Dreaming of You (20 page)

“Are you having second thoughts?” Finn asked with a look of concern as she took a drag off her smoke.

I noticed the redness around her wrist from where I’d dragged her at the airport. “Oh my hell, look at your arm. I am so sorry, Finn. What the hell is wrong with me that I could do that to you?”

“Aden.” She flicked her ashes into the ashtray. “My arm is fine, for Christ’s sake. It’s not like you hacked off a limb.” She looked at me, waiting, and then snapped her fingers. “Focus, honey… Do you want to go back to the airport?”

“I don’t know. I can’t figure out what the right thing to do is. In the past, it’s always been clear-cut, no questions. Bam!” Running my hand through my hair, I added, “This time, I really don’t know. Is the right thing turning back now and hopping on the first plane to California and Logan? I know I love him, and he loves me. But by doing that, would I be denying or running away from my destiny?”

“I think deep down you know what it is that you need to do.” Finn snubbed out her cigarette.

“No, sweetie, I don’t.” I took another puff. “I haven’t a fucking clue. I mean, there has to be a reason I’ve seen this man in my dreams for so many years. Is it really fair to go to California being unable to completely give myself to Logan? If I don’t at least meet this man, I know I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering what if.”

“See, I told you that you knew what it is you needed to do.” Finn took the cigarette from my hand and stamped it out in the ashtray. She got up out of her seat and held out her hand. “Come on, the time to stalk has come.”

“I’m so glad you’re here.”

I got up, and we began walking toward the elevators. I stopped about twelve feet in front of them and looked at the shiny brass doors as they slid open, allowing people to get in or come out. I spun around and faced Finn. “I think we should leave.”

“What?” she asked. “Aden, I swear if we get halfway back to the airport and you change your mind again, so help me I’ll castrate your ass.”

“Well, excuse me for having second thoughts, like you have any room to talk, Sybil.”

“Jesus, let’s just go up to the room so you can sit down and think this out.”

“Fine,” I said, turning around, slamming right into someone, knocking me back onto the floor. My carry-on flew through the air and landed a few feet away, tossing its contents all over the floor around me.
Okay, this is what I get for screaming at the woman and child while running through the airport. Twenty points.

“Jesus, are you okay?” a man asked. “I’m so sorry.”

I opened my eyes to see Dream Man standing over me. I turned to my left to see Finn just standing there with her mouth hanging open, looking at him. She turned her attention back to me to make sure that I wasn’t unconscious.

That really is him standing over me.

He got down on his knees and asked, “How many fingers?” Smiling and holding up three fingers.

“Three.” I smiled back. “I…I’m fine, really.” His voice seemed a bit off…deeper.
Maybe he has a cold?

He reached up and pulled a stick of gum out of my hair. “Gum?”

“I think I’ll pass,” I said, laughing. “You go ahead, though.”

Finn got down on her hands and knees and started picking up my scattered belongings. “It’s really his fault. He wasn’t watching where he was going.”

I shot Finn a nasty look.

“Hi.” He smiled at Finn, helping her gather up my things. “Well, we really can’t blame anyone. Things happen for a reason, right? It must have been fate.”

“I’m really sorry.” I pushed my upper body up with my arms.
He did not just use the word fate
. “I’m such a klutz.”

Handing Finn some of my stuff, he turned to me and smiled. “It was a pleasure. I’ve been all over the world knocking people down in hotels, and I have to say, baby, you’re the best.”

I nodded my head. “I get that a lot.”
His eyes too…they’re brown, not green.

“I bet you do,” he said with a look.

“Okay,” Finn said, “Romper Room’s over. We should probably get up off the floor.”

“I must say, I feel a little cheap.” He lifted himself off the floor. “I usually don’t offer gum to a guy until I at least know his name.”

While I introduced myself, I had to admit that there were a few things about the real-life version of my dream man. “Rufus Foster.” He offered his hand.

Good Christ, I actually get to touch him
. I slowly took his hand and felt a jolt of electricity fire tingles up my arm. It was definitely him. “Rufus, that’s like, one of my favorite names.”
Like, very good, Valley Girl.

“We knew it would be.” Finn stepped between the two of us. “I’m Finn, Aden’s apparently invisible best friend.”

“Nice to meet you, Finn.” Rufus shook her hand. “Well, the two of you must let me buy you a drink later. Then I can apologize for running you over by plying you with liquor.”

“That sounds great. Uh…when? Where? What time? Where? Oh.” I was wringing my hands. “I said where twice, didn’t I?”

Finn gave me a strange look. “He must have hit his head.”

“Well, how about six o’clock in the hotel bar?”

“Sounds lovely.” Finn smiled her sweet little-girl smile. “Until then,” she added, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me toward the elevator.

“Bye,” I said.

“Stop acting like you rode the short bus to school,” she mumbled under her breath while rapidly punching the Up button on the elevator.

The doors opened, and she yanked me in. I watched him while he watched us as the elevator doors closed.

“No, no,” I said, once they shut. “Why, w-why were you in such a goddamn rush?”

“What, you want reasons…? You want a list of reasons?”

“Um, I’m thinking, yeah.” I held up the hand that shook his in front of my face. “I touched him. I
really
touched him.”

