Dragonfly Song (13 page)

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Authors: Wendy Orr

BOOK: Dragonfly Song
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It's the hottest morning of summer when Milli-Cat leads her five kittens proudly out from under the sanctuary rock. Her tail waves like a flag and the kittens march in a trail behind it. The Lady has barely finished singing the sun up when the crowd sees the parade of cats.

The Lady hears the gasps and waits for the chorus of, ‘Thank you, Mother!'

‘Cats!' she hears.

‘Little ones!'

‘The Lady's pet's had babies!'

Fila forgets the ritual and runs to scoop up the black-and-white kitten. ‘So sweet!'

The kitten squawks in surprise, but Fila is gentle; after a moment he starts to purr. Milli-Cat meows sharply and marches on to the kitchen, the other kittens following. Fila puts the black-and-white one down and picks up the black one with a white snip on his chest. ‘Are you the cutest?' she asks, and then changes her mind and cuddles the pure white one.

It doesn't hurt as much as Aissa had thought – not until Fila picks up the orange kitten.

Ever since his mother dropped him onto Aissa's neck, Gold-Cat has claimed her for his own. He yowls when she comes back to the cave, twining around her ankles till she squats to hold him. He sleeps tucked between her chin and shoulder – Aissa doesn't know how she'll sleep again without that soft warmth.

‘Ow!' Fila squeaks. The orange kitten scampers away with an indignant meow.

Milli-Cat glances at him, and goes on eating the fish Squint-Eye's offered her. Fila picks up the other black kitten. Gold-Cat hisses every time she comes near.

That evening, Milli-Cat leads her babies back to the cave for the night, and the orange kitten finds his place under Aissa's chin.

But the kittens don't know that this should only be for night-time. They haven't heard of outcasts and they don't know that No-Name doesn't exist. They don't know how hard it is to be invisible with a parade of tail-waving cats behind you.

It's confusing for the servants, too. They can't throw rocks at No-Name anymore, in case they hit
one of the Lady's cats. They'd have to chase her out in the fields – only the golden kitten tries to follow her through the gate, and she always makes sure he stays inside. Half-Two even sees her pick up the little cat and put him back when he slips out after her.

The twin forgets the figs she's been sent to pick and races back to Squint-Eye. ‘No-Name touched the Lady's cat!'

Squint-Eye's stick whacks her across the legs. ‘Stupid girl! Are you going to tell the Lady that the beast prefers No-Name to her own daughter?'

Half-Two would like to, but another whack tells her that's the wrong answer.

12

THE GOATS AND THE WOLF

Aissa looks for more paths to the sea

for oyster rocks,

mussels and seaweed

but sometimes

on a cliff

far from the fishers' cove,

she still feels the chill

of Nasta's mother,

waiting to throw her off.

The mountain is not so lonely

with sling in hand –

only hungry.

Slinging a rock at a rabbit

but never hitting it;

she doesn't know if

she could eat one,

raw and bloody,

anyway.

She's never tasted meat

except the shreds

at the bottom of soup

and maybe that's enough

for a girl like her.

In a high meadow

at the edge of the forest,

a goat grazes with her half-grown kid.

Aissa can't see a goatherd –

maybe they're wild,

belonging to no one.

If they belong to no one

they could be hers.

Remembering Spot Goat,

Mama milking,

the smell of whey,

of curds and cheese

though she can't quite

remember the taste.

But she does remember –

more than she wants –

Spot Goat guarding

on the night of terror

and Aissa drinking

like the goat's lost kid;

remembers warm milk,

and the feel of her mouth

against the belly;

the sad bleat

when Fox Lady took

Aissa away.

Her heart fills with thanks

and hope that Spot Goat

is still grazing a meadow

with a kid at her feet.

Then the goat, not Spot Goat,

but the same
ble-aah
call,

trot-trots towards Aissa,

forgetting her kid,

and never seeing

the wolf crouched behind.

The wolf doesn't trot,

stays low in the grass,

creeping up on the kid,

closer and closer.

