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel worse,” I said.

“You came to see me.” She smiled a little, and I knew she was trying to let me off the hook.

“I’ll come again if you want, and I’ll help you brainstorm ideas. You could do so many things. People like you, Lucy. Everybody likes you.”

She nodded. It was what she’d said to me that first night when she’d wanted to set me up with Jack.

“Right,” she said.

* * *

I left Lucy’s side feeling like a total failure. Jack came out of what had to be his room, and our eyes met. Without a word, I went to him. His bedroom was large like Lucy’s, but instead of lace and golden yellow, it was dark, marine-blue stripes with the same dark mahogany furniture. Books were scattered around the floor and a few college catalogs were stacked on his corner desk. A picture of him looking about ten years old, sitting on a boat and wearing a big grin was on a bookshelf. It made me smile. I’d missed him so much.

Music was playing quietly, and I felt him behind me. His arms slid around my waist, and he put his chin on my shoulder. My heart beat faster, and I turned to pull his face to mine. Shoulders tense, I kissed him, thinking of his words, Lucy’s words, what I knew was coming. He was still holding me, gently rubbing my back, when I moved to look at him again. Messy golden hair fell into his clear blue eyes. It seemed unfair that I had just started to know him and now it was ending.

“Thanks for coming to see her,” he said. “She’s talking to a counselor. We hope that’ll help.”

I nodded, my eyes traveling over his face.

He stepped away from me then and cleared his throat. It was like he was preparing himself, growing distant by degrees. “When I said we needed to talk last night, I wanted to explain why it’s best if we don’t… you know.” He looked away, over my shoulder, and exhaled. “This is harder than I thought.”

“Are you ending it?”

His eyes returned to mine, and he nodded. “I really like you, Anna, and the few times we’ve been together, I thought we could have fun. Make some memories. But now—”

“That’s what I want, too!” I hated sounding so needy, but I couldn’t help it. I still wasn’t sure how I’d managed to end up here, but I wanted to stay—at least a little longer. “Can’t we try? You’ll still be here a few more months.”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know if that’s fair to you.” He tried to step away, but I caught his arms, pulling him to me.

“It can be.”

He leaned down to kiss me, and I kissed him back hard, putting everything I had into it. I wasn’t thinking about logic or preparedness; I only wanted to keep him. I was willing to take a chance, move faster, if it would get me more time.

His hands were at my waist, and I helped him untuck my shirt. He stepped back to sit on his bed, and I went to him, sitting on his lap, facing him in a straddle. I held his cheeks and kissed him again. Our mouths opened, tongues entwined, and he cupped my butt, lifting me hard against his body. My hands traveled down to his shirt, loosening the buttons and tracing my fingers on his warm skin. His mouth left mine briefly to exhale a low murmur of satisfaction against my neck. It was hot and electric and very encouraging.

He held me, rocking me against his body, and I kissed his face, a scratch of stubble brushing my lips. I kissed his mouth. It was softer, and I slipped my tongue inside, tasting a little bit of mint as he continued gently moving us together. My hands cupped his cheeks, and my fingers traveled to his hairline as our mouths explored each others’, our bodies still moving together. I started to understand what was happening as heat unfolded low in my stomach, tightening through my core. My focus shifted, and I joined the motion, rising on my knees against him. I was less gentle, increasing the pace as the pressure built and our tongues crashed together. My pulse beat fire under my skin, and my fingers were gripping his back now. All my focus was centered on the point where our bodies met, moving against each other. I gasped between kisses, little noises coming from my throat.
Don’t stop, don’t stop,
echoed desperately through my brain as the tightness grew so strong, I thought I would implode.

All at once, it burst through my legs, and a breathy cry flew from my mouth. Jack kissed my neck, and I held onto his shoulders, pulling him closer as the sensation pulsed through me. His hand was under my skirt, and a thumb pressed inside, prompting another, lower noise from my throat. He covered my mouth, still burning kisses along the side of my neck to my ear, his breath tickled in my hair. My aching eased with his touch, but my heart still beat so hard. I’d never made out with a guy that way. It was amazing and intense.

I rested my head on his shoulder, trying to steady my breathing, to hold onto the shimmery feeling. I felt like things had to be different now. My hands were still under his shirt, and I caressed his skin, feeling the firm muscles there, as he hugged my waist.

He tilted my head up and kissed me like he was taking a sip of water. “Good?” he whispered.

I nodded, my eyes still closed. His hands massaged my waist again, and I leaned in for another round of kisses. If that was the warm-up, I wanted what came next, and I wasn’t going to stop it this time. But just as my hands slid lower on his stomach, a door slammed downstairs followed by the sound of voices. We both tensed.

Jack took a deep breath and caught my cheeks, kissing me two more times quickly before helping me off his lap and standing. He crossed the room to open his door, and I stood, straightening my clothes.

I went to him, and he lightly touched my face, a sad smile in his eyes. “Breaking up is hard,” he said.

“But… I don’t understand. You’re still ending it?”

He nodded, but I just blinked. I couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t mean that—it didn’t make sense to me now. I followed him out, studying his perfect body, his straight posture as we walked down the stone staircase. I was still a little wobbly and very confused when we reached the large living room. Mr. Kyser stood in front of the massive fireplace.

I froze, then I whispered, “I left my bag in Lucy’s room.”

“I’ll get it,” Jack said, running back up the stairs, leaving me alone with his father.

I tried to be as small and quiet as possible and made my way to the bar area to wait, hoping to go unnoticed. Mr. Kyser had his back to me, and he appeared to be deep in thought, staring at a picture on the mantle. I looked down at the beige stone floor.

“They were three when their mother died,” he said, breaking the silence. “My business was really taking off, and I didn’t know what I was going to do. Will was eight, so he was in school.”

My eyes went back to him, but I didn’t respond. I didn’t know how to, and he continued speaking.

“Their grandmother came to stay with us. I was working practically around the clock, so I never saw her. Or them. I didn’t want to. I was hoping I would wake up, and it would all be a bad dream.”

He turned his cold blue eyes on me, and I felt compelled to say something. “I’ve never lost anyone close to me.”

He looked away. “I’d like to apologize for our first meeting. I was dealing with a difficult situation, and perhaps I’d drunk a bit too much.”

I nodded and looked down again. I didn’t know how to act around this man. I didn’t know what he might say or do. As always in this place, I was in way over my head.

“My daughter likes to get in unique situations,” he said. “I think she does it for attention. I’m not sure she realizes that her stunts are very dangerous and not at all funny.”

“I think she’s sad.” I couldn’t believe I said it.

“Has she confided in you?”

“No, sir,” I said. “I only know when I’m sad, I don’t always think about how people around me are feeling and whether the things I’m doing are hurting them. I just don’t want to be sad anymore.”