“Good Lord.” She rolled her eyes. “One, it wasn’t two seconds before ‘your favorite name Rufus’ knocked you on your mind-changing, personality-swapping, all-of-a-sudden-Bette-Davis-aggressive-like ass that you were ready to turn around and head for California. Two, you were acting like an idiot. I mean, for Christ’s sake, I all but had to wipe the drool off your mouth. Three, it’s now almost one thirty. If we’re gonna get you ready by six o’clock, Cinderfella, we’ve got to get a move on. Put some hustle in our bustle. Get some heat in our feet. Place some hurry in our flurry. Fix some—”

“I think I get it,” I interrupted as the elevator doors opened. Finn breezed past me with a satisfied grin on her face. I followed her down the hall until she came to a stop. Standing in front of the door to our room, I turned around as Finn struggled with the key card to get the door open.
That’s his door. Just on the other side of that big sheet of wood he’ll be sleeping, changing clothes, and showering…naked.

“Hello”—Finn walked into the room—“door’s open there, freak daddy. Get in here and stop obsessing.”

I felt my face burn as I entered our room, which was pretty nice. The wall directly across from me as I walked in was almost all glass. There were two double beds against one wall, a made-to-look-antique armoire on the opposite wall with a television in it, and a small table with two chairs in the corner. While most hotel rooms of this size feel small and cramped, this one felt open and airy. Must be the huge-ass window wall, I thought. The walls were painted a deep cream color. There were a few pieces of art on the walls and a rather ornate Bombay Company-looking night table separating the two beds. The bathroom was large with a whirlpool tub and a shower. There was a separate water closet and a long marble countertop with double sinks.

“Well, you have your carry-on, and after your little accident downstairs, I know you have all your toiletries in it,” Finn said.

“True; I do not, however, have any clothes to change into.”

“Okay.” Finn headed for the door. “I’ll catch a cab back to the airport and pick up my car. I have a bag packed in the trunk. After that I’ll do a little shopping before coming back to the hotel.”

I looked at her a little funny.

“Well…I didn’t want to go home to an empty house, so I thought I’d stay in St. Louis tonight.”

“Fine.” I felt momentarily guilty about leaving her to go back to an empty house. “Okay, I guess I should confess here and now that Rufus isn’t an exact replica of my dream man.” I cringed a bit, waiting for the Finn fallout.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “That’s it…back to the airport.”

“He could totally be a brother or a slightly off twin!” I watched and could tell she was not having any part of it. “None of that matters, though, Finn… It’s him. The reaction when we touched. I could feel it.”

Finn was examining my face, and I could tell she was just about ready to call shenanigans on my ass.

“I can’t explain it, Finn, but it’s him, I know it.”

The look on her face said,
Bullshit!
She finally let out a sigh.

“I guess I’ll call the airline and have them hold my bags in Los Angeles, and I need to call Logan so he doesn’t drive all the way to the airport to pick me up.”

“What are you going to tell him?” she asked.

“I’m not sure,” I answered, biting my fingernail.

“You better not blame me. I don’t want to be any part of it.”

“Christ, Finn, I would never do that. It is funny how you’re getting all ethical all of a sudden. How many times have I lied to your boyfriends for you?”

“Oh fine,” she said with a smirk, “say whatever you want to. I would’ve never asked you to lie if I knew you were going to throw it up in my face every chance you got.”

“Save it,” I said, laughing as I dug through my bag for my cell. “I’ve never mentioned it before, Mary Martyr. Go get your car so I can do this and get it over with.”

She huffed a little before walking out the door. I decided it would be best to call the airline first and take care of my luggage. In other words, prolong lying to Logan and adding a little more kindling to the fires of hell I was going to burn in when this was all said and done.

The lady from American Airlines was very nice. She told me they’d give the hotel a call once my luggage had been retrieved and let me know where I’d be able to pick it up. She asked if I’d like to go ahead and book a flight for tomorrow. I didn’t know what to say. I really hadn’t thought about tomorrow, and I was somewhat pissed at her for doing so. After claiming to have missed my flight, I was unable to come up with a reasonable excuse to not do so. She booked me on a flight leaving shortly before ten a.m. the next morning and wished me an enjoyable evening in St. Louis.

I couldn’t think of what I was possibly going to say to Logan. I dialed the number for Harlow’s instead. Nathan answered the phone, and I began blurting out everything that had happened since we’d left that morning without so much as telling him it was me calling.

“Jesus Christ,” he said after my rambling ended. “Exactly what is it you think I’m supposed to feel about this?”

“Fuck, Nathan, a little guidance please.” I slammed my hand into the bed. “Am I doing the right thing? ’Cause right now I feel like I’m falling down a shame spiral to hell.”

“Hell no, you aren’t doing the right thing, you idiot, and I don’t think you really need me to tell you this.”

“So I’m like the most horrible person in the world?” I asked, pulling on a loose thread from the bedspread.

“Well, maybe not
the
most horrible person, but Aden, Jesus…this is the most self-centered thing I’ve ever seen you do. I mean, this harebrained scheme is out there, even for you.”

“Thanks, damn it. I feel much better now.”

“Boo hoo hoo, this pisses me off. Are you thinking of Logan at all?”

“Of course; I keep asking myself how I’d feel if the situation were reversed, but I’m too close to it. But I know I’d be hurt. I feel extremely guilty right now.”

“Good, listen to the guilt. I’d be pissed as hell if it were me you were doing this to. I honestly can’t believe you’re willing to risk trashing the past eight months over a stupid dream. Christ, Aden, I know you have all of the fantasies and shit, but it was always my impression that Logan was the fantasy. Now you’re off chasing some complete stranger when you should have your butt on a plane to LA. Fuck, I just spent weeks preparing a fabulous going-away party, not to mention I only resigned myself to losing my business partner because I thought you really loved Logan. I thought I was supporting you, making the transition as easy as I could for you.”