Aissa watching in a dream,

not breathing,

still as stone,

but her hand moves,

all by itself,

knowing just how

to reach for a rock

and fit it into the sling

while her eyes watch the wolf –

its tail twitching

mouth grinning

sharp teeth waiting,

ready to spring.

Aissa's arm whirling over her head,

once, twice,

no time for more,

clutching tight to the knot,

letting the other end

slip through her fingers

cracking like a whip

as it hurls the stone

hard, fast and free.

Time slow as a dream;

the wolf in his leap

hangs in the air

and then

his head meets the rock,

and they crash

together to the ground

and the wolf is just

as dead as the stone.

The mother goat and kid

are running, bleating,

finding each other,

racing further in their panic,

while a goatherd runs closer,

her sling in one hand,

staff in the other.

It's the girl who taught

her brother to splice cord

and taught Aissa too.

She stares at Aissa,

and at the wolf on the ground.

Aissa's heart's still thumping

and her knees are weak.

She doesn't know how

she can run away.

‘You killed it!' says the girl,

with hand on heart

and tears in her eyes.

‘Thank you!

Our flock thanks you,

our family thanks you.

Thank you, thank you!'

The goatherd girl isn't much older than Aissa, but she's a lot bigger. In fact Aissa isn't any taller than the nine-year-old brother. Maybe that's why the girl thinks she needs looking after. She looks anxious when Aissa doesn't speak.

‘Sit down, child. I am Lanni, daughter of Panna the goatherd. Please, let us thank you.'

Kindness is such a shock that Aissa's knees give way. She drops to the ground.

The goatherd blows two loud, sharp notes on her bone flute.

‘Sammo, go see if they're coming,' she orders her brother. ‘Stay up on that rock so I can see you.'

‘The wolf set all the goats running,' she explains. ‘My other brother and the dog are rounding up the strays – we need to get these two back to the flock.'

She takes a deep breath and shouts. ‘Parsley! Parsley!' She turns and mutters to Aissa, ‘Don't blame me, Sammo named her.'

She picks up her flute again, but this time the notes are long and sweet, curling gently into the sky. Aissa feels a coil of fear begin to unwind, and the goat and her kid slow their frantic running. Lanni plays on until they turn back towards her.

‘I can see Onyx!' Sammo calls. ‘He's got three does and kids.'

‘Three! What's he doing coming back without the others?'

‘Wait, I can see more!'

‘Go down to the flock,' Lanni orders. ‘Keep your sling ready. That wolf will have had a mate.'

She shakes the spit out of her flute and blows again. The doe and kid are almost calm as they approach. Lanni waits till the mother goat has come right up to her before she moves. Gently, she scratches between its ears.

‘Will you come with us?' she asks Aissa. ‘When you're ready, we can take you back to your people.'

She'll turn me over to Squint-Eye,
Aissa thinks in panic,
and Squint-Eye will beat me because ... well, just because she'll always beat me if she can.

Lanni thinks Aissa's silence is from shock.

As well as the bone flute, the goatherd has a wooden bowl on another leather thong around her waist. She grips it between her knees as she squats beside the goat, crooning softly, and gently squeezes the udder until the bowl is full.

‘Drink,' she says, holding it to Aissa's lips.

Aissa drinks. It is the taste of childhood, of safety, love and warmth. She drinks till her belly is full and her eyes are overflowing.

Lanni plays her flute again, almost the same music that called Parsley and her kid, but deeper, wider. The other goats start to join them. Sammo dances excitedly, shouting the story to his older brother. The dog trots behind the goats, keeping them in a tight group; the boy looks as if he's used up all his energy in the chase.

‘When we got there, she'd killed the wolf!' Sammo explains.

‘But that's No-Name,' Onyx sneers. ‘The cursed servant!'

‘She's the girl who saved Parsley's kid,' his sister snaps. ‘And you'll thank her for it.'

‘Thank you,' the boy mutters.

‘The wolf's huge,' Sammo adds.

Suddenly Onyx is interested. ‘I'll take its pelt!'

The skin!
Aissa thinks.
A wolf fur would be so warm in winter – why didn't I take it right away?

Though she could never be sorry for drinking that milk.

‘It's not yours,' Lanni tells her brother. ‘It's the girl's.'

‘Servants can't wear wolf skin. That's for hunters, and . . .'

‘. . . and herders that earn them,' his sister finishes. ‘So remind me about when you killed a wolf – I seem to have forgotten.'

‘Onyx has never killed a wolf!' squeals Sammo.

‘Exactly. The girl's earned the pelt, and that's the end of the story. Do you have a knife, girl?'

Aissa shows her the little flint.

‘It's not very big,' Lanni says doubtfully. ‘Have you ever skinned anything with it?'

Aissa shakes her head.

‘Onyx and Sammo, keep the goats away from those woods. I'm going to give the girl a hand.'

With her own sharp stone knife, Lanni cuts the pelt at the neck and starts down the shoulder. There's a lot of blood, and the stink makes Aissa want to vomit.

‘You haven't done this before, have you?' says Lanni. ‘It'll be worth it when you've got a fur cloak in the winter.'

She hands Aissa the knife and shows her how to peel the skin free of the body.

‘I wish you could talk! I guess you wish it too. Anyway, you can hear, so listen: wash the blood off as soon you can, then soak it in sea water – and you need to scrape every bit of fat and meat off the skin, or it'll rot and smell. Your little knife will be fine for that. It'll take you a few days.'

They work together in silence.

‘Are you safe where you are?' Lanni asks suddenly.

Aissa can't answer. She doesn't know.

‘If it's true you belong to the Hall, we can't take you in. Except if you're a servant I don't know why you're up here on your own without so much as a gathering basket, or how you learned to use a sling.'

You taught me!
Aissa wishes she could say.

‘Our home is a day's walk from here, but our summer cave is nearby.' She points higher up the mountain. ‘If you ever need us, remember that we are in your debt.'

The goatherd girl guesses

that Aissa hasn't killed before,

except crickets to eat,

mussels and oysters,

or ants as she walks,

but not an animal

with a beating heart,

breathing and living

as she does.

‘You must wash,' says Lanni,

‘not just the fur.

Wash the blood from your body

and the death from your spirit.

Thank the wolf for dying;

thank the goddess

that it was him and not you.'

These are simple rules

but in a life

of cleaning privies,

hauling water

and grinding grain,

there were many things

Aissa couldn't spy.

She doesn't know

what her life is now

only that she needs to learn

all she can to survive.

Thanking the goatherd –

so strange to see

it signed back to her –

‘Be well,' says Lanni,

watching in worry

Aissa heading down the mountain

towards the town.

But first to a creek

where she does what the goatherd said:

dips the fur in cool running water,

swirls and wrings and dips again.

And when no trace of pink flows on

dips herself

clean from toes to hair.

Her body is clean

but her spirit not cleansed,

so early next morning, before first light

she leaves her cave,

waiting at the garden gate

for the Lady to raise the sun,

and while the world breakfasts

Aissa runs up the lane

all the way

to the Source.

Sliding down the white pebbles

to the steaming water's edge,

dipping a toe to test the heat

and with her tunic folded

on a rock beside,

she slides in where Kelya dipped her

on a long-ago morning –

the newborn daughter

the Lady couldn't keep.

Aissa, not knowing,

feels warm and safe

as if held

by loving hands –

though she knows

that if eyes spy her here

hands will not be loving –

the sacred Source

is not for servants or outcasts.

And she sees

tucked between rocks,

in crevices and cracks,

wooden carvings, or sometimes stone,

of a foot

or hand,

a leg or even

a tiny baby,

the prayers of people

asking for healing.

Aissa does not need healing

for a foot or leg,

one arm or finger

but for her whole self.

That afternoon she finds

an olive branch,

small and twisted,

and begins to carve

the dragonfly of her name.